Instead of saying no outright, start with empathy and offer an alternative. Say you'd love to help but suggest a different time, delegate it, or propose something else. This keeps people from getting defensive while protecting your focus.
The power to say no to distractions and things that don't move you towards your goal. You figure out what's most important to you because so many people will just sway to other people's emergencies and other people's demands. So first, I'm gonna give you the permission to say no, but there's a secret in how to do that. Ooh, tell me the secret. So first, you don't— when you first respond, don't respond with no. And this works in the family too. It works with friends. It's not only during business. So if you start off with a yes, I would love to, or let's see, I would like to help you, but I'm working on this, this, and this, I can, or I would love to go and do that. And I'm sorry, I already have another commitment. If you start off with a no, the person you're speaking to automatically gets defensive, shuts down, and is automatically upset. And so if you start off with a, I'd love to help you, and I'm really sorry, I have another commitment, I can't do it today, but I could do it next week, or I can't— if you do this for me, then I have time to do that for you. You know, now you can delegate, you can counter-propose, now you can have a conversation.
