Brian Gubernick breaks down reciprocity, the automatic feeling of owing someone after they give you something. A server handing out two mints with a bill increases tips from 3% to over 14%. His five-step framework: be first to give, make it unexpected, personalize it, give something with real value, and stay consistent.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Last week, my partner Ben and I hosted one of our Metrics Masterminds events. Uh, as you know, we run them every quarter, and we had a 100+ top business owners here in Scottsdale for a couple-day meeting. We meet every quarter, like I said, and we get some great minds in the room. We cover a variety of topics. We also assign books, and one book that we assigned for our group to read was Robert Cialdini's book Influence. I want to talk about some of that book specifically. I want to focus on reciprocity. Which is one of the key ingredients to influence. Okay, so when Ben was teaching this section of the book, he referenced a story about the mint and the gratuity. The mint and the gratuity. So in a restaurant, right, server serves a, a customer, and at the conclusion of that meal, it's time to deliver the bill. Now, when that server delivers the bill, if that server serves a mint, like a mint, along with the bill, the gratuity has been shown to be increased by 3%. So, a single mint prompts the customer to increase gratuity by 3%. Now, when the amount of mints were doubled, so we go from 1 to 2, the gratuity was not doubled, it was actually quadrupled to an increase of over 14%. So we went from giving 1 mint in a bill that already prompted the customer to increase their gratuity by 3%. We now go to doubling the mints and the gratuity offered quadrupled. However, when the same amount of extra mints was delivered, but this time there was some sort of theatrics, the gratuity exploded to an astounding 23% increase. So not just was the bill given to the customer, a couple mints were given to the customer, and then there were some theatrics like 'Hey, I just wanted to personally thank you for coming in today. I hope you really enjoyed your time. I had a great time in serving you and your family. We appreciate you here at XYZ Restaurant.' Just theatrics of that nature, plus the 2 mints, earned that particular server almost a 25%, say a 23% increase in gratuity. So that is reciprocity in action. What is reciprocity? It's when one person does something for another that, that the other person senses they owe a debt of some sort and they're compelled to repay. Why does reciprocity work like this? Because like all of the principles of influence within the book, reciprocity is a shortcut It's a default behavior for people in, in making decisions. So how do we go about creating reciprocity? What's the— how do we leverage the art of reciprocity? Well, one way to go about doing that is through gift giving. Number 1, be the first to offer a gift. Make that gift something that's unexpected. You offer mint, you offer 2 mints, We expected to receive a bill. We didn't expect to receive a couple mints. Number 2, personalize it. The gift must feel intended for the recipient. Now, in the, in the restaurant example, sure, the mints did not feel like they were specific or custom or personalized for the customer, but the action, the theatrics that I described, definitely did. So personalize the gift. Number 3 in, in, in the list of creating the action steps of creating reciprocity, the gift has to have some sort of tangible value for the recipient. There's got to be some sort of tangible value. Number 4, individualize and clarify who that gift is from. Is it from a company? That may not be the answer. But if it's from a person, that might be more powerful. And then lastly, in terms of creating reciprocity, be consistent and keep on giving. If you want greater reciprocity, continue to give. So again, quick recap. You want to create reciprocity, offer a gift, be the first one to do it and make it unexpected. Personalize it and make it feel like it's intended for the recipient. Make sure the gift has tangible value for the person receiving. Do your best to individualize it and clarify who it's from. And then be consistent and keep on giving. You do that with an individual, from an influence standpoint, it creates reciprocity. And again, what is reciprocity? When one person does something for another and the other person senses that a debt is owed and is compelled to repay. So we leverage reciprocity in all different forms within business, within life, within relationships. This is a good thing. This is something that occurs. So my mindset around this is if it's something that's functioning or happening in the world, then let's control it. Let's work on it. Let's develop it and use it to our benefit and the benefit of others. Whether you're in sales or, or looking to deepen a relationship, whatever it may be, This is just a tactic to consider. So, not so much a focusing question for you today, but action steps. How can you go about, or what steps are you going to take to apply reciprocity in your world today with a client, with an employee, with a peer, with a partner? How can you leverage these techniques that we just discussed, put them into action, and reap the benefit in the short and long term. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
