Personal Empowerment: How to Live a Successful Life with Jack Kornfield | Salesforce

Our next speaker, Jack Kornfield, is really kind of a legend around here. He is always so incredibly generous with his time and his thoughts at Dreamforce. I have had the pleasure of being able to partner with him as we've brought him inside of Salesforce to work with our employees as well. He's a pretty extraordinary person and he is really attributed as being one of the leaders in bringing Buddhist mindful practices alt to the west. He has co founded the Insight Meditation Society as well as Spirit Rock center, which is just a little bit north of here for you locals. Yeah, shout out for the Spirit Rock. So Jack has authored countless works on how to lead a more meaningful and peaceful and happy life. His latest book is entitled no time like the Present. Finding freedom, love and joy right where you are. One of my personal favorite Jack quotes is, you can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf. So our own personal surf instructor today, Jack Kornfield. Thank you.

Thank you, Jack. Bring my equipment here. Hi. Glad to see you. And what a beautiful morning it's been so far with Deepak and Ariana. Take this off like Mr. Rogers, maybe if you haven't seen that movie. It's really quite wonderful. And I'm delighted to be part of Salesforce and the kind of remarkable culture that Mark and the company is building, kind of celebrating a culture of both business success, but also of personal empowerment and success for one another. And today what I'd like to do is to offer three practices that have helped me at the time of the death of my twin brother, which was about a year and a half ago, going through a difficult divorce, raising teenager, the kind of things that we have to do in our lives. And I was asked, even as I prepared for the day, to think about this as what nourishes us personally. And you all know, because you've heard from Deepak and Arianna and so forth, the power of mindfulness and its capacities to change us. I was just teaching in the UK Parliament, and this is Mindful Nation UK185 Members of Parliament who are involved in these trainings and practices sat together with those from the House of Lords and some from the House of Commons. And after we meditated together, people said, this is the best thing that happens to us every week. We practiced together and then there was a different kind of conversation, more honest, more authentic, more vulnerable than normally happens in the political sphere. And we won't talk about what's happening right now in the political sphere otherwise, which is an exaggeration of how Bad it can be. So let's first start with a meditation, a very simple mindfulness practice. And it's again, how many of you have some kind of meditation practice? Raise your hand to know. Probably about half of you. Wonderful. Those of you do, those of you don't will work with this. Mindfulness could be called kind attention or caring attention. And you become nourished by being present. It develops well being and centeredness, all the kinds of things Arellano was talking about. And even in short periods, in five minutes, in three minutes and 10 minutes, it can make a difference to support what Arianna was just talking about. Our great scientist and sage, Albert Einstein said that if you can drive safely while kissing a girl, you're simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Right? So in some way, mindfulness is the invitation to be really present where you are. And then a line from James Joyce, who wrote of a character, Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body. The first step of mindfulness is actually to bring the body and mind and heart together. So put your feet flat on the floor, allow your body to come at ease in some fashion, let your eyes close gently. And as we begin the practice of mindful presence, remember that it's not a grim duty, it's not a matter of judgment. As Florida Scott Maxwell, the author, wrote, no matter how old a mother is, she looks to her middle aged children for signs of improvement. It's not that it is really an affectionate attention, a caring presence, and take a couple of deeper breaths that help cleanse or relax. And as you do now, let yourself remember a time of great well being or happiness in your life where you felt settled and held. Maybe sitting in the mountains or as a child at your grandparents, your grandmother's side, or sometime that was some of the safest, most contented and well that you've been in your life. And as you remember this moment, this time, feel how it affects your body. Let the sense of well being, of calm, all of that deepen. And this is the invitation of mindfulness. To begin by bringing in a sense of well being. And then as you sit quietly, there will be waves of sounds, these words, thoughts, sensations in the body. Let them rise and fall like waves of the ocean, as Deepak spoke of. And underneath it all, to stay more fully present, feel the rise and fall of your breath, the coolness in your nostrils or throat, or the rise and fall of chest or belly. And if it's helpful, you can put your hand on your belly to feel the belly rise and fall in the palm of your hand. And notice how the breath breathes itself gently as all the thoughts, sensation, sounds rise and fall like waves of the ocean around it. And with each breath settle. Now with this presence of breath and the image of well being, allow a deeper listening. Let yourself be aware of the tensions, the worries, the unfinished business of the heart, the joys and sorrows that you carry. And notice how you have touched them. Push them away, try to get rid of them, try to fix them. Reacting and in this moment bring in the element of compassion, compassion and the heart's courage to hold them all with kindness. You become the loving awareness and notice what happens as you hold a worry or concern or heartbreak or tension. With great compassion, Things soften around it, the resistance melts. And the difficulties become more workable as you hold it all with compassion and loving awareness. And now with this kind attention, as you are listening deeply, let yourself ask inside a few simple questions. What is it that your body needs from you now and in these days? And let your body answer. What would nourish and support it? Ask yourself what your heart needs. What does your heart need most in your tending and care in these days? And it will answer as well. And ask yourself what would most nourish your life. In this phase of life you can know and listen. And again feel your breath in the midst of it all and rest in a loving awareness just where you are. It. Let your eyes open when you're ready. And what we just did was an invitation to presence as Deepak started the morning with or ended his talk. An invitation to become attentive both to the experience of our life, to listen more deeply to the lessons that it has to teach us and to rest in the space of kind awareness or loving awareness itself. And it doesn't take long. In a few minutes you can help regulate yourself. In a few minutes, once you're quiet, you can trust that you can listen more deeply and ask these questions. And as you did, just raise your hand if some new understanding came of what your body needs or your heart or your mind needed. Did you learn something in that? Some of you did. I appreciate that. For others, again, you have to understand that there are a lot of forms and kinds of meditation and different times that you'll do it. But what you can do is trust that as you tune in, the things that you need to understand will present themselves. That you have a dialogue or a conversation with your own heart and your own mind as you become more present in this way. And I'm happy to say that I'm able to offer to Salesforce, to all who work at Salesforce and all your employees and all of those who are customers before the end of the fall, a program called Work Mindful for Free for anyone who wants, which will be a 12 or 15 minute a day guided instruction and meditation that really unpacks and allows you to learn your own way of practicing. And as you become more present, you also become able to connect with one another in a deeper way, to see more deeply as well as listen more deeply. And that, of course, is critical to the work of Salesforce, but it's critical to our human lives. And you start to see, when you're quieter, that you can look with the eyes of kindness and compassion and see the goodness in people. As Nelson Mandela said, it never hurts to see the goodness in others. They often act the better because of it. So I want to do a second practice with you today. And it's a little bit of a risk here, but I think risk is also interesting. Meditation is more a practice of discovery than of anything else. An inquiry. And this is a paired practice for about 10 minutes. If you happen to be shy or introverted, it may be more demanding. So be kind with yourself. Don't use it to judge yourself. But what I'd like you to do in this is to extend the mindfulness that you just brought to your own breath or body or experiences to a person sitting next to you. So without any words, find somebody that you can pair with, turn yourself and if you need a move, just so that you can look at one another for a little while whilst we do this practice. And if there's an odd number in your row, you can turn to the person behind you or get out in the aisle. And I assure you that while this is demanding, it's also rather extraordinary or interesting. So who doesn't have somebody who. Raise your hand if you don't have somebody to work with. And stand up and look for another hand that's up around you. Stand up with your hand up and somebody else stand up. I know you'll see them. Put your hand in the air, turn in a circle and look for someone whose hand is in the air. All right, so now as you find your partner, face your partner and take a breath just to relax a little bit, maybe close your eyes for a moment to center yourself. Let go of any tension you have. And when you're ready, open your eyes and look into the eyes of the person across from you. And if you feel any discomfort or the urge to look Away. You can just note that embarrassment with patience and gentleness and kindness. And come back when you can to your partner's eyes. For you may never have the opportunity to look at this human being in this unique way again. And first, as you look in these eyes, we'll look in four ways. Let yourself see the beautiful spirit that's behind these eyes that was born into them. There are gifts there, potential strengths that are amazing and can be brought into the world in all kinds of ways. Behind these eyes are unmeasured reserves of courage, intelligence, patience, of wisdom and wit. And as you see this being looking deeply behind these eyes, there grows quite naturally a connection or a care, a well wishing, as you see the beautiful spirit behind these eyes, their true nature, their original goodness, and know that what you're now experiencing is loving kindness. It's the fundamental connection between us all. Natural and great. Now, as you continue, take a deeper breath and look even more deeply in the second of these four ways of seeing. And let yourself become aware behind these eyes of the measure of sorrows, the pain that's there, the accumulated sufferings or struggles in this person's life, as in all human lives that you could only guess at disappointments and losses, loneliness hurts beyond the telling. And let yourself open with this same loving awareness to their measure of sorrows that they may never have told another. And know that you cannot fix their pain, but you can be with it with a spirit of courage. And just as you would with a child who had fallen or was hurt. And reach out. Know that your presence and the deep seeing now has given birth to the great heart of compassion. Your natural care arises. It is born in you. Trust. Is essential for the healing of the world. And continuing to gaze, take a deep breath now and look again behind these eyes. And let yourself releasing the compassion. Envision their happiest moments as a child, their best adventure. Laughing, tickling, running, playing, joyful. The child of the spirit that was born in them. You can see it now. Their marvel at seeing the first rainbows, seeing the ocean, learning new things and how great it would be to share this joy together. And as you see the child of the spirit that was born in them, that's still within them. And it resonates in your heart. Know that you are now experiencing what is called in Sanskrit, mudita, the shared joy in one another's being. Rest in it, trust it. And finally, continuing to gaze. Take a deep breath and let your awareness drop deep like a stone, as if seeing the face before you. Someone who at another time and place was your own son or daughter, Your mother or your father, Your student, Your teacher. And now you bring meet in the brink of eternity, in this timeless gaze. Who are you really? Who is gazing? And what is that spirit behind these eyes that was born into this body? Let yourself sense the timeless connection, The vast knowing. You are this spirit, this loving awareness that it's seeing itself in one another. Rest in it. Trust. Is a true homecoming. Let your eyes close gently for a moment and settle with what you've seen and felt and known. And when you're ready, let them open and just take a minute or so to thank your partner or say anything that seems really important to communicate. Finish up, How are you? That's kind of wild, isn't it? Now you don't have to do it on Muni. You don't have to do it on Bart, you know, or they'll arrest you, probably. But it was 10 minutes, a little bit less. People raised their hand. And I ask how that was and say, I've been married 32 years. We never looked at each other like that. But what you're beginning to sense in the first practice that we did of bringing a loving awareness to breath and to the experiences that are present around the breath, is that you can. The neuroscientists call it expanding the window of tolerance, and the ancients called it opening the heart to the joys and the sorrows of the world in a brave and beautiful way. Until you become the loving awareness itself that can see that beauty in yourself as they did, and that you can see it in one another. And as Nelson Mandela points to, there's something about seeing the secret beauty behind the eyes of a human being, that no matter what work or collaboration or in your family or community, we know that our whole being resonates with how another is holding us and their intention. So I'll just leave that with you. I wish we had more time, because you could talk to one another more and speak about that. But some way or another, even if it was difficult, there's a lesson in there of what it means to see deeply as well as to listen deeply, and that this is possible for you and it saves the air of going to the Himalayas or some long years in a monastery, we can be present in this same deep way with one another and with life. So now, again, I want to be practical with you today how to apply these beautiful teachings and visions that Deepak laid out and certainly that Ariana was talking about, in ways that we nourish ourselves. And so I'M giving a taste of these three practices so that you can have a sense of what it means to pay attention with this gift, this capacity of insight and understanding, or mindful presence. And one of the best things that you can do, which is kind of tied with what Arianna said, is when you're in a conflict, when you're in difficulty, before you speak, before you send the text or the email or something, before you press send, take a breath. We'll call it the mindful pause. And then ask yourself, what's my best intention? And very often, if you're in a conflict with somebody and you're trying to be right and make your point and so forth, or you're sending something, all of a sudden, if you pause for just a moment and ask, what's my best intention? You realize, I want to get along, I want to solve this, or even more deeply, I love this person. I want to have this work out. And then you reread the text or the email, or you feel what was going to come out of you, and the whole tone of your voice changes and you change the words a little bit because you realize it has to come from your heart as well. So these are things that can happen in the smallest micro ways of bringing the quality of presence that you just brought to one another by taking a pause and evoking it. And I know I can think about being in conflict with my teenage daughter, about what time when she was a teenager, what time she was going to come home, and all the kind of things one has and so forth. And we were in this conflict, and she looked at me, she just said, dad, I think it's time for you to go meditate. That was kind of her, you know, okay, all right, I'll take a breath, I'll ask my best intention and so forth. It works. So here's the third practice that I believe will also support and nourish you and particularly help in personal relations. Although if it's not a personal circumstance, you can also choose one that is in the society around you or at work. And it's a visualization. And visualizations are really easy. Think about what you had for dinner last night, where you were sitting, what was on your plate, what you ate or didn't. That's visualizing. It's that simple. So again, let your eyes close gently, Take a few deep breaths, and again bring the quality of mindfulness, or loving awareness, kind awareness to this breath and body here and now, And realize that you are awareness itself. You are loving awareness. That is Witnessing this life unfold. The body breathes itself, and you rest in awareness. And now, as you rest, mindfully, let yourself remember or bring to mind a difficult situation in your personal life that involves another person or two, one or more people. And if there isn't one in your personal life, then in some other aspect of your life, and as you remember it, picture yourself back there in the middle of this difficulty with this person or people. What does it feel like when you're in the middle of it? How does your body feel when you're in the throes of this difficulty? Picture yourself there with them, what they're saying, what the emotions are. Notice what reactivity you have, how you are reacting to it, And let it show itself, as difficult as it gets. You can see and know. And all of a sudden, wherever you are, there's a knock at the door or the ring of the doorbell, or even if you're outside, you notice that someone's coming, and you say, excuse me a moment. Excuse me. And you shift away from the people or person you're with in difficulty to see who's coming. And to your surprise, it is a luminous being of great compassion and courage and wisdom. It might be the Buddha or Mother Mary or Gandhi, you know, it might be Mother Teresa, or it might be some other luminous being, Solomon, or some extraordinary being of wisdom and understanding. Let yourself be surprised to see who comes. Some luminous, wise, loving being comes up and they say, are you having a hard day? And you nod, acknowledge, yes. And they say, let me show you how I would handle this difficulty. Why don't we switch places? You get to become invisible, and I'll take over your body. And so now inside your body is Mother Mary or Solomon or Gandhi or whoever came as a luminous being. And you follow them back to this place of difficulty and let them show you. And notice how their body feels as they enter the difficulty. Notice the spirit, what quality they bring to it, how they respond, what's their state of mind. Notice how they listen as they respond, how they engage. Let them teach you and show you how you could work in this circumstance, how you could be in this circumstance in a wise, compassionate, courageous way. And I'll show you. And let them finish up. And then all of a sudden, again, they have to say, excuse me a moment, I have to go out. They finish up, Excuse me a moment, and you follow them back to the place where you met them. And this luminous being gives you back your body, and they stand in front of you. And before they go, they reach under their robes or whatever they're wearing, and pull out a gift for you, a clear symbol of just what you need to help you in this difficulty. Let yourself receive the gift. Picture or imagine, envision, think of any way you can. What is this gift? Just this clear symbol, just what you need to get through this difficulty. Well, And if it's not clear, hold it up to the light. You can see it or know what it is. And then finally they reach over and touch you kindly on the shoulder and whisper in your ear a few words of advice. Listen, hear, imagine, think of any way you can. What are these words of wisdom? Receive them, hear them. Take them in along with your gifts. Now, thank this luminous guide or being. And when you're ready, let yourself come back to this time and place. So I have a few questions for you after this. And again, really important to not use meditations to judge yourself. You're already very good at that, you know, many of you would not be hired to be a judge in a civilized country, right? They'd have to take you to one of those dictatorships, say, oh, yeah, put her on the bench. Right. So you don't want to judge yourself, but you want to learn from it. So first question is, who came? Especially those in the first front part of the room. Just raise your hand and tell me if a luminous being came, the names who came to you? Anybody Who? Shout it out. God. Okay, anyone else? Guru Satguru, Jesus, Maya Angelou. Did the Dalai Lama come to anybody? He usually gets in there. Gandhi. Yeah. Mother Mary. Okay, so here's a question for you. Where does Mother Mary and Jesus and Gandhi and, you know, the Satva gurus and so where do they live? Guess What? Right. In 30 seconds, the room filled with saints. All right, that's pretty remarkable. Okay, second question. How was your body when you walked into that difficulty? Just shout out some words. What did it feel like? Tense, tight, rigid. What? Sick. Tense, tight, rigid, sick. Unhappy in all different kinds of ways. How was their body when they went in? You know, here's Maya Angelou with Buddha on her arm, walking in there, whatever. What was their body? Body like? Shout it out. Delighted, light, calm, relaxed, easy, gracious. You even know how your body would feel. It's already in you. You know what it would be like to go into that difficulty with a kind of graciousness. And their attitude was different, whereas ours might have been very reactive. Their attitude was what? Listening, gracious, patient, strong. But also not in the. Not in the drama, not in the conflict. What kind of gifts did People get. Anybody want to shout out a gift? You got loud as you can. White feathered path. I couldn't hear it. Could somebody hear it? A white feathered pen. Lovely. She doesn't know what it means. These gifts are like dream images. So take it, draw a picture of it, remember it. There's something about the lightness of a feather that it may indicate. There's something about writing from a place of lightness. And I've had other people get gifts in that way. There was someone who got a broom, and then she realized, oh, I have to sweep all those negative thoughts away. And somebody else who got a tiny telescope. And I said, what could that mean? And she said, I need to have perspective. You know, like the Ojibwe say. Sometimes I go about pitying myself when all the while I'm being carried by great winds across the sky or someone else got an acorn. And then the message that came with it is, plant seeds and trust. That you can trust. If you plant one good seed after another after another, something beautiful will happen. So these symbols are your heart and your wisdom responding to you with the gifts that you need. Then what kinds of advice did anybody have? What did you hear? Listen and what kind of was. It's a family situation, work situation. Beautiful. Thank you. Another. Anyone? Forgive yourself, forgive yourself. Beautiful advice. Another. I couldn't hear it. Can somebody hear it? Compassion. Beautiful. Again, other kinds of advice, you know, has come from the wise beings. Love them, visit them, and don't stay too long, you know, or. Because remember, even Buddha and Jesus had a little trouble with their families. So, you know, there's a reason it's called nuclear family. And you have to be aware of that. Or advice, you know, keep your sense of humor was the advice. Somebody. Don't take it quite so personally or so seriously. Have a perspective and what you learn in this very simple process. The three practices that we've been doing are really invitations or doorways back to your own heart and your own wisdom. How to stay present for your breath and body to become that witnessing, loving awareness that can take a breath, that can listen to what your body needs or what your heart needs, that can pause in the middle of conflict, take a breath and say, what's my best intention? How to see one another with mindfulness in a really deep way, just as you can listen deeply. How to see each other deeply and to respect the kind of. I remember Mark on Tuesday talking about the essence of stealth force, also of caring and seeing the dignity of each person. And we respond to that immediately, with that kind of dignity and respect. And then this third practice. Where do the luminous beings and the wisdom, the sages and the saints, live? When we take our time and it was again, 10 minutes to listen, we can sense how our body might do it differently, how we would respond in a different way, how we could listen or forgive or open or take things more lightly in some way. And the medicine that we seek is here in our own hearts. All we have to do is have a little bit of time to quiet ourselves, to take a minute of silence, to connect with our own deepest resources. And then you learn more and more to trust yourself. It's not part of our American education. We're all focused outward. You know, I had this great Ivy League education. Nobody taught me this until I went in the Buddhist monastery, realized I only had half an education. How to deal with emotions, how to deal with conflict, how to deal with my own fears, how to sense what really mattered to me in meaning. But we can do this. And you who are here already understand this. These are tools and practices that you can do that connect you with your own resources and allow you to trust yourself. And remember, as Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh had to say, when the crowded Vietnamese refugee boats met with storms or pirates, if everyone panicked, all would be lost. But if even one person on the boat remained centered and calm, it was enough. It showed the way for everyone to survive. And we're in this boat together, and we need somebody to remain calm and centered and wise. And guess who that person is. As Ms. Piggy would say, moi. You know, it's really in your hands and in your good hearts. And these are the kind of things that we teach all the time. We're in at the center at Spirit Rock, but there are many places in many ways that you can get the resources of mindfulness training and support for your own inner work. And most of all, to take the time every day to listen to your own heart. Thank you.