Ep 134 | Your Needs Are Smaller Than You Realize

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Before we get into today's, uh, subject, today's topic, I just want to thank all of you for listening to the No Days Off podcast over the past 5, 6 months, however long it's been. It's been a journey and it certainly would not exist. It would not be what it is today without all of you that have been listening and sharing and also, you know, shooting me a text or an email with your feedback, your thoughts, topics you want me to cover, maybe different thoughts you have around specific topics that I share. I really, really appreciate it. And I, I don't take enough time to thank everybody that's been listening. And following and pushing me to put out better content and a better podcast. It means the world. So thank you all for listening and for sharing the topics, the podcast episodes that you think make sense for those around you. I want to continue to continue you to do so. I've heard a lot of stories about different businesses and teams leveraging certain, certain topics or episodes to share with their team in terms of team conversations and and training and education. It just, it means a lot. It means the world to me actually. So thank you very much. We'll keep this NDO movement going strong. On that note, let's get into the topic of today. So I've been reading The Daily Stoic again. Uh, Daily Stoic's a book put out by, by Ryan Holiday. Uh, if you're not familiar with Ryan Holiday, look him up. He's got a lot of amazing books out there. And one thing he's got, on the market is called The Daily Stoic. And it's, it's 366 meditations, uh, quotes from Stoics that Ryan has studied. And then Ryan's thoughts around those quotes. And there's one for each day going by date. And, and it's a really, really cool reference guide, something to have on your desk. And I just recently picked it back up again and I, I don't read it every single day, but I will flip to a day when I see it and I'll read that day's excerpt and And it's really a great reference manual. And there was some— one I read recently that was about your actual needs being small. Your actual needs are small. What does that mean? Well, I've been thinking about it a ton. So I'll tell you my take. I think what Ryan was sharing is it can be very beneficial for all of us to reflect on what we used to accept as normal. I'll give you an example, or some examples for me. I remember when I started my business career, you know, 22 years ago, I guess, when I came out of college. And I remember my bank account. And when my bank account balance hit about $2,500, I got to tell you, as crazy as it sounds today, I, I don't want to say I felt like the richest guy in the world, but I had a degree of comfort that was different than what I had experienced before as a grownup. $2,500 was my number. Every time my balance, my bank balance went above that. Now mind you, I wasn't making a lot of money fresh out of college. I was making quite the opposite of that. But if I was able to save and accumulate over $2,500, every time the balance would get over that amount, I felt, I felt pretty damn good, man. If it got to $3,000 or even $3,500, I was on top of the world. And I remember those days. I remember looking at the balance thinking, not necessarily that I made it, but I'm on my way. I remember going to, early in my real estate career, I mean, I remember going to office meetings, brokerage meetings. And when I was asked to share best practices for a few minutes in front of all of my peers in the office, And those moments were incredibly, I mean, they're cherished moments for me. They were incredibly fulfilling in that I felt like I was being acknowledged, but I also got to give back. And it was just for a few minutes in front of probably a crowd of 20 or 30, maybe 40 tops. I remember when I was able to gift somebody $100, you know, it was for, it was for a birthday, a 16th birthday. And I gave that person $100. And I gave them $100 because I remember on one of my birthdays when I was a teenager, someone gave me $100. I was like, wow, that is a massive gift. I can't believe someone gave that to me. And as crazy as it sounds, I would— I remember giving $100 thinking, wow, I finally did it. Like, I was able to be the guy that gifted that large amount. I remember, as crazy as it sounds, you know, when I was younger, when I was in my 20s, we used to grill and have some friends over, whatever it may be, and, you know, pool parties, whatever it was. And I remember splurging on the grass-fed steak versus the, versus the cheaper one. And I was like, yeah, yeah, life is good. Life couldn't be better. Last one I'll mention, I was just thinking about it earlier today because my, my 15th wedding anniversary is coming up here. And I remember, uh, it was one of our first, maybe first, second, third anniversary And we went away to Maui. And I splurged. I splurged. And for a portion of our vacation, we had ocean view from our hotel room. Now I share all these things, right? Because when I reflect on them, that was— those were big, big accomplishments in my world. For whatever reason, they were the norm. Like if I could reach that, that was like, that was the norm, that was the level. And I've recognized that as you kind of become more successful, the things I just described, man, they don't feel sufficient. They hardly feel sufficient. As a matter of fact, in certain areas, bank balance, type of vacation or room, type of food I'm eating, the amount of time I get with a microphone in my hand, The areas that I like, if I look at those areas today, I want far more than I even have right now. Yet years ago, the stuff I outlined, not only was it enough, it felt great. It felt amazing. And so the point I'm trying to make and what Ryan Holiday made me think about is when we become successful, we start to forget how strong we used to be. We start to forget where the bar was once set. We forget how little we actually needed to be fulfilled, to feel great. Just the things I mentioned that were huge to me in that moment. You know, I forget how great those things felt. And now I've got to give a bigger gift. Now I've got to have a better room. Now I've got to have different food, or I've got to have more in my bank account. But you think back, man, I was so happy when I, when I had those things. So what's the point? We're so used to what we have, but it's just our comfort talking. What, what I'm trying to get at is to remember, or at least for me, I got to remember that if things suddenly went haywire on me, things suddenly went wrong, my world somehow collapsed financially, business-wise, whatever it may be. If all of that happened, my actual needs are pretty small. Your actual needs are pretty small. When you reflect, reflect back on those big moments that don't seem so big to you today, your actual needs are small. There's very little that can happen that would really threaten your survival. There's little that can happen in my world that would threaten my existence. So if you think about that, where am I going? I think maybe we gotta adjust our worries and our fears accordingly. You know, I'm just personally reflecting. I get so worked up around a variety of things. If I just think back to once, what once was, and how happy I was and stop letting the comfort do all the talking, remember where the bar was once set and be grateful for the gain, you know, and recognize the gain, I could adjust my worries and again, my fears accordingly. So the focusing question for you is to take a moment and ask yourself, man, what did I use to consider, you know, the ceiling? What was I aiming for? And when I got those things, how did I feel? How happy was I? Now, I'm not saying lower your standards. Let's be super clear. I'm not saying don't go out and strive to hit massive goals. But I am asking in the focusing question to bring some awareness back to what it is that once made you super happy. And just be aware, your actual needs are pretty small. And there's not a lot that can happen. That's really going to threaten you in terms of your happiness, given what once made you so damn happy. That's all we have for today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.