In this solo episode of the No Days Off podcast, host Brian Gubernick introduces the concept he calls “the art of the pause”—the practice of deliberately taking a brief moment before responding in conversations, business decisions, or personal interactions. He explains how, earlier in his life, he tended to react impulsively, which often led to sub‑optimal outcomes. By pausing for 5‑15 seconds (or longer when possible) he can reduce emotional reactivity, increase logical clarity, and act with greater empathy. During the pause he runs through a set of six reflective questions: (1) What outcome do I want? (2) How would I feel in the other person’s shoes? (3) Is my initial reaction based on fact, emotion, or assumption? (4) Will this matter tomorrow, next week, or later? (5) Does this response reflect my best self? (6) What are the potential costs and benefits? He describes how each question guides the response toward alignment with goals, values, and long‑term perspective. Gubernick shares that applying this habit has improved his relationships, decision‑making, and overall effectiveness. He ends with a concrete challenge for listeners to practice the pause and run through the six questions the next time they face a decision or conversation, reinforcing the No Days Off mantra that every day is an opportunity to get better.
Chapters
Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. As I've gotten older, experienced more life, and had more experience in business, I've learned a lot of different things. I'm going to guess many of you listening to the No Days Off podcast probably have had similar experiences as with time, we hope to grow a little wiser based on experiences and just things we've learned from others through observation or whatever it may be, through, through just our, our day-to-day interactions. One thing that I've learned that served me really well and that I frankly still work on pretty diligently today to get better at is what I'd like to call the art of the pause. Now, what am I talking about, art of the pause? What I'm really talking about is learning to take a moment before responding in different situations. See, when I was, when I was younger, less experienced in life and business and relationships, I, I was always quick to respond, meaning that I didn't give a lot of thought to my response. I wasn't nearly as calculated. I was somewhat impatient. And so while sometimes I'd respond and it was the right response for the moment, or it was appropriate for the, for the conversation or for, for the scenario at hand, oftentimes it was wrong. And it was wrong simply because I may have rushed to a certain position or stance or judgment. Today, again, after years of, of being at this, this thing called life and this thing called business, I've learned to take a moment before I respond. When I take a moment, when I pause, it allows me to better control my reaction. It allows me to react with less, less emotion. I can be a bit more logical. I can display more empathy, and I could limit the quick to judgment mentality that I sometimes have displayed in years past. So in, in learning the pause, it has really helped me just be more successful in a whole number of areas in life and in business and in relationships. So it is just like it sounds. We're in a conversation, maybe it's heated, maybe it's not, it's just a conversation in general, or we're in a situation And oftentimes we are just quick. We have a knee-jerk reaction or response. But what I found is taking 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 15 seconds to just stop, to just pause, to just breathe, and more importantly, to think. It's led to a more successful reply. Now, there's a handful of questions that I actually run through through in my mind during this period of pause that prompt me to react or respond in a more constructive manner. I figured I'd share with our No Days Off Nation today the 5 or 6 questions that I like to ask myself in the moment. And maybe it's 1 or 2 of these questions if it's only 5 or 10 seconds, but if I'm able to take a little bit more time and pause, I'll give you the 6 questions that I regularly run through in my mind in no exact order. I think I just weight them differently depending on the situation at hand. So number 1, first question I'll ask myself during this moment of pause: What outcome do I want from this interaction or in responding to this situation? What's the outcome I want? The idea here is I want to focus my attention on the goal rather than reacting impulsively. And what this does is align my response with the desired result. So something is said or a situation occurs, I pause and I ask, what's the outcome I really want from this interaction? What's the goal here? How do I align my response with that desired result? Number 2, I like to ask myself specifically in a conversation, how would I feel if I was in the other party's position? How would I feel if I was in their position? My objective here when asking that question, how would I feel if I was in their shoes, if I was in their position? My objective is to build empathy. I want to, I want to work hard to consider the other person's perspective, even though I may disagree in the very moment. I want to try to see it from their lens and create some degree of space for a more understanding response. This pause of 5 seconds, 10 seconds, a minute, whatever it may be, allows me to consider the other person's perspective, and it makes for more thoughtful, understanding response. Number 3, I like to ask myself, especially right at the very second I take the pause, is my initial reaction, what's bubbling up inside me, is it based on fact? Is it based on emotion? Or is it based on an assumption? Is it fact, emotion, or assumption? My initial reaction. We all know, like, especially in conversations, but even in certain situations where a decision must be made, you feel something internally. You have a reaction. Is that reaction based on a fact? Is it based on just emotion, or is it based on some sort of assumption? What this does for me is help me separate the objective truth from the emotional reaction or from the biased reaction that I may have. I need to ground my response in reality. So I've got to ask a question: is this reality? Like, is it based on fact? And if my initial reaction is not based on fact and I find it to be driven by emotion or assumption, well, maybe I got to pause even longer and really think through how I'm going to react to the scenario. Number 4, and this is one that's really come been more prevalent, I should say, for me in the, in the past couple years. It's, it's kind of moved up the, the priority list in terms of questions to ask during the pause. Will this matter tomorrow? Will this matter in a week? Will it matter in a month or a year? Will this matter tomorrow? Will this matter in a week or a month or a year? What I'm trying to do here is, is, is kind of build some perspective. I want to make sure that my reaction is proportionate to the actual significance of the situation. If the situation has no long-term significance, my reaction, my reaction should definitely take that into consideration. I think many of us can relate to this one where we'll have a quick reaction or response, but the reality is like it doesn't, The situation, whatever's going on, doesn't even matter. It's not going to matter tomorrow or a week from now or a month from now. So why react in that way now? And that's not just in conversation. How about when you think there is some immediate business call that has to be made and you realize when you take a step back and you pause, man, this isn't even going to probably matter in a month. So why am I giving it so much energy right now? So again, I want to encourage perspective when I ask this question. Number 5, the 5th question I like to ask, and again, this is one that's probably just been developed as I've matured. What response here reflects the best version of me? What response here reflects my best self? I want to align my reaction with my values, with the person I aim to be. I want to make sure it's constructive and thoughtful. And again, I, I want to be a certain type of person. Is the way in which I'm going to respond, does it align with or reflect the best version of me? During this moment of pause, again, whether it's through a conversation or it's through a business decision or whatever it may be, during that moment of pause, is my reaction aligned with my values and the person I strive to be? Last question I like to ask, number 6, and this is the analytical side of me coming out. What are the potential costs and benefits of my response? What are the potential costs and benefits of my response? And sometimes I'll look at that, you know, the immediate benefits and costs as well as the long-term benefits and costs. So for me, this encourages me to evaluate the consequences a bit more of my reaction. I want to make sure it's measured and purposeful and again, is aligned with those desired outcomes. I'm trying to balance these emotional impulses with practical considerations, and I want to minimize risks while maximizing value. So in summary, what I found is that pausing to reflect just in general, but pausing to reflect on these 6 questions transforms my— has transformed my interactions. It's helped me deepen relationships. It's helped me be a better decision maker because I'm able to maintain not just my composure, but I'm also able to operate with some degree of clarity. I think there's other techniques and I think there's other ways to reinforce this habit, but I think it starts with just taking time, just, just taking a pause. So my challenge for you today, the focusing question for you today, Eh, let's just call it a challenge, right? The challenge for you today is when you are confronted with a scenario, a relationship, or I'm sorry, a conversation that, uh, in a relationship, or a decision you need to make, be it a business decision or just a personal decision that you need to make, I want to challenge you today to pause. And that pause may be 5 seconds, 10 seconds, a minute, and I'd love to see you run through these questions one more time. What outcome do I want from this interaction? How would I feel if I was in that— the other side's shoes? Is my initial reaction based on fact, emotion, or assumption? Will this matter in a week or a month or a year? What response reflects my best self? And then lastly, what are the potential costs and benefits of my response, both in the immediate and in the long term? That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
