No More Holding Back: It's Time to Go All In and Transform Your Life!

All right, bro. Looking sharp with that. That I like your hoodie or your hat there, buddy. Growth Day Live LA experiment number two. It's an experiment because today we learn how does it work in a theater for a full day event, if something can go wrong and you're a performer is. It usually does. It's your big day, presenting to the board or to your boss or to your customers. Usually something that day breaks, something goes wrong. And so the. The importance of endurance in the industry is learning to manage your emotions. When that happens, a lot goes wrong in our lives anyway. We just don't notice it. But the week of something important, we're hyper vigilant, we notice it. We take a lot more stress and anxiety on. And that stress and anxiety gets associated with the thing that we're doing. And soon we don't want to do the thing anymore and we don't know why we lose our way. Yes, you can tap into higher levels of flow and presence and joy. You'll learn that along the way. But don't think that ever the performance, you know, energy, which some might call stress or anxiety, goes away. And so life and career and my industry is so much about just learning to deal with the emotions of it all. All right, you guys ready? Yeah. No. This is difficult. New city, new stage. No idea how to get in. Your job is to control your emotions because something goes wrong. I'm locked out of my own show. That's how I got in. Hey, Mel, what are you doing? That's funny standing around there. Hey, do you. You have my video to play to start the show? No, I don't have the video. If we are going to do that, I. I need to get it and do it now because I've got to reconfigure the system. Is it possible or is it an X? Anything's possible and nothing's a pain in the ass. You had mentioned you were going to get like a short little stage one, a theater mic. Yeah, we have a dpa and we also have the regular lavalier that. That's. I think you should try because you can't see it. I'm wearing a suit. I'm going to move around all day, and I've always known the loss. Yeah, okay. Okay. So I'm cool with the dpa. All right, cool. I will. I will make that happen. How you feeling, boss? We're having mic issues. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Grumpy. Hey, how you doing? I remember my first decision. Some of you might not know this, but before all the stage, before all the events, before the podcasts, before the famous clients, my first paid job was painting chicken coops. Now, I'm from Montana, and one day my mom's friend was over at the house and said, hey, would you like to earn some money? I need some help with these chicken coops. I want to paint them. And I was like, oh, money? What? How hard can it be? So I get a ride over to the farm and it was just dirt for miles. And I pull up, I was like, oh, this is not what I thought a farm. You know, I feel like there's happy cows and there's trees and, you know, spinach growing out, everything. I don't know what the farm is. I'm a kid, it's a mess. It is a home built chicken coop from very limited resources. And I'm looking at it and like, oh, man, that's ugly. I get all the painting materials and I pull them over and we're standing there and I was like, okay, I guess I'll get a painting. Oh. She goes, oh, no, no, no. First you need to go get the hose. I go, the hoe. She goes, well, yeah, first you have to clean the coops. And I said, well, what about all the chickens? How do you get them out of there? She's like, well, that's what you have to do. I go, I don't know how to get a chicken. She's like, well, you just grab them and I want you to put them over in this coop over here. And there's like 40 chickens in there. You ever going after a chicken? They don't like you. You know, sometimes you see, like on Instagram, like little baby goats that are so happy. Wild animals typically don't like you. And they definitely don't like me because I'm a human and all their friends have been eaten. So it takes me two hours to get all 40 from here to there, partially because sometimes I'd be taking them and they'd be scratching and freaking and pecking me and I drop them in the open field and then have to run after them. It's sunset. I barely have have the coop cleaned. I'm exhausted. I still have to paint the thing. I come over and I sit on this little mound of like hay and dirt and filth. And I'm sitting there and I'm watching those chickens and I'm looking at these coops and I'm looking at the paint cans and I'm looking at myself covered in just filth. And blood and scratches. And the decision happened. Maybe some of you had it in the last couple weeks or months, but there's that bam. It just happens. You don't do anything for this decision to happen. It's given to you. Usually in a moment. The first decision often sounds like you exhausted, you tired, you filthy, you bloodied from life. And it pops in your head and you go, There's more to life than this. This is not the scene of my life that I'm going to relive and relive and relive and relive. And sometimes that decision that happens in one of your relationships, you were in a scene with somebody in the past and you're having that argument again and again and again and again and decision, this is not my life. It scares you to death. Who's had that happen? I don't want this way of living or being. And it hits you. And you don't get to think it through. It just hits you. And some of you, here's the problem. You've disguised that voice. You've heard it and you've translated it into something else. Like, I know some of you hear that and it's like a clarion call to action and confidence and you're in the game, you know? So I know some of you are like, what are you talking about? But I also know I'm talking to high performers and high achievers. Sometimes that voice is there, but you just say, oh, yeah, honey, you know, I'm just burned out. And you're disguising the voice that's really there because that's what we do. It's a very scary voice to listen to that says, this is not how it's supposed to be. Because you know what? Soon as you accept that voice, a confrontation is required. I know I've been doing this for so long, this is where all my views dip down. Our live people are like, it seemed fun. Click. This is gonna be a hard conversation. But this group likes this stuff. Yes. It's like, I like it. I mean, think about this 11 or 12 year old sitting there, earning his first 50 bucks, bloodied, dirty, filthy, sitting on this mound of crap, knowing I got at least six hours ahead of me. Lady's pulling out this, you know, big farm light that they shoot, pointing it on things. She's not like, hey, you should go home tomorrow. She's like, you're gonna finish this job in the dark. She comes over, she goes, just make sure as you're painting, stay in the coop. I said, why? She Says, well, sometimes there's wolves. And I just. The whole time I'm going, this is not my life. You know, I remember when $50 was a bajillion dollars. A bajillion. It's so much money. And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking in my mind as I'm painting. I'm like, no, Brendan, you got this. See it through, Brendan. At least you'll know in your heart these chickens will be murdered. At least. At least you know those bastards are all gonna die. Just endure. This is the stuff my brain is saying as a 12 year old, I'm already convincing myself that I can endure what's wrong. Who's ever been there? You endured what's wrong too long. There was a moment you were climbing upstairs somewhere, you couldn't breathe. This. I can't even get upstairs. This is terrible. I'm not supposed to be this out of shape. I'm going to go to the gym. You went to the gym. You kind of didn't know what to do. You felt awkward and weird. And the spandex things you bought just for that one time didn't quite feel right. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the big mirrors and you thought, I'm not coming back here again. The decision was, this is not me. I'm supposed to be healthy. I'm supposed to feel vibrant. I should be able to run up these stairs. But I guess it's okay. I guess I can stay the same. I guess I'm just built that way. And we tell ourselves all these things after we were told the truth and the hardest truth. And the decision life is often, this is not what life is supposed to be. I've already been in that place of my life. And my life became dedicated to helping people change their life. Because when I was a young man, I wanted to take my life. You can change. You can shift, you can skill up. If you don't like a part of your life, you can change that. Can I get an amen on a weekday? Yeah. Turn the person left, right, Shake them. Say you can change. Change. Quit denying the party says, I hate this job. I don't like the way I'm being in this relationship. I don't like the way that I feel. I don't like that I drank four bottles again. I don't like these things about myself. Today we want to say, no, no, no. Like everything about yourself. I'm like, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. There's parts of you that need to change. That part of you that is rude and dismissive and awful or violent to other people, that this is not okay. By making everything okay in society, we have a society on the brink because we've lost standards. And those standards begin at home and in your heart of what you allow of yourself. Where we are and how we live our life always comes from our ambition, our mindset, our habits, our relationships. We don't want to face the bills. I shared that last month. We don't want to face the difficult relationship. We don't want to have the hard conversation. But most importantly, internally, we don't even want to address it. I'm hoping today we get a few ideas that will open up how to deal with that. I'm hoping today you leave here equipped with a little bit more ability in your emotional regulation, a little bit more perspective in your thoughts. I hope a whole lot more compassion and kindness and even courage with other people. Because there is another level. I see it all the time. Becoming ultra successful to me is not about just your wealth or your money or your network or your power or your status. It's about how you actually feel and experience the day. And I'm going to tell you here, it's so simple. Today there's a decision. There's something that it's time to see, acknowledge, hear, confront in your life. And I can't with this many people and that many thousands online. I can't tell you what it is, but I'd love for you to give yourself the gift today of identifying it. Everyone say, I'm here. Everyone say, I'm ready. Everyone say, I go in strength. I go in strength. That's what we're gonna do today. We're gonna face it, we're gonna be here, we're gonna work through it. We're gonna ready ourselves and we're gonna leave these doors and we're gonna leave in strength and get an amen on a weekday. Let's do it. At some point, there's a decision, and that decision is so key. But as I've worked with the best teams in the world, the best companies in the world, the best sportsmen in the world, the best entrepreneurs in the world. So few have ever made the next level decision. And that is the decision to live an extraordinary life. Because everyone knows their average and the average, everyone can tell when you're just kind of going through the motions and accepting things and playing victim. When we're there, we know it. But some people go, I can survive it. I'm fine. And they never Say, but wait, what's the higher aspiration? And that is something you consciously have to do from that little boy sitting on that mound of dirt and bloody and filthy kid hating on chickens. I wish I could tell you in the very next moment I decided I was going to own this farm. I was going to build mini farms, I was going to hire people to slaughter all the chickens. That's not what happened. I had to endure another seven more years of being in a bad place, mentally, emotionally, physically. And then some of you know, I had that car accident. As I thought about my life, it was so simple because I thought, wow, life is short. Now that's a knowing. But sometimes you get hit in the head a little bit and you go, okay, if it's so short, I want it to be awesome. Listen, so few people ever make the decision, so I'm just going to force it on you because you're here and if you hate it, leave. I don't care. There's a million out there. I want you to know and to give yourself that conscious decision, that challenging decision that I'm going to live an extraordinary life. Repeat it with me. I'm going to live an extraordinary life. Well, sometimes you're going to have to change a few things to get there. And so I'm going to teach you a few mindset tricks today, a few ways of looking at life and I hope it resonates. Today we're going to talk about the formula. I'd written my first book. Things are going great and yet I'm watching these video results and people are watching the first part and they drop off, which happens, right? But it really bothered me because like, how are they disengaging from the conversation about their life so fast? I'm visiting my parents back in the house. I walk into the house and walk through the living, going up to my childhood bedroom and my mom and dad are watching that show with Pat Sajak and Vanna White where they turn the letters. Anyone know what the show is called? Wheel of Fortune. On the board there were a few letters that were turned, but not all of them. And the people on the show have to guess what the words are. Well, I walk by and I stop and I see a few words, a few letters. I'm like, oh, I wonder what. And I sat down and I couldn't leave until it was completed. And my head went, oh my God, what I need to do is do that. So I got the flip chart and I wrote down words on a post it note. I stuck them to It, I put another post it note above it and wrote 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. And my views went through the roof. People watched the whole video because they had to see what was behind number seven. And so for me, the flip chart is a special thing. And I just want you to know that story. I'm going to explain a lot about your life right now, and you might not like it. Your dreams must be bigger than the drama in your life. Sometimes the drama in your life becomes the highlighted thing. The more you take things personally, you don't let it pass through. You hold onto it. You develop that emotional baggage. Well, that emotional baggage was a decision that you were wronged, that it's unfair for you only. And by the way, we've all been wronged. Who's had unfair stuff happen recently? This is not stuff that goes away, but particularly dramatic people, they take it personally. They make it a thing. So what gets their attention? The gossip. The thing. They live in the thing. That's what I call the drama. The thing. It is just this noise monster that is barreling through cities and eating people's hearts and souls. The dreams must be greater than the drama. This formula gets a little bigger because we also have to make sure that the dream is bigger than the distractions. For those at home, someone just went. Is there always going to be drama and distractions even when you experience parts of the dreams? Sure. I'm just here to tell you you can't sustain and grow that dream when these things are dominant. I had drama get into the theater this morning. I had drama. We couldn't get in the door. We couldn't get in the theater. It's my show. When the mic breaks, when I can't get in the door, when the food's not right, when the this thing doesn't play, when I come out to dance and they kill the song at my show, I didn't get distracted, did I? I'm ready. Beat, beat, beat. No beat. Good morning. Because you see, the job is to serve. This is the dream. My mind is not on the distraction. Things don't go perfectly. You can still be in the dream. No place more are we sucked into distraction than social media today. And if you can't recognize that, then it owns you. See, in this society where we're scrolling and swiping, the average North American is losing in an hour to hour and a half a day. Am I like her? Am I like her? Am I like him? Am I like him? Why does my thing. Oh, they have better headline. Look at that, look at that cool little thing they have going. Oh, look at that little bug. Oh, I don't have to do that. Oh, their video is better than mine. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare. And so what ends up happening? You're giving your mind every day a great dose of judgment, comparison and exhaustion. Do you remember malls? How often did you go to the mall? You go, oh, yeah, a lot, Brennan. Maybe I'd go, you know, once, twice, three, three, four times a week. I'm like, did you ever go to the mall two hours a day, every day for a year? They go, no. I said, why wouldn't you do that? Well, I don't have the time for that. This time is part of the formula. And if this is getting so much of your time over, this extraordinary gets further and further and further away. Do you see why this formula is so important? This is life to me. This is modern life for people. I'll say the last piece is your dreams must be bigger than drama, distractions and discouragement. You've got to see beyond the discouragement. When you're discouraged, you better reconnect with that idea, that feeling, that identity, that wants to be extraordinary, that wants to pull yourself through it. I think what happens for a lot of us, though, is that we get in a place where we spend a lot of time analyzing the losses, analyzing the failure. It's like we're always in post mortem about something that went bad and that gets our focus. You learn mindfulness, you learn presence, you make those things a real study. So then when you get knocked down, you don't stay down so long. You've got your future orientation. That's this thing of, I'm going to become extraordinary, I'm going to live an extraordinary life. But you've got the in the moment presence and mindfulness that can feel freedom from the emotions that keep bringing you down. I want you to write this formula down and I would love for you to maybe even take a picture of it. One day. Apple will give you the reminder where you were a year ago. And this little slide shows up on your phone. You're like, oh, how am I doing? Are my dreams getting my time? Or is drama and distraction and discouragement getting my soul? Some people make the decision, though, and their problem isn't the formula. Their problem is the ceiling. I'm not talking about the glass ceiling. I'm not talking about the ceiling of your potential. I'm talking about a different ceiling that is very Unique to successful people, you have a different ceiling. Some of you know, I charge a million dollars to coach a person one on one. And inevitably, over the last 10 years, the ceiling's come up over and over. The problem is if an extraordinary life, that high ambition is completely undefined. Watch what happens if there is no ceiling on your ambitions or your dreams. Meaning no clarity, no target. Then there's also no ceiling on how much you will work every week. And now the weirdest thing happens. One that's burnout. You haven't capped the ambition. You don't know what you're after here. So because you're a doer, you're an achiever, you're a builder, you're a striver, you're a leader, you will keep building, striving and leading, and burn yourself right into the ground. Cause you will never set the ceiling of how much do I actually work? How much work is allowed? Most people never ask that question. I know that sounds painful to hear, but sometimes we justify our work and our striving as the extraordinary part of ourselves. I don't want to take away your work ethic. Well, why are you bringing this up? Well, are you burned out? I'm not burned out. I'm energized, Brendan. This is my purpose, this is my passion. I go to the paint boy. Uh huh. Okay, so you don't call it burnout. You have less time with your kids and friends than you want. Yeah, Brendan, that's it. Okay, then we've got a ceiling issue here. See, high achievers, you have to set your ceiling for how much you're willing to work. I had a great mentor. You all remember Brian Tracy? Yeah. Brian still teaches. He's amazing. And he told me early on in my career, he said, brendan, you better have your number. I said, what is my number? He said, well, the number is how much you need to make. And once you make that, it's not that you won't keep striving, you will keep building. He says, brendan, you're a builder, you're a leader, you will keep going. I want you to keep going, but I also want you to keep going and have more fun because you already hit your number. I was like, wow, that was some good mentorship. When he asked my number without a b, I said, $40,000 a year. He kind of looked at me like. And everyone kind of looked at me like, why are you here? I was like, well, I painted these chicken Cooper. I'm kind of a bare minimum guy. I mean, some of you seen Me wear this outfit recently, but My number is 40. I've been having a blast. I have more time with the things that are important to me. High achievers. How hard are vacations? Sometimes if you're a high achiever, you're like, oh, I don't have time for this vacation. Why is it every time I go on vacation, all this drama follows me? Because you're the drama. If you struggle taking time for yourself, you got a ceiling problem. And the problem is you don't have one. Some people need to set a ceiling so they can have a life. I want you to think about this. Maybe it's okay for you to have a ceiling of how much you'll work. Matter of fact, maybe that will bring just enough balance and harmony that you repair the relationship with the kids again because you're home. That you repair the relationship with your spouse because you're around and present. Okay, so what do I do with myself? I want to introduce to you the path. The Path is an acronym. Go on the path. The Path. More time with your passions. What does that mean to you? If it's work, that's fine. What else? There needs to be counterpoint your unique abilities. These are your talents, your gifts, your nature, your strength, the things that you should be doing. If you're off path in your career, meaning you're off earning, you're probably spending too much time doing things that don't move the needle. You're giving your great abilities to administrative things that might not be in alignment with your great abilities. You get the idea. I will not belabor it. Pay attention to where you have tenacity in your life. You had tenaciousness somewhere in high school. There was a test you were getting ready for and you just really studied. There was a sport you were playing. You really played it. There was something you did that for whatever reason, you just didn't. You didn't give up on. And this is important to teach because sometimes the things you had tenacity to, you actually didn't have any ability on. Sometimes you had the tenacity you actually. It wasn't a passion yet. I didn't realize until much later my tenacity was tied to this one helpfulness. I don't know what my purpose is. Cool. Be more helpful to your family and your community and the people around you. Right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Cool. Be more helpful. Be of service. There's something you are tenacious about learning, figuring out and doing it. Even if you aren't naturally good about it. Be there more. Explore that more. And same thing with helpfulness. If you found a unique way that brings you joy or fulfillment of. Of helping people, be there more. For those who are struggling. Well, what is my dream? Be here more. I don't know what your dream is, but I know if you're here more, you'll be more centrally located in the right vicinity. You'll be in the proper zip code more often. You all understand what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah, that's the path. Let me increase a little bit more time here. Let me take one hour away from Instagram and give it somewhere here. Can you do that? Will you do that? If we can do that, we can make a big shift. We can make a big shift. Get back on path. Yeah. Thank you. A friend of mine was my best friend in high school, and I was kind of a lost kid, kind of a rowdy kid, but I don't know, there was something that when I walked in this house, I just felt accepted, and I'd be happy, and I'd be a little more boisterous in my friend's house than I was even at my house. I'd walk in the house because I knew he was gonna be fun, and he would see me, and he always talked to me like I was an adult. That never really happened to me. He talked to me like I was an adult. So I'd walk in there, and I'd kind of be a little more. You know, I'd be a little more outgoing and a little more active and a little more fun with him, and he'd be that way with me. And I remember I'd be walking in the house, and every time I walked in the house, he goes, oh, here comes the president. And he was a lighthouse for me. No one ever told me I could be a president. They usually said, get the out of my yard. So this was a different experience. Part of the dream, part of a wanting good life was probably modeled for you. Somebody had it. Somebody showed it to you, or somebody revealed to you you had potential. Somebody was a lighthouse in the dark for you. I want you to write their name down or several of their names down right now. What did they teach you? You got that spouse who's struggling. They need your beam of light. You got the person on that team really struggling, they need that beam of light. Who do you need to be a lighthouse for right now? Sometimes we forget that that's who we are. For others, what are you grateful for? Who was your Lighthouse. Who do you need to be a lighthouse for? And fourth, how do you need to develop? What do you need to get better at? What do you need to change? What is it that would make you more of a role model? I could tell you, for me, it was communication skills. It was like I couldn't talk. I knew that I needed to learn how to talk if I was going to have an impact because I was very uncomfortable. This is hard. But who's having a good time in Growth Day la, ladies and gentlemen? Okay. We live in a time that's extraordinarily dark and distracting and. And discouraging. And the answer is right there in your heart. Combine this with two things. Being a role model. These, plus this is what's going to beat those. Yeah, like that, this stuff. When this is more than that, you win life. When this is more than that, life feels great. It doesn't mean life feels absent from these. But these no longer slow your day. They no longer ruin your mood. What do you need to condition or develop or improve about yourself so that you can be better for others and achieve your dreams? I'm actually going to make it even more simple than that because I thought, you know, what's more motivating that I can talk about after break than this next concept today, which is the ruin. Let's talk about how we ruin our lives. Who's motivated as we start being role models for others, as we start seeking an extraordinary life? We tend to ruin our lives sometimes because we don't set a ceiling right? We're just always, always, always, always on, always going, always burning, always burning, always burning. No time for fun, no time for family, no time for the joys of life or to experience it. Your ruin tends to be something you're actually going to like when you hear it, because I'm going to give you permission to stop doing it. And that is. We need to talk about your inability to say no. Can we talk about that, ladies and gentlemen? The ruin is the inability to say no. We got successful. We didn't have a ceiling. So we kept saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And we just. We're like. We looked at our day. Every day's agenda is like, you have to set a strong barrier of nos in your life, but that's a discipline I think people like. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, just me. Are you all here? Am I wrong or do you guys like saying no? Okay, you don't like it. How many of you know you need to do it? Okay, that's what I Mean by the ruin. You don't like to do it. So you don't. But you know you should. That is what discipline means. How many people pleasers in the house tonight? Okay. They look around. Oh, yeah, A lot of people pleasers. Me too. I get it. I'm just like that. It's like I. I want all of my friends to be heard. All of my friends want me to read their book. All of my friends want to know how we do this email marketing. All my friends want to know what systems we have. All my friends, do you have two minutes? That ends up being an hour. And if I serve all those friends, nothing in my life would move forward. So we don't feel like it's safe. If I say no to everybody, they're gonna be mad at me. Well, the best ones to have mad at you are your family and your friends and your team. Cause they know you and they'll probably be there in the. You have a million projects. Me too. Let me help you with your million. Anyone? Okay. It's just like, it's not logical. It's an emotional compulsion to please people. And what I need you to do is have an emotional compulsion to live an extraordinary life. And it comes with the discipline of not ruining your life by saying yes to everything. I have all these auto replies saved in my email provider. Some of you are laughing because you've gotten it from me. It literally says, thank you so much for thinking of me and for the invitation. The challenge is right now. My calendar has been booked for months. I typically go book out six to nine months. And so that means right now I'm working on projects that I'm obligated for other people and other responsibilities that have been here for months. And unfortunately, I can't take on your last minute request right now because I'm fulfilling all those things that were strategically planned earlier. I wish you the best and I'm cheering you on, Brendan. I probably send that out 50 times a week. And this is friends. Like, my book's coming out next month. Can you review it? And I'll send them a picture of all the books on this little table I have over that I have to review them. Like, oh, these ones right here. Recording in progress. Somebody just realized they. They're like, shoot, he gave us a script and we didn't record it. Dang. He just gave us the script. It's gone. I'll say it one more time. It's something to the effect of, thank you for the invitation. I appreciate you thinking of me. However My plate is already full of projects that have been planned months ago, and I have obligations to people in those projects. My calendar usually fills up six to nine months in advance. So unfortunately, I can't take on your last minute request right now. So I can service these other strategic priorities from before. However, I wish you the best and I'm cheering you on, Brandon. Something like that. And no is a very important thing because there is no focus without no. And it's not just saying no so that you have free time. It's saying no to unhealthy requests. More the number one thing. I work with with new athletes, like the ones who just signed the big contract, all of a sudden their agenda is so packed full and all those things seem like yeses. But then they can't reset for practice, they can't reset for playoff, they can't reset for super bowl, they can't reset. And as they're trying to reset, guess what? Everybody has to pick up the slack for them. So now they're the drama. The less you say no, the more you become the drama. I want you to be so proud of the hard boundaries you set, that like you're standing guard to this extraordinary life. Like you're out front standing guard to the extraordinary life. If it's not a high quality yes, it is a hell no. Y' all got it? Everyone say with me, hell no. Okay, now just say no. Nice no. Okay, See either one, they Both work next 30 days. Give yourself a challenge. Be hyper vigilant about saying no. Ultra. We meet mid month, we come back together. This will be one of the challenges when we go to our breakout. I want you to share with your Ultra members. When we're online, what were the things that you said no to or the hard boundaries you left LA and you set in your life? Saying no is winning. Oh, I love that list. I'm like, oh, I said no to this thing. This thing, this thing. I'm like, that's great, because I barely had time to do this thing. This thing, this thing. If I had said yes to that, I would have teetered over completely into chaos. Thank God I said no. Okay, we talked about the ruin. What about the rise? How do we rise? The rise is the rise of all boats. It means finding other people. It means your team, it means your network. It means we rise together. We live in a society where we've all pulled ourselves apart. The challenge is we're fighting all the battles alone. And when you fight a battle alone, you always lose. That's the problem. There is no great battle in history where there was one individual. Right. The only example it would look like we have is David and Goliath. But we forget all of the strength and the support that was behind David, let alone with him. Most of us think that we're on like, some kind of, like, hopefully this, and we achieve that, right? Because we're always just by ourselves. So we have our ups and downs. But it's funny, when you get more people on that same journey, it's like that, that over time the variability actually decreases and the upward trend is there. More people ended up making you more efficient that when you were down, but this guy was up. That balance creates a predictability of progress and growth. Who understands what I'm talking about? This is why you need people. You need people, you need friends, you need family, you need peers, you need Growth Day members. It's like, have people on your journey. When you're down, someone's up. And the odds are over time, the growth is more. See how many of you have been down the last couple months. Honest. Happens all the time. Right? But when you're down, if it's alone and there's no one pulling you up, you stay down even just a little longer. Well, Brenda, I don't need anybody. Well, how long does it take you to get up usually? I don't know. Up in a day or two. Oh, what if it was just an hour or two? The efficiency of your rise is so much better. And I'm not the guy who ever says, don't be down. I'm usually the person who says, seek therapy if you need it. Get help. Reach out to people. I think the rise happens because of this little graph I showed you. There's plenty. I'm down plenty of times. And then I go on a walk with Denise. Thank God for my wife. I go out there, everyone thinks I'm motivating. Hang out with my wife. She's super motivating. She's good for me like that. Who has some good for you people in your life? Yeah. Could you do me a favor right now? Could you just text them all, hey, literally just grab two people right now, text them and go, hey, you're good for me. That's all I want you to say. Don't say anything else. Just go, hey, you're good for me. Appreciate you. Who's texting somebody right now? You haven't even text in over 10 days. Yeah. Raise your hand. Yeah. Keep in touch with those more often. Way more often. Somebody like, shut up. I'm texting if you are stuck. Brendan, I feel stuck. I don't know why. It's the frame. Let me teach you the frame. The first one. You could guess you're stuck because there's a fear there. Well, Brenna, I can't say no. Okay, maybe you're fearful of saying no. Fear happens but you freeze over a period of time with it. That's maladaptive. Fear is meant to mobilize, to ready yourself for adversity or a situation that demands you to protect yourself or to shift. Right. There's a reason we feel fear. Fear is not a negative thing. Outside of physical fear though, most mental fear is just poor management of our mind. Our fear is maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe I'm not worthy. Maybe I'm not good enough. And I always go, maybe you're right. It doesn't play well on TikTok. We will never know though until you get on the field and you fight and you progress. We will never know if you are deserving until you've been up there 30 times. If you are stuck and you are frozen and you are in self loathing and it's sticking there, there's some trauma and that always needs therapy. This is the time to go, have I been stuck in fear for a really long time? Because if you haven't unlocked that and you're conscious of it, oh my gosh, you need the therapy. For those who don't feel like you're locked in it, I want you to flip the fear and see the fear as, oh, I don't know, something's going on, I must be fearful. You know what, I'm kind of fearful of being judged. So I'm not going to try this. I'm like, great, so try it. If you can't teach your brain, I test my fears. You are raising your hand, say I am great being stuck. So explore your fears if you're stuck. I also want you to notice what I call your access of responsibility. What do I mean by that? Who has responsibility about you being stuck? When you're stuck, almost always you have given your power to somebody who or something else in any given moment can somebody screw you up, mess you up, slow you down, hurt you 100% but a year later you can't still look at back there. Well, my, my teacher did this 10 years ago. I'm like, that was 10 years ago. That was a moment that was awful. That could be terrible. And it was your responsibility to get help to grow new skills to and to get better and when we take away the responsibility from you, we take away your power. I'm the weird guy goes, when you're stuck, take on some responsibility. You gotta exert your powers again to get unstuck. You gotta flex a little bit again to get unstuck and realize that you're the one who has take control of your life. I think the other one to tap into, which we talked about this morning is your ambition. If you're stuck, you're disconnected from your ambition. After Learning about visualization 22 years of my life, 22 years ago in my life, I still wake up every morning and you can ask my wife about this because she thinks it's funny. I lay in bed and I just think I'm thinking about the future, thinking about the future, thinking about. Because I know if I lose connection with my future, I will lose my motivation. If you're stuck, I want you to look at your mood. Your mood is very contained within the last 72 hours. What happened to you? What you ate and consumed has a huge biological effect on your brain and your body. Huge. Huge. That's why even to you, like, I ate so good today, I don't know why I feel like crap. You had seven pizzas two nights ago. Your last three nights of sleep. Huge predictor of your mood right now. Enormous predictor. The people you hung out with the last three days. Enormous predictor. Here's why I tell you that that's the best science to know ever. Let me sleep really good, Let me adjust my diet to be really good and let me hang out with really good people. If I'll get those baselines down now, my baseline mood is good. If you didn't exercise, if you didn't take care of actual, you didn't walk, you didn't stretch, you didn't open your body, you didn't do any energy release. You did nothing for your physical body either in terms of movement. That's why you feel that the way that you do. We're immediacy focused animals. You need to realize how you feel is so dictated by the last 72 hours. Everyone's like, why are you so disciplined in your suffering? I'm like, because I don't want to be a jerk to my wife. I really like her. I think this last piece is really important. Your empowering self talk. Your first step in every project is your self talk. Thank you. We're not starting with the list, we're starting with the self talk. Testing, 1, 2, 3. Testing, 1, 2, 3. Okay. Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Mel. First step of every project is your. Is your. How many of you had to write a hard email in the last couple days? Okay, when I open the email, I never start writing. I open up the email, I think about what I want to say. I close my eyes. I don't think about what I'm going to write. I think about the self talk. I need to have. Brendan, remember that you have an opportunity to do good things here, that you care about people. I know you want to rip this person to shreds. You're not the type of person who rips people to shreds. Brendan, remember who you are. Go ahead, buddy. First step, self talk. I don't want you to do anything hard ever in your life again without conscious self talk. Some people just need to go read the Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale again. You haven't read it in 10 years. Read it again. And if you don't believe in God and you're like, oh, he's so Christian, it's like you'll survive. Read the book. Another mindset. The way how are you going to show up every day? We're all going to leave here at some point. What's your way of being? I would like for you to define that today with three words. My way is joyful and it's confident and it's loving. And I have to tell myself that with that empowered self talk in those dark days, I have to remind myself when I don't want to do anything. I have to tell myself when I'm mad at somebody. Take back the helm of life, make those choices, Be proud that you're living that way. Show up in that way for your family, for your friends, for your community, for this world. That's the stuff of growth, the breakthrough. So last month was our first event here, Ultra members. That was our first experience here. There was a reason it was Ultra only. There were reasons I didn't have other speakers yet. There's a reason we weren't doing performance in a theater yet. You know, we're learning how to do this, you know. One show best customers half day. Second show best customers open up to select Growth Day members. Full day. Learn the tech, learn the lighting, learn the air conditioning. There's no H Vac up here, so last time I was drenched, couldn't breathe. We've had some weird things happen. So why do I say all that? Because notice what's not. I don't have any Growth Day teachers here speaking yet. Right? Because why? I'm the guinea pig And I want you to think in your life a little bit about, you know what? Sometimes you see the stream way out there and everyone's doing it. So fancy. You just need to start in the game immediately. Small experiments, incremental improvement. Add one new thing, then add another new thing, then add another new thing. And that's called skilling up. That's called building capability. That's actually the breakthrough. Some people, their experimental actions are every four years. And they're like, I don't know why, I'm not breaking through. I'm like, you don't try anything new for four years. Salespeople know this. You change one little piece of the sales message. See how that performs. Change another little piece, see how it works, Change another. But every week, I want to give you the gift of every Monday. I want you to know, what is your test for the week from now on, your whole life, what's the test? I'm going to try a little bit of this incrementally grow yourself into greatness. You got to put some experiments up on the board. You ever heard the phrase little plane, big plane? When they're teaching new pilots and the new pilot gets a little bold, they'll say, hey, man, little plane, big plane. And that's because when you're a pilot, you learn to fly the little plane and then the next size plane and then the next size plane, and then the next size plane. It's very incremental. Before you get up to an A, you know, or. I'm sorry, a C15 or a C5. Right. Those are the huge, like, military planes that they put tanks in the back of and fly them to other countries. A lot of people start with a little tiny plane and they stay with the little tiny plane. What you want to do is go, there's a big plane, and I'm going to little plane this into the big planeness, and you're just going to go. And that's the plan. See your little plane today might be the big plane of 10 years ago, but today that higher consciousness is going, I'm happy with the plane I'm in. I like it. I've learned to be in this plane. But if you can also go, there's a bigger game, there's a bigger plane. Not just to chase it for no reason, but to know there is a better quality marriage, there is a better quality of health for you. You're in the little plane of the joy and the confidence and the love that you can experience in your life, not because you're not doing it great. It's just that. That's called growth. Anyone watch that BlackBerry documentary? It's called BlackBerry. I think it's on Netflix. And it was interesting because they knew what was coming, but they were so super. Ours is the best plane. And it's like, oh, no. There's new technology, and you start with a little plane and incrementally change and innovate again. You always need to have R and D in your business. You always got to be an R and D in your marriage. You have to keep things fresh. You have to test to do that. That's the breakthrough. And. And it's not sexy. It's weekly. It's not one big sudden move in the middle of the year. It's every week you're trying stuff. We're going to test out something in every area of your life. Test something out in the bedroom when you get home, tell them you went to growth Day. So they're like, I'm coming with you next time. You know, it's like, listen, it should be fun to think of all the ways that you can wow or surprise prize or try and our culture has gotten away from that. We have a culture of seeking adolescent certainty. What we need to have if we're really going to change this world and change the relationship we all have with each other is curiosity. I think the greatest phrase in life, the childlike phrase that keeps life so joyful, is when you learn to be entering a room or an experience. Be like, what's this going to be like? I really want you to have that curiosity, that engagement with life again. Don't get boring. Don't stop testing. Keep learning. Most people, they bumble through decades of their life because there's no demarcation lines. There's no finish lines. If you finish November, December wrong, then the goals you set up in January and February seem fake. But if you finish the year strong, and that's your rhythm. I just finished the year strong. I finished the year strong. I finished the year strong. Then you set those goals in January. Like that's. That's possible because I just. I just kick butt the last 30, 60, 90 days. So please, please. What is that for you finishing the year strong. Okay, we'll all stand up, everyone. Let's have some fun. Let's bring the. All right, stand. Find some people who you love. On your mark, get set and go. Feeling good about the show. It's been a hard show. It's been a hard show. It felt like we were just like 30 minutes late. On everything this morning, and I had to adjust my attitude. But then once I hit stage, now I'm home. The live feed to, you know, millions of people on YouTube and Facebook was not going well. It was like some wi Fi issue or cable issue or something like that. And so imagine you're on stage and a bunch of people are waving at you, but you don't know what they mean, because in the theater, we don't have our regular compass monitor. So they're trying to communicate to me, but it's so dark, I can't figure it out. So I just powered through and went, Watched the audience and just rolled with it. And now I feel great because it's one of those, like, that was a struggle of a morning, but we survived it. And it's really about what the audience thinks. And you can see. You can see when the audience is into it and they're into it, man. I can talk about all the struggles, and I can talk about the experimentation, but even though I feel really depleted right now, just because we did the last five hours, it's gratitude. That's it. It's like, such gratitude for this team figuring out this whole new venue, this whole new process, this new. I mean, so many new things. Gratitude for the audience because you can see they're in it. When you're watching the audience, they're in it. I mean, they are not. These aren't casual interviews. Internet lurkers. You know, the people who come to seminars, they want to work on their life. They want to do the work. They want to, you know, have the conversations. They want to face the tough stuff of their life. They want transformation, but they know to get transformation, you have to go through truth. And watching them take the notes, watching them interact with each other, I have a huge gratitude and respect for them because I can feel the difference. I can feel when an audience is just like, you know, a corporate audience is kind of watching. And they're there because they have to be for their job. And then people like this, who travel from around the world to be here, who do the hard work, who bring the great energy, mad gratitude for that. You know, it makes my job fun. When I see the lights going on in the audience and I feel that energy, it's like, oh, this is why we do this. This is why we do this. Sa.