Brendan Kane explains why people ignore those who try too hard to impress. When you overexplain, spotlight yourself, or give unsolicited advice, you signal low self-worth and hidden motives. People withdraw because you're focused on yourself, not them.
This is why people ignore you, why you get treated like you don't even exist. There's a painful observation from the writer Robert Greene. He says, when you show yourself too eager to please, people assume you have no value. And what he means is that when you try to impress other people, you signal that you're not impressed with yourself. You overexplain ideas, you spotlight yourself in the wrong context, adding nothing valuable to the conversation. And when you do this, everyone can see that you have a hidden motive. People can see that you crave more attention than you're actually worth. Maybe you try to help other people or give them advice before checking if they even need it. You might think that you're being nice, but your need to be seen will often result in people leaving. Not because you were cruel, not because you said the wrong thing, but because you only see yourself and not the other person in front of you.
