Embracing Change and Inspiring Teams with Mel Robbins | Dreamforce 2025

Please welcome natalie scardino and mel robbins.

Hi, everybody. Are we ready? Let's ride. That's right. That's right. That is right.

Mel Robbins, everyone. The hottest ticket in town, and I know you're all here for it. Melissa, thank you for joining us.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited you showed up. Thank you.

And around the block a couple times. So thank you to everybody. But what a moment. What a full moment. And just to kick us off, you know, tell us what has led to this unprecedented success in the podcast market?

Okay, so I have to start by asking you to please be selfish. You have made the time to come to this extraordinary event for a reason. And I want you to think of one thing that you hope is going to change in the next year of your life. And I am getting really choked up because I'm having a crazy full circle moment with you right now. On June 4, 2011, my husband and I were $800,000 in debt. We had liens on the house, his restaurant business was failing. I had lost my job, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I discovered something that we'll talk about called the five second rule. That helped me get out of bed on those mornings when it just felt too difficult to face the problems that we had in our life. And it took me three years of just crawling out of the hole that we basically had dug for ourselves. And through a crazy set of circumstances, I was starting to rebuild my Life. It was June 4, 2011, and I walked on this stage and gave what is my TEDx talk. And I have not been back in this building or on this stage in 14 years since giving woo. And so when I tell you something extraordinary is going to happen in our time together, and you are going to hear something that you were meant to hear today in service of what you see as a bigger possibility in your life. I mean it. Because there was one decision that changed my life. And you know, when people ask me like that question, how do you explain the explosive success of the Mel Robbins podcast? How do you explain the unprecedented success of the Let Them theory book? And I see it's very simple. I taught myself how to get out of bed on the days I didn't feel like it. And I taught myself how to have faith in my ability and yours, frankly, to do the small things over time that lead to a better life and a better future. And so that's how I explain it. It's the small little things over time that add up and mean everything. And we get so focused on the big stuff. That you miss the extraordinary power of the little things that you do every single day that matter.

Unbelievable. And so glad that we're here 14 years later. That really is a full circle moment that we are thrilled to be here about.

And I understand Salesforce began in 2011.

That's when many of us joined in 2011. And so 14 years is the lucky number for us today, Mal, for sure. So a lot of people ask me, oh, you're meeting Mal. We need to talk about Let them, obviously, right, everybody, we got a book right here. And one of the biggest questions is, why do you think the framework of let them, let me resonate so, so much right now with people?

Well, there's a number of reasons. Number one, it's so simple. I mean, in a world that's crazy complicated, the solutions that you need can't be complicated. So it's simple. Number two, it works. And that's another reason why it's spread. Four words, let them and let me. And the second you say let them, it's crazy. Like, your shoulders drop, you feel a flood of peace, you feel a little power kind of jump in the. But here's the other reason why. This is a modern version of things you already know. This is stoicism. It's radical acceptance. It's the serenity prayer. It's the things your grandmother taught you. It is the fundamental truth about life put into a modern tool at a moment when the world feels like it's spinning off its axis. The fourth reason why this thing is spread is because other people are super annoying. Okay, really annoying. And the number one cause of your stress are other people. And so it helps you understand that other people are going to do, say, believe, whatever the hell they're going to believe and do and say. And they're going to schedule meetings at 5 o' clock on a Friday because they have no life. And you want to get out of here and go live your life. You've been working all week and you got to say, let them. Because you get to decide how much space they hold here and you get to decide how much power they drain from in here. It's the ultimate boundary between you and the world and other people. Because you're never going to be able to control other people. When you learn to let them be who they are, you live in the reality of what is instead of stressing yourself out over the fantasy of what you wish it would be. And then the most important thing is that don't you dare ever be gaslit into believing. You don't have power. The headlines are scary. The changes are overwhelming and exciting. Let them. And then say, let me remind myself through my actions and my attitude, I get to choose what I do next. I have power to change my career, to change the skills that I have, to change the course of history. You do. You absolutely do. And so that, I think, is also why this is exploded, is because the book is actually about teaching you to stop giving your power to stuff that doesn't matter or is beyond your control and claw it back and start using it for good. To make your life better, to make you better at work, to make your impact bigger. That's why this has exploded huge.

And the simplicity in it. And on that, here we are, October, at our biggest AI event in the world, and you talk a little bit or a lot about why. Learning how to take action before you're ready. This is something I try and work on personally every day. But taking action before you're ready, why is that so important?

Because your feelings and emotions are screwing you over. That's why. I made this mistake forever, you guys. I was sitting around waiting to feel ready, waiting for confidence, waiting for the right idea, waiting for the right time. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. You are never gonna feel like doing what you need to do to have any of your goals or dreams come true. It's true. Like, how many of you know what to do to be healthier? Of course you do. Does that make you go for a walk? No. And so we have it backwards. We're waiting to feel the confidence or feel the courage or feel the motivation before we do it. And your brain is not wired that way. Your brain is wired to move toward what's easy now and what you know. Which is why change will always feel hard first. But you can teach yourself to do the things that feel difficult. And if you just started doing all the things you don't feel like doing over time, you would have a lot of the things that you really want in life. It's true.

It's true. And part of it as well. Right on the taking action before you're ready is the over talking about, okay, well, if I send this email, then this will happen. If I do, it's things that haven't actually even happened that prevent you from taking that action or feeling like everything has to be perfect and you know exactly what the outcome is going to be when you take the action.

Well, look, if you're working in an emergency room, I hope you've thought through what you're about to do. You know In a life or death situation. But even then your training kicks in and so much of what your resistance is in your mind. This is what was fascinating to me because the five second rule, for those of you who don't know it, it's just like dropping food on the floor. The floor is going to contaminate the food within five seconds, right? Blow the dog hair off, you're good to go. If you eat it quickly, your brain will contaminate your confidence and your courage, your motivation. If you hesitate and think about how you feel about doing something, that's. You got five seconds. And what I started to notice in myself because I was changing my life by counting. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Get out of bed. 5, 4, 3, two, one. Pick up the phone. 5, 4, 3, Two, one. Go on that interview. 5, 4, 3,2, one. Pay the bill. 5, 4, 3. Just over and over and over I started thinking, why the hell is there so much resistance to doing these things I need to do? Almost all the resistance comes from your fear of other people. You're afraid somebody's gonna judge you. You're afraid they're gonna misunderstand. You're afraid they're already judging you. By the way. Let them.

Let them.

They already misunderstand you. They already have an opinion. And so how dare you continue to self silence and not share your ideas at work. How dare you rob us of your ideas? You've got like the let them theory for me has really been pivotal in understanding how much energy I wasted at work in my career in relationships, thinking first about other people and then using as a reason to stop myself. Well, they've already done it. It's already happened. This might sound stupid. What if my boss doesn't like it? What if nobody reads a sema na na na na na. I gotta get it right. Let them. And then you take your energy and do what's aligned with your values and express yourself. Make mistakes. Explain what you learned from your mistakes. You have so much genius locked up inside you and you're holding it back because you're afraid of what Susan in compliance might think. Sorry, Susan. There's a Susan here. I love you, Susan. Hi, Susan. We love Susan. Let's give Susan a round of applause. I love you. I love you. Yes.

Susan, in compliance you also talk a lot about. And we're here talking about problem solving in this agentic era. Yes, and really I think identifying skills for the future of work as well. How do you go about creating simple, effective solutions in kind of everyday life?

Okay, first of All. Do you even know what problem you're working on? So I think one of the biggest issues with work right now is if you think about the massive amount of change that got dropped on all of us during the pandemic. Everybody went into a state of fight or flight, and I don't think we've come out of it. I mean, remember the days where you were on video conference calls all day? The kids were home, the dog was under your feet, you were working night and day every weekend. Everything was changing. Everything was on fire at all the time. Oh, you mean what it's like right now? I don't think we've clawed our way back to being strategic and focused. And one of the things that I think a lot about is if everything is important, nothing is. I'm gonna say it again. If everything is important, nothing is. And as leaders, and the way that I define a leader, every one of you is a leader, because a leader is somebody whose behavior influences other people, has nothing to do with your title. And so one of the most important things you could do for yourself is to literally ask yourself, what is the sing most important strategic problem or thing that I need to get done at work this week? If you don't know that, ask the person you report to. They may not know that. And the answer can't be 10 things. What is the singular thing? And there's a couple reasons why I want you to really start to think about this and start your weeks this way. What is the singular strategic thing that I gotta either complete or I gotta make progress on? Number one, that focus allows your brain to organize itself to help you spot opportunities in order to move the needle. Number two, Harvard Business Review did this incredible study about what brings people meaning at work. And they made people. They had like, 14,000 people keep work journals in terms of what they were working on. And they found conclusively that what makes people feel like their work is meaningful is if you made progress on something that mattered. And so defining what is the thing this week that is the most important strategic thing that I need to make progress on aligns with all that research, too. And then here's the third reason, and this is the practical one. The second you open up your email on Monday, all the plans are out the window anyway, and everybody's emergencies become your emergency. Have you noticed that?

Yeah.

And so if you have one singular thing that is important, you can keep coming back to it. And you don't feel that nagging resentment that comes when work feels like you're standing under an avalanche of other people's problems. Like, how many of you feel like you can't even start getting your work done till like 7 o' clock at night because you've been meetings all day and you've been solving everybody else's problems. Yes. And so you as a leader also developing kind of an internal tolerance for other people's adjita and emergencies is gonna change your life at work. Because when you start quietly going, okay, let them, let them want that report this week. It's not like actually technically. And I know my strategic thing, and if you get into a conflict, here's what you say. You say, hey, I'd love to help you. And my number one strategic objective this week is this. Our team is maxed out doing this. I understand you want that. So if you could talk to the layers, a couple above us and align or get 60 more people in here, then I'm happy to go off what we're supposed to get done. And so you make them solve the problem. Because the problem for you shouldn't be that you've got 1200 hours of work to get done with three people in a 45 hour work week, or 65 hour or 85 hour whatever it is that the culture is of your company. But it starts with you. Can you tolerate somebody else's discomfort? Can you tolerate somebody else shoving their stuff on your plate? I say this to my team all the time. Just because these other people outside our company want this thing does not make us their executive assistants. You work on your timeline based on your strategic objectives. And you can tell them your friend Mel Robbins gave you permission to focus on what's going to move the needle. Because we got to get back to a point where everything's not on fire, but that we actually know what is moving the needle. That's how you make it simple. You do that work first, you simplify your own focus, and the rest of it comes kind of noise.

And on that note about leaders, you've talked before about how leaders bring the weather for their teams to set the tone.

Yes.

And we talk about leadership a lot right now on many levels. But why is that so important to bring the weather to your teams?

Well, let's unpack this. So I love the saying, leaders bring the weather. How many of you people are probably like, I don't wanna raise my hand. Have you ever worked for somebody who is a thunderstorm? Right. Yes. You know exactly what that means. And we also know what it means to work for somebody who's like being in the bright sunlight, it's warm. You want to come out and play. One of the most valuable currencies in leadership is the energy you bring, because everybody that works with you feels it. You know, if you work for somebody who is going to, like, punish the team if a mistake is made, you know, when you work for somebody who's going through a divorce at home and they take it out on the team. Right. They're just crazy and cranky and everything's a problem. If you want a team that's engaged, if you want a team that brings problems to you, if you want a team that either pulls into work or logs on to a video conference and they're. I wouldn't even say excited to be there. They're just kind of like, okay, it's gonna be a good day. If you can operate at a level with your energy that you emit the sun, you will be shocked at what happens with your team. If your team is afraid of you, or worse, if your team makes mistakes and they hide things from you because you're a thunderstorm, you are the biggest problem in your company because the best innovation happens when everybody makes mistakes and you feel safe enough to come forward and talk about, okay, what do we learn and what are we going to do different? And that begins with you as the leader, understanding that your energy is incredible. I mean, we've all worked for people like that, where you're pulling into work and you're like, God, I hate my life. How did this loser get in management? My God.

Yeah, we.

Oh, and by the way, that used to be me. Yeah, that used to be me.

I'm looking at my team, I'm like, please say it's not true.

You know? And here's the test. When they get your email, are they like, that's it. It's so simple. It's so simple.

Yes. Leaders bring the weather.

I do.

I really, really love that. And there's a lot of leaders, as you said, everybody is a leader in some capacity. What else can we do to build the resilience of our teams? What other practical pieces can we make sure that we're supporting the healthy?

Yep. So if you manage a team, do you understand what your job is? I really mean that because your job is not for you to get the work done. If you manage a team, your singular job is to do anything you can in service of your team getting the job done. And that's a very different way to think about it. Like, I used to be the world's biggest micromanager. And I'll tell you why. Because everything was important, which means nothing was important. So I was not clear about the strategic objectives. And if you're not clear to people, like in life, I think about it this way. There's kind of two ways that people tend to think. You either have people that are like what you would call box steppers. This is the person go from A to B to C to D to eat, to all the way to here. And then there are those people that are a box leaper. That's me. I can go to A and I can see W. I have no idea how to get there. I am a terrible person to manage a team. Terrible because if all I do is say, we're going to go to W and then I leave if I don't feel like things are, you've worked for somebody like this, right? Where you think everything's great, and then what do they do? They swoop right in and they start micromanaging you. And that tells you that your boss doesn't trust you. It also tells you, well, why would I put my effort into this anyway? Because they're just gonna come in and change everything at the last minute. And so when I realized, wait a minute, my job is not to micromanage A through W. My job is to define where we're going. And then my job is to get the hell out of the way and let the team figure out how to get there. And if I've been clear about what the outcome looks like, I need to let them creatively figure out how to do it. And yeah, you have check ins along the way. But another big thing is like thinking about every breakdown with your team is either a process issue, it is a skills issue, it is a lack of clarity on your part issue. I think it's safe to assume that 95% of people want to do a really good job. They don't mean to screw up. They're not intentionally showing up at work basically going, okay, I know what I'm going to do today. I'm going to screw this company over. Really, that's what I'm going to do. No, people want to show up at work and thrive. And you can do that by being clear by defining what success looks like and then getting out of the way. And you know, a very. Another good thing to do. And this comes from research. There's this huge project done called Project Aristotle. A lot of research done about the most effective ways to manage teams. And one takeaway that you can take away is every single day when you run a meeting, assuming the meeting is a smaller meeting, the person who should speak the less is you. Everybody in your team. Your job, if you're running a meeting, is to make sure everybody speaks. Because what you're modeling is, I care about what everybody has to say, not just the people I like working with, because they think the way I think. And then research shows that the team starts to do that. And so that's one thing. Second thing, that is a huge takeaway. Every day, spend 10x of your time calling out what's doing well. We hyper focus on the one thing that isn't. And you've missed out on the thousand things your team did correct. Every time you see somebody doing something, whether it's taking out the trash, or they handled a really porcupine, like, customer really well, or they made a mistake and they summarize their learnings and they sent it to the team, call that out, because you are now encouraging people and you're saying, I see what you're doing, even though it's not a big part of the job and I appreciate you. Or, hey, thank you for bringing that problem to me. That's amazing. What did we learn from that? Great. And now you're teaching people that you really want to hear about what's going wrong, because then it helps you solve it.

Yeah, I need to take that back home as well, too.

Oh, it works with kids, too.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Leo, stop. No. I'm going to pivot. Okay, I know we're coming up on time. I would love to ask you this. Who, in your opinion, is an example of an inspirational leader? When you think about their behaviors, their style, consistency.

This is going to sound really weird, but I was in a bathroom at an airport the other day, and there was a woman who was cleaning the counter. I mean, just think about that job, how thankless that is, how many people walk by you every day and never even say hello. And she was cleaning the counter and singing, and she was with every person that would wash her hands and leave, she'd be like, have a beautiful day. To me, that is a person who is operating with excellence. That is a leader who understands that her energy and how she does anything is how you do everything. She is bringing a level of pride and a level of power to a job that most of us would not do. And to me, that is a sign of somebody who is an incredible leader. Start exactly where you are. You already are a leader. You already are influencing people. And so really think about what would excellence look like in the role I have now? What would incredible energy look like in the role I have now? Whether that's a role at home or it's a role at work or it's a role in your community, you are the leader that inspires me when you do that, wherever you are. Wow.

And with that, everyone, can we thank Mel Robbins for being here.

A dream force. Amazing.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Thank you. I hope you have an incredible time in this amazing city. Thank you for spending the time investing in yourself. And please don't just hang out with the people you know.

Yes.

There are people in this room that could change the trajectory of your career. Walk over and introduce yourself to somebody. Otherwise, you're not going to meet them.

Thank you, Mel.

Thank you.