Ep 213 | Give Expecting Nothing in Return

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today I want to talk about giving without expectation, giving expecting nothing in return. I am a huge fan of Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary V. Many of you listening to the No Days Off podcast probably feel the same. I think the guy is brilliant. I love his hustle. I love the way he thinks. And I especially love how giving this guy is. To be honest with you, I think that he has greatly influenced the way I approach business and life in that he has shaped— helped shape me to be an even more giving person than I hope I was to start. And I think he shaped me because I've heard so many of his stories and I've been the recipient of so much of his giving, not necessarily to me personally. I don't have a personal relationship, but the amount of content and education and knowledge that he puts out in the world and the transparency and honesty that he, that he brings with it is second to none. Gary is a serial entrepreneur. Most of you probably know Gary in some way, be it his podcasts or his nonstop videos or the books he's written. One of my favorite books of his is Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook. It's one of the earlier ones of his I read. And in that book, Gary really describes that he likes to give as much as he can to people before he ever has the audacity to go in and go in for the ask, go in for the sale. This is his go-to philosophy, not just in sales, but in life. And by the way, it doesn't always work, but he's okay with that. Gary says that this mentality of giving is just a way of life. And being a good person on the front end of things is always the best option. Regardless of what the potential outcome or payout might be. Now, Gary tells lots of stories. If you know his history, he ran something called the Wine Library, going all the way back. His father had a wine store and Gary would make videos about wine, educating people on types of wine and types of grapes and why it tastes this way and how aging it, you know, applies to the process. And he would go on and on and all he would do is teach nonstop. And the strategy was, the thought was, I'm passionate about this. I want to give this knowledge to others. And who knows, maybe over the course of time, they'll give me something back if it works out that way. And people described Gary in saying that he gave them so much knowledge and energy. His videos taught them so much about this hobby of theirs around collecting wine or drinking wine, whatever it may be. That they felt like they had to give him something back in return. I saw an interview once where a guy said, Gary gave me so much knowledge around wine that anything, if he asked for the shirt off my back, I would have given it to him. That's how much this guy gives. Again, this is his go-to philosophy. Gary tells a story about someone needing a bottle of wine in a snowstorm. So he delivers a case of this low-end wine. It was during the holiday season and he didn't have to do it. Certainly wasn't doing it for the profit. This is years back, but it was a valued customer and he wanted to show his appreciation. And he also wanted to show his employees how maybe they should be approaching customer relations. And so that's what he went out and did. A few weeks later though, the customer's wealthy family member called Gary and placed an order for a massive quantity of wine. Gary had no idea this was ever going to happen. Of course he could not, and he could not have known that. And who knows, maybe it would have happened regardless. But to Gary's point, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that he went out of his way to put his customer first and it ended up working out in his favor too. So regardless of what that customer did, it was irrelevant. He felt good about himself and that pays a dividend in and of itself. Now, in order to be a giver, you got to believe that relationships are incredibly important to you, whether it's friends, whether it's family, it doesn't so much matter. You've got to believe in relationships to give. In order to build and maintain those relationships, there has to be some sort of value exchange. I like Gary's thoughts around what I'm about to say here though. There needs to be a value exchange in order for relationships to flourish. You've, you've got to provide value. I have to provide value. For Gary though, he prefers to give 51% of the relationship. He likes that leverage. It might sound somewhat dark as he describes it, but that's just the way he operates. And he thinks there's tremendous value in having that sort of outlook. He wants to be the one giving at a higher level than he is receiving. And so the relationships this guy has built, the opportunities that have been created over his life, You can trace a lot of this stuff back to just his overall philosophy in life, to give expecting nothing in return. It might not always work out. You might get taken advantage of, but he feels a heck of a lot better about how he goes about doing life, how he going through life, how he feels about doing sales. He believes that we're blessed living in a time where we can communicate our stories and so through so many different mediums. And the simple fact that he puts content out there and people listen to it humbles him. He knows again, it's not going to make a sale every time. He doesn't expect it to though. If he has one person listen, one person read, one person follow, then he's going to continue to give because his intentions are pure. And because he knows that it has an effect on so many people. And again, it just makes them feel a certain way. So when you put others in front of yourself, whether you intend to do it or it's unintended, crazy things just tend to happen. It tends to be almost magical, be it in life, be it in business, be it in relationships. If you seek to be a giver first, if you can give without expectation, then you've only got upside. You've got everything to gain. It's a pretty easy thing for you to implement in your world too, by the way. It's an easy trait to acquire. Everybody can work towards this. Again, not only will it make you feel good, but it'll provide you leverage that you can utilize if the, if the opportunity ever comes about. Reputationally, it provides you massive air cover. It just feels good to be a great person. So on that note, I would ask you as we wrap up here, how can you increase the amount at which you give? Giving value, giving aid, giving support, giving an ear, whatever it may be. How can you ratchet that up just a slight bit starting today? I don't know if you should expect any sort of result. Outside of just feeling better. But if you did that consistently over time, watch how that plays out in your world. I would bet that things might look a little bit better, a little bit different than they do today. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]