Brian Gubernick explores how quiet, targeted communication often works better than loud broadcasting. A Zoom participant's phrase captures it: sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream. He shares examples from family and business where speaking softly or staying silent commands more attention than forceful noise.
Chapters
Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today I want to talk about communication, how to more effectively communicate your message, and I'd like to talk around communication by starting with, with a story, an experience I just recently had. Where I was on a Zoom call with two other individuals. And I was more of an observer of this call. And the two individuals were having a conversation. It was somewhat emotionally charged. It was somewhat of a sensitive topic. They both did a great job in maintaining themselves. And, and so I really, you know, liked to step back and observe how they were handling themselves. And they both did it, like I said, a great job. But one party had said to the other, in attempting to convey the approach that he wanted to take. He said, sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream. And I'd never heard anybody make that statement before. I'm going to guess some of you have probably heard it. I just had never heard someone say it in that way. What he was specifically referring to was saying, hey, we can go you know, on social media, we can go shout this out in front of groups, but we're going to be more effective in talking with one influential individual that can help us drive to the outcome we desire. His example here, by going to that individual, was a whisper versus the scream being going to social media. Now that's just an example of how this, this statement might apply, but you can think of a ton of other Scenarios where sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream. And that whisper refers to different methods by which you communicate. Now, what is this? What does this phrase even mean? What I take it to mean is that sometimes a subtle or quiet expression can actually have a more impactful and more powerful, you know, impact than being loud or being forceful. In certain situations, gentle, even understated messages or understated actions might be more effective in conveying a message, might do a better job in capturing attention. It might influence others in comparison to a more aggressive, more overt approach. The idea behind this saying is that the effectiveness of communication or influence is not solely determined by the volume or the intensity of the expression. Now I want to pause right here because I am certainly guilty of making this mistake where I want to convey a message and I have a natural tendency to increase my intensity or increase my volume in an effort to get my point across. But this statement, sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream, would suggest that maybe I need to check myself, recognize that increasing my volume and intensity is not likely to drive to the outcome that I desire. But a whisper, which is metaphorically representing a subtle or more thoughtful approach, can actually carry more weight. It will have a deeper impact, and it may resonate more strongly than my normal method by which I'd approach it. Now, Well, let's recognize, right, in every conversation there's going to be nuance. There's going to be different strategies to deploy. There's going to be different ways to communicate. And so, you know, I'm using a rather, rather specific statement and trying to apply it broadly, but I think in every scenario it's applicable in that the whisper varies and the volume varies. But I think you know what I'm saying here. Now, as I was thinking about this, this statement after I heard it, I also thought of a statement we've all probably heard before, a phrase we've all heard, or I should say a proverb, which is silence is golden. The statement, sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream, is actually really similar to the proverb silence is golden because both expressions again convey the idea that there's instances when being quiet or being subtle is more effective. Letting the silence do the work for you. Silence is golden is really just emphasizing the value of staying quiet, right? Refraining from speech in certain situations, saying nothing, maintaining silence sometimes is far more beneficial, might be far more wise, and is actually more powerful in many situations than speaking out. So in both of these cases, silence is golden, as well as, you know, sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream. Both of these cases are very strategic. Like both of these phrases, you can use this, these mechanisms or these methods strategically. There are strategies to deploy in an effort to become a more effective communicator. You've got to recognize that there are times to maybe elevate your intensity and even your tonality, your voice. And there are times where a more subtle, quiet response goes a longer way. I could think of many times in my life where, where silence or a whisper created a, created a different response or a different outcome than I would have had if I had taken a different approach. When I think about a number of different relationships, be it with my wife or my kids or in business. Sometimes just listening and allowing the silence between, you know, our statements do some work for us. It changes the outcome of that meeting. It changes the way we process things. It allows us some time and some space and the subtleness or the more quiet demeanor or tone diffuses certain situations. It's more impactful. You know, I have a, you know, a business partner who's a master of this. He's absolutely a master of using the understated, even discreet communication that is the whisper. That is, that is the, to the point where he will speak at a lower volume. So you on the other side of the conversation, you have to lean in or listen more intently or closely to what he's saying. He does it to gain a bit more control over the conversation, to make things a bit more calm so as to not let things get out of control. It is very, very strategic and it is incredibly effective when conveying a message or creating an impression. So the focusing question for you today, where can you begin to lower your volume, diffuse the emotion a bit, leverage a whisper as opposed to a scream, as well as let silence do some work for you. Where is there an opportunity for you to do this? Is it in business? Is it in personal relationships? Communicating in both of those areas? How could you become a more effective communicator in leveraging, you know, this lower tonality as well as the silence? Something to think about today. That's all we have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]
