Brian Gubernick explores integrity as the alignment of your words and actions with your values. He learned from mentor Mac Newton that integrity matters most when no one is watching, and that living with it strengthens self-esteem while compromising it erodes how you feel about yourself.
Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today I want to talk about being true to yourself and the word of integrity. So being true to yourself, and I want to discuss integrity. I'm going to talk about it though, as shared, the lesson shared by friend of our podcast and my mentor, Mac Newton. Mac used to run, years and years ago, used to run a radio show. It was actually, it was here in Phoenix. It's called the Mac Newton Power Hour. And at the end of Mac Newton Power Hour, he'd say to all the listeners, his kind of closeout, you know, catchphrase was, be true to yourself. And people would then always ask him, well, what do you mean when you say that? What Mac was talking about is integrity. Mac believes the word integrity is the most important value word of them all. He had said that, you know, he had once heard that integrity is not so much a value in itself. It is rather the value that guarantees all of the other values that, that show up in life. As we mature and we develop our own values and our own standards, or we absorb values and standards from others, The issue of personal integrity assumes increasing importance. Once you've decided that you're going to live consistent with a value, your level of integrity determines whether or not you follow through on, on this commitment. What exactly then is integrity? Integrity as defined by Mack is the integration of ideals, of convictions, of beliefs, of values, and of behavior. When our behavior is in fact in harmony with our professed values, when our ideals and our practices match, we have integrity. It's, it's really just that simple. When our words and our actions are congruent, we are acting with integrity. The more you discipline yourself to live consistent with the very best you know, the greater is your level of integrity and the higher your level of personal integrity, the happier and more effective and more powerful you will feel in, in virtually everything that you do. When you live this way, You're being true to yourself. In other words, you start to like yourself more. Personal integrity asks questions like, am I honest, reliable, and trustworthy? Do I keep my promises? Do I do what I say I'm going to do? And do I not do what I say I don't do? Being true to yourself makes it easy. For you to be your own best friend and really easy for others to like you. So whenever you lose self-esteem by behavior that lacks integrity, the only way that you can restore it is with behavior that displays integrity. So according to Mack, this is a really crucial point. So if you've lost self-esteem by behaving in a way that lacks in integrity, You can't restore it by donating money to a charity. You can't restore it by just being nicer to people. Those are nice things to do, but they don't by themselves restore the integrity or the amount of, of self-liking self-esteem that's lost. The only way to restore self-esteem is with behavior that has integrity. When your thoughts and your actions match, when your words and your behavior match, you will restore your self-liking and your self-esteem. Without integrity though, without being true to yourself, you just drift. You just drift like a boat down a river, you know, without a motor, without an oar, without any way to give direction. You're asking yourself, you're kind of lost, like, where am I going? Why isn't anything working for me? As Mac would teach, teach us, he's taught me, truly great men and women are always described as having high levels of integrity. Being great is almost synonymous with having integrity. Those that are great, those that live with integrity, they live their lives, lives consistent with their highest values, especially when no one is looking. And frankly, that's the only time that it really matters to act with integrity when no one is looking. See, it's easy to do it when others are looking at you. When no one is looking, that's, that's the time that really matters. How do you behave when no one is watching? For example, when you leave a room, and, and you were the only one in the room. Do you leave it the same way you found it? Even when no one is aware you were there or of your behavior? This is, this is courtesy, of course, but courtesy contributes to your sense of integrity and your sense of self-esteem. Mediocre men and women, on the other hand, are always looking for shortcuts. Backing out of commitments, compromising their integrity, especially when no one is watching. This behavior undermines their sense of self-esteem and their self-worth. They're saying that, you know, my opinion about myself doesn't matter, only the opinions of others who may be watching me. When you act out of integrity, you know, when you don't act with integrity, when no one else is watching, that's what it's saying. Interestingly though, integrity doesn't guarantee that we're always going to make the best choices. It only asks that our effort to find the best choice is real. It asks that our effort to find the best choice is, is, is real. It's authentic. Integrity asks that we stay connected with our knowledge and our experience, and we take responsibility for all of our choices and their consequences and not attempt to escape into some mental fog. There are people we know that we trust and people we know that we don't trust. The people we trust have words and actions that match, and the people we don't trust, it's the opposite. So I think the key takeaway here is to always make your words and your actions and your thoughts and your behaviors match. That is being the true— that is being true to you. And that is acting with integrity. So the focusing question for you today, how's your behavior? Are you showing up with integrity? Are you showing up with integrity when others are watching? And more importantly, are you displaying integrity when, when, when nobody is watching? Really, really good question to ask. Are you being true? You know, I'd say in conclusion, are you being true to yourself? That's all we have for today, the No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
Ep 755 | Mack Newton's Words of Wisdom - "You Are Only as Big as Your Self-Concept" (REPLAY)
