Why Trust Is the Key to Your Success

You know, one way to develop trust with other people is to be open and vulnerable with how you're feeling and what you need consistently over a period of time. Because you trust the people who say it like it is and explain their feelings like they are. You trust people who can do that over and over and over again without the blaming and the complaining. Today's topic is trustworthiness. As you lived this last week of your life, were you a trustworthy human? Were you around trustworthy people? Do you think of trustworthiness a lot? Does it come up to your mind about who you trust? Have you made good decisions on that, bad decisions on that? I love this topic. Is this one good for journaling or what? Ladies and gentlemen? You know, thinking about all the people you shouldn't have trust, you did, and then they took advantage of you. Those are always good journal entries, aren't they? I mean, if people could read our journal entries, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes the people we got to write about. But the truth is, with all seriousness, what a great topic in personal development. Am I living with integrity so I can be trusted by myself and other people? Good question. As always, I like to give you some new journal topics, so here's four of them. Related Trustworthiness. First and foremost, ask, am I a person who follows through? When I say I'm going to do something, do I honor that? Do I do that so that you establish first trust in yourself? So if you set a goal or you have a desire or you state you're going to do something, you start a project and say you're going to finish it, you finish it. You follow through. Because that teaches your brain that you can trust yourself. It also teaches other people they can trust you. Am I a person who follows through? And if you are, you're a striver, you're here. Congratulations. You're one of the few. Most people are talkers, ain't walkers. Here you are doing the work. Thank you for being a person who follows through. Because we've all worked with people who don't follow through. They say they're going to commit to us. They don't. They say they're going to finish the project. They don't. They say they're going to show up in times of need. You ain't seen them for years. We all know people do a lot of talking, but then they don't complete, they don't finish, they don't follow through. If that is you, by the way, revisit, why journal about? What is it? Why do you do that? Did you have some mentors or people in your life who did that and you're modeling them unconsciously? I don't know anyone who's proud of the fact that they don't follow through and follow through on their word. So maybe there was someone you saw doing it just became a habit. And this is the day that you go, you know what, I'm not going to do that anymore. It hurts me because I lose faith and trust in myself. Because people who don't follow through scientifically have less confidence in self and less life satisfaction over a period of time. And as you could guess, they fail to follow through in lots of important areas of their life. And so this is an important topic. And also ask the question of do you hang around with people who follow through? I mean, I can't believe the SWAT team of humans in my life at this stage. I mean, the people I hang around with, I mean they are, they're high performers, they get it done, they say it, they write it down, they tell you they're going to do it. Wha, bam, it's done. I'm like, geez. And you know what, they elevate my game. And the more I see them execute and follow through, the more I do it and shocking. I get more successful, I feel better about myself, I get momentum more often. I love this topic. I'm passionate about this topic. This is one of the great oldies of personal development, trustworthiness, because it really comes down to personal integrity, doesn't it? I'm going to follow through on what I say, I'm going to keep my word. I love that. I love the people who, you know in your life that you do a deal with them with a handshake because they're just so solid, man, I love those type of people. If you're one, thank you for being there. Number two, if you want trustworthiness in your life, don't be a person who makes up what I could just call make believe stories. You know, it's hard to trust someone when they're always bragging about something that they did but you know, they had a little bit too much embellishment on it or they're, you know, telling you about something that's bothering them that they don't like and they just add a bunch of white lies to the story or, you know, they tried to make their hardships, you know, so much more flourished with adjectives and verbs and you just kind of, you know, those people, you're just like, oh my gosh, this guy again, he's just going to tell a bunch of stories about, you know, nonsensical things. You know, it's like people living in a fantasy world. I'm saying, don't be that person. Don't make believe stories just for attention. Don't make believe stories to connect better with other people because ultimately it erodes trust in the relationship. And we live in a world now where, you know, social media has really incentivized that. I mean, I see it all the time. People, I see them with their, you know, they're standing in front of a jet and I know they, they don't, that's not their jet. I know their finances. I know that, that' they're not even get on board that thing. They probably drove by and jumped in front of a plane. I mean, we all know the stories on social media of people saying things about their life being so great and then later turning out not to be true. Don't be that one. There's no reason to make believe stories. The best you can do is live an authentic life, express an authentic life lead, showcase an authentic life without all the make believe. And when you do that, people know you're solid. Of course, now, today, it's such an extraordinary thing. People might not trust you at first for doing that. They're like, is this person real? No way can they be this nice. No way can they be like that or struggling with that. That's amazing. And it does require a level of vulnerability. Just be honest and truthful. But you know what, at least you won't be living a false narrative. Because the people who do that over time, soon they're living a fake chapter and other people notice it and they don't want to be a character in that story no more. Third, about trustworthiness. Try not be a person who blames and complains a lot. You know, it's hard to trust those folks, the ones who are always blaming other people for their hardships, blaming other people for the project that failed, blaming other people for their own feelings, blaming other people for the state of the world, blaming other people, but never taking any actions themselves. Or complaining, complaining about everything. You know, every conversation is a complaint. Complain about this, complain about that. Lacking an appreciation or gratitude for life or the little things those folks are, they're tough to trust because you know, they're either gonna throw off responsibility when the going gets tough or they're gonna lack appreciation when things are going well. It's hard to trust people who blame and complain all the time. And so if you're around those folks aware of you, unconsciously following their lead. You know, the problem with the human brain is we like to mirror and mimic other people. We like to follow in their path. And as we do that, sometimes we end up in a bad place where we start feeling bad about life and we think everybody else is awful and we start blaming everybody for everything and we start complaining about everything that is going on in the world. Even though there's so much good and our outlook gets poisoned and our relationships do too. Beware of those things, they hurt your trust. Fourth, are you honest with your emotions and your needs consistently? You know, one way to develop trust with other people is to be open and vulnerable with how you're feeling and what you need consistently over a period of time. Because you trust the people who say it like it is and explain their feelings like they are. You trust people who can do that over and over and over again without the blaming and the complaining. It's kind of two things that go together, right? If someone is all expressing their emotions and their needs, but it's attached to blaming and complaining, you're like, ugh, get me out of here. But if someone's expressing what they need in life, what they really feel and sense and experience, and it's not tainted with lots of blaming and complaining, man, you want to be around those people. You can trust the tell. They will tell you the truth because they've told you the truth of their own experience so many times. Rewind, capture that one. I think it's important. So, trustworthiness. Am I a person who follows through? Am I a person who tells the truth and doesn't make a bunch of make believe stories? Am I a person who avoids blaming and complaining? Am I a person who's honest with others about my emotions and my needs consistently? Not once in a while, not on my birthday, but consistently. If I can do those things, I know not only will other people trust me, I'll trust me. My heart and my mind will be aligned because I've followed through. I've made sure that I live true. I've made sure to see the good in life and accept responsibility for my life. And I've told the truth about what I feel and what I need over and over and over again. I'd love for us all to get there. Do we have bad days? Make false lies? Do we do things that compromise? Do sometimes we forget to follow through? Of course we're human. No one's going to have a perfect track record on this and that is why I invite you to just explore this topic in your journal today. Maybe there's something you can learn, one new insight or distinction about yourself that maybe came up from today. Maybe not about yourself, maybe about others, and made you recalibrate about who you want to spend your time with in life. Because we all want to be around trustworthy people. Four big points today to share with you on the topic of reliability. Don't you love reliable people? People who are there for you in the hard times, People who get things done, people who show up, people who you can just count on to be kind, to be a good friend, to follow through on their word? Matter of fact, could you take a moment and think through who are the most reliable people you've had or have in your life you just count on? And isn't it true some of those people maybe you haven't even talked to for a while, but you still think of and you could still call? I have friends from gosh high school and college who maybe some of them I haven't talked to in years. I know without a doubt if I placed a call, they'd be here and they know that of me. I can think of people I've done projects with over all the years and different companies I've worked in, invested in, led, built, spoke to, mentored, coached, who maybe it's been a couple years. If I called them, they'd show up. It's something you just know about a person after just a few interactions, isn't it? And isn't it true you could probably also think of some people who were not reliable. They weren't reliable in their temperament, so they freaked you out, scared you. They weren't reliable to be there for you, so they neglected you. They weren't reliable to lean on because they were selfish. They weren't reliable to stay true to complete a project. They weren't reliable in terms of their commitment to your relationship. They weren't reliable with your money. Don't you have a very different feeling about those folks? And so if we can think so fondly of those who've been reliable and those who have not been, don't make us feel so good. It's a good mirror then to ask how have we been behaving in this important personal development topic? And I really believe most things in how we operate or live our lives really is personal development. And reliability is an important one. And it's also a word you just don't hear that much anymore. I don't know, maybe I hear it More than most people, because I work with corporate America, because I work with businesses, because I work with teams. I work with mostly, you know, CEOs or senior leaders, major influencers. I kind of work with people who tend to have a team, you know, beneath them or in their company that they manage, lead, or they lead a big community. And in those roles, reliability is spoken about a lot. But I also am obviously kind of big into social media and you don't hear that word a whole lot across social media, do you? I remember going thinking back to my schooling, I didn't hear a lot of teachers talk about reliability, very few. So I don't know how much it's been a topic of personal development in your life, but maybe four ideas today. First, let's start with you. How do you create the reliability in your character and your behavior? So much so that you have personal trust, you have that mental strength and faith in yourself to show up that you will be reliable. Yes, for you, for your goals, for your dreams, for the hard work, for the workout, for the job, for whatever it is you're chasing, trying to build for the people you love. I'd say that one of the very first things that is so cliche, but so simple, do hard things often. Do hard things often, even when you don't feel like it, even when it's like, inconvenient, even when you don't have the energy, but you have to summon the energy. This means sometimes work out when you don't feel like working out. This is the stuff people often talk about in terms of discipline, right? The discipline to show up even when you don't have the emotions that motivate you to go do it? But I also think it's a reliability question. Am I reliable to show up and do the things I said I was going to do and will I do them even when I don't feel like it, which makes it a hard thing to do, and will I do that consistently? I think most people aren't reliable in their health practices. And this is why, at least here in North America, we have a terrible health crisis and we often bemoan our career development, but we really stay safe in our comfort zones. And when it comes to hard projects getting put on our plates, we just get upset about it, frustrated about it, try to shrug it off versus reliably working through, doing hard things frequently. When you do hard things frequently, not only do you stretch and grow, but the beauty of it is you start to trust and yes, even respect yourself in becoming reliable to one's own word. Following through on one's own choices, decisions, goals, dreams, obligations, commitments. One gains respect of oneself. Not showing up for those things, you tend to lose respect for yourself. Then self esteem goes down, then expectancy or belief goes down, then motivation goes down. The good news is you can reverse engineer all those things too by just showing up, doing hard things often. Second idea I'd like to share today is show up for other people when they're in need. Show up when they're overwhelmed. Show up when they've lost someone. Show up when they've had a hard day. Make that call, send that text, write that email, ring them up. Show up for other people. They need some time, give it to them. Show up for other people. They need some mentorship, give it to them. Your spouse is having a hard day. Show up, say, sorry you had a hard day. I'm here with you. We'll get through this. Show up for other people at work. Say, I know we're a little bit behind here, but you know what? We've all struggled. I believe in you. Let's make a plan. When you show up for other people, especially when they're down and out, especially when they're sad, especially when things aren't going right, they remember it and they count on you as a reliable party. I know the pessimists out there will say, oh, Brennan, all you're gonna do is make them addicted to seeking help of others. All you're gonna do is make them that person who never gets their stuff together. Cause they just lean on other people. Hey, you gauge how much you serve in this world, you can say no. You can set boundaries. But the folks in your life, the important ones, the ones you serve with, fight with, bleed with, lead with, show up for them. Third, check off lists daily. Set your deadlines or reminders. But every day, please, every day, have a to do list and it's prioritized. And at least three things you will do every day. Set that in the morning and do those three things, you might actually have a list. No, no, no, Brendon. My to do list is 50 things. I know. Pick your top three priorities. Make sure those get done just that. Every day we'll get real momentum. But it's checking off those lists. I'm telling you what. In psychology and in high performance studies, it's shown over and over. A simple checklist done consistently every single day starts to actually improve one's perspective of themselves, of their odds for success and in their ability to be more productive. Checking off those Lists every day. I know you'll thank me for it, and you'll thank yourself for it. Last idea on reliability. Be there when it doesn't matter. This is a weird one, but I remember working with an Olympian, and she's a track and field Olympian, and she was a person who always talked about the value of showing up for practices when the coaches weren't there, her teammates weren't there. Just, you know, her own personal will to go out and practice. And that practice maybe didn't matter as much. Maybe she didn't push herself as hard. Maybe she didn't have, you know, the teammate to compete with or the coach to make her do the extra lap or the, you know, go 0.03 seconds faster. But she was there, and there was value in it. No one was watching, but she was there. Reliable to her dream, even when no one was looking. It's all those great stories we know, you know, Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant out there just practicing, Practicing till the lights turned off. Practicing before the lights came on. They did it so often, maybe it didn't seem like it mattered, but they were there. I bet you can't think of a single sports legend who doesn't have that lore about their story where they were out practicing when no one was watching. It's that entrepreneur working on Saturdays before the kids wake up. It's that new executive logging in before anyone else. It's that person who just goes the extra mile, even though they didn't need to, Making that thing a little better, caring about the craftsmanship more than anyone else. It's that when we do things and we be there when it doesn't matter and no one else sees it, that we end up giving us ourselves a psychological pat on the back. Good job. I showed up even when no one was handing out trophies. I was there doing the work, doing the work, doing the work. I think we all owe it to ourselves to become a little more reliable in our personal lives, seeking our dreams. A little more reliable to the other people around us, more reliable to finish our projects, someone people can count on as a role model, as a servant leader, as a caregiver, as a parent, as a manager, as someone of influence. When we care about reliability again, all of a sudden we increase trustworthiness, we increase collaboration. We're more willing to reach out and work with other people because we gain that faith that they'll be there, and they gain that faith in us that we'll be there, too.