In this solo episode of the No Days Off podcast, host Brian Gubernick explores why children appear happier than adults and proposes that adults can boost their own wellbeing by adopting child‑like habits. He begins with a personal anecdote about the nostalgic phrase “those were the days,” then asks whether kids are truly happier. He outlines six core traits he believes give children a happiness edge: (1) they don’t care about others’ opinions, (2) they speak bluntly and avoid white lies, (3) they let their imaginations roam and engage in creative play, (4) they quickly forgive and don’t hold grudges, (5) they possess blind optimism and fearlessness, and (6) they constantly seek new experiences. For each trait he explains how adult social conditioning, fear of judgment, and habitual rumination erode the same quality, leading to reduced happiness. He cites a study reporting an average of 11 white lies per person per week to illustrate adult dishonesty. He concludes by urging listeners to reflect on where they stand on these traits, consider how they have changed since childhood, and identify concrete steps to re‑introduce child‑like behaviors—such as shedding concern over perception, embracing honesty, allowing mind‑wandering, practicing forgiveness, cultivating optimism, and pursuing novel activities—to become happier day by day.
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Thank you for joining me. It's Brian Gubernick and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today I want to talk about happiness, more specifically, the reasons why children tend to be happier than adults. So I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine, a guy I've known a long time, and he made this subtle comment that many of us have probably used before. He said to me something along the lines of, man, those were, those were really the days. He was referring to when we were kids. He said, those were the days. And that phrase, it's one that adults find themselves saying all the time, or oftentimes, when they see that you know, being a kid was a heck of a lot of fun. When they recall their childhood and think, gosh, there wasn't a lot of responsibility or worry or expectation back then. And it was happier times. And, and he said that, and I got to thinking about it a little bit more as to that phrase. And naturally, like I tend to do, I started thinking about it in my, my mind, and I started asking questions. And I, and I asked the question, gosh, are kids really happier than adults? And as I've been observing just children in public and all, I think the answer is yes. But why is that? Why do these kids look so much happier than the adults that they're walking right next to? And here's what I believe. Here's, here's the reasons I've come up with. There's probably a lot more than what, what I have here, but I want to go through my list, share with you why I think kids are happier than adults. And then of course, ask the question, what could we be doing differently as adults to become a bit happier. Number 1, kids don't really care what other people think of them. They just don't. Like, watch a kid in public. Kids dancing, kids singing, kids wearing whatever they want. They have no inhibitions. But as people get older, we start to care a lot more about what people think. We start to curb our behavior. We start to be, you know, be worried a bit more about our perception. How we're being perceived. As a result, we become a little more tense, more stressed, and I think less happy in comparison to kids. So first and foremost, kids just don't care what other people think of them. And I think as a result, they're a bit happier. Next, kids say what they mean. Kids are just honest to a fault. Sometimes they'll tell you if they don't like Your shoes. They'll tell you if the story you're giving them is boring. They'll tell you if their food, the food they're eating, they just don't like. It's not good regardless of who made it and how much effort went into it. Kids just say what they mean. Adults, on the other hand, tell a lot of white lies. As a matter of fact, a report I recently read said an average of 11 white lies are told per person per week. I don't know how they did this research, but they did. And they found again that telling these white lies, avoiding these mistruths, the semi, uh, some degree, it happens 11 times. Kids just tell you straight up how it is. They don't even think about this stuff. So they're not making false excuses. They're not dancing. They're not laughing off uncomfortable conversations or just trying to change the subject. No, that's what adults are doing. Kids, They just are straight honest. And as a result, I think they have less worry. Again, they're happier. Next thing, kids have a tendency to just let their minds wander. They're creative. Give a car— give a kid a cardboard box or bubble wrap and you'll get hours of uninterrupted make-believe fun. They let their imaginations run wild. They have true creativity. Now, as adults, we could do the same if we had the time. If we allowed ourselves to let our minds wander. We could do it. But we're rarely open to this sort of new experience, and instead stick to whatever we're doing at the time. Kids are happier because they let their minds wander and they get creative. And it's a fun exercise for them. Kids don't hold grudges. This is one we've talked about in a previous episode. Kids don't hold grudges. I mean, you've seen a kid get in an argument or fight with one of their peers. And literally 3 minutes later, they're back playing together, holding hands. Adults, on the other hand, they get in an argument, and that could be the end of their relationship for eternity. Kids have short memories. Grown-ups, we have trouble letting go of resentment and regret and negative emotions to the extent that kids, man, they just, they just move on. And so they have, you know, a stronger mental well-being, especially in this particular area. They just don't hold grudges. So they're happier. Kids also exude blind optimism. Like kids literally are born with limitless potential. And most kids tend to be pretty fearless and they're unbothered by external restrictions. Adults, on the other hand, we lose that blind optimism. We become weathered. We experience things that jade, you know, our future perspective. And as a result, we've got to work on positive thinking. We got to work on affirmations. We got to work on our mindset. And these are all great things, but it's not blind optimism at that point. Kids have blind optimism. They exude it and it makes them happier. Last thing that comes to mind for me, and again, there's a lot more than this, but last thing that comes to mind for me, kids are always seeking out new experiences. They don't worry about coloring in between the lines. They're eager to play new games. They're eager to meet new people and have new conversations. They try things out, even if they perceive there's risk, they just go for it. Kids seek new experiences. And this character trait probably drops by half as we get into adulthood. So adults, on the other hand, we get comfortable. We even get complacent. But Research will show that how much a person values new experiences is a crucial predictor of wellbeing. So in other words, your wellbeing is dependent on experiencing new things. Kids do it all day long. Adults stop. As a result, one can make an argument that kids are happier. Now, there are lots of other reasons than what I just shared. But clearly not caring what people think about you, being more creative and letting your mind wander, saying what you mean, letting go of grudges, not even holding them, not even being able to define them, having blind optimism and having new experiences. These things lead to happiness. You can't argue that. And I really think that kids exude a lot more happy— experience a lot more happiness, exude a lot more happiness than adults. And so it begs the question, the focusing question, of the list I went through, or maybe some other things like, where are you at with respect to those characteristics? How have you evolved and changed since you were a kid? How has this impacted your happiness? And most importantly, what do you need to change starting today to become a kid again, at least in some regard, and as a result, become a bit happier than you were yesterday? That's all we have for today. No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
