In this brief dialogue, Speaker A asks whether leaning toward a conversational partner prompts the partner to lean in and listen more closely. Speaker B responds by referencing mirror neurons, explaining that observable gestures such as smiling, nodding, or leaning can be subconsciously mirrored by others when a connection exists, but may be perceived as intrusive without rapport. The exchange highlights how nonverbal cues can both influence listener behavior and serve as a real‑time gauge of audience engagement during a talk.
Is it true, as we're speaking, if we lean in, is it true that whoever we're speaking to wants to lean in and listen a little closer?
That's a really good question. When you just leaned in, I was like, I want to lean in too.
I've heard that, but I didn't know if it was really a thing or not.
I think it's an interesting question. I have not read a study about that. What I can tell you is that we have mirror neurons.
Mm-hmm.
So if you smile, it's more likely that the people around you smile. If you nod, it's more likely that people are going to nod. If you lean in, it's more likely that the people are going to lean in if you're connected. Now, if you don't have a connection, then they're going to feel like, ooh, she's this person, she's intruding on my space.
So, so could this also be a way to kind of measure how you are as a speaker during your talk. You can see how engaged they are.
Okay. My look of incredulousness is, of course, Dotty. So when I'm speaking, I am looking for engagement. So me too. Yes. So one of the 6 nonverbal communication skills is listening. And we can listen nonverbally. We can listen to the nonverbals. How are people responding to you nonverbally? Are they nodding? Are they smiling? Are they agreeing with you? Are they watching you? Are they tracking anything? What are they doing nonverbally? So whether or not you lean in and they lean in, that would be interesting to see if that actually happens. But no matter what, a nonverbal communication skill is listening. Now, if they're talking, 'cause you're in one-on-one conversation, then my goodness, listen with your ears, but also listen with what you're seeing in terms of what they're doing nonverbally.
