Why The Hustle Culture Is Not Serving You

Okay, you guys who have heard my backstory of growing up on a farm and ranch and just the mindset, which I love by the way, of hard work, integrity, humility, all of these pieces, but then growing a business and having to figure out how to actually shift some of that masculine hard work energy into allowing financial success to happen for me. Right? Not by me working hard, but me allowing that vision to become a reality. Yes, it's very woo woo. But it is so much a part of my journey at the Boutique Hub and I know so many of your journeys as well. So today I wanted to take that and really break down, what does that mean for you in your business? And so I'm so excited to bring in Gina Devee. She is a speaker, an author, she has a great book called the Audacity to be a Queen. And today we're talking about how do you actually shift that mindset of money is hard. Times are tough. I have to work hard. I have to put in more hours. Kind of like the Gary Vee, right? The hustle and drive mode. How do I take that and shift that as a female entrepreneur and allow my business to unfold for me? So today, please grab your notebook, please grab a pen. I hope you love this episode. If you love all things manifesting in the secret module 2 of retail boot Camp, those of you who have been through Retail Boot Camp, you know how important this is. So I hope you love meeting Gina today. I will link up all of her information in the show notes. But this is such a great episode and totally worth a listen. You guys meet Gina Devee, author, speaker and all around expert. When it comes to your mindset.

Let's.

Talk about your business strategy and the juicy details of what actually works. From mainstream fashion to fashion on Main street and the entire ecosystem behind it, how do we scale your company and do it with the balance and the happiness that we all seek? Let's hear from those insiders, experts and strategists that actually make it happen. I'm your host, Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub and I can't wait to chat. It's time for a Boutique Hub membership minute. For those of you who are members inside of the Boutique Hub, There are over 8,000 of you from around the world and who trust us every single month to bring you the latest, most relevant content, strategy, education and the most trusted community in the world. And we're so grateful for that. Here's a quick update of what's happening inside of the membership this week. First of all, this Week. We are so pumped to be ready for Pink Friday, coming on November 18th. The Friday before Black Friday was designed just for you to promote to your customers shopping small first before Black Friday, before Small Business Saturday, which happens to be an afterthought after Black Friday. Instead, before we get into the craziest, busiest weekend of holiday shopping of the year, we want you to talk to your customers about what it means to shop with your small business first. So join us inside of the Boutique Hub for more information on Pink Friday and how to maximize it this year. A second huge update happening this month at the Boutique Hub is just for you. Being built by the industry for the industry. For over two years, you have given us your feedback on wholesale shopping. And finally, out of all the beta testing we've been doing, we are introducing to you our brand new wholesale platform, Hubventory. You can check it out@hubventory.com if you're a member of the Boutique Hub. Be sure to check out your invite code to create your profile to start shopping and saving with all the brands you purchase from, you trust and you love every single day on hubventory.com where wholesale meets creative inventory planning boards where you can plan out all of your inventory, make smarter purchases, understand what you're open to buy and your budget are, and see brands that have been curated and picked because they're trusted by boutiques. You guys help us finish and put the finishing touches on the platform@hubventory.com. catch your invite code as a member of the Boutique Hub and inside of our membership groups and your emails today. Thanks for listening to the podcast, you guys. We'll be back next week with even more great guest interviews, tips, strategy, and another membership minute. All right, guys, we're back. Gina, I'm so pumped that you're here today. I feel like this is perfect timing.

Oh my goodness. With what's going on in the world, I could not agree more.

Yes. So I have to tell you this. You don't know this about me, but a little backstory. So I grew up on a farm and ranch and everything in my life was focused on hard work, integrity, get it done. Like that is like bred into me, right? And also humility. Humility is like such a huge value of mine. But as I grew and got into business, I realized, like, what that mindset also led me to was this belief that I had to work hard and force everything. And there was really no, like, flow or abundance or, or grace for myself or ease in what I was doing. So I felt like Although I like, love how I grew up, I've had to relearn a lot of things to ride the peaks and valleys of business. And I'm assuming in your line of work you see a lot of female entrepreneurs that are facing that exact same story. So I'm curious, tell me about what you see, you know, if that's a common story that you see in other female entrepreneurs you work with.

Mm, yes, yes, yes. So I think it's important for us to understand a little bit about history and then how we literally got programmed and brainwashed into just going through the motions and taking on other people's viewpoints, values, ways of being in the world. So first of all, and I'm gonna like skim over this, but you know, back, back, back in the day, you know, people, little boys were celebrated when they were born and there was not a celebration when girls were born. And so right from the very beginning, boys were educated and boys were the ones that were taught to go out there and be successful and be proud of who you are. And there was almost this shame based culture just in being born a girl. And then as the history went on, there were real legit things that happened in different parts of the world. There was famine, there was war, there was oppression, there was misuse of power and all those sorts of things. So at a time when some people really did need to scrimp or save or work harder or not put salt in their bread, because there wasn't salt doesn't mean that that is what we need to live out today. And then in more recent history, you know, with the way that, and I love men and I'm not in any way a hater, but the way that women were oppressed and put down and not offered the same seat at the table, the women who have gone before us had to really fight for that. They had to fight for the right to vote, they had to fight for the right to own businesses. They had to fight for the right to climb up the corporate ladder and really earn what they're earning. So in that, I believe our generation of women saw mothers and potentially grandmothers in that modality, in that you've got to fight for it, you've got to work hard, you've got to outbeat the guys, you've got to, you know, work harder just to make equal pay and that all of that just like, so I'm Italian, so like Tuscans back in the day, they didn't have salt to put in their bread. And still today, the people of Tuscany don't put salt in their bread. They could put salt in their bread today. And that's just my analogy of we don't have to do it the way the women did it before us. And it's time for us to create what really is part of our value system and what feels right in our intuition for how we generate and create and love and appreciate success and monetary gain and abundance and contribution in the world. So I think one of the biggest invitations for women at this time on the planet is to take a look inward versus outward. To take a look inward. Like, you have not gone through everything you've gone through. We have not gone through everything individually in our lives and post pandemic to do anything. Same old, same old. Like, we literally. It's our version of being brought through the dark ages. And this is our renaissance. We get to be the thought leaders, we get to be the artists. We get to be the new creators of literally a new world. So the challenge in that is that we are programmed in a particular way. And just like if a computer is programmed to, you know, perform a certain function, it just does it automatically. And the same with us until we look within and reprogram to do things in a different way and get a different result.

Wow.

Yes.

So it's time for some reprogramming. So we all face those. We all face that. That is so interesting to think about history and really what's led us that. So if someone's listening today and they realize, you know, I've been stuck in Hustle, I've been stuck in. I have to work hard. I need to start reprogramming. Where do you even start? Where do you even start to unravel that and learn some new lessons?

Excellent. Excellent question. The first thing is to understand what your programming even is. So I want you to just, like, sit down and take five minutes with yourself and just. What are you telling yourself? What do you believe? You know, we're entrepreneurs here, so let's talk like, you know, what are your beliefs about money? What are your beliefs about business at this time of the year? What are your beliefs Just about work in general. Like, it's hard to make money. Business is slow this time of year. Good help is hard to find. You know, everyone's scared about the economy. Like, whatever you're telling yourself.

Yeah.

And we also know enough to know we create our reality.

Yes.

So it's like we're kind of like stuck in this just juxtaposition until we get a higher consciousness. It's like well, if we believe that we create a reality and we're telling ourselves we have to do a bunch of stuff that we don't, like work harder than ever to make less than ever, whatever the lack consciousness is around it, you are only going to get more of that. So the first thing you have to become really conscious to is what are you telling yourself? And then, I mean, that'll be pretty obvious for anyone listening. It's like, okay, I feel like I have to like work really, really hard for like barely enough, let's say. That's the mentality. Well then that's what you're going to get. So if you change that mentality, then you get to change some. Change it. And I will admit at the beginning it will feel like a lie on the inside. So if you're like, money comes easily to me or I do what I love and money comes in abundance, you're like, whatever the mentality is that you'd really love to have, but everything is awkward until it's elegant. And if you program that in, just like, you know, your first three sit ups after not having been to the gym in a year and a half feel really awkward and not awesome either. And you're not seeing the results at the beginning either. If you're consistent and you're doing those sit ups, you know, numerous times a day and daily, you will see an external change in not that long of a period of time actually. So that's. You really have to do your spiritual workout with your mindset to get those different results. And the other thing that we're kind of conquering here in terms of our belief system is that within both men and women, there's masculine and feminine energies. And the western world is addicted, like literally addicted to all things masculine worship. Everything logical, linear, practical, reasonable, responsible, doing action, you know, no pain, no gain. It's about thinking, not feeling. And that has gotten us to where we are. And I love Gary Vaynerchuk, I love Tony Robbins. And we are not masculine men. Like, massive action works for them. It's part of their innate way of being. And so many of us women, we were like, well they're successful so we should do what they're doing to become successful. Well, that's how you get adrenal fatigue, that's how you get burnout. That's how you get even when you get the result, you're like, was it even worth. Because I sacrificed my marriage, my relationship, time with my kids, my body, my health, just the quality of life. And the good news Is there is another option. And it's accessing the feminine power within us. And the feminine is about play, it's about our spiritual connection, it's about the circular way of being, it's about being creative. It's ultimately femininity is about receiving and ultimately masculinity is about giving. So we can see, we're so comfortable giving, giving our time, giving our advice, giving a deal, giving, you know, our products for less than what they're worth, but receiving, receiving money, receiving a compliment, receiving an easier way of life, not so much. I write about this a lot more in my book. It's in chapter three and I go into this in depth. But the opportunity is for us to understand that if we lead with our femininity, it's going to feel really counterintuitive. Right? Because we've been told work harder, that's how you make more money. But if you function from the feminine and you go more for your passion and play, you're going to raise your vibration and then you are going to literally attract and magnetize all opportunities, money, customers, people at a higher level. So it is very law of attraction based, I will admit. And it's scientifically proven, so it works.

Yeah. Can you give me more examples? I just think this is so helpful. Like give me an example of a female entrepreneur working in their masculine on a day to day basis and a female entrepreneur working in their feminine. Because I'm sure everyone listening, there's different levels of understanding of what this is. And it is so impactful. So impactful.

Yes. Okay, so a mask. And this is like true, true story. And by the way, everything that I'm teaching here I grapple with too. You know, I have a master's degree in clinical psychology. I was a former psychotherapist turned transformational coach and my parents were school teachers. I grew up in the Midwest, in the suburbs of Detroit. And it was like, work hard, go to college, don't. And I grew up in an Italian Christian community on top of it. So like the whole like focus on the money thing was like straight up illegal. So I've had to do all my reprogramming work. Like is it even spiritual to want more money in abundance? And you know, does this stuff really work? Like, you know, like, well, you know, asking it is given. I kind of believe it from a spiritual perspective. But as an entrepreneur, do I get to really rely on that? You know, so I'm right there with everyone. So here's the perfect example. So masculine. I'm just going to go through the list again. All things logical, linear, tangible, concrete, reasonable, predictable. It's about thinking. It's about initiating, it's about taking action, it's about doing. And then remember, ultimately, masculine is about giving. So the feminine, all things spiritual, playful, creative, insightful, intuitive. It's about seeing things not as they are, but as they could be. It's about we. Masculine is about I. Feminine is about being. Masculine is about doing. Feminine is about play. Masculine is about working. So when I first started my podcast, you know, I was looking to get featured on other people's podcasts and wanted people to get on mine. So it's expanding my network. And I went and sent out 50 podcasts. Like, hey, looked you up. You look great. I think our audiences would be aligned. So. So 50 podcast pitches, you know, one after the other. Because I'm a hard worker, right? And you only. You only get success if you go and get it yourself. So I sent out 50 podcast pitches in the masculine. It's logical, it's linear. These are people in my. Should be in alignment, etc. I got 49. Zero responses. Like, I got zero responses from 49 people and one person to have their team member right back and said, fill out this form and still didn't get on that podcast. Okay? Oh, yeah, the feminine. So that's like me being, like, responsible behind my computer, putting my hours in, like, all of that logical, linear stuff. Then I was like, eff it. And I. I was like, I gotta figure out a different way. And I just called a girlfriend. I was like, hey, do you want to go to coffee? And she's like, sure. So we're hanging out, having a coffee. It was like 2 o' clock on a Wednesday, you know, when I should be back at the office kind of thing, laughing, playing to this, that. And she's like, so, what's going on with you? I was like, I gotta figure out this thing for my podcast. I, you know, want to get featured on other people's podcasts. And she's like, oh, hold on. Let me introduce you to so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so. And these are like, some of, like, the biggest podcasts. This is my friend Ashley Stahl, if anyone, you know, like, who's of the U Turn podcast. And she's like, let me introduce you to Lori Harder. Let me introduce you to Boss Babes. Let me introduce you to Sahara Rose. And like, I mean, and the list went on and on. So in 12 minutes, I got introduced and featured and on the biggest podcasts in all of women entrepreneurship.

Yeah.

From a place of the feminine connection play. So you see what I'm saying? So. So for everyone out there right now, I want you to think about. And this is the. A great question. It's a great exercise to always ask yourself, what's the most pleasurable way for me to make money today? Like, if you're in your. If you're like, just dread, you know, if it's like, I don't know, 11:37 and you're already looking to see when is 5 o' clock when you can close the store. Been there. P.S. you know, you're like, how many hours until this day is over? We need to change that up. It's like, what's the most pleasurable way you could generate new business? Like, you know, is it doing an in store event? Is it collaborating and, like, lining up all the stores in your street to do a, I don't know, restaurant row week or whatever your thing is? Like, but what is in collaboration, which is one of the big, I think, post pandemic community is the future. We have this thing that we've got to do everything on our own. But what's the most pleasurable way for you to make money? So I'll share with you another actual example. So I, as a transformational coach, and I was a business coach for a while, so my clients would ask me, gina, how do you do sales? You've gotten. You're so great at sales. I don't even feel like I'm being sold to when I sign up for your programs. Well, I was never inherently supposed to be a sales coach, but I was like, fine. So I go and I teach this class called sales superstar. And 125 people sign up for the class, which for me at the time was a lot. This was like, close to the beginning of my career. You said you had like 10 people in the class. I was like, well, this is amazing. I'm like, mom, I didn't raise no fool. I'm gonna go teach Sales Superstar too. Right? The logical linear approach. One thing worked. And I'll just do that again. Rinse, Repeat. I had 5,000 people on my list. 125 happy campers. And I had five people sign up for sale Superstar 2. And I was like. And I got it. Because I. I was like, I wasn't being spiritually guided. I wasn't in, like, what's the most pleasurable way I can make money? I was just, like, doing the thing that I could do that I thought would make money. So I asked myself this question. What's the most pleasurable way for you to make money? Oh, by the way, that class was like 497, like it was under 500 bucks. So in business coaching space, not a lot of money. So I said the most pleasurable way for me to make money. And I was like brainstorming, just playing, getting out of the box. And I was like, you know, if I could host a one day intensive, and that's where I do like this transformational work with like a one on one client. If I could host a one day intensive at the Ritz in Paris, that would be a really pleasurable way to make money. And then I was like, yeah, and I love the Lanesboro in London. And I was like, what about a villa in the south of France? A Riyadh in Marrakesh. And I think out of something in a Greek island. So I picked 7 total Pinterest worthy dream board locations, put them on a WordPress page, had seven of them. The price was $15,000 per day.

Yeah.

And in five days, all seven of them sold out. When you get like, I couldn't sell a $500 sales teleclass, but seven people said, I'll pay $15,000 for a one day and travel to Marrakesh to do this intensive with your whatever. And so this is where everyone has their uniqueness in them. So when you get into your passion, when you remember why you opened your boutique or your store or launched this product in the first place, like, that's gonna leave you clues. And I think like, the hardness of life is us being overly masculine, thinking that we need to overwork, under, earn, be all in our masculine. It's beaten our femininity out of us. It's. It's beaten that high vibration, that passion, that ability to magnetize and draw to you epic sales. And I'll give you one last example. So in I get it in retail, everyone's like, this is the slowest time of the year. And personal development and like transformation. That's December for us, right? Because like, everybody's out shopping in your stores and no one's working on themselves. And so like, I have to wait for January, New Year, new you for anyone to sign up for my stuff. And I. And everyone was like, oh, it's December. It's like slowest time of the year. And I was like, I was looking at my finances at the time and it was like I could not afford for December to be my slowest month. Of the year, because I was drowning already. I was in debt anyways. So I did this with myself. And I was like, I am not going to be brainwashing that. And I said, I am going to make December my best month of the year I am going to make. And I had no idea how at the time, but I just. I changed my mindset. I made a different decision. Decision means to cut. I cut off the old way of think. And I was like, how can I make December my best month of the year? And when you ask a better question, you get better answers. I got some creative ideas, put it out there, and sure enough, blew the rest of the year away. December became my best month of the year, and then I just played that game with myself every single year since. So it's like, how can I make December my best blue the rest of the year away? December became my best month of the year, and then I just played that game with myself. And every single year since. So it's like, how can I make December my best month of the year? And you can do that right now, too. And you will love the results.

I love that. I. So we have a thing called the J Months. So retail being slow, right? And people panic about it, and they're like, oh, God, it's J Month. And, like, you have to be like, there's a part that, yes, I must prepare. Like, I should be smart. I'm a squirrel. I'll put my nuts away for winter. But. But at the same time, like, when you're telling yourself it's going to be slow, it will be. And so exactly like, you're saying, how can you make this J Month your best month ever? And you absolutely can do that. And understandably, we're past that now and into the fall, but coming up on January, which is another J Month, like, it's the same process for retail now. They're investing in themselves. They already spent everything they had on Christmas, and everyone's back to broke and not shopping in retail anymore. So it's all cyclical. I love this. This is so helpful. Tell me more about, like, what are some habits we could adopt on a daily basis that would help to shift us? Like, you talk a lot about the play, and understandably, as entrepreneurs, like, I just need to get out of my office, but there's that guilt that goes with it. I should go golf, right? I love golfing on Tuesdays with my friends. And then sometimes I'm like, damn it, I'm too busy. I can't go. But I have to like, that is what this is all about. Tell me more about those habits I could adopt daily.

So the first thing people have to get is putting in more hours is not if, if that's how you can make more money. And I say this with love and respect as a former psychotherapist and even as a life and business coach who for a time had offered services by the hour. Even on your best day, you're just a high paid waitress and that's not what you got into this for. So we are so much smarter and more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. And I would like to challenge everyone listening to, you know, this isn't 1812. You're not working on a railroad that if you like get your overtime then you're going to make more money. Right? You know, it's like, so get creative and get scalable in setting up a business model of success for you. And if you're way of making more money is putting in more hours, you've already lost, like with all that's available to us from a creative standpoint, from business model standpoint, from recurring income, from box of the month clubs to you know, whatever. It is like it's not about putting in more hours, it is about being happier. It is about being more, more focused, fueled and more passionate. And I remember so when I was first dating my boyfriend, now husband, I had the Italian work ethic. I worked 8 to 8, Monday to Friday, like 10 to 5 on Saturday and I'd probably go to like a networking brunch on Sunday, like right? Because I was like in it to win it. We started dating, he's like, six o', clock, computer goes off. I'm like, what are you talking about? I can't get my work done in that amount of time. And he's like, well you're gonna need to figure it out because that's our time. And I was like, huh?

Yes.

That was just mind blowing to me. And I did it and it started, it forced me to think differently. It showed me all the ways I was being ineffective with time. It showed me the things that I was working on that was just not even worth working on. It showed me all the ways I wasn't delegating and I wasn't thinking smarter. I was just being the worker bee doing everything. And so, you know, that's one thing that you can challenge yourself on a daily basis is how, how can you work less and make more? Like just play that game with yourself. How can you work less and make more? Does that mean you're in the store less, does that mean you're delegating? More is like, what is that for you? We've got one life. And, you know, Europeans are so much better at this that, you know, they. They work to live, we live to work. And it's like, I don't know. I turned 49 this year and I, like, got over it. I was like, I am never at the end of my days gonna look back and be like, wow, really glad I put that extra weekend in or, you know, worked those extra hours. I'm gonna remember times with my friends or husband or traveled or had fun or went to a new restaurant. So I think that us really getting like, what is your life about? And more joy will get you to be more creative, more consistent and more powerful.

Absolutely.

I think I'll share with you. Good, good, good. You know, there's just bigger ways of playing in the world that don't require working more. When I went to one of my very first seminars, I write about this in my book. The seminar speaker taught us well said, you can turn your yearly income into your monthly income. And I was like, I made $24,000 a year. I make $2,000 a month. @ the time, I was like. And I just thought about it. I was like, $24,000 a month. Like, never even knew anyone who. I mean, that's just like the world I grew up. I never knew anyone who made $24,000 a month. That sounded like a ma. I never done drugs either. But, like, I just felt like I total, like, explosion went off inside of my brain. I was like, I never even thought about that before. And I had obviously no idea how to do that because I was $75,000 in debt making $2,000 a month. And I was like, well, if it's humanly possible for someone else, I guess it possible for me. Like, that just sounded totally amazing. So I was like. And then in that same seminar he was talking about, well, here, I'll back it. So I'll share this quickly. The. I was down to $100 in my bank account, $75,000 in debt. My credit cards were shot. I didn't have anybody to. In my family or friends to ask for the money. And was pretty depressed. And I just moved to la and a friend of a friend invited me to a seminar. So I put $20 worth of gas in the car. I drive down to to go to the seminar. I walk in and you get your like three ring binder. And the secret had just come out. And I was like, do I get it? Do I not? I'm like, you don't normally, like, spend that much time just making a $20 decision, but when it's 20% of your net worth, you do. So I'm like, ah, I'm a risk taker. I'll buy the dvd. That's what it was at the time. And so I go and I sit in the back of the room. And it had been so long since I felt happy because I just felt the heaviness of. Of work and trying to get the next client and get the money coming in, all that stuff in the room. And it had been so long since I felt happy because I just felt the heaviness of work and trying to get the next client and get the money coming in and, like, all that stuff. And I looked at these people in California, being from Detroit.