Ep 292 | The Dan Sullivan Question

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. In this crazy world that we live in, where there is continually increasing complexity and everybody is fighting to take a piece of attention from someone else. How do you go about differentiating yourself in a client presentation or in a meeting or just anything for that matter? How do you go about differentiating yourself from anyone else? It is so competitive out there and we've got to figure out ways to make an impression, make an impression that's different, from others that makes us, that allows for us to stand out. So how do you go about doing that? I believe one way that you can in fact do that is by asking powerful questions. More specifically, I think there's one question that you could ask that I wish I came up with, but I'm borrowing it from an individual that once coached me as I was in his mastermind, a guy named Dan Sullivan. As a matter of fact, Dan wrote a book called The Dan Sullivan Question, and it came out in 2010. So about 14 or so years ago, and I read that book, it's 80 or 90 pages, and it's essentially about this one question. And it's funny, but just reading about this question prompted me years later, about 8 years later, to find myself in Dan Sullivan's mastermind. Like, I was so intrigued by what Dan had said years later. I ended up in his coaching program, in his mastermind. So what is this question that Dan asks? The question is, if we were having this discussion 3 years from today and you were looking back over those 3 years, what has to have happened in your life, both personally and professionally, for you to feel happy with your progress? Let me say it one more time. If we were having this discussion 3 years from today and you were looking back over those 3 years, what has to have happened? What has to have happened in your life, both personally and professionally, for you to feel happy with your progress? Ask this question and then don't say anything else until the person you're asking it of Response. Get real comfortable with the silence, that uncomfortable silence after you ask this question. If you have to be, give people as much time as they need to answer the question. Don't be surprised if it takes them 15, 30, maybe an hour to actually come up with a solid answer to this question. Why is it so powerful? Here's why the question really enables people to simplify their personal and professional complexities. It provides a framework. It replaces confusion with clarity when they answer the component of the part of the question around what has to have happened for them to be happy with their progress. It converts this isolation of short— of sorts into confidence. When they realize that they actually have power and control around their own future, or can clarify at the very least their own future. These feelings of, you know, confusion, or dare I say powerlessness, they actually transform into feelings of feeling capable, of being capable, as a result of this new clarity and of this new confidence. This question, I've asked it of many, many people. I've asked it in job interviews, like when I'm interviewing someone, hey, tell me, you know, as you sit here today, 3 years from today, when you look back, like we're sitting in the future and it's 2027 and you look back over the past 3 years, what has to have happened in your life, in your personal life and in your professional life for you to feel happy with your progress? When I asked that question at some point in an interview, And then just sit back and just watch people talk and almost kind of self-discover. It's an amazing way to get to know somebody. It's an amazing way to even coach someone, even though you're not even attempting to truly influence the outcome. You're giving them such a powerful question. The question that Dan calls the R factor question, R standing for relationship. You ask the question, you sit back. And it's— and the responses just bring you closer to that individual, at least in understanding their motivation. Now there's a follow-up question that you may want to ask. It's an add-on question. It's secondary, but it's also pretty darn powerful. It really boosts the emotional impact of the first question. And that follow-up question is, specifically, what dangers do you have now that need to be eliminated, what opportunities need to be captured, and what strengths need to be maximized. So what dangers do you have now that need to be eliminated? What opportunities need to be captured or seized? And what strengths need to be maximized? This question makes it easy for people to articulate what is most important to them by making them really think inside this particular structure. And it uses powerful, what I would call motivating emotions. So you're really digging deep and getting them to think. Even the most rational of people start thinking from these, from this emotional kind of foundation. So why am I sharing this with you today? I think everyone here at the No Days Off Podcast or listening to the No Days Off Podcast, You are finding yourselves in positions where you need to get to know someone at a deeper level. Maybe you need to earn, uh, uh, the respect of someone. Maybe you need to get a better understanding around someone's motives or direction. Maybe you're just looking to influence, but until you could actually influence, you've got to do some discovery and understand what even motivates an individual. This question, When you ask it right, it gives the person that's answering a sense of emotional freedom, and it puts you in the right position in this subject's mind. It positions you really as someone who cares about them and someone who can maybe help them depending on, you know, the context in which you're asking the question. Fear can be a great power paralyzer, but this can potentially lower the fear as people work through it. So I think that you can use this. I think the focusing question, which is funny to say, given that this whole, this whole podcast today, this whole episode is about a question, but the focusing question for you is not only where can you leverage this question today, these kind of two questions, the one question plus the secondary question, where can you leverage these things today, but also how can you you personally leverage this question in your own life and your own professional world? It might be, you know, I love these whiteboard questions, what I call whiteboard questions, things that, you know, you, you write on a whiteboard and you stare at for a while. Then you start brainstorming and jot down your answers. If you asked yourself, or you thought to yourself, if I'm sitting here 3 years from today and I'm looking back over the past 3 years, what has to have happened in my life for me to feel both personally and professionally, like I've progressed, that I'm happy with my progress? I challenge you to ask yourself that question today. And then if you find yourself with some extra time, follow it up with what, you know, specifically understanding what dangers do you now have that need to be eliminated? What opportunities need to be captured and what strengths need to be maximized? If you want to read further into this question, Check out the book. Like I said, it was written in 2010 by Dan Sullivan called The Dan Sullivan Question. It's a good one. It's 88 pages. And I think you might learn a bit, but I think I gave you the crux of what everything's about. That's all I have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.