Ep 516 | Would You Still Do It? The Status Test for a Meaningful Life

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. If no one could see it, would you still buy it? If no one knew, would you still do it? I want you to think about that for a second. How much of what we chase is really for us? This question comes from Sahil Bloom, who I've been talking about here recently at the No Days Off podcast. He's got a great book that's out right now, and I just think the guy has a really good pulse on a number of things around, around wealth, well beyond just financial wealth. This question, if no one could see it, would you still buy it? And if no one knew, would you still do it? Those questions come from Sahil, and it forces us to reflect on whether our actions are driven by what I would say is intrinsic fulfillment, or if they're driven by external validation. In today's conversation, I want to break down what Sahil calls the, the bot status test. And why we chase status and, and maybe how we can think about things a little bit differently. We're also going to refer back to yesterday's podcast that hopefully you listen to. If not, make sure you go back to it. But yesterday's podcast when we talked about Molly Fletcher's energy audit, and I want to tie back to that and identify or discuss a little bit more what actually energizes us versus what we do just for show. And then lastly, you you can't have a conversation like this without calling on Naval Ravikant, who we haven't talked about in a little bit, but you know, I think Naval's one of the smartest guys on the planet, and I think he's got some thoughts around this subject as well. So there's this status trap, and I think, I think we chase it. Some of us chase it a bit more than others, but we all have chased it at some point. People often pursue things not because they truly want them, but because of how others may perceive them. For example, buying a luxury car. Do you buy the luxury car because you love cars, or do you love the status it may signal? Or taking a job for the title. Even though you may hate the job, have you ever considered a role because of its title? Or maybe it's posting about some experience. Maybe it's a vacation or a workout or an event. But you're posting about the experience for more social validation instead of personal joy. See, Naval Ravikant says about status, he says status games are negative sum. If you win, someone else loses. Real wealth is positive sum. Status, in my opinion, is about external ranking. However, wealth and happiness are really, from my perspective, more about internal freedom. So Sahil has this B.O.U.G.H.T. status test, B-O-U-G-H-T, B.O.U.G.H.T. status test. And the test, in the test, you really ask yourself these questions. You say, number 1, would I still do this if no one knew? Number 2, am I chasing this because it aligns with my values or because I want recognition? Number 3, does this make me truly happy or does it just signal success to others? Again, some real-world examples, buying an expensive watch. Do you love watches or is it about signaling wealth? Posting your workouts, is it about health or is it external validation? Going back to Naval, he says, "Play stupid games, play stupid games, win stupid prizes." In other words, chasing status leads to shallow rewards. Now, in yesterday's episode, and tying this back a little bit to that, we talked about the energy audit. What, what drains you versus what truly fills you? As Molly had taught us, some things we chase drain us. Things that drain us, maybe they're status-based pursuits. Others, other things energize us. These are probably true passions. So we need to audit our lives to see if we're spending energy on the right things. Remember, there's energy— Energizers, there's Drainers, and there's Neutrals. Now, to tie it back to the Status Test, many things we do for status are actually in the Drainers category. They take our energy away. Real fulfillment comes from spending more time on the Energizers and eliminating the status-based Drainers. So if posting on social media about your morning run is an Energizer, keep doing it. I'm all for it. But if you're just doing it for the likes and it stresses you out, maybe rethink it. Naval will tell us, if you can't see yourself doing something happily for 10 years, don't do it for a day. Well, long-term fulfillment, in my opinion, is about aligning your time and energy with what truly matters. So we've got to think differently and we've got to escape the trap. How do we do that? How do we shift from status to substance? I think we've got to focus on what fulfills us, not what looks good externally. And instead of seeking admiration, let's seek peace, seek progress. I think we've got to redefine wealth and success. True wealth is not needing status or needing validation. If your time and your relationships and your health are thriving, you are wealthy. So for the next big purchase or big decision, I want you to pause. And I want you to ask yourself, would I do this if no one knew? Would I do this if no one knew? I've been actually asking myself that question from time to time as of late, and I'm discovering, and it pains me to say it a little bit, I don't know if I'm all— if I would do a lot of things if no one knew about it. I feel like maybe that makes me a little shallow. I'm kind of wrestling with the thoughts that I'm personally having around it, but it was a great call-out. And I'll tell you, my decision-making process has changed a bit when I've added this "would I do this if no one knew" question. I'm starting to maybe think around reallocating time and reallocating money towards those things that, that really bring me true joy and not just approval. So in wrapping up today's episode, and there's a lot of different variables here between Naval and Molly and of course, Ahil Bloom's questions. But I think the final takeaway here is to stop playing status games. Play the game of real wealth, which is about freedom and fulfillment and peace of mind. I want you to try this Bot Status Test this week and see how it might change your decisions like it has mine. And again, go back to yesterday's episode and do a personal energy audit. Identify what truly energizes you and cut out what drains— what drains you. That's all I have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.