Ep 310 | Give, Give, Give, then Ask

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. One of my favorite entrepreneurs to exist, like, ever, uh, and I know that sounds like a pretty bold statement, especially because the name I'm going to give you is someone who is pretty new and recent and still very, very, very active. One of my favorite entrepreneurs to study, to follow, is a guy named Gary Vaynerchuk. Many of you are probably familiar with Gary Vee's work. He may have offended you at some time. I know from time to time he certainly makes some offensive statements, things that I don't even agree with. But of all the entrepreneurs, especially those current today. I've really found that I can most relate to a lot of what Gary Vee is talking around. Now, we run very, very different businesses. He's known for all that he's done in, in social media and grabbing attention and marketing. I'm in the real estate space. Very, very different industries, but his hustle, his desire to learn, and his desire to teach others. I just, I just love his message. I love what he does. Now, Gary Vee just recently came out with a new book, which is why he's top of mind. And I haven't even gone through his book yet, but I'm sure it's probably pretty good. But why am I talking about Gary Vee today? I want to talk about Gary's message. And the first time I saw his message was in a book he wrote quite a long time ago. Many of you have probably read it. It was called Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook. Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook. And what was that book about? It was a book talking around how we, or I should say businesses, should focus on delivering value and building relationships with their audience before making some sort of direct sales pitch. The metaphor of jabs, right, like in boxing, uh, there you use a jab, you use a right hook. The metaphor of jabs jabs represents the consistent value-driven content that you'd share with your audience, while the right hook signifies the occasional call to action, the direct call to action or the sales pitch. Gary emphasized that in a digital age, especially on social media, that you had to provide, and he still says this today, provide engaging and relevant content because that's crucial, it's critical to earning trust and earning the attention of potential, of potential customers. So this book, Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook, that's what it was all about. But the way I think about it in simple terms, Gary was trying to say give, give, give, and then ask. Give, give, give, and then ask. Businesses and individuals should focus on providing value. Providing value to their audience multiple times, many times over, asking nothing in return until finally, after you've provided so much value, you feel comfortable— it's almost crazy that you haven't even asked yet— making a direct request for something in return. Again, you're building trust, you're fostering relationships with the audience before you're doing anything. So give, right? Let's talk about— let's break down this concept a little further. I said 3 gives. So let's say give number 1: share valuable or helpful or entertaining content that resonates with the audience. Maybe this is through social media, maybe it's certain posts, maybe it's certain presentations, whatever it may— maybe it's just in an individual sales pitch, right? Like if you're selling to an individual, Can you give value? Can you give help? Can you entertain? And in doing so, resonate with the individual or the audience on the other side. The goal here is to establish a connection and to show that you genuinely care about your audience's needs and interests. The second give: continue to provide more value without asking for anything yet. Don't ask for anything in return. Build a sense of goodwill and trust. Demonstrate consistency and reliability in your interactions. Again, I want you to hear those words, demonstrate consistency. So the first give, maybe your recipient's like, okay, I know he's a salesperson, I know she's a salesperson, what's next? But then you give again, asking nothing in return. That builds this sense of goodwill and it demonstrates consistency, and reliability. Now you're being perceived different than so many others. Now, a third give: offer even more valuable content or resources. This persistent focus on giving reinforces the relationship and it solidifies your position as a trusted source. Now, we've gone through a handful of gives, and maybe this took a couple days, maybe this took a couple months. Hell, in certain situations for me, maybe it took a couple years, and I'll explain that here in a moment. But only after you've given do you then ask. And only after you've given enough and you've established a strong rapport should you make any sort of request. This request, again, could be a call to action, it could be a sales pitch, it could be a request for some form of engagement or support. And the only way you could do this is because you've built up trust and you've provided value. Now, Gary When I first heard him talk around this, uh, Gary talked about it in the terms of Wine Library. Like, I don't know if you know his whole backstory. I won't get too far into it, but his family had a, a wine store, uh, an alcohol, alcohol store, uh, and Gary, when he was young, younger, to pay his parents back for all that he says they did for them, he went to, he went online with the intent to build a presence for that alcohol business, for that wine business. And what he did was run this give, give, give, ask approach. How did he apply this approach? He gave. First, he, he started by creating and sharing free valuable content about wine. He, he actually launched this thing called Wine Library TV, which was a video blog where he would review wines and share wine tasting tips and and, and look at grapes and educate the audience about how wine works. I learned a lot about wine by watching Gary's YouTube videos, uh, this video blog. He consistently gave valuable information. It was free, and it established himself as an authority in the wine industry. Then he gave again. He continued to engage with the audience on social media, and, and he did this by actually responding to comments. I love this. Like, he didn't just get comments and, you know, he didn't do, did nothing with them. He actually would reply, he would engage, he would answer questions, and he'd offer even more insights and advice about wine. The community that he created therefore was incredible. And then he gave one more time, and he gave by continuing to innovate and deliver value by leveraging all different source forms of platform, like various platforms to reach his audience. He was on YouTube, but then he went to Twitter and he went to Facebook and he adapted his content to fit each platform's different features and its user preferences, but he always prioritized the audience's needs and interests. Finally, after giving and giving and giving, he made the ask. And what did he do? This came in the form of promoting Wine Library's products and his, and his father's liquor store products. And encouraging his audience to buy wine from, from his store. Now, he had already established trust, and he provided so much free value, his audience was incredibly inclined to make purchases and support his business. As a matter of fact, I saw a guy interviewed once, and the guy said that he felt like after Gary had educated him so much around wine and made him, you know, almost a wine connoisseur himself, he was willing to give his shirt off his back to Gary. And the guy was serious. He's like, this guy's— Gary's given so much to me, how can I not give back in return? This approach really allowed Gary Vee to grow Wine Library from the small local store into a multi-million dollar enterprise. And it's really what jump-started his career into the crazy things that he's involved in today. So, This whole give, give, give, ask concept, I think this applies in so many different places. And I mentioned something, I said I'd come back to this. I don't want you to think about this just in terms of sales, even though it is very applicable. If you have a business, if you're looking to sell a product or a service, I would ask you like, how are you giving? How are you giving? How are you giving so much free value, so much to your audience that they can't help but want to give back? How are you doing that? And if you're not, what could you start doing? But where I was going with this is, for me personally, this technique, this strategy has worked probably more for me in the recruiting or partnership space than it has anywhere else. In other words, there have been people I've identified in my life that I wanted to get in business with in some capacity. Maybe it was a deeper partnership, maybe it was a hire I wanted to make, maybe it was just somebody I wanted to go on a ride with. You know, and I didn't even know where that was going to be or what we'd be working on. And my mindset, right or wrong, was how could I support them, how can I give them, how can I, you know, uh, help them in some way, and never ask for anything in return. I didn't even know what to ask for in return probably when I was giving. But then one day something came up and I'm like, you know what, you know who would be a good fit for this role? So-and-so. Now mind you, I'd spent years assisting so-and-so, asking nothing in return. So when you go to that person, say, hey, what do you think of this opportunity? Or what do you think of this product? Or what do you think of this, you know, place I'd like to go and I want you to join me? I'm not saying they immediately say yes, but did they have a conversation that's a direct result? Of course they did. So again, this applies very much in sales, but I think it applies in relationships, especially business relationships. Just as much, if not more so. So focusing question for you: are you running this play? Are you running this approach? If you are, how can you double down on it? How can you give even more for an even extent— more for an extended period of time so that you never even have to ask? People might be coming to you. If you're not running this, this approach, how can you start doing it today? What does it look like? Are you teaching or training or just supporting someone's cause? Just always there, just giving, but never asking for anything in return. Adam Grant would call this a variation of strategic giving. We don't always give expecting things in return, but we can give knowing that, who knows, down the road maybe the door will be open for something. We just don't know what it is. I think this approach fares really well if you have a long-term mindset around your business and your future, right? If we're thinking about where we're going to go, not just in a month or even a year, but in 5 years, in 10 years, in 15 years, how does this giving mentality, this giving approach, set you up for success? I can tell you, in the 20-plus years I've been doing it, this has probably been one of the better strategies I've deployed And I'd like to think it was natural, but I also know I learned a ton from Gary Vee. So I wanna make sure I shout him out. But on that note, that's all we have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.