Do The Work! Unstoppable Motivation to Get Things Done

You know what everybody really wants? They want to feel the day again. Defeat or discipline? Discipline. Keep going, kid, come on. And I see the love of my life sleeping under the weight of my bills. And it was just like, Who's having a good time today in la, ladies and gentlemen? I knew, no matter what, I could learn through the difficulties of life. I could read books, I could ask other people. I got so much mentorship from the people around me by going, hey, how do you deal with things when you feel bad? How do you deal with this when you had a bad relationship? How do you deal with and learning that develops your skill sets about dealing with life. Things got better. I, the sad, broken, suicidal kid, enjoyed life again. I learned the secret that everybody wants. You know what everybody really wants? They want to feel the day again. That's what everybody really wants. They want to feel life again. Feel the enthusiasm, the vibrancy, the, the love, the joy. They want to feel it. We've barreled through so many years. You ever have those moments where you go, I don't even remember the last six months. I don't remember the last three years. That's not your memory. It's that you didn't live the day, you didn't feel the day. When you actually feel the days, they elongate. When you actually feel life, it's not barreling through because you're going through the motions. It's like a vibrant tapestry. It's different. There's an energy to it. Everyone always says it. When they get on our world, they're like, I don't know, you guys, you're all weird. Did you. What's it with your audience and Brendan? They jump, they clap, they're happy. Cause I'm here. Presence. You know what? If you have. I would tell people, if you want to fear something, fear living a false and constrained life, fear that. Fear going through life, not being you and feeling it. Fear that. Don't fear, make believe stuff. Fear that life is short and we should live it and experience it and really feel it. I learned those lessons. I started telling everybody about it. People say, oh, I like that. You should teach, you should talk, you should start this thing. And I thought, maybe I'll write a book one day about, you know, some of the lessons that I learned. And so I went into the next huge fearful thing of my life, which was, you know, went through school to, you know, get my degree, got my degree, got a good, safe job working for somebody, teaching and training in the consulting company. But I wanted to write a Book. So for all the years I was there, I was like, I want to write a book. I want to write a book. I want a book. But I was terrified. It wasn't like it is now, you know, it was scary to be a book author back then. And I remember that decision. Who's ever made a decision to leave a job and to do your own thing? That's terrifying, right? You lay up at night thinking about that. Sometimes you're fired up and sometimes you're like, what am I doing? And I did what every great writer does. I quickly went broke. You know, I sweat so broke I didn't know what I was doing. And I was so scared, I quit the job. I didn't know how to write a book. I'd never written a book about, like a real book. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. I was dating a girl at the time, and she was the girl. She was the girl. She was the girl. I just knew it. I met her at the gym. Me, scrawny, Brendan Lee, you know, I went to this gym where everyone was huge, and then there was me. And this beautiful girl walked in and I was on this machine, wherever this one is, where you're doing with the back thing, your legs are up over there and you're doing the back thing, you know, so I'm doing this and I'm like sweating on this mat and she's sitting there and she's doing some sit ups. I'm like, hi. No game whatsoever. How are you? Okay. And we start talking, talking. And just I was excited to meet her and we had this amazing conversation and, you know, I felt good because at that time I had a job and I was new in San Francisco and. And this was a new person. I was excited and we started talking and then I'd see her a few times and then I didn't see her. And then I dated somebody and she dated somebody. And then we saw each other again and. And when I saw her the next time, I was ready because I had left this one relationship because I knew she was the girl. And I saw her in the gym and she came in. And my dad had always taught me, hey, you know, if you ever meet a nice girl, you should know everything going on in the city so you can ask her to do something nice versus just go to a movie. And so I'd read the newspaper. I always knew what was going on. So I ran into her that day and I knew that weekend they were doing a show that was opening at an Art museum. And so I met her and I said, hi, how are you? And I was so excited when I saw her, and I hadn't seen her in several months, and her name is Denise. And she walked up, and I go, hi, Diane. How are you? She's like, it's Denise. I'm like, oh, I know we haven't seen each other. You probably forgot my name. She's like, hi, Brendan. I was like, oh, God. But she let me recover. She. She let me recover. I said, oh, well, do you like art? And she's like, do I like art? I said, yeah, art. She's like, yes. I said, well, there's an art museum. It's opening on Sunday. If you want to take, like a Sunday stroll and go to this art museum, I'd love to go there. I have two tickets. And she's like, oh, well, I'm going to go work out. Come ask me later. I said, I'm leaving right now. What's your number? And she. She tells me the number. I repeat it back to her. She goes, okay. And I repeat it back to her. She goes, okay, okay, I'll call you. And I go out of there because I don't have a good numbers memory. So I run downstairs to the front desk and go, do you have a piece of paper? Do you have a piece of paper? They're like, what? I said, piece of paper, piece of paper. And the lady starts fishing for a piece of paper. I'm like, good Lord. So I run. I run six blocks back to my house, repeating her number, 415311. Screaming at the top of my lungs, getting this number in my head. I run up into my apartment, I write it down like, oh, okay. Then I call, and it's in her voicemail, and it's her. I'm like, yes. Oh, okay. So I called her. We set the date, we go to the museum. We have this great time. Because I'm like this all the time. So in a very stuffy museum, I'm your best friend. We're gonna have the best time, right? We had the best time. Everything's great. And I can feel. I remember at the museum, we go up on this little hill, we go to this little coffee shop. She asked me if I want, you know, do you want to hang out? You want to have a coffee? I'm like, no. She's like, what? And could you imagine me on coffee? I didn't drink caffeine at that time in my life. I was like, no. She's like, well, do you Want to go with me while I have coffee? I said, oh, yeah, that'd be great. So we go. She gets coffee. We're sitting on this. Looking at this fountain, looking at this church over this hill next to the MoMA, and we're just talking. And I just remember there's this moment where we just locked in and our hearts connected. And she always says that that was the moment she knew that something important was going to happen between us. And I always say, I just thought we were going to make out right then. That's what I thought was happening. Anyway, We start dating, and I tell her my crazy dream. I want to leave and start my own thing. I want to teach and I want to coach people. But as an entrepreneur, I want to start by writing this book. She's like, oh, you want to write a book? I said, yeah. She's like, okay, well, how are you going to do it with work and everything? I said, I'm going to quit my job. I'm gonna write my book. And she's like, well, how will you pay for things? I said, well, I'm. You ever not think that part through yet? Well, I just. Okay, well, so I quit the job. And as I said, I quickly went broke, and now I'm with the girl. But I have no money, and I can't afford my rent anymore. So I go live on my friends. I give up my apartment, and I'm living on the floor of my friends. And this goes on for months. And at some point now, I either have to go back to Montana and live with my parents, or we have to move in together. And we didn't want to move in together until maybe one day we got married or something. But she says I can move in. She believes in me. And it was the hardest thing to have someone believe in you when you know you don't deserve it. A lot of us have that fear that we don't deserve it, that we are unworthy of their belief, we are unworthy of their time, their energy, their resources, their love. Because I still had that inside from that breakup, which had been, you know, over a decade prior to. I still just didn't think that, could she really love me? Why would she believe in me? No. I don't know. I still had all that in my head, and I didn't know how to do anything. I don't know how to write a book. And so I was. After spending time at my friend's house, I have to move into hers. And I remember I went home that summer, and I Picked up a little desk that I could move into her apartment. Her apartment is small, so I was going to have to write in the bedroom next to the bed. I think I have that picture now. Of course, I recognize how ridiculous it was. I had my mom's three legged table and I was writing on this desk. And the truth is, every day we would wake up, Denise would go to her real job. She would commute into a real job that was paying for all the groceries, was paying for us to live together. I had zero money. I'm broke, broke, broke. And she believes in me. When she goes to work, I fold out that thing and I'm like, I'm gonna go to work too. She leaves. And then usually I kind of fart around the house. And then I go down to the fancy places where the fancy people in San Francisco write. Because, you know, there's all these famous cafes in San Francisco where famous writers went. And I go and I sit there and I'd be so excited to write where this famous writer. I'd sit down, I'm like, yes, this is gonna be so awesome. And I would sit down and then I'd stare at the blank page. And I didn't know what to write. I didn't know how to write. I'd get discouraged. I'd go get a green tea, I'd get a croissant. I'd sit back down. Cause that's what everyone else is doing, green teas and croissants. I was like, okay, that's what people do here. So. And I'd fake it and nothing would happen. And then I'd need to go. Inspiration, I'd say, so I'd go in and write. I'd walk around for some inspiration. And then I would come back and at night she'd show up and I'd be doing this. How's it going? I've been riding here all day, babe. I'm awesome. Who's ever lied about your progress? Yeah, so I lied about my progress for months. And months. And whenever you lie about working hard, your brain hears it. You lose self respect. You lose real progress in life because you know you're faking it. You know you're not showing up and doing the hard work. You know, you're telling yourself stories about when you'll be ready and when it will be perfect. Your brain knows. Your brain knows you're not jumping in and you're disengaging. Your brain knows that you're choosing a cowardly life. It's not nice to say but the brain knows it. That's why we don't like ourselves sometimes we haven't earned the self respect of showing up. Do the work, do the work. Do the work. Be consistent. Do the work. Be like. We lose self discipline and we don't like ourselves as much anymore. People don't like when you say that self worth is tied to self discipline. It's just that it is. And so I didn't like myself. And the truth is, now I was going into bankruptcy. So every morning I'd fold out the thing. I'd get everything ready, my little writing tools. And on the bed next to me, I'd set up all the vision boards, all, all the research, all the books, all the papers. Denise would go off to work a real job. And then I started getting the credit card bills. And they're going on the bed, the bankruptcy papers, they're going on the bed and they're just stacking up. Now there's. You ever have envelopes that you know the bills are in and you just don't open it? Who's ever just stacked it but not opened it around the room? Yeah, a lot of us, right? I just stack them up and they get big. They're big. You're just avoiding. You won't even open it. You won't even. You're so scared of the thing, you know what's in it. You won't even open it. Broke. That's where I was one night. Faked all day. She comes home and I'm typing. We have a nice dinner. I go back in. I'm pretending to type. She goes, showers, gets ready for bed. She comes in, she comes in. She sees me working diligently. Kiss on the cheek. Good night, honey. I love you. She goes to go to sleep, crawls under the covers of the bed. But on the section where all of my bills and unopened credit cards and bankruptcy papers were. So I'm pretending to type. I look over. And I see the love of my life sleeping under the weight of my bills. And it was just like. I don't know if you've ever been there, but none of us want our own inaction and. And lack of consistency to be the cause of pain or financial pain for those that we love. And I see her and I'm like, this is not the life I wanted. Come on, Brandon. You know what I really fear? And I didn't know until then, I feared not being able to take care of my family. And I don't know why that hit me that day, but it hit me and I just hit those keys. She's sleeping that night. All night, the whole night. Right next, Next morning, as soon as I got up, next night, next morning, next day, next day, next day. 18 days, book is done. 18 days, Go home, finalize it. This book hits. It's called Life's Golden Ticket. Becomes number one on Amazon, Becomes my first book, my first big book with HarperCollins. It comes out, it goes straight up. And I was like, yes, I've made it. I start writing another one. And then a few weeks later, it goes straight down. You're like, oh, I didn't know that was gonna happen. And I didn't know what to do. And I got discouraged. The first book, I thought it did great and then it went away. Oh, my God. Discouraged. Doubt, defeat or discipline? Now I know I have the choice. Defeat or discipline? Discipline. Keep going, kid. Come on, just show up again. Don't go back where you're faking it. Don't go back to faking it. Do the work. Okay? Some of you know the letters. Six best selling books later. New York Times best selling in a row. It was just like, wow. And I tell you, I didn't go back to the fake life. I did the work. You get a day of rejuvenation, but only you give yourself that. No one on stage, no one in church, no one at school. You. At some point, you go, you know what? I deserve a fresh start. I deserve a fresh start. Everyone say it with me. I deserve a fresh start. And what's empowering about life is some of you will walk out of here and you'll believe it for yourself. And some of you will go back to your next day just like you've barreled through every other day. And you're like, I went to Brendan's Growth day la. I don't feel nothing. And if that's true, that's okay. I don't take that personally. Everyone finds their own rejuvenation, their own restart line. I just think the world needs a big restart. Can I get an amen on a weekday, ladies and gentlemen? I'm like, woo, we need a restart. We need a restart. A refresh. I call it reigniting your life. You call it whatever you want, but it's got to be something. In our culture, in our world, our company, we call it growth day. Every day is a growth day. Every day. Sun comes up, new things to do. Let's go.