Ep 504 | The 2 Strategies That Help Me Accomplish More Every Day

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Just the other day, I was texting with a good friend and partner of mine, guy named Grant, and we were talking about a number of different subjects. And then Grant pivoted the conversation and he asked me the following question. He said, "Hey, you have so many different things going on at all times. How do you keep your mind clear and stay on top of them all?" You know, I thought about that response. My initial reaction was, Grant, you're crazy if you think that my mind is clear and I stay on top of everything. But I guess relatively speaking, I think I've gotten pretty good at managing a handful of things going on within my head and going on in the outside world— businesses, family, you know, the podcast, etc., etc. I think I definitely have a lot more work to do, but I've made some progress over the past, call it, 25 years in business and I've become a student of time management and maximizing opportunities and things like that, I probably learned a few things over the years. And I wanna share with you my response. It was not a very complex, you know, response at all. I wanna share with you what I thought about immediately after he asked that question and where I landed. And this is not a list of 14 or 22 things you've gotta do. I think I'm gonna give you just the 2 things that I responded with. That have made all the difference to me, the two most important things that have allowed me to maybe be involved in a few more things than the average person, yet still maintain a degree of sanity and efficiency and, and execution or purpose. So my response was that, uh, first, I say no to a lot of things. I say no to a lot of things. I say no to certain meetings. I say no to certain coffees. I say no to certain social events. But I also say no to responding to texts from time to time. I say no to looking at email from time to time. I say no to answering the phone. So number one, I've gotten pretty good at saying no. And then number 2, I've got— I got comfortable, and it took me a long time to do this, but I had to get comfortable a little while ago with the fact that I'm going to disappoint some people from time to time. I know that's a— it's an interesting thing to think around, like getting comfortable with the fact you're going to disappoint people. I don't like to disappoint anyone, but if I go back in time You know, I was the guy that would wake up in the middle of the night and jump on my computer because I forgot to email somebody back and I didn't want to let them down. It's not really the healthiest thing. And by the way, I was treating everything as though it was urgent. And that just wasn't the case. But I had to learn this. And when you start saying no to a variety of things, there are going to be people that take that personally. Or disappointed. I mean, I've experienced it and I don't like, again, to be clear, I don't like to disappoint anybody. But if you're going to get in, you know, aim to be insanely purposeful and efficient and execute at a high level, you can't appease everybody all of the time. So, what I want to talk about are these two strategies that have really helped me accomplish more every day. And if you like what I'm saying, I'll give you a couple action steps around these two things. So let's talk about the first one, really mastering the art of saying no. How do you eliminate distractions and, and, and really protect your time? And again, if you want to accomplish a lot, you've got to get great at this. I think you've got to get really clear on your priorities. Like, I, I mean, I know that, that we hear that all the time, but do you actually take the steps to get clarity around what matters most to you. I want you to close your eyes and envision yourself, say, one year from now. And I want you to picture yourself one year from now having accomplished everything that's important to you in your business, in your life, in your relationships, in your health. And I want you to write all that stuff down. I want you to write it all down. And I want you to visualize what that looks like. Once you've done that, and I want you to spend time on it, I truly believe this to be an exercise that we should go through. Once you write that all down and you're clear, then I want you to take yourself back to today, present time, and look at your calendar and look at your choices and ask yourself every moment, every, every decision each day, is this pushing me towards or holding me back from that vision of me accomplishing everything a year from now. Now, you're not gonna be perfect with nailing every action step it takes to get to where you wanna go, but I'll tell you, the clearer you get on the direction you wanna go, the better you get at saying no to those things that do not align with the priorities. I'm a big fan of the hell yes rule. Like, if you're gonna do something and it's gonna be on your calendar, I want you to say, I want you to feel like, It's a hell yeah, like hell yeah, that supports where I want to go, or hell yeah, that's— that puts my company towards its goals or my life towards the goal I have. And if it's not a hell yes, then it's probably a no for now. I think every opportunity, every request should be meeting that— meeting this simple test. Does this move me significantly closer to my biggest goals? And I also like the question, would I be excited to do this if it were happening tomorrow? I ask myself that a lot. When someone asks for me to contribute or do something or participate or asks for my time in any way, I do ask myself, hey, would I be excited to do this if it were happening tomorrow? And if the answer is no, I'm out. Now, if it's a strong yes, then I'm in. You know, I keep a not-to-do list, believe it or not. And I, I write down the things I need to stop doing just as much as I write down the things I need to do. So number one, you know, I think we got to get really clear on our priorities. Number two, I think we could preset boundaries so we can say no without any guilt. I think people oftentimes struggle with saying no because they feel put on the spot. So I actually believe, and this is the strategy, I think you have pre-scripted responses already prepared. It sounds crazy, I know, but you know how I feel about getting weird. If you're going to manage your time and say no, you've got to think through how you're going to respond so you're never on the spot. So a lot of times, uh, uh, I'll use— I'll say something to the effect of, I can't take that on right now, but I appreciate you thinking, thinking of me. Or I say, hey, I'm fully booked up, or I'm slammed the next week or two, can we revisit this in a few weeks? Or sometimes, and I've really learned to embrace this, I'll say something like, hey, respectfully, that's not a priority for me right now. I wish you the best of luck. And I stopped feeling bad about saying that sort of thing. So those two things really helped me drive to saying no more frequently to those things that just don't matter at this very second. Now, when it comes to getting comfortable with not pleasing everyone, which is the second strategy I gave you, uh, that's easier said than done. That is something I've had to develop over many years because, again, going back in time, I was the guy that would work around the clock. Oftentimes I was doing that, you know, because I, I didn't want to let anybody down. I didn't want to disappoint anybody, even though, you know, later in life I learned like nobody was expecting me to be on it at that second or respond in that moment, in my mind, it was a really difficult obstacle for me to overcome. So I had to stop seeking approval in a sense and start to really focus on what matters. And again, that had to do with getting comfortable not pleasing everyone. So number 1, I had to accept that I'm always disappointing someone, and that's by choice. Every yes to one thing is a no to something else. And I started really kind of tracking that. Like when I'd say yes to one thing, what am I saying no to? And I would look at the things I was saying no to and bring clarity to it, like bring awareness to it. That awareness started to change my behavior when I started thinking, what am I saying no to? And when I realized I was saying no to important things, I started to get a little bit more comfortable with the fact I can't please everyone. I had to decide who matters most. Like, I have a list, not necessarily written down, but I know in my mind, you know, the, the 8, 9, 10 people that truly do matter most. And therefore, when I have to make a decision, like if it's from one of those individuals, then it moves up the list. And if it's not, it may move down the list if my time doesn't allow for it. So, I would always like, you know, keep this list in my mind. And again, have a default behavior. I think the bigger component of this though is that I had to start to detach my worth from external approval because the fear of disappointing people comes from this, I guess, worrying, I should say, about, about their judgment. So I had to stop asking like, what will they think? And I had to reframe it a little bit. Again, I had to go back to, am I acting in alignment with my values? And asking a question like a, like a future casting question. Will this decision still make sense a year from now? So, I ask these questions of myself. I ask, am I doing this because I want to or because I'm just afraid to say no? I think these are really important. And then lastly, around this particular strategy, I think there's this development of thick skin. And the only way you do that is through exposure. The only way you do that is through time. Saying no gets easier the more you do it. I'm just— it's just the way it goes. So, you start small and you work your way up. And that's what I had to do. So, it was saying no to maybe a minor request today and then the next month or the next year, whatever, continuing to decline the bigger requests. And over time, I started to care less about everybody else's reactions. So, just some things to think around, around how to get more out of your day. I don't think I've got it nailed. I'm just sharing with you what's worked for me. And it's really helped me in my career in terms of, you know, keeping more things in mind and being more purposeful in my actions. Again, what it comes back to, what it comes back to is being able to say no, like mastering the art of saying no and then getting comfortable with the fact that you're just not going to please everyone. I want you to think around these things. Hopefully, I shared you a couple— shared with you a couple action items so that you can incorporate these strategies in your world today. And as a result, achieve more, do more, have deeper relationships, and get closer to those goals that you've set for yourself. Because if you're part of the No Days Off Nation, you'll likely have some really big ones that you cast out there. That's all I have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.