40: Sexual Assault Victim To Impact Entrepreneur // The Story of Carlie Rioux

You know, when I first started talking about the attacks, because there was four in total that I count, I was kind of ignoring it. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't know why my memory was going. You know, I couldn't remember my best friend's birth dates anymore, and it was just all really foggy and I was super jumpy all the time. So that's all I would say, even at this point, is help as many people as you can. And as you serve other people, your heart's just going to get stronger and stronger and stronger and you're going to heal through that.

Welcome to From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. I'm your host, Eric Gilbert Williams, and this is the podcast where we explore personal stories of people who hit absolute rock bottom, then got back up, wiped off the dust, kicked failure to the curb, and now they're rocking it like you'd never believe if you didn't hear it. Live Right here, we cover subjects in business, sports, and life in general. If you like this podcast, please share it. These interviews are intended to inspire, to motivate, to give hope and vision. So please share this episode with someone who needs it. Use your Instagram Account, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn. Hand signals. Trained pigeon sent smoke signals up in the air. Use Morse code, whatever you like. Just share the love and share this episode. Also, email me anytime. Podcastricilbertwilliams. Send me questions you would like to have asked of future guests and I will incorporate them. Or just send me some suggestions on how to run a better podcast. Or just say hello, I'd love to hear from you. That's podcasterrickgilbertwilliams.com I know you're gonna love today's interview, so let's get started with us here today on From Rock Bottom, the Rockin it is Carly Riou. I was introduced to Carly by a mutual friend of ours in the competitive dance space and I got to ask you how you guys met. I forgot to do that earlier. And when Carly shared with me parts of her story and her journey, I knew that you, the listeners of this show, would want to hear the full version. It's powerful and I'm really excited to go into this. Obviously, this is about stories of accomplishment and overcoming big obstacles and today's really no exception to that at all. Now, as you know, I am personally a lifelong entrepreneur. I self identify as that and I literally been obsessed about entrepreneurship since I was a teenager. And Carly identifies as a impact entrepreneur. Now, I had never heard the word impact entrepreneur before. So I looked it up a little bit before the show. And for those of you who do not know, the concept of an impact entrepreneur specifically is it refers to enterprises that set out to make a clear and measurable impact at scale in the social or environmental problems they aim to tackle. Now, Carly is an impact entrepreneur who fights human trafficking through beach bags. And I'm going to let her describe and tell the story and the journey of what this is about and the impact that it's making. Now, not only that, but she's also overcome some of the most serious personal challenges that exist, of which I'm going to let her share in her own words. So without further ado, it's time to introduce our guest to today's show. Carly, how are you doing today? I'm so happy to have you here.

I'm so excited. This is the first time that we've actually managed to sit down and chat fully. And I'm just so stoked on what you're doing, what you're bringing with this show to everybody.

So sometimes when I introduce people on the show and I screw up the name. So before today's show, Carly and I had a little chat and I was like, wait, how do I pronounce your last name? And I was corrected to Rio and I didn't know that was French, actually. And you probably saw my name like, my name is Eric Gilbert. Right. I'm a Gilbert. And when people say Gilbert, it kills me. Right. And my middle name is Gilles. Right, It's Gilles. It's not Gillies, it's Gilles. It's not Eric Gillies Gilbert, it's Eric Gilles Gilbert. Right. And I like that sound. Riou Riot. How is the pronunciation in French technically?

Rio. Rio, I guess. It's really funny what people do with my name though. It can be ruined. It can be Reox. That's a really good one because you have the UX at the end.

Yep, fair enough.

And yeah, I respond to all of them.

It almost sounds like matrixy, like futuristic.

Y. Yeah. The Reox is here.

And you're out in Calgary. Are you? Right?

Yes, born and raised. I don't know where the rest of us went, but there's only about 15 of us left, so.

Well, well, and that's interesting because Calgary has a lot of in migration. Calgary's been a booming place. Is that to say that people born in Calgary leave Calgary and if you weren't born in Calgary, then you moved to Calgary, Is that kind of what you're seeing?

That seems to feel what it is when you find somebody else who's actually born and raised here in a new group, it's like this thing of accomplishment. It's really weird.

How's business, by the way? Tell me about what's going on in the business world right now for you. You know, like, what's going on with sales and marketing and like, what's clientele and coordinating? You got a lot of shipments back and forth. And that was probably impacted by Covid a fair bit, I'd have to guess. So what's happening in the business world?

The business world is complicated right now because when we went to launch after, you know, the whole story and the whole struggle, I was diagnosed with stage three cancer as that was coming about. So all of a sudden I had to do all my launching activities. When I couldn't walk, I couldn't feed myself, you know, and I was on crazy painkillers. So trying to get that all functioning when I wasn't functioning was a whole different thing.

When did that happen?

I was diagnosed on April 6, and we were supposed to launch on April 15, so it totally rocked my world.

Oh, this year.

Yeah. This is all super new.

Wow. This is a subject in and of itself. Or we're talking about. Would you say that that's a rock bottom moment? Oh, you know, is that how you would classify that? Or like, how do I even ask you? How do you interpret that?

I mean, I know, right? It just feels like such an overpowering subject.

Well, it is.

It's absolutely a rock bottom for me in my world because I've always chosen to take big risks and to live really with my heart. There's multiple really big rock bottoms, and I think that's really good for everyone to know. Like, this is something that's going to happen multiple times and you're going to survive each one, and it's okay. But yeah, when they diagnosed me, like, I had, I lived a really healthy life. I was working out in an Olympic gym, I was eating well, and I meditated. I took care of every part of who I was. But cancer is cancer sometimes, and we don't have much say in it. So I got sick about two years ago, and I went from being able to dance, you know, eight hours straight, and I'm not kidding with the straight part, to not being able to do one whole song. And so I went into the doctors, I was like, there's something wrong. And they're just like, well, but dancing one song and taking a break is normal. So you're fine. You're healthy. And I was like, but it's not normal for me. And they did. They ignored me for two full years. I remember crying in people's offices, being like, this is ruining my life. I was like, I would have to pull up a chair to make dinner beside the stove. I couldn't stand anymore. And they thought I was okay. So then on March 15, a cyst burst on my ovaries. And that sent me into the hospital in insane pain. And that's when they found tumors and necrotic tissue. And I'd been poisoning myself for two years.

Wow. Poisoning yourself how?

Yeah, so in like my transverse colon there was dead tissue. So everything that's supposed to stay, you know, super concrete in there because it's toxic was leaking out into the rest of my system. And nobody bothered to run even so much as one proper test to figure that out.

And do you think this is like, now we're touching a little bit on social healthcare versus privatized and good doctors and bad doctors and everything in between. And I struggle with this to find the right proactive solution because in Canada we have and people who are not in Canada and maybe don't know, we have this free healthcare system basically. And it's great in some ways and it's not great in others. All I want to know is that someone's looking at my body, a professional's looking at my body holistically from start to finish and that I don't have to worry about it. Whereas what happens in reality is that there's this backlog and incentive almost, basically an incentive from. It's almost as screwed up as the American jail system where they're paid on volume, right? They're paid on how many people are in cells. And in a doctor's world, to my understanding, from doctors I've spoken with, anyways, there's a volume based pay structure. So the quicker the patients come in and out and the more prescriptions essentially that are written for it and the broader, basically is how they get paid. And so for me, I ended up in an argument with one of my doctors where I had some very specific questions. And my meeting went past four minutes when I was asking these questions and I wasn't done asking my questions, but I could see the doctor had no interest in working with me and I had to reflect on that. Well, I was an M. I think I'm still young. I was young, right? Single male, unsure single male, no dependence, no marital status. Right. No real issues known above surface level of problems or complications. So I'M a low paying client. Right. I'm not a value client for this person and he wanted me out the door. But being healthcare and I'm paying for this in my tax dollars, I didn't let our meeting end. I said, no, I'm paying you, you need to answer my questions. We're not scheduling another appointment. And at the end of the appointment, as I was leaving, the receptionist handed me because I had to pay an extra $20 to get a travel consultation. She gave me my money back and I thought, oh, he's such a nice guy, you know, he's paying me back. Well, I went to schedule my next appointment and I was blacklisted. I'm no longer allowed to be at that clinic at all, ever. In person.

Wow.

Yeah, because I'm a low paying client and I was taking too much of his time and he didn't like it. He didn't like being treated that way and there's nothing that we can do about that. So it is what it is. And to my understanding, I had a friend that was diagnosed with cancer about four years ago and it was terrible for him. He went through chemo and I visited him in the hospital and it was very, very sad. He thought he had two years and then, and time went on and the two years came and went and then we're like, well, what's going on? And then it turned out that in order to be to give a diagnosis of cancer, I guess in his case, I don't know if it's generally applicable, but there had to be 10 doctors that each gave their own answer. So one doctor would get all the research and find the information. They'd put it to a group of doctors and then those doctors would each give their own prognosis. And if the majority concluded that it was cancer based, then it was. And in his case, six of the 10 had said yes, but two had said they're not sure and two had said definitely not. Right. And so, you know, the two years came and went and he's like, well, you know what, I kind of have to talk to these two doctors that said not now and see what the heck this really was. And so I don't know if he actually ended up speaking. I don't know that he was allowed to speak to them one on one. But at the end of the day, it's been four years after his two year time came and went and it may not have been cancer at all. And no one really knows. And that's a bizarre thing. And I wonder if There's a better solution to that. So I don't. I mean, I'm just kind of rambling here. But what are your thoughts on some of that stuff?

It's complicated. Our healthcare system up here is complicated because in theory, it's great. And in acute situations, like, you know, you're in a car wreck or, you know, your mom broke her hip, like all of those things, our system is amazing for.

Yeah, crystal clear.

Yeah. When it comes to, you know, chronic diseases of any kind, we very quickly become just a statistic and we're moved along their conveyor belt at, you know, max speed. Like nobody cared what was happening to me. And that blew my mind because I'm a super, like, fight for my rights, same as you. Sit down, listen to me. What are we going to do about this? And very stubborn. And it didn't help because everyone's like, well, just fight for your, you know, your medical rights. And yes, you have to do that, without a doubt. You have to fight so hard. But as a fighter, as somebody who's super comfortable with confrontation, I couldn't get it done because that's just the bias that it is, and it's exhausting. And I think we do so much damage to people and we don't deal with anything at the baseline. Like when I was diagnosed, you know, my oncologist was fighting for me to take the second chemo drug. Right. And that extra chemo drug came with a bunch of more side effects that are permanent and, you know, increased my life expectancy by like 2%. Right. So it was, it gave me instead of a 68% shot at seeing the next five years, it was a 70% shot. But I asked him about food and, you know, lifestyle and stress, and he's like, oh, those things don't matter. And it's like, you really think that I can't get a 2% better chance just through lifestyle? You know, you don't know anything about the human body. And I talked to, you know, my geneticist and he's like, well, what damages DNA? It's like lifestyle, environment, food. So what we have to do to fight cancer is fix our DNA. So I find that so much of the system is so broken because they are motivated by the wrong things and they, you know, their suicide is ridiculously high among Doctors now, it's 250% higher chance that a female doctor kills themselves than a regular female.

Wow, I had no idea about that statistic. Now, you mentioned dance, and you were dancing eight hours in a row. I think you said, yeah. What kind of dance are we talking about?

Oh, I did pretty much everything. I love to compete. Well, not compete, but I like to show in.

Okay, so that's what I was getting at because we met through a competitive dance. Mutual friend.

Yes.

And I wasn't sure if this is what we're talking about. So tell me about that. What is this? What were you doing?

I just love putting on shows. I've always loved acting and stuff as a kid, but never wanted to be an actor. I really dislike fame. I want nothing to do with it, but I still love to perform. So I started getting into performance dance. And I did everything that has really roots in big cultures, so reggaeton and dance hall and all these really cool things that require a lot of hip movement. That was always my favorite. So. So I did that. We would perform at Junction once a year, most of the time. And then I got into country swing. And that's actually where I ended up making a lot of friends. And it was a big difference from going, like, shaking your ass to, like, this really fluid partner work. So I still love them both. And I was so obsessed. Like, I would work for 12 hours that day and go dance for six that night and do it again the next day. Like, give her. Let's go.

You got me beat. In the height of peak competition season, I would be like, you know, two or three hours practice after work, and I'd be done. I don't know where you found that energy. That's amazing.

I don't know. It was always just like, I'm adhd, and I do wonder if that's part of where that energy can come from is it's the willpower. And then, like, just this really weird Energizer Bunny effect.

Where did you meet John then?

On my back deck.

What? How is that possible?

So we have a downstairs roommate, and he was having some people over, and he said, like, come out. I'll feed you. So I went out to get fed and he was there, and we started chatting. And they just asked me what I was doing for work, and I said, well, I was attacked four times and blah, blah. And it led to this. And he was like, holy shit, you have to talk to Eric.

Okay. And on that note, I think I need to just shut up and let you tell your story, because I think, yeah, it's time. Okay, sounds good. You can start wherever you feel comfortable. You know, listeners, right now we're bouncing on these powerful subjects. And let's put it in chronological order here and go through you know what this is? So it's very hard for me to shut my mouth, but I'll practice and just let you tell your story. The floor is yours.

So I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs, so very similar to what you were saying earlier. Just obsessed with doing it our own way. Kind of anti establishment, not quite full blown hippie, but, you know, walking that line. And I started my first business when I was 6 because we actually grew up super poor. So the venture my dad was doing at the time was not going well. And yeah, so I wanted to bring in grocery money because at six years old I thought my parents couldn't afford me and I would be given away. That's how I kind of internalized that. Which of course was never the case. But as a kid, I then started hustling through my worth right away. And around 13, they made it, you know, my dad, it all finally got traction and shot off and it was great. So we went down to San Diego and they're taking us to SeaWorld before we all knew that was bad, and to Disneyland. But before we could go, my parents said, like, we want to teach you a lesson. So they drove us across the border into Tijuana. And you have to keep in mind this was, you know, getting close to 25 years ago now. And no, I'm not that old. Sixteen years ago, my bad. And they wanted us to see like, yes, you guys grew up in Canadian poverty, but that is very different than poverty. So we went across and there is just slums and garbage and really unhappy people. And as a kid you can always feel these things. Right? Right. Because we're so much more in tune with our environment than we are as adults. When we were waiting for the border agents, there was a little girl who approached my vehicle and she was selling roses with her baby sister in her arms. And she couldn't be older than me. And I'm looking at her and I could not get over how much older she felt than me and how unhappy she looked. And I knew that she would have to do this again tomorrow when me and my brother were going to Disneyland. And I was just sickened by the fact that this three mile stretch somehow completely dictated her reality. And from there I knew I never wanted to be helpless in helping again. So that was what that trip really taught me. And you know, I left the country that day, but she never left me. She's been a driving force for me ever since. And then my mom kind of compacted it with her whole mantra of your only job Here is to leave the world a little better than how you found it. So everything kind of was based around that. And I got through high school. Barely. I did not like high school. I did not like schooling.

You made it further than I did. Then.

I dropped out of grade nine, and then I dropped out of grade 12. But I did go back and I was valedictorian that year because, I don't know, I guess I was like, well, if I have to do it, I guess I'll do it, right? But, yeah, I just hated it. But I loved learning. Like, I would take out university textbooks to read in class instead of working on my class material. So, yeah, I just loved that. And then at 18, I was attacked. A friend of mine, you know, asked me to come out. I was a big motorhead because my dad owned a dealership. So I was working on like all these muscle cars all the time. And I met up with him and I just had like that weird gut feeling and I thought it was nerves because, you know, he was cute or something. I. I didn't know what it was yet. And so he said, hey, you'd, like, want to go for a ride? Like, I'll show you with the performance piece. I was like, okay. So we got in and he, within five minutes, turned off onto a dark parking lot and tried to attack me, tried to rape me. And I just remember being like, this can't be happening. Like, what is happening? He's my friend, you know, I'm not very far from my truck. Like, I was perfectly safe 10 minutes ago. So I did end up fighting him off and made my way back to my vehicle on foot, which was an adventure and a half just by itself. And I didn't tell anyone for a really long time because I thought I had done something wrong. Like, I clearly, this was my fault. And that became the beginning of kind of my victim energy. And I'll get into that in a bit here. But I did not know I had changed the language that my energy talked, I guess is the best way to put it, because at 19, I was attacked again. And this time it was by one of my father's friends. You know, he was helping me start another business. I was 19. We were going off to our first, you know, business meeting. So I felt all powerful and, you know, top shit, because what are we doing here? And we went out to this really high end bar and I talked to the really incredible people and we were on our way home and he was like, well, I promised your dad, like, I'd Take care of you. So he walked me to my hotel door, which set off that same feeling. And sure enough, he forced his way into my hotel room and I just went like, dead. Still. This one I didn't fight, like, because I find that when you struggle, when a man is in that position, it sets something off. And I don't know, you know, really the psychology behind that other than the prey drive, basically. So I went super calm and I actually managed to talk my way out of that one because I don't think he was really dedicated to it yet. I think he didn't want much of a struggle. And when there was, he did back off. And I called my dad that night and I bawled and I can't imagine that poor man, the many times I have called him. Like, I'm in a scary alleyway. I don't know how I got here or because I travel solo a lot, right? So I call him and be like, well, I took a wrong turn and now, you know, I'm slowly walking over, like passed out bodies on the street and I don't know where I am and I'm going to get shanked.

The wonders of being a parent, right? The joys of being a parent and watching their offspring go and travel and experience the world. I'm going to go experience the world, right? Don't worry, it'll be fine.

Yeah, it'll be great, I promise.

Two in the morning, phone calls. Danger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My dad has at least 70% of his gray hair just for me. And my brother's a handful too, but it's really my fault.

I'm sure that he appreciates every moment of it too, though. I mean, I don't have any kids and I don't.

Yeah, he gets anxiety.

Yeah. And like my mom's same thing. Like she's, you know, we didn't talk for years. Roughly a year and a half, almost two. When I quote, unquote, ran away and every stress in her life, I could just, I could feel it.

Like, I'm so sorry I did that to you.

I don't understand the psychology either. I mean, this is a friend of your dad's. Like, he knows it's not going to end well ever. There's just no possibility of his own friend, your father, not finding out at some point. And it leaves me pretty speechless to try. And I always try to understand other people's positions and maybe some bad things happen to him, I don't know. But like, nothing that I can compute really adds up or justifies or Makes sense on how a motivation ever existed strong enough to act on and emboggle there.

And it is. It's always trauma. Somebody took their power away at some point, and now they are literally walking through the world trying to. Trying to get that power back. Instead of dealing with their own shit and their own shadow work, they're just projecting out into the world and trying to find ways to make themselves feel better. So it's not really about hurting the other person. They don't think in those terms. It's that they're actually extremely broken. And I have so much empathy for the men who attacked me because I know that they are so lost, and that that depth of loss is brutal. And there's so much that we can do as a society to get ahead of that, I think. And a big part of it is to stop with this toxic masculinity shit about don't show your emotions and just be strong all the time. And I think we've done our men such a disservice and then turned around and expected so much more from them.

This is a completely side tangent. Are you a Netflix binger? I'm a Netflix Bingerman. I find a show that I get excited about. I just watch it until it's over. There's a show called the Boys on Amazon Prime. Have you by chance watched any of it? No.

No.

Okay, well, I won't go into it too far, but the point is the beginning, at the. Very early at the onset of the show, there's a guy, you know, a complete asshole, who sexually takes advantage of a woman, and he's one of the main characters. So, you know, we're like, okay, well, what's going on here? And where is this gonna go? Well, where it's gone. Oh, geez. This will be a total spoiler for anyone who hasn't watched it, but I'll just spoil this. One little thing is that he ends up losing everything and becoming. He goes to his rock bottom, and it's kind of like a side part of the show. It's only like two minutes per episode to kind of show his life in this rock bottom. And he's gone through this deep, personal journey to explore the trauma and the pain that was inside of him that led to him being a disgraceful human being, basically. And in the last episode, he's been facing this. He went on a spiritual journey, and he's talking to himself, you know, his mirror self, the actual him that's a good person that has been suppressed, talking to the disgraceful human that he's been living as for 20 years. And they're having this powerful con and he breaks down, he's crying, and it's obviously it doesn't make anything okay, but it's the first time I've seen that incorporated on a mainstream show sort of on the side. And I don't know where it's going to go because, I mean, I haven't finished. But it's exploring this and you know, this show, this show here from rock bottom, the rockin it. I'm hoping that by talking about these things, other people find the courage to talk about things that they're experiencing as well. When you said the first time you were attacked, you didn't tell anyone for a long time there's been other people on the show who, both male and female, who have also been attacked and similarly can't talk about it for a while. And when you do what you're doing right now and find that courage inside you, because I think it is a display of courage. Brave is visible. You know, things. Acts of bravery are like jumping in front of a car to save someone. But courage to me is the inner work. It's the deeper. Well, I don't mean to compare it, but it is the inner personal work that am I going to allow myself to be vulnerable? And that's to me, what courage is about.

Oh, and we struggle so deeply.

So I appreciate what you're doing and the strength you have.

Oh, thank you, Eric. We struggle so deeply with that vulnerability. You know, when I first started talking about the attacks, because there was four in total that I count, and then there was more that didn't hit like the same traumatic level. But when I started talking about it, all of a sudden all these other women and some men started telling me about it and it's like, wow, if you just lead with this vulnerability, then you're giving a space for other people to lead with theirs and they know it's safe and then they get to, you know, heal just that extra little piece. And I always say that I think that if you're helping other people heal, you're healing you. And the other thing with trauma, I do want to say is that it's super important that if you're sitting there and you know that you're doing really messed up behaviors and you don't know where they're coming from, you don't know why, you know you're angry or you talk to your spouse that way, or, you know, it can be little things, it can be big things that Trauma doesn't have to be the worst thing that's ever happened to somebody. You know, it doesn't have to be. You were, you know, assaulted every day as a child for 10 years. It can be your parent didn't respond to enough bids for affection. You know, they can be very small things that are still very traumatic to kids and even now. So I think that, you know, one of my stories was, well, they didn't rape me. They didn't succeed in that, so I should just be great. So I'll move on. It doesn't change the fact that somebody took my safety away from me, my power away from me. You know, the last attack was I was actually healing from a divorce. I got married super young. I was raised Catholic, so it's like, this is what we do. And I ended up with, you know, a narcissist. And he was very damaging to me. I didn't remember who I was at all. You know, I remember making my first joke outside of the relationship in the room. Laughed. I was like, holy shit, I'm funny. Oh, my God, I forgot. So things like that were just wild. So I thought, okay, that's it. I'm going on a road trip. Because I needed to remember my power and to step into the fact that I could take care of myself. So I packed up my Jeep. With no warning, I decided a Thursday night I was going. Friday morning I left, and I was just going to sleep in the back of my Jeep. So I did. I did about 33 days. I met a million beautiful people along the way. People, you know, let me stay on their land. They. They fed me. They let me stay in their homes. They brought in, you know, family dinners. I just met Americans straight across the western sphere here, and it was beautiful. And when I got to Palm Springs, I was so sore from sleeping in a Jeep and, you know, driving all day by myself, I was like, all right, I'm going for a massage. I'm doing this thing. And despite all the, you know, harassment and assaults that I had experienced, I was really proud of the fact that I didn't hold all men accountable for that. So I researched the spa. I let my mom know where I was. Because now you're traveling alone. I did have a Taser because it's, you know, the usa, and I was sleeping in a car, so I did have that. And when the receptionist asked if I was okay with a male massage therapist, I was like, yes, because I trust men, and I'm not letting my shit get in the way of that. So I went and the first 45 minutes was totally fine. And then he flipped me over and I was being assaulted. And it happened that fast. And that one really screwed me up because I had chosen to trust, you know, I wasn't letting my jadedness get in the way of something. I had a taser that was, you know, four feet too far away from me. And I had done everything right. I'd researched the place, I told my mom, I had, you know, learned from my experiences. I had done my trauma release, like I did everything. And I was attacked again. And that shook me. That really messed me up.

I can't even imagine.

And that's where I ended up learning about this whole bitumen energy language that you, you speak. They did a study and I can't remember exactly the statistic that they came up with, but they put a bunch of women in a room and they mixed them with people who had been attacked and people who had not. And then they brought in rapists and they put them up along the wall and they had them pick out who had been attacked and who hadn't. And they had like a high 90s percent accuracy rate. It was terrifying. As soon as they, these women had been attacked once, there was a certain vibe, a certain way they held themselves, a certain way they felt about themselves that was, I don't know, it was very clear for them to see. And that's terrifying.

Lifetime impactful, right?

Because then it keeps happening. And that's how, you know, I was on a date once and I told them, you know, this happened to me and they asked me if I was a prostitute because clearly I was doing something to create this. And I've thought about it like, clearly there's something wrong. And then you have these stupid thoughts like, you know, how are you dressing? Or where are you going? Are you going out alone at night? Just all this ridiculous stuff. So I came home and I was, you know, healing in my apartment. I was kind of ignoring it. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't know why my memory was going. You know, I couldn't remember my best friend's birth dates anymore. And it was just all really foggy and I was super jumpy all the time. And I ended up getting work in an industry that I'd been in for, for a really long time, on and off. And I was warned when I took the job that, hey, you know, this is an old boys club, like, heads up. And because I'd always been in male dominated stuff, photography or cars or whatever. I was like, oh, no worries. Like, I can. I can handle myself. And I was really good at putting boundaries down. And these men took it and ran. I could not believe the things that I went through there. I would walk in and the men would be talking about who was going to take me first in a gang bang. They would talk about, like, what they were going to do to my photos later that day. They would just. The things they said to me. They would show me videos or send me songs about men raping women. And it's. It was. So I went. Obviously, I. I would say things in the moment. I would. I went to management, where I was told, well, if you weren't so cool, this wouldn't happen to you. That was their response. And when I left there, I actually did launch a lawsuit. And during that lawsuit, I realized I had ptsd, because at that point, I was starting to work on the ak, which is the beach bags. And I was sitting down with my designer, and she was like. All the things I was saying, she's like, this is ptsd. You know that, right? And I was like, excuse me, it's what. And I was able to get diagnosed that way.

Eric here. I hope you're enjoying the episode today. This is a passion project that I put together. I really wanted to do this. I really want to help people out there, and I had so many people reach out to me when I was younger and when I was having a tough time and struggling. I've written a book about it. You can check it out on my website. Please do. But most importantly, reach out to me. Give me some feedback. What could I do better with this podcast? What am I doing that I should stop? What am I not doing that I should do? Tell me your experience. Give me some tips and suggestions. I really want to design this to suit your needs. And all you got to do is send me an email. It's Ericerichrich gilbertwilliams.com or use the contact me button that you'll find on my website. Just send me an email. We'll have a phone call or we'll chat online. Doesn't really matter. I would love to hear from you and figure out how to make this show even better with your help. So please reach out and don't be shy. When I went to the States last year and lived there for most of the year, it was the first time I was really exposed to racism. I'd never really seen that in Canada anywhere to the degree that that the George Floyd situation and tragedy triggered And I was naive. And as a male, I mean, I was in construction for 12 years, so some pretty rough guys as well. But I've never been exposed to men who have that view towards women to this degree that you're talking about. It's never been something that I've personally experienced. And I think that other people that are listening to the show and maybe relate to me in that and that we don't know. We don't know anyone personally that would treat another human being like that, whether it's male or female. But of course, it touches me because I'm male and these are males doing this to females. I didn't realize the degree. I mean, you're triggering this thought here that I'm probably naive in this realm as well. I had no idea that it went. It just doesn't happen here. Oh, I know it's out there. It's in Hollywood, but it doesn't happen, you know, around me. We're in the same city, so this is really close to home right now. And I guess I was just really naive and ignorant about this. You're opening my eyes to what else is happening out there, which is. And I hope for other people out there on the show as well. You know, there was this. Did you hear about the Boy Scouts United States lawsuit that just got settled? It was $150 million. 64,000 Boy Scouts came forward with cases of sexual assault, and it's been a lawsuit going on for a long time, and now it's been settled, and I don't know what the consequences. Right. 64,000 people came forward. I've clearly been naive and ignorant in that regard.

That makes me sick. It's one of those things. And you're far from alone. You know, we never think that it's here because it's not our reality. I know even my male family members have had a hard time with accepting that this was reality. You know, I know they also had those questions about, you know, what am I? What was I doing wrong? Or what are they not seeing? So you are far from alone in that. And we never think these things are happening if they're not in our immediate reality. Even the men in my family had a hard time understanding what was going on with me, and they had a hard time understanding why I had PTSD from it, because they've just never been scared to walk to their car. They've never been scared, like, oh, it's after 11. Like, I can't go anywhere now. These are just thoughts that never crossed most men's minds. And I don't blame them for that. It's not their world, so I get it. But it is really important because I do think it's men that will also change this. You know, if you're hanging out with a bunch of your friends and somebody says that off kiltered comment that, you know, just feels a little off, that person is checking in to see if this is acceptable. Right. If they can get away with this, that becomes escalation and I do think contributes to acting on it. So if they said those comments and all the guys in that group go, what the fuck are you doing? Excuse my language, then that I think would start to change how that all looks. And as for also never thinking that it's here, I mean, when I was in Nepal, I found out Nepal, Kathmandu has a super similar population to us here. And when I was there, I learned that 60,000 girls were currently being trafficked in that city every day. When I came home to Calgary, I found out it was 10,000. 10,000 in Calgary are being trafficked. It's like, what do you mean that happens here? Like, we have our, you know, more stuff put together. We have programs, we have this, we have that. Like, that can't be happening here. But it's just as bad here as it is across the globe.

I didn't know that either. And what do we do about it?

Oh, that is a super deep conversation.

Because you're doing something about it.

Yeah, yeah. So it depends on which stage because I really like dealing with the root causes of these issues. But we also need Band Aid solutions while we fix root problems. You know, so when you're looking, let's say hunger, you have to have food banks, you have to have stamps, you have to have programs of aid in order to deal with whatever's happening. But if you're not looking at, well, why are we hungry? Then you're not actually dealing with anything. Right. So they have to work in tandem. In Nepal, where most of my work is, I'm more familiar with why it happens there. One of the biggest things is that there's no work. So now this family has these daughters and their roof is caving in. So they sell the, you know, the first one in order to provide for the other three. So that's part of it. Another part is vulnerability. So here it's, you know, you're really working with girls, especially in, oh, what is the system where they give children up to the system, like orphanage, foster care.

Okay, yeah.

So when they're in that foster care system. They're ripe for this kind of abuse. It is absolutely rampant. Whether they're running off, it's often like girls their age that are recruiting them, all those kind of things and then they get them hooked on drugs and move on. When in Nepal, those families are often told that they're being sold into something that's like a good job. You know, they're going to go into America and be a maid. They're going to go to America and do, you know, executive work. Like they're told and promised that the families are going to get stipends and their daughter is going to have good work. And then they're taken from that village and immediately trafficked. So we have to deal with ways to create money for these families. And one of my partners in nepal, they're called 514. If you're going to Nepal, I highly recommend staying with them. They're incredible. They're a bed and breakfast and a trekking company. So they took me up into the Himalayas to meet these women and to meet these villagers that had this happen. And they actually managed to chase out traffickers in this whole region because they brought so much tourism dollars into the area that they didn't need to do it anymore. So they brought tourism and education and once everybody knew what that actually meant, they stopped selling their girls. So when I was there, there was no girls between the age of like 7 and 22. So they had their older women still, but they, they hadn't sold their 7 year olds, they hadn't sold their 6 year olds because the average age of selling is between 5 and 14, which is where that, that name for that organization comes from. So all of a sudden you could see like these girls were showing up and growing up and not being sold just because there was actual income in the area.

And this is a segue into what you're doing. I'd love to hear about your business and your model, the impact it's having. Because I want to ask you. Ultimately, we talked a lot about these deep, important subjects and I mean, there's a light inside of you. I can see your energy. You're a happy person.

Yeah.

And you bring positive energy where you go. Right. I could see that. It's very clear. So you have rocking it moments. You have moments that are of triumph, of overcoming. And part of this is related to your business and part of it might be related to other things as well. Let's dive into that. I'm actually really curious to hear more about how this business model works. I Know that you were inspired by it when you went to Nepal. And that's about all I know so far. So I'm going to again, try really hard to not interrupt you. And please tell me about what this business is about and how it works and where you're at and the success moments. Like, maybe let's start right there. What's the absolute best rocking it moment you've had so far? In the subject of. Well, we've talked about a few subjects here. We've talked about, you know, diseases, cancer, we've talked about sexual assault, and we're also talking about trafficking. What would you say is your rockin it moment? Like, and maybe there's one for each. You know, you found your confidence again or you made an impact and you heard back from one of the kids that you were helping. Yeah. Anyways, take the floor from that one. Well, what's your rocking it moments?

Man? It's funny, in this particular line of business, your rocking it moments are also just filled with heartbreak. So they feel really weird. One of the top ones was definitely when I got to go to Nepal and I went to the manufacturer. And the way we make our bags is by working with a manufacturing partner who hires survivors of human trafficking, survivors of extreme exploitation and marginalization. So they work with people who really deserve to have good, safe work in order to get their lives back. And to be in that building and to be working on this bag, that part of me didn't feel like I had any right to even be there. I wasn't a designer. I had no fashion background. My first Google was like, ooh, the difference between cotton and polyester. Like, I have no idea what I'm doing.

I love that, by the way. That's. That's entrepreneurship in a nutshell. Let's just do it.

You just sort it out as you go. Like, Google's your friend, you'll be fine. And yeah, I'm sitting there and I'm working on this bag on this table across the globe and I have this global supply chain and you know, the women are walking around me and we are having lunch and they're. I know what their background is and I know what they're. How they're going to move forward. And they get, you know, through that partner, they get daily training. So they have life training in the day or the morning and then they work in the afternoon. So they're getting basically all the therapy and the skills to reintegrate while, like, leaving and entering the world with a skill that they can make money. With. And I just find it such a beautiful system that they've created there. And the women were happy and they're giggling and they're empowered. And that's always been my thing is I never wanted to give charity. Well, like I give to charity and I do think that there's an absolute spot for it. My mission was not to give charity, it was to give work, it was to create jobs, it was to create an economy that can support so that they have, you know, their dignity, they have choice, they have anonymity, they get to choose their lives. Instead of like, okay, here's, you know, a couple cans of, you know, whatever and I'll see you next week. I wanted to make sure that they were empowered to change their lives. That was a really big, oh, hell yeah. This is what's up. This is what I want to do. Holy shit, let's do it.

And with the business in Nepal, how did that get started? Like, I mean, you're googling, you're figuring out this product stuff. How did you organize across border and I guess you have partners out there and how did you find your first women to hire and what sort of feedback are you getting from them?

Yeah, so it was complicated when I first started because you have to remember the reason I started this was because I had PTSD. So the rock bottom in that was I was 25 to 26, living in my parents basement. I was divorced. I had just like stopped rolling with a motorcycle club because I went through this wild phase where, well, clearly early marriage didn't work. Maybe I'll try the bad girl thing and see how that goes. I don't recommend it.

You're an extremist like me.

Don't recommend it. It wasn't great. So I was just sitting there in the basement like completely lost for who I was. Had no idea what I was going to do next and super messed up. I couldn't go to the library, I couldn't have anyone walk behind me. I couldn't maintain eye contact anymore. Like all these things that I was so vibrant about before, I was just an empty husk. So really, really lost. And when I started researching my PTSD and the trauma and why women don't speak up, and I've always had a really heavy interest in psychology. So that kind of led me down that research rabbit hole which quickly led into human trafficking because that's, you know, more of what they've studied and things like that. And then I was in the kitchen one morning and my mom comes in bright and early. And she doesn't say, good morning. She just says, I fucking hate them. And I was like, good morning to you, too. Like, what is causing such consternation first thing in the morning? And she said, beach bags. They're just a big bowl of suck. And I laughed and I made a cocky comment, it's okay, Mom. Start a whole company to fix them for you. Don't worry about it. And I just carried on, right? It was a joke. And I started thinking about it. I'm like, wow. Like, we're avid travelers where we've been everywhere. And she had been looking in all these countries for months, so maybe there was something there. And I was serving tables at the time. So then I started being like, yeah, here's your salad. And by the way, do you mind asking some. Answering some questions for me? And I found out that women actually really did hate their beach bags. It was a legitimate problem. So I started looking into it, and I went for lunch with a friend, and I was like, should I do it? And he was like, well, yeah, why wouldn't you? So I did, and I started Googling. And I ended up finding something called the Common Objective. And they're a hub for ethical fashion to get together and create really good stuff that does no harm. And that's how I ended up finding Purna, which is my manufacturing company. And at first I was just gonna, like, you know, employ the women and give 20% of the profits and be done with it. And I went to this conference called sbi. It's a social venture institute, and it's all people who are using business for impact. And I was, you know, explaining what I was doing, and this guy sat me down, and he's like, I don't believe you. And I was a little taken aback, right? My ego kind of flared up. I was like, what don't you believe? And he's like, that. That's all you can do. Like, you can just do more. More good, More impact, more. Do more. And he was almost, like, mad with me. And I left that meeting being like, oh, like, what the hell does he know? Blah, blah, blah. Like, I was just totally having an ego reaction to it. And I sat with it for a couple days, and I was like, holy shit, he's right. And over three weeks, I completely revamped the entire business model. So that looks like, you know, we now create jobs pulling plastic out of the oceans to create offset environmentally. We hire completely emerging artists so that they're being paid properly for their work before they have their big name. Because I don't know why we don't pay artists better. We should. So we did that. We did, you know, all recycled and recyclable materials for packaging and all that kind of stuff. We created a fund that supports the Drop in center in Nepal. So they were on the brink of shutdown when I was there. And so we created a fund and now we support all their programs. Right. And we did that personally because obviously we're just getting launched now. So they've already been supported for 15 months. We've removed 15,000 bottles so far from the ocean. We have 3,000 hours of safe work for the survivors of exploitation. You know, there's just so many different cool things that we could create. And then that was about bringing in other partnerships so that, you know, you can Collaboration, I think brings in a lot of impact as well.

And you are making an impact now. You like measured out and quantified the impact you're making.

Yeah, I'm a big nerd end of day. So I wanted to see what those numbers actually end up looking like. But it's nothing like talking to the women and knowing that life is getting better for them, you know. And then we started sending their kids to schools. Now we cover 80% of the parents cost to send the kids in because that starts to break the cycle of violence and they know better and oh, it's just so ridiculously fulfilling.

Can you share a story? If I said to you which of the stories you've heard, which of the women that have come to you and said you had a positive impact on them, which of them comes to mind first and what did they say to you?

She was adjacent to what I was doing. She's the one that actually stands out. So she runs the Drop in center in Kathmandu, Nepal. And when we got there as part of a justice tour and it was basically, that's just a really fancy word of saying, I'm going to show you the worst of the worst on, you know, while we walk through the city. So a local took me out and we did this phenomenal tour where she showed us how their government actually exploits the men and then how the men exploit the women. And it shattered me. Like I was walking past where the women were being sold and kept and you know, you could just feel the despair floating on, you know, the air particles and it was just crushing. And at the end of that tour they took us into the Drop in center and you know, this woman started sharing her story and I just couldn't believe it. You know, she was stolen with 300 other girls. She was taken into India. And I can't remember exactly how it went down anymore precisely. So I don't want to do her story like an injustice, but the way I remember it is 300 of them were taken. They were being held and they had done one. Like these 300 women had revolted and they just killed a bunch of them outright. So they were then starting to be trafficked and whatnot, and they revolted again and they actually, a bunch of them escaped. And when the governments found out about it, Nepal didn't actually want those women back. They didn't want to bring them back to Nepal because they were scared of an STI outbreak. So they completely abandoned all these women and a bunch of, you know, NGOs ended up stepping in and they were rehomed all across Asia and given the treatment that they needed. But just to, you know, have their government fail them so badly and then to turn their backs on them after that failure was mind blowing. And she had been out for, you know, 10 or 12 years and she was still sitting there sobbing about what happened to her. And, you know, she said, like, what we were doing mattered because, you know, what we're working on currently is more the aftermath because everybody has to work on different things. And that's always something that I find very important, is that you don't have to care about everything. You just don't. You can, you know, see that whatever. You know, healthcare in Zimbabwe is struggling. You can see that the Syrians need help. You can see all this stuff and still only pick the thing that matters to you because. Because there's somebody else out there who was born and designed to care about the Syrians or the healthcare crisis in Zimbabwe. So if you don't, it's okay. And I think that's really important. Permission to have. Because we're just expected now to care about everything all the time and have unprecedented access to this information that it's ridiculously overwhelming. So I do like to point that out.

Wow, that's such a powerful story. You're physically working and talking with people who were trafficked and escaped. That's so powerful. And it leaves me pretty speechless because, you know, in my first world, problems seem so much like first world problems at that point. If I were to loop back for a second, there's listeners on the show that have either seen or experienced sexual assault and they're working through it, right? And they're at various stages of success or challenge trying to do that. Now I'm making An assumption that you found your strength again and you found your peace and you found. I'm making these assumptions because to me you radiate with a whole bunch of positive energy. So I guess I have to qualify. Am I assuming correctly or incorrectly?

100% correctly. Through my work. I do think my company saved me in a lot of different ways. I think it saved my life because being able to be of service to other people really did do so much healing for me. So yes, I would classify myself as really quite healed over in.

What do you say to people who are going through the healing process?

Oh, that it's okay that you are just broken and shattered. Yeah, I'm going to get emotional that the shame is not yours. That is not baggage that you should carry any longer. You need to put that shame and kick it right outside your house because it's not, it's. It does not belong to you. And I think that talking about it because the last thing you're going to feel like doing is talking about it. And that's where the guilt and the shame and the terrible stories that we tell ourselves about why you might have deserved this or what have you all come to flourish. And whereas if you are talking to, you know, your best friend or you're talking on a stage about this, you are taking the darkness away from it. You're taking the shame can't exist when light is shown on these things. And then you realize that you're nowhere near alone like this. One in three women are raped more every. Everybody's harassed. I've never met a woman who hasn't been harassed and made to feel unsafe. So you are part of a community that has you and there is no shame in what happened to you. And however you're dealing with it is okay. And no matter what, your journey ends up looking like you're going to be fine.

Thank you for sharing that. It's probably means more to people listening than either you or I will probably ever find out.

I hope so.

If I switch back to entrepreneurship for a second. You know, entrepreneurship is this. It's a beast, it's a roller coaster. And you know, I've been through some deep, deep, you know, I gotta say mental health problems in rock bottom moments in the challenges that entrepreneurship springs up. And I've also had some of the best memories I've ever experienced in this journey at the same time and for people that are listening, who are entrepreneurial at heart, or maybe they've listened to one of my episodes, maybe this episode, and are thinking about Doing something in the world of entrepreneurship. I'm wondering about your perspective from the impact. So the social impact entrepreneurship angle. What do you say to someone who's listening to this show right now and they're thinking, you know what? I want to do something. I want to have an impact. I want to build a business that helps people. And they may not know where to get started, or they may not have any entrepreneurial blood in their system at all, or maybe they. Maybe they have tons of it. But what do you say to people that are thinking about. They're inspired by your story about making an impact and changing the world for the better in an entrepreneurial fashion? What do you say to them?

Oh, there's so many things to say there.

Is it literally, right?

It's like, oh, no, I need, like a whole lecture for this. Yeah. The first thing is that you really want to solve somebody's problem. Okay. So you have to. Business won't work unless you. You look at this as a business. And I think that's the part that people can really get blurry with in impact entrepreneurship. It's like, well, I'll just create this bracelet. No one will ever wear it. They don't even like it. But the money goes to the sea or turtles or, you know, what have you. And while there's nothing wrong with it, I do think that the new wave of business to really get on the world's to do list is to create products that your actual customers, your clients need. So that would be step one, find that hole, figure out what somebody's doing, and then do it better. And then when it comes to the impact side, you want to realize, you know, how do you want to make people feel? You know, so for us, it was. I wanted them to feel free and in their own power. So that doesn't look like giving them, you know, money every couple of weeks or whatever. That looks like helping them build a new life. So I would always ask how you want your beneficiaries to feel, what you want your beneficiaries life to look like. And then from there, you look at every piece of your business model and you figure out how you do more, every one of them. And at times, like, if you're just starting out and you're putting this all on paper, it's going to feel really daunting. So keep in mind, you do not have to do all these steps at the same time. You can, you know, have your plan and then be transparent with it with your customers, man. Like, all right, this is where we're heading. This is where we're at now. We know we can do more, but we can't, like, afford to do more right now. I could have my bags probably. Oh, God. Done for maybe 60%, maybe 70% of the cost of what I they cost right now. But that doesn't matter because we know what we're doing, we know why we're doing it. So it is about finding that balance of. All right? Run a successful business where the numbers make sense so that that money is always consistent. Because that's the problem with charity. It's not consistent funds. Right. So if you can create that on the business side and then find your goals, figure out what's most important to you for the impact you want to have and have your stretch goals and then get to work. Don't think about it forever. Don't wait until you're prepared. You won't be prepared. And even when you are prepared, the entrepreneur world is going to be like, here's something you never thought about and it's going to throw you for a spin. So don't worry about it and just do it.

Well, how do people find your venture and reach out to you, perhaps? So what would you suggest? Maybe a LinkedIn profile or do you have a website that you want to. You would direct people towards?

Uh, yeah, you can reach me pretty much anywhere. Uh, my tag is the same straight across the board because nobody's named Carly Rio, so it's super easy. Um, and I'm absolutely willing to connect with anybody who wants to talk about a venture they want to start up. I will absolutely get on the phone with you and help you sort that out. So. So LinkedIn is great. And then my website is theak.com and you can reach me through there too. And I'll always respond.

And how do I spell that? Thea K. Is that Thea K?

Yeah. So Thea is actually the sun goddess in Greek mythology. And K means small sandy island. So the name loosely translates to sun and sand, but it's spelled T H E A C A Y E and then dot com.

Cool. We'll put that into the show notes of the episode so people can find it really easily.

Perfect.

I have to assume there's people that are listening that want to reach out at some point or at least check out what you're doing to learn more about it. So we'll definitely put that in the show notes so it's easy to find.

Appreciate that.

And as always, I could always keep talking on and on, but how do we wrap into a pretty package the next steps. You know, if you were to talk to yourself at the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey and give yourself a little piece of advice, but then you're seeing that you can actually make it, possibly a really big impact, you get this huge motivation. You don't know where to get started, you don't know how to get started. There's a lot of fear and all that kind of stuff. What would you say to yourself when you're just getting started there in that entrepreneurial journey? You have 60 seconds. I'm talking like hot tub, time machine stuff. You go back in time and you can speak to yourself back then with a simple two sentence thing. What would you say to yourself?

I would say, I think I would just confirm that I was on the right path. That would be the main thing. Like just go. And I can't stress that enough. I know it sounds very basic, but it is just about doing. You can't think your way through these things. It's about doing and then feeling and adjusting and moving. So that's all I would say even at this point is help as many people as you can. And as you serve other people, your heart's just going to get stronger and stronger and stronger and you're going to heal through that.

Healing goes both ways.

It sure does. And realizing that it's the small things in life, right? It really is. When you are talking about impact, you know, if you don't even want to start a business and you just want to have that little bit better impact in your world, you're voting with your dollars, right? Check out who you're buying from all the time. Find out, are they telling you where these products are coming from? Do they have any certifications whatsoever? Are they talking about having an actual impact in the world or are they just in it for their money? Right. And that will. It's super apparent on people's websites. So if you can make little adjustments into creating a world where you're voting with the products you buy as the world that you want, then shit, things are going to look better.

Carly, I really appreciate your energy and your courage to share so much of a powerful story today. I really appreciate your time and I hope we stay in touch too. We're local, basically.

So I was about to say we should actually just go out for lunch.

We probably should. I mean, now that, now that the restrictions are lifted up, we can actually do that. We can go for lunch, go for coffee. So let's stay in touch and reach out anytime. There's any way that I can help you, just please feel free to do that. And to everyone listening, remember to keep moving forward. Remember all the words in this episode, the wisdom that Carly is sharing with us. Moving forward, finding your inner strength, finding the courage to speak. And the only ask I have of you guys and girls is to just share this episode with someone that you feel needs to hear it. If you know someone that is related to any of these topics that we covered today, please share it with them. It's the only ask I have. There's no sponsors for this show. I don't make any money at it. I like to do it. It's my way. It's my little way of having a social impact and I enjoy it a lot. And so the only ask I have of you guys is to just share it with someone who you feel would benefit by the messages that Carly has shared today. So on that note, I want to thank everyone for tuning in. We'll see you next time on from rock Bottom to Rockin it. And until then, have a rockin it day. And that's it, my friends, for this episode. We will see you next time. Please send me an email, say hello, give me some feedback, let me know what you think, give me some tips and suggestions. I'd love to hear from you. Also, please share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, doesn't matter. Just get it out there there. I really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on From a rock bottom to rocking it. Have a rocking it.