QualityMind AIUS Crew - Session 9

The funny thing was it actually works really well when I've got a guide doing it myself. There's all sorts of stuff rattling around my head, but I might hit you up for that link.

I. I can't officially send you that file which will come by WhatsApp later on, but say that.

Do you know legal terms and conditions for me?

I actually tried to find this. Not one online. I couldn't see one anywhere that just has a narrated 2 minutes moneymaker.

There we go, right there. Ken, we're on board. Got the serve back in server.

What do I do, Mimi? How do I make a million dollars?

You're writing the app. I'll go hit it up for some marketing. We're away.

Oh, let's play all over again. Alrighty, guys. So I'm going to go a little bit less with the slides today. How did everyone go with their Q map last week? I. A few more sevens with the thumbs. I seem to see a few more bubble pops going up as well, as well as the journaling. Any. Any comments from last week's little journey of all things quality mind. Mr. Palmer, you're away a bit which will come to you later on. So I'm going to go. Rahini, talk me through your week on the app.

I think it was good, Mark. I've logged, you know, my activities in the journal. Yeah, whatever I've done. Meditations are going on. However, bubble popped is still not happened this week, but hopefully I think over the weekend I'll see.

Okay.

But yeah, other things are going as expected.

Excellent. Fantastic. Well, there was a reason I asked you in particular how your week went because everyone else is going to join me with a little bit of joy when you see this slide. So, Rahini, you've gone from 15, 20, 25 to 55, 55. So eight times a day you've gone in and done an action or activity. Karl park, who's not here, the same Ken, clearly overachieving as always because he just thinks this is all a big game. It's his own words. First of all, Colpac as well, who's not here. But Rahini, that is such a big uplift. That's absolutely fantastic. So what brought you? What, What? Apart from last week and maybe giving a rip, what was it that got you on board so much this week?

You know, like I've said that, you know, this is the festive season here in India. It started basically.

Yeah.

And that is the reason, you know, there are too many commitments on the professional front also because we are into. We are working for a client, you know, who. Sales who have, you know, some targets for the festive season. And because of that, it is all from everywhere, you know. So I have taken this inspiration from the week that I think I have also mentioned here, you know, not so good week. And you know, and how meditation helped me to keep myself calm, to help keep. Keep myself at peace. And I think the same logic I've applied this week as well. You know, when. Whenever there are hard times, I just. Just turn off my screen for some time, I start meditations and then I come back, you know, which actually does wonders to me. So I've done the same thing like last week. Also taking inspiration from the previous week.

Fantastic that I mean, fantastic. First of all, because it's great to see the lift. Secondly, and Mimi and I discussed this a little bit because she's also Bug is very much into the meditation at the moment. And one of the things are saying is how powerful it can be. Just that two minutes. And that's what I use that box breathing one for. And actually to today was the first time that I went and worked in a new shared office space because I'm going nuts working at home. And I'm working actually in my younger brother's building. And so of course I went in. It's really cool. And it's quiet this morning. And then they turn on the music and it's like, oh, hang on. I wasn't. Wasn't expecting this. But to have a break. I just stepped outside and just literally just looked over the city and just did two minutes of breathing. And I sort of. How good's this? And I think the meditation, the big sessions are great for that. Getting deep and so on. But I think the real power comes in those little pressure releases as we go along in the day. Exactly as you explained. So really good work. Really, really good work. And that is reflected in again, Ken overachieving there. But you've slid on up to second place with a couple of really good weeks. So tremendous work. Now Mitch, you're away. Realize you're away. Mimi, I know you were getting back on track in the last week. What I really encourage you guys to do from this point forward now we've only got a third of the time left together is really put your foot down. And I can as close to promise you as I possibly can, you'll feel it coming on now in these next few weeks. I know at least three of you here have had some pretty big professional challenges over the past few weeks, but you've also had triumphs. You survived, you got past. You've all reported that you've done better than before. So keep up the really good work and the really good results will keep coming. Yeah, all good. All right, Mr. Palmer, we're going to get you to rewards and recognitions later on, so I want you to explain to the crew exactly what you've been up to and what that work you've done is. That's very cool. Alrighty, so today, couple of recaps. You've already seen my little notes through the week. We'll talk a little bit more about what I call the time travel emotions stages of the journey. There's only one sort of slightly challenging or deep activity that we will go in today when we get to it, which is around the relationships, which we will get to in just a moment. Alrighty. But what I've popped in here is a little bit of something just to remind you about how far you guys have come, what you've got out of it so far. And it's this whole thing, five star life model thing. So we go through the evaluation stage, we get to know ourselves a little bit just at the start, and we begin retraining and learning the new techniques. I'm not sure if retraining is the right word here, but discovering another way. Rahini has discovered that a little bit of meditation here and there works. Mitch has discovered that some affirmations in the car can really crack things along. Mimi has gotten into journaling and planning and also quite a lot of meditation. Ken, you've done meditation, walking, affirmations, planning, scheduling, the whole deal. So retraining, I think another word is we're skilling up. We're finding some new tools to put into the toolbox, which is good cleaning. And Mimi's dropped off, but she sent me something through the week through one of the Shaolin monks. And, you know, it's that he's looking this way, which Mimi's told me I have to do for my videos now is not look at the camera anymore, but I need to look this way so I look intelligent. And he sort of. But you cannot have anything new until you make some room for it. And it's really quite true. You know, you can't buy any new clothes and put them in the wardrobe until you make some space for it. And we come to a little bit of this later on, but where I really think we're at now, and a little bit of what the focus is about today is creating the new you. You get over a Few of these speed humps, you remember, you're still here, you're still in the group, you're still working at it. And creating the new you is when we go into what we call the creation mode. But it's also another way of saying we're taking a bit more control, you know, we are. How do you. How do you guarantee tomorrow is going to be good? Plan for a great tomorrow, you know, make it work for you as opposed to happening to you. And of course, when you start living it, when you start putting these things in place. So what does living it mean? Living it means sitting in your car, doing some affirmations, closing your eyes at work and doing a couple of breaths. These little actions become the platform and the infrastructure for the bigger things we want to do, because they just give us that little bit more space. They don't always work, there is always things that go wrong, but the more we do it, the better we get and just to stick at it and stick at the course and this sort of stuff. Yeah, and so these habits. One of the things I find most amazing is these are the habits that the elite performers in the world do. You know, you see tennis players, you know, who's it? Nadal, you know, he's got the bounce and everyone thinks it's really annoying that he has to bounce the ball exactly the same way, but it's a meditation. He does that same thing because that's his best chance of doing a serve because he does that sort of thing. You look at really great singers and they do breath work a little bit because it helps their voice, but a lot of it because that's what they do before they perform at their best. So these are the elite level habits. Bit of exercise, bit of movement, bit of planning, bit of stretching, bit of creating that the elite performers in the world do. I saw that you and Ken caught you. What I would like you to do now, if you could, please, is just get out a pen and paper. Alrighty, so we're going to have some fun here. And I'm about to throw just a few questions up on the board and what I'd like you to do is to just pick three or four of them, but specifically pick two. That when you've written these down or the answers to these questions down, that you'd feel comfortable, excuse me, sharing with the group. Now, all I ask you to do is make it in the present tense and make it absolutely everything you want it to be. So don't. I would like to have a bit of a Better relationship with my daughter. My God, last night she tried to kill me. You know, 16 year old girls now, so complex. So we're a little bit under slept at this end here. We had a little bit of tension in the household about three minutes to nine last night. You've got that to look forward to, Mitch. Ken's going, oh, I'm glad that's gone. Rahini's going, my daughter will never be like that. She's too cute. The naivety of it all.

Wait.

But what I want you to do is don't censor yourself. Don't hold back on your dream on this exercise, okay? Write a few things down and just be ready to give a bit of a share because I think you'll open some, some eyes for you. Now the other one is if you're looking at one of these and you go, oh, I can't answer that or I do not want to talk about it, I'll tell you what that means at the end in and, and hopefully I'm going to get this part right. So I got a little bit out of the, out of the guidelines here, but here we go. Remember, answer three or four of these bullet points, whatever, feel free to give me a share at the end. So I am going to give you from now. Yeah, I'll give you about four minutes just to jot a few of these down. Present tense, aspirational, you know, the dream. Answer that. If you heard someone else give it, you go, wow, what a life they're living. And I'll give you three minutes.

Sorry, are we responding to these or. We're writing them down?

Write them down. So these are for you. You know, use them as a bit of a journal prompt and then once you've finished writing them, just have one that you'd be happy to share. Cool. 30 more seconds there, guys. Give me a thumbs up when you're ready.

It.

Alrighty, Mr. P. When you're ready. All good. How you going there, Mimi? Good to go. If I could find a 10 second countdown timer, I'd start playing it. But there's no app for that.

As long as you don't play the Jeopardy. Theme song, we're good, man.

Oh, is that what I was trying to mimic there? My vocal range is non existent so I can't really do that. Mitch, you're right. You're a number one position in my screen today.

What?

What would you like to. Well, first of all, how did you find that?

Yeah, there's some elements that are a little bit complex for me. Where I am right now. So that's. Yeah, it's sort of, in some ways it's a little bit limiting to what I can write right now, but they're just sort of pulling out the ones that I, that I, I'd like. So, you know, sort of what are the qualities that, what the qualities that a partner has that I'm interested in. So someone who's loving, caring, compassionate, intelligent, sense of humor, sense of adventure, down to earth. Yep. The other things that I'm looking for in a partner.

Yep. Yeah.

And then what we enjoy doing together, you know, could be anything from lazy days on the couch to high stakes adventure in the ocean. Sharing ideas, thoughts, external experiences with ourselves and with other loved ones.

Nice one, Mitch. Thank you very much. Good work. Good work. Rohini, you are next along for us there. What would you, what were your thoughts on going through that little exercise there?

Basically, you know, just be more disciplined in life to discipline your daughter. I think. Yes, that's true, that's true. Because you know, I'll also just share. I'll just take two minutes and share. So Mark, I think you've kept telling me, you know, write at your journal, you know, whenever you do something, log in the app. But it took me two, three weeks to discipline myself and to get there. But when my daughter comes home, I first say, what does your teacher told you? Why didn't you pay attention? Why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that? Am I doing that? No. Okay, so even I have to do that in order to discipline my daughter. Then expect from your daughter. She's still nine years old. I'm still quite, you know, so I think from that thought, this thought has come that you first discipline yourself in order to discipline your little one.

Yeah, I am really great share. And I can't remember who it was that I was in a co. In a one on one with. Might have been. Maybe it was Ken, maybe it was Mitch. And I was reflecting on the times that I get most pissed off with my daughter, you know, as, you know, really angry. And I'll wake up the next morning and I'll go, yep, I've been doing exactly that thing. And I will get most angry at her when she has done the thing that I'm most annoyed with myself about.

Right.

And what I think you're touching on is that being authentic. And then the flip side of that is if we can forgive ourselves for being a bit not entirely doing all of our homework, can we reflect that same onto then that's the balancing act, isn't it? But I think. I think that's a really good reflection there, Rahi. Really good one. Thank you. Mimi, you're the next one there. What would you like to share with the group from that exercise?

Yeah, so basically, like, you know, while I was writing about myself, yes, I have, like, you know, I'm strong, and I'm, like, you know, disciplined, and I'm ambitious as well, so. And yes, like, you know, when it comes down to why I said discipline, that I never like to waste even a single minute, and that becomes very exhausting for me as well. And, like, yeah, so. And then, yeah, I'm blessed with a good family where. Whom. Like, you know, with whom I can share with close friends. I'm little. I'm little on the. I don't share much. I. So that's why. Yeah, I have friends. But defining close, close friends was a little bit difficult task for me.

Yeah.

Because I. I'm not a person who can open up that easily.

Ah, okay.

Yeah.

Interesting. Very good. Very good. Ken, you're the last cab off the rank there. Which one of those struck you? Caught you.

Yeah, I mean, I like the exercise, actually. I was writing these down. As I was writing down the questions, I decided to kind of just, like, when I answered each of them, just first thing in my brain, like, just, you know, you know, not overthink the question. Just, like, look at it and say, what's the first idea? So the first two, I was, you know, I always like these, because people ask me these sometimes, like, how do you want to be described? You know, because a lot of people would think, oh, a great, you know, tech guy or an entrepreneur. And really, I guess my aspirations are just a good husband and a good father. That's all I really, you know, want out of life. And the. The thing about, you know, what do I love about myself? Honestly, it's my optimism. You know, the fact that, you know, I can find all the silver linings, even probably in the most dire situations, or cut a joke even at the wrong time possible, just to try and lighten the mood. I like that, you know, I can.

Be that for others.

Yeah. Nice, Nice. So the. The hidden question in this one is the ones that are the ones that we look at conversely, where you've been able to throw an answer at something. And I'd like to come back to an answer you gave there. This is one of the exercises that tends to identify a bubble that might need popping. So if I look at that first one, you know, how do you want to be described? That's about a bit about self perception, reflection back from others. What do we love about ourselves? That's a hard one to answer because we're much more wired to see the negatives about things. Relationships, like with families, that starts to get complex for a number of reasons, because it can shift day to day with different people depending on how we feel. And I. I'm doing some study recently, so I've got a mum who is like me, but super hyperactive. Definitely adhd. She won't quite admit it, but she's definitely got that component to her. Mitch has met her. She's a bit mad, my mum, isn't she?

Mitch?

If more than once you've come across the madness of my mum, she lives by herself and so now she's starting to just be an echo chamber for her own thoughts. So she's becoming highly critical. So. And she complains about kind of everything. And I heard something fascinating the other day, that it said that the more of a negative mindset we get, the more we seek out negativity around us. And it's proven by a really simple thing that you can look at a neutral face and people who are depressed will see the face and think it's more threatening than the person who's in a positive frame of mind. And then I think about that how when I interact with people in my family and families trigger us more than anything possible because we can't choose them. You know, we've got to. Got to go with that and.

You.

Know, we can then in turn reflect back to them what they're seeing us. So my mum in a bad mood, I can give her that back without realizing that's exactly what I'm doing. And it's only recently that I've learned to take a breath and step back from it. My relationship with my brothers at the moment is awesome. They're having me in their office and giving me somewhere to work and I'm around people and I'm loving it. But historically there's been times we've had massive tension. My stepdad and I have a good relationship. Then this morning he sends through an email that I won't go into the details of. And it's the typical sort of thing that your dad or your grandfather would send through that might have been true in their time, but we look at it through the lens of today and you sort of go, oh, you can't send that. You know, it's. It's about, you know, land rights or, you know, historical Invasion of Australia or sexist issues or whatever it is. And you kind of go, oh, you just can't email that anymore. You know, you, you know, just one of those sort of things. And then what it does is it starts to change my internal dialogue about him. Okay, I've gone out with him on Thursday for his birthday and he's crapping on about this and I'm like, oh no, hang on, I'm taking him out for his birthday on Thursday. You know, as opposed to him having all this baggage. It's quite, for me, it's quite a fascinating little exercise. If you find these things challenging, you know, lean into where the discomfort is because that's where the growth is. If you, if you're willing to, whether or not now or not another time. But that is what this is designed to do. Now for your reference, there's been stuff in this about planning, dreaming, visions of life, exercise and career. But because we're all doing the one on ones, I've taken those out of our group course notes because we're already covering it elsewhere, but relationships we hadn't done much of. And I think it's a challenging one because I think it starts to become very reflective. Just a bit of a challenging one there. So just a quick reflection on a quick. There we go there and there. Just a quick one on all things the master child, the mastermind and the child mind. How are you guys going with your identification of when you are operating in your higher self and when you're being a child? Like I was at 8:57 last night. I realized that this morning. I didn't catch it at 8:57pm last night. My wife caught me being a child at 8:57pm last night. But how are you guys going in, finding yourselves in those moments or being able to identify when you're operating in your less than optimal self? Anyone got anything to offer there?

It's still taking, I mean, it's still taking probably too long to realize when I'm being a petulant idiot, you know, kind of moment, right? But I have caught it in the middle. Like if I'm, you know, I have caught myself in the middle a couple of times where, you know, when I stop talking and just do nothing for a second and then the first question in my mind is, is like, are you being an idiot or is this valid? Right? And that's helping. You know, I would say, but it's, it's. I don't know, I think it's that, that first emotional rise, it's you know, really like harder in that, in that part to catch yourself. So, you know, as you and I've talked about, it's like the triggers, you got to. You got to find where you're at in that slide and figure out where can you hit that break point that just slows everything down for a hot second. So you can ask a very basic question, you know.

Yeah, that's a good one. Anyone else have a similar reflection or commentary on that one?

I think, I think similar to Kim, it's a little bit about catching yourself in the moment and maybe identifying that earlier or during that moment. We kind of being able to pull yourself up or pull yourself out of that and go, no, that's not the behavior or the person that I want to represent being me. So I think just, just identifying that there's elements of it I think can be quite difficult. There's patterns of behavior where one thing leads into another, leads into another. But I think in general, I had an experience yesterday with a painter who's pain painting our house and has done an okay job, but clearly was lying about the work that he'd done on the front of the house, which is quite old. And you know, things like he was saying, oh, you know, I've definitely. Because we complained about cleaning the house and the boards and sanding the back, and clearly he was lying about it. But then, you know, probably in my former self, I probably would have wanted to go pretty hard at him and called, you know, bullshit on the whole thing, whereas I just brought it back to going more about what's the solution. Like, clearly that's how you feel. This is how I feel. And I can demonstrate that, that, that what you're saying is incorrect. But that being said, how do we move beyond that? Like, what's the, what's that solution? What's that next step where, you know, you walk away from the job or, you know, or do we try and find some middle ground where we both feel comfortable. So I mean, that's, you know, a scenario where, yeah, as I said, I normally would have, would have gone pretty hammer tong. And you know, you know, it's been. And then, and then, then it's that, that, that afterwards, those thoughts afterwards as well, like, oh, I'm still angry. Ah, you know, you should have said this or I should have said that. So, so that, that, that I think then, you know, like Ken was saying, it's that intersection and pulling yourself up earlier, there's been, you know, feeling like I'm in majority of the time able to do that.

Yeah, I, yeah, I, I think they're both really valid points. And I look at something that Ken said which I like is if you can make the first question a funny one, you know, so if you're sitting there going, hang on, if you can catch that anger and go, hang on, is it a valid point or am I just being an idiot? You know, if you can kind of ask yourself that funny question because it'll lighten the mood a little bit and maybe just give a little bit of the relaxation, I think that's a really good way to look at doing it. The second one that I've been trying to do and this is what I found frustrating about the interaction with my daughter last night. So nothing serious. She has a friend that stays around Monday nights. They have late night rowing and they have rowing again this morning. And last week we just couldn't get him to stop talking. And we know that our daughter, when she gets past a certain time of night, you can't reason with her. And then it gets later and it gets harder, then her friends can manage off a lot less sleep. Just kept going into my daughter's room on a Monday night when I'm trying to go to bed because I get up really early and I've got to get up even earlier to cook them both breakfast. And so it went a bit pear shaped a couple of weeks ago. So we sort of sat down and said, hey look, let us prepare for that moment. 8:30, you know, these later part of the Monday night. So we know there's going to be a trigger zone there. So we'll prepare for it. So Sunday afternoon we sat down, we're like, right, trigger zones happen as follows in a nutshell. And then as it's about to say to us, so you're going to do it this way, we said, how would you like us to support you to make sure we don't end up in a screaming match again on, you know, Monday night? How do we work through, you know, do you want us to have a chat with her parents or. No, you can't do that. Okay, we can't do that. All right. Do you want to talk to. I can't talk to a sort of. Okay, well, do you want me to say something? No, you can't say anything. It's sort of okay, what would you like us to do? And she sort of went, oh, there's no other way. So we agreed what she'd do is she'd sort of go, my dad, the bad cop is going to Be having a chat to us tonight over dinner. He got a bit pissed off last week, so we thought, oh, this is good. So she gets to defer to the. To the boss and set the scene that Dad's going to be chatting. So I turn up, pick him up from school, all happy. We get home and I was like, right, I'm knackered Come Monday nights. Working a lot. Fair bit on at the moment. No. Jess is bad without enough sleep. So here's what we're trying to do. You can stay up a little bit later, but what we're going to do to avoid drama is, you know, can we all do the following? And this is what we'd agreed, yes, on Sunday, that was cool. We sit at the dinner table, everyone's stoked, we have a laugh. Took 30 seconds. Awesome. So I get later and I, I was quite tired, a bit knackered. Knew I had a busy day today as well as, you know, you just kind of think, oh, you know, I hope they get it right, I hope they get it right. Trying to give her more flexibility to manage herself. So, you know what, I'll just, I'll just leave them to it. I'm just going to stay out of their way. I'm going to tidy the office, do this, do that. You know, it's like, great. All good, all good. And I'm like, they should have come and said good night. They haven't said good night yet. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? So go in there and they're watching television, you know, 40 minutes after, they should have turned off the television type thing, which means they're not winding down, which means they haven't brushed their teeth, which means they're not going to be in bed. And then my daughter did the classic thing, which was, oh, no, dad, you said we could watch television as late as we wanted to. And it's sort of like. And that trigger flipped. I'm like, so what? You come in here. So we gave her it and then she can. Because she's 16. What? A 16 year old. They don't, they don't go, hang on, sorry, dad, you know, she didn't go. She didn't do that. Yeah, there was no Dragon Ball, you know, pushing away the negative chi or anything. She came back with, oh, yes, you did. And because she's 16, she just knows where all of my buttons are. They're all around here. And she just stood there doing that one. So it's like, you come and tell mom the same. And then we walk in the lounge room and she gives my wife a different story. Oh, dad said this. I'm sort of. So now what was really good is she very cleverly. She then had me arguing with my wife. So rather than telling her off, I'm now in this two way argument where no matter which way I go. So after 10 minutes of this I'm like. So I'm like, right, gin and tonic's coming on. And, and, and about 10 minutes later my wife sort of like you, pretty much, kind of seriously. And I'm sort of. But she lied. Doesn't matter. And her reflection. Rahini. Exactly what you were saying. It was sort of in the moment when I needed to be the bigger person. I'd missed my opportunity to catch myself in that moment, like what Mitch was saying. But then when I reflected, yeah, I'd worked 16 hours yesterday, that was going to happen. You know, it was one of those days I work early. Mimi had given me too much work to do for my marketing so I had to get it all done. And I, what I should have remembered was you're really tired, you're not operating as your best self. And this is where the meditation and the mindfulness and everything kicks in because they are non specific tools that give us space. And I hadn't prepared myself enough. And I look at it from the perspective of I'm not going to get angry and play the victim. I'm just going to work out what do I need to do better in those scenarios because they become a bit more empowering and I laugh at it today. The only thing I can't determine is whether or not I should give her her phone back today when she gets home from school because she, she, she let, let rip on me last night was like, you do that again, you lose your phone. But no phone until tomorrow, so don't do it again. Did it again. Two days and then we're in the auction, you know, we're, we're in the elevating auction that you may never get this phone back. And Sasha's like, my wife, stop, Mark. Jess, don't say another word. You know, so I, I'll leave. And then you wake up in the morning and you go, whose fault was it? I didn't start it, but I didn't need to finish it. The joys, the joys. Alrighty then. So with that, and I think a few of us have coached around this one. So this is what I sent you through my little story from the, the pandemic. This is a fascinating one, because I think this whole notion of living in the present. The Stoics say things such as, do not let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reasons which today arm you against the present. Seneca will say, true happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future. There is nothing the busy man is less busied with than living. There is nothing harder to learn other side of the world. Ichigo itchy literally translates to one time, one meeting. Treasure every moment, treasure every encounter. I think this one really came home to me during the pandemic, where there's a show on Netflix called Midnight Gospel, and it's a guy who wrote it. Cut an exceptionally long story short, he recorded a stack of podcasts with people. Then he made the cartoons to go with the stories from the podcasts. And they have this beautiful saying which is, be here now. You know, get back into your bodies and be where your body is. And it's such a. It's so right, isn't it? You know, if we're sad or upset or angry, it's already happened. You know, if we're scared or we're apprehensive or we're worried, it's yet to happen. Most things we worry about don't happen. The argument in our head with the person that we don't like, that argument didn't really happen. It's just all between our ears. In the app, I think maybe Kalpak might have mentioned this one. There is a meditation called I am safe and everything is perfect. And it literally does cut out so much of the noise in the world. If we do be here now and just worry about the moment, my attention on that is. But we have to plan and think of the future. But we plan in the future. We plan the future from the present, and then we have to have the flexibility just to play it out and see how we go along. And I think for me, what I've found with that one in my many reflections over time is I still will ponder the past and try and learn from it. Then I work out that when I finished learning, those memories go away. You know, we. We stop mourning. You know, I stopped mourning for my dad when I finally reconciled the last couple of things in my mind. For example, I'm willing to let go the argument when I understand what I was meant to learn from it, and then it's gone. And the same way about the things in the future, sort of, okay, well, I'll do my best, but I Can't control what happens with the outcomes. So I think it's a really. Yeah, it's, it's one of my favorite notions is the be here now, be who you are, because everyone else is taken. You know, be here now because there's no other time you can be. Alrighty, was there. Before we move on, any comments on that one there? Any comments, queries, questions? No? All righty, we'll keep rolling. So what we've got here is, you know what? I'm going to kill off the slides here and I'm just going to jump to the last one and go to these three things here in terms of the journey, of the three stages. And this could well be the three different parts of, you know, the change process. I've been referring to it as the, you know, the three different trimesters of giving birth to the new you. Version 2. When I look at the first one, and this is, I think so underrated as part of any self development or mental fitness or resilience program is knowing thyself. Because we see the world through a lens, even our memories and the way we perceive the world around us is influenced by the memories and the experiences we have in our life. So once we understand ourselves, the way we see the rest of the world makes quite a lot of sense. But as we're going through that period, especially when we don't understand our own operating system, of course it feels like three steps forward, three steps back, three steps forward, forward, three steps back. That when we hit those peaks and those valleys, it's just so dynamic and so serious. Feeling every argument knocks us back for days. You know, that argument with the wife, the contract we missed out, the child that comes home and pushes all the buttons, the bad weather, whatever it is that happens, you know, the parking fine ruins the day and takes a couple of days to get over it. And that's indicative of not quite understanding the rules of engagement, especially the US part of it, then the second part of it. And then this is where it starts getting interesting. And I know this is probably the moments for myself where I found the greatest peace in the world is when I've sort of maybe not necessarily come to peace with the things that I don't like about myself or I see about myself. But when I simply began to accept those things about myself, once I got over myself, I was able to work around myself. So my mum said to me, oh, you know, Mark, you're. You're really intense. Have you not worked that out? And the first couple of times she told me. It really annoyed me. But then, as Mitch will tell you, who's known me for the longest, well, I don't like small talk, you know, I like real moments. Mitch and I have scared, surfed, scary waves together. And there is very little that is as intense as a really big wave coming up. And you're going, I need to make that. Or it's gonna. I'm gonna be drinking a lot of salt water. Or why did I like martial arts tournaments? You know, why did I want to be right there as my daughter was born? Because those intensity moments are when I know that I'm most alive. So once we accept what there is about ourselves, we can either decide to accept it and fix it, accept it and work around it, or create strategies that enable those parts of ourselves that maybe we've perceived as shortfalls as just, this is Mark. Mark has got graying hair. Mark is going blind the same way. I say to my daughter, darl, you've got adhd, but it doesn't define you. You know, it's just, this is who we are. And once we get to that acceptance phase, the peaks and the troughs become a little bit less severe, a little bit of a smoother journey because we don't get knocked around so much, because we're able to sort of stand aside from ourselves and maybe develop a bit more of that third person view. But the creator mode, when we really start to take control, design our life, design our tomorrows, and really take in the big package of us, the world, how we see it and who we are. That, I believe, is what this is really about. As we move into the third phase or the third trimester of this program is because you've got the tools. They don't always work. We don't always deploy them properly. We still have our moments of losing our shit or forgetting to meditate or not doing the stuff we should do. But if we're not having those little setbacks, then we are having that gradual, smoother progression, and that's the long game of life. Because this takes a lot less energy than this. Because that is not the shortest path to get from here to here. The shortest path is always going to be that straight line. When we slip into creative mode, we are just taking control a bit more of the things we can control in our lives. How's that resonating with you all there? Is that making sense? Did I not use too many words on that one for you?

That's fine.

Any comments, queries? Rahini, you've been rahini sits very still. I'm not sure if anyone. She just sits or she freezes her camera, I'm not sure. But she goes just like this, just in case. Do you have anything to add there, Rahi?

Nothing.

Come on. All that time trying to find the mute button and then you go, nothing. How about you, Mimi? I've not picked on you much today and you've got that really bright top on that keeps catching my eye up in the corner of the screen.

No, actually, I mean in the one on one session you have mentioned it this very well. Like, you know, whenever you are in that moment, you just make a quick laugh about it. Like, you know, if any meetings go wrong or if some conversation go wrong or like, and if anything which is not like, you know, don't limit your beliefs but instead let's just have a laugh about it and maybe like, you know, you could have a different perception towards the entire conversation. So I, I have kept that in my mind and I like, you know, like, I've mentioned that in the last week I have never been that focused and I've like always lived in the past or in the future, but I've never lived in the present.

Yeah.

So I feel like, you know, so last week was really good, like very focused.

Yeah.

Nice one, nice one. Good work, Mr. Palmer. I'm going to point something out to you there. So when you are doing your affirmations in the car, when you're saying those out loud, you're in fact creating your own dialogue. It's an example of the creation stuff. So you had a particularly challenging week last week, work wise, which we'll come back to then. How did you get yourself through that? Because I know historically you probably would have burnt yourself out by now or not gotten to that, that point that you did. So what was it that you created to get you through that challenging time?

I created a lot of panic, first off.

Not the answer I was looking for there, Mitch.

Huge amount of stress just looking, looking at, you know, you talking about, you know, here's our timeline from here to here. That is a very fine piece of time from here to here. You can't be stretched and you can't, can't add bits into it where you have to really. And I mentioned this to you as well, and I use the term sacrifice and maybe that's probably the wrong way to frame it, but something has to give. You can't get this much into this much. And so you have to selectively work out what, can I park till later? What are My priorities and what can I park till later? And and you know, there was things that sort of cropped up and you know, there was, you know, sort of some confronting, not confronting, just challenging, challenging things that came into my mind which I guess I let my child mind panic over and let me spiral out of control, you know, sort of mentally trying to unpack it all while everything else is going on. So you know, it was certainly challenging. But I think as I sort of mentioned in the group, you know, I was, even though I didn't sort of do much of the Quality Minds app last week, there is my. I have a, as I said, I sort of got a couple of go to meditations and breathing and just similar to what you did on the balcony. It's actually just stepping out for a moment and I've got a. One thing I got to try and remind myself is by working, working in the office and it's very easy and I work in the corner of the office so you know, it feels very easy to feel boxed in. And that's sort of the physical, the physical space amplifies what's going on, you know, in my head. And so it's that moment of just going for a walk, you know, heading out around the block. I was saying to Mark, I just bought these little push up bars that I've got in the office and I'll do some burpees, you know, I'll do 10 burpees and sit on the couch. Brilliant. And try and breathe through it. But, but, but really, you know, that's for light, they're for light days. When I've got a heavy day, I actually really need to get out and suck some oxygen in and you know, just take that moment like literally take that moment. So yeah, it was, was really challenging last week and, and to extent on the weekend as well, sort of coming back from the conference with a lot to catch up. Like just looking at, trying to balance, saying to Mark, I'm trying to balance a family and relationships and things like that at the moment and there's some challenging areas of that and wanting to spend time, you know, in those quality areas and you know, look, kind of making a decision to spend more time with family on the weekend and pushed other things aside. But then the result of doing that means that you know, I'm not working and I'm not doing things that raises a level of anxiety in my brain. So while I'm having a good time over here, there's a high level of guilt and anxiety. So I'm Trying to try to kind of push everything down into and kind of go deal with that later. So that's kind of where, you know, Sunday was pretty intense and then Monday was better. You know, got a little bit of exercising, but I actually got up early Monday, like super early, and just, just literally started at the start, wrote a plan. I went, what can I do now to get on top of this? What are my top three, you know, what things am I anxious about? No, that's tomorrow, that's today kind of thing. So while I didn't get to the gym on Monday because of that, that was sort of the sacrifice that I had to make to go, okay, yep, I really want to go to the gym. It probably would have helped, but my anxiety was around what I needed to, needed to get done. And so there's still a level of that, you know, sort of working. I'm sure everyone in the group knows what it's like to, to work. You know, as you mentioned, you know, 16, 18 hour day. And there's all the overflow effects of that as well. You know, like you work late, you finish at 2 in the morning, you get up at 5 or 6 again and you're tired and you're like, there's this legacy effect. So anyway, I do. Did say that to Mark that, you know, this was a different approach. And in terms of recovery, I think, you know, the, the strategies and the things that we've learned over the last, you know, sort of nine weeks have been very impactful into the regenerative side, the recovery side of going, okay, have a blowout mentally going like this. Okay, you know, where that might have lasted a week and impacted my week of work, you know, I corralled that, you know, from a week down into sort of two days, two and a half days. And then, you know, I'm probably about 80 today in terms of anxiety and sort of level, in terms of control, like 80 in control, you know. And again, I've got a big day, but I've sort of got something planned at the end of the day to, you know, you know, 10 minutes to kind of get out, you know, and, and find those little windows to kind of, yeah, take a moment and take a breather and just to reset, you know, Just to reset, you know. Yeah, sorry. When I guess page, I'm a bit.

There, so it's good work. And I. Given that we, we are close to time, so what we'll do is there is. I'm gonna, I'm gonna put a couple of bits just back into the group chat and so we can finish because I would like to get to rewards and recognitions today. There's two things I'd like you to consider that might help you with that prioritizing thing, Mitch. The first is. And Mimi knows one of them, definitely should know, probably two of them actually. The Eisenhower matrix. Have you heard of this? No. No. So if I will send you the article that I have just written about exactly this. So Eisenhower matrix. And it's literally four quadrants. What is it really important, really urgent. Down to not important. Not urgent. So scrolling social media not important, not urgent. Can it. The not urge, I think, you know, not urgent. A little bit important as you delegate it, you know, and these sorts of things. And there's the stuff you need to do right now. And then other people say, what are the, you know, three absolutes today I must do? So we've got a to do list. And then there's these three are going to be done. You know, I'm not, I'm not leaving anywhere until these things. These three things are done type thing. So that's the first one and it's super simple and it's just one of those quadrant exercises. You know, the. The stuff up here is really important. The stuff down here is met low value, not worth it. Mimi, what's the third one you've been. What was the one that you did in our one on ones you had the was I want, but I don't have. I have. I want and I have. And you had three Ds.

Yeah. So the three D was discuss, delegate and delay. Delay is not delay, but like, you know, which is say if some, some conversation is happening at the, like in a heat of the moment and somebody's like, you know, pushing you, urging you to do at that particular moment, you just like, you know, go back, discuss it, delay a bit like, you know, so that you can work that out better and then delegate it. Delegate as in like, you know, if you have a team or like, you know, somebody can do it for you. So discuss delay and. And delegate. Yes. So These are the three Ds and the four quadrants that I've been working on was just give me a moment.

There was so many notes.

So things like, you know, that I have and don't want.

Sorry.

Yeah. Things you want. That you have.

Things. Things that I have and don't want. Things I want and have. Things that I don't want and don't have. Things I want and don't have. Yeah. So I'll Just share that in the group. Yeah, it's a little bit tricky.

Would you be able to put those. Would you be able to put that into the group chat for us?

Yes, yes, yes.

That'd be great. Thanks me. And I'll. I'll send you the article as well. Mitch in there with a couple of the other bits and pieces. All right, so wins and challenges. We've had a few crackers come up. So again. But I would like to go to rewards and recognition, and I'm going to start them off this week, which I'm not technically allowed to do, but I'm going to break rules because I'm just cracking crazy and I'm all dynamic, knowing the amounts of. I'm going to. So my reward and recognition could go to any of you on any given week, but this week, I am going to give it to Mitch because the work that he's done, I know he's been working on landing that thing for a long time. And I also know that historically, Mitch would have just about killed himself by now. Doing. Now, you might have gone close this time around, Mitch, but I knowing Mitch really well and knowing not only the importance and the value and everything else to work, but the great spirit that has gone behind what Mitch has put together in that thing that he shared with us in the group. I want to acknowledge you for that, Mitch, because I know what it's meant to you, but I also know just how much you've had to get done to get that together. So my hat goes off to you this week, Fell. You've done exceptionally well on that. So my reward and recognition goes to you this week. Thank you. All right, over to you.

Oh, it's a tough one. I feel like I've got to give it to myself, too, because I feel God nearly died. You don't know if you're allowed to do it.

Is Mitch allowed to reward himself? Yep. All right. You're not going to thank yourself?

Honestly, I cannot. I cannot. 10 out to either week. It's just so much. Anyway, look, it always goes out to you guys. Everyone just inspires me every. Every week. Always have a good laugh. So. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Good work. Fell. All right, Ken, your next one down from Mitch. Thank you, Mitch.

Yeah. I think, you know, this past week, you know, saying, I guess, you know, seeing Rahini's kind of progress, you know, with the app, knowing that they're dealing with a lot of, you know, challenges, you know, late night releases suck. Been through a lot of those, but it is, you know, it. It's it's really good to see you kind of leaning into the practices a little bit more and more, having a really good breakout week with them. So, you know, keep it up. Great job.

Thanks, G. Thank you.

Over to you, Rohini. Who's your nominee for this week?

For me, I think it's much, you know, a lot of challenging areas, a lot of sacrifices, weekend working and, you know, still, you know, coming all those and, you know, setting up this new business that he's done. So I think it's much. Definitely. Thank you.

Good work. Thank you very much. Rahini and Mimi, over to you to finish off.

Yes. I have, like, you know, something to say to all three of you. I know, like, you have to choose one, but. Yes, Mitch, I mean, like, you know, your pictures were really inspirational, and I didn't know that, like, you know, what you went through until today. So, yes, like, you know, hats off to you and Ken. Like, you know, you have been always, like, you know, keeping up, achieving, like, you know, through the app. And yes, the one thing which I really liked about what you mentioned today is like, you know, you like being a good dad and a good husband. So that is like, you know, what is. Yeah, so I. I really like, you know, want to thank you for that note, like, you know, to make us realize that what's important in, like, you know, today's world. And yes, Rohini, I mean, like, you know, no matter how. I mean, how busy last day was, last night was, you made it today. And then, like, you know, it's so, yeah, like, you know, we all have been working somewhere and like, you know, we all have been working diligently towards ourselves. So, yes, really inspiring.

Thank you.

Good work.

Good work. There is one little thing I forgot to say about Ken's before we finish off. And it was said, oh, I just want to be a good dad and a good husband. You know, I don't know if there is any two more important jobs than supporting someone else or, you know, being the one that guides a child. So that was my laugh. There was. Oh, just. Oh, that's all I want. The two most hardest things in the world is all I want to be good at. So that's good. Guys, we've reached the end of our ninth session today. As I do every week, I always come in prepared, a little bit nervous, and there's always been a randomness that comes in, you know, in every one of our sessions. And just mostly just to thank you all, you know, I. I appreciate individually and collectively at times, everyone has great weeks, challenging weeks, horror weeks and otherwise. Just to remind you all, you've come a long way. You've got your to do lists and your goals. Someone quite wise said to me, you know what, you might want to think about a done list, things that I've done just to remind you how far you've come and to remind yourself what you've built up and what you've gotten out of launch, off to going forward. So, you know, as always, thank you so, so much for coming along. Early morning, late night, in the afternoon, if you are having one of those weeks where you just need to talk, you've got my number, call, message, just book in a chat, but otherwise, have the faith, keep working hard and I look forward to speaking to you all over the next few days. For now, take care, guys.

Thank you.

Oh, no, sorry, we've got to do the same horrific photo thing or else Rich will ring me up and go, where's the photo, Mark? You went to take the photo. They get upset with these things. So if you will all be. Kind enough to give me the wave and your big cheesiest of smiles. Oh, that might have actually been a good one.

We need to do a historical look back from the start.

Oh, no, you don't.

Start.

I look like I've lost all my teeth, but that's all right. I can Photoshop myself to have curly blonde hair or something. Have a lovely day, guys. See you all very soon.

Thank you.