Ben Greenfield shares three habits that strengthen relationships: say "I don't know" more often, admit when you're wrong, and ask for forgiveness. He uses a parenting story about a white lie to show how humility and ownership matter, noting that genuine disagreement about being wrong happens only about 2% of the time.
Questions this video answers
January 4, 2023
(1) Say "I don't know" more; (2) Readily admit when you are wrong; (3) Ask for forgiveness when you've done something wrong.
About 2% of the time.
He says roughly 9.9 times out of 10 you should say "I don't know", admit when wrong, and ask for forgiveness.
Chapters
Hey, I'm no relationship expert, but there's three things that I've kind of learned along the way. Navigating relationships with my wife, kids, my co workers, employers, employees, friends, family members. You name it. I think more people could benefit from practicing these three things. First, say, I don't know more. Admit when you're wrong. Set aside all pride and just say, I don't know. Practice saying it. Heck, if you're really challenging yourself intellectually, you'll find that you say, I don't know a lot, and that's a good thing. That means you're growing. Next, number two, readily admit when you are wrong. Okay. It's so humbling. Trust me, it's hard. When I'm in an argument, I'm like, huh, yeah, you right, I'm wrong. Or I see the point that you made there. I stand corrected. Or, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I didn't do that. Or say that the right way. A lot of us just need to learn to set our pride aside and not only say, I don't know, but then admit when you're wrong. And then finally, if you have done something wrong, don't just say you've done something wrong. Number three, ask for forgiveness. That's hard. When I go to my kids in the morning and I lied. Like the most recent example, I told them a joke and they laughed and they said, did you make that up, dad? And I said, yeah. They found felt like shit for the next day because I heard the joke. I did, like, a little variation on it, but it was a white lie or whatever you want to call it. Either way, it was a lie. I had to sit down with my kids the next morning and say, hey, guess what? Dad lied to you. I'm sorry. I lied to make myself look funnier than I actually am, and that was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Okay? You need to operate through life with that mindset. So just admit you're wrong, ask for forgiveness when you're wrong. And remember, if you haven't done anything wrong, it's okay to be radically honest. It's okay to say, look, I see what you're saying. I've searched myself. I've looked at the whole situation. I cannot for the life of me see what I did wrong here. I'm so sorry. I would be lying to you to say I was wrong. I would be lying to you to say, please forgive me. So do you think you could bear with me here and maybe give me a few days to think about this or you know, just don't make me apologize quite yet because I'm not sure that it would be in full authenticity. That happens 2% of the time. Okay, so you should be rarely saying that. But I don't want you to think that you got to be asking for forgiveness and saying sorry and saying, I don't know, just to make yourself look humble if you actually do know the answers, if you actually are right, if you actually don't need to ask for forgiveness. But 9.9 times out of 10, I want you to say I don't know more readily admit when you were wrong, and ask for forgiveness when you've done something wrong. Those are my top three keys to relationship success today. Thanks for watching.
