Brendan Kane breaks down an Alice Walker quote: someone respects your growth if you don't have to shrink, censor yourself, hide good news, or soften your opinions around them. If you're doing those things, the relationship is draining you, not just wasting time.
Here's how you know someone is not wasting your life. And this is a simple line from Alice Walker who wrote, "No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow." Basically what this means is someone can love having you in their life, but that doesn't mean they love you as an individual. They're only worth your time if you don't have to make yourself smaller to stay close to them. You can tell because you're not monitoring your tone, your words, or their reaction. You're not hiding your good news because you're afraid they'll get weird. You're not softening your opinions just to keep the peace. That's the real sign. Because the wrong person doesn't always waste your time by leaving. Sometimes they waste your time by making you abandon yourself while they stay. Someone is worth your time when being around them doesn't slow your growth. It makes you braver, clearer, and more fully yourself.
