Ep 124 | The 8-Step Model for Overcoming a Bad Day with Brian Gubernick

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today we're going to be discussing my 8-step process to overcoming a bad day, dealing with a bad day. So over the past couple decades of being in business and having a family and having a lot of different responsibilities, it goes without saying that from time to time I've had a bad day. I think we've all had rough and/or bad days from time to time. And having had that experience multiple times over, I had to develop a system, or I should say a model, when I recognized I was having a bad day, a model for how I was going to go about changing that around, overcoming that, and making sure, making certain that that bad day in particular didn't spill into the next day and beyond. I wanted to stop that one bad day dead in its tracks. In other words, I don't want to see it impact anything else. Every once in a while, again, we're going to have a bad day. Maybe something hap— something happened in the office. Maybe a deal fell apart. Maybe we had some sort of argument or debate. Maybe things just didn't go our way. Maybe we just weren't feeling on, like we just were off and stress was high, anxiety was high. These things happen. If you play the game long enough, it's going to happen multiple times over. So I came up with what I believe to be my 8 steps that I, you know, put into play whenever I know I have a bad day or have had just had a bad day. Okay. So step number 1, I actually have to create space. I've got to take a timeout. So I get home. Let's say I knew I had a rough day. I don't want that rough day to spill over into my house, into my, you know, onto my family, right? So number 1, I need to take a timeout. I got to get my head right. Now timeout for me means breathing. You know, working on my breath, calming myself down, trying to lower my stress level or whatever it may be. Just, just, just creating more calming presence. For others, maybe it's meditation, whatever it may be. Take a timeout, center yourself, and create some space between whatever's kind of the conclusion of that bad day and when you're walking into your house at night. So I take a timeout, number 1. Number 2, while I may have already worked out that day, you know, oftentimes I work out in the morning. I really think that it is important for me on a bad day after the timeout to engage in some sort of physical activity. Maybe that means I go for a run. Maybe it means I go for a hike or a walk. Maybe it means I just go outside, you know, in our backyard and lift weights or do whatever. I've got to do something physical. I won't get into the science around it all, but most of us know that when you start to engage in physical activity, you have some hormonal changes. And for me, uh, it actually helps me again, put my mind at ease and it changes my mood. So I want to engage in physical activity. Now there's one caveat to this. When I'm having a bad day and I take a timeout and then I engage in physical activity, I specifically do this activity without any sound or noise, meaning I do not have headphones on. There's no music. I just want to be alone. Okay. I want, I want to be calmer. I don't want a lot of mental velocity. This helps me work through the next steps I'm about to discuss. So number 1, take a timeout. Number 2, engage in physical activity. Without sound or noise. Number 3, as I'm engaged in this physical activity, and once I've settled into it, let's say it's a run. Once I've settled into this run, I'm going to ask myself, okay, what was the cause of this bad day? This is an awareness exercise. What was the cause of the bad day? Step 4, again, still engaged in this physical activity. I've now asked myself, what's the cause of the bad day? Step 4, what are my feelings? I got to take a moment to recognize and accept my emotions, right? Like it's okay to feel down and frustrated. And I want to acknowledge these feelings because for me, it's the first step in addressing them and kind of turning the tide here a little bit, right? So I want to take a timeout, create space. I want to engage in physical activity. I want to address, you know, what the cause of the bad day is. I want to ask myself that question. And then I want to tackle, you know, or think around what are my feelings. Number 5, I ask myself this question: what am I going to do differently tomorrow? What am I going to do differently tomorrow such that tomorrow is a great day? Now my focus here has got to be around what I can control. So when I think, what am I going to do differently tomorrow? It's specifically around the things I can control. Okay. Number 6, the physical activity has now ended, right? So I'm no longer, let's say running. I'm no longer assessing what's the bad day on that run or how do I feel in that last question? What am I going to do differently tomorrow? Now the physical activity is over and it's time for number 6. Number 6 for me is organize tomorrow today. So plan for tomorrow. For me, that means going through my, my to-do list and identifying the 3 things that are most important. That's how I typically plan for my next day. In addition to reviewing my calendar and whatnot, I want to figure out what are the 3 things that are most important and what is the one thing I gotta, I gotta complete no matter what. So I'm planning for tomorrow right now. Number 7, in response to having a bad day, the 7th step in turning this thing around is I got to do something I enjoy that helps me unwind. Maybe it's even something that makes me laugh. You know, if that's watching something or something or listening to something, maybe if it's just hanging out with my wife and my kids and it helps me unwind, that could be it as well. Is it date night? Right? Like, again, I've got to make sure I've compartmentalized that component of my world at this moment, because I don't want it to spill over. But at this point, I probably have settled down quite a bit. So is it going out and spending time together? Whatever it may be, I got to do something I enjoy that helps me unwind. And I usually do that at night anyhow. But it's especially important to do it on those days that I would deem to be bad. And then number 8, the final step, go to bed early. I know that my mood, my behavior, the way I think, the decisions I make is greatly impacted by the amount of sleep I get. And so when I have a bad day, I want to go to bed early and maximize my sleep so that tomorrow I can address these things a little bit differently and create a great day. Okay? So the 8 steps, I'm going to go through them again real quick. Number 1, take a timeout, which means breathe or meditate. Just create some space between your day and your night. Number 2, I engage in physical activity without sound. Number 3, while engaged in this physical activity, I'm going to ask myself the question, what is the cause of the bad day? Number 4, what are my feelings around this? I'm going to recognize and accept my emotions. Number 5, while I'm winding down the physical activity, I'm going to ask, what am I going to do differently tomorrow such that I have a great day? And I'm going to specifically focus on what I can control. Number 6, now that I've done— I'm done with the activity, the physical activity, I'm going to plan for tomorrow today. For me, that's leveraging a system that I call 3-1, where I, where I identify the 3 most important things and the 1 absolutely must-do thing for the next day. It helps me calm down, gets my mind right. Number 7, I'm going to do something I enjoy that helps me unwind. Maybe, maybe even laugh. And then number 8, I'm going to get my butt to bed early. So that's my 8-step model for overcoming a bad day. I don't know if all of these things are applicable to you, But I challenge you, I challenge you the next time you finish your day and you're, you're, you're down or it's bad or it's stressed or whatever it may be. Try out this 8-step process. Give it a shot. Seriously, go step by step. And after you go through it, including going to bed early, I want you to shoot me a text or an email the next day and tell me how it worked out for you. It didn't always used to go this way for me, right? I didn't have a model. And sure, I would do elements of this. I'm like, oh, rough day, I'll go run. Or rough day, I'm going to, I'm going to go meditate or relax. Or rough day, I'm just going to go to bed. And sometimes that sort of thing works, but it was just a component of a bigger model that I needed. So the focusing question for you, how can you leverage this 8-step process in your world? Would it make your bad days a little less bad and especially more importantly set you up for tomorrow where you're going to have a great day instead? That's all we have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.