In this solo episode of the No Days Off podcast, host Brian Gubernick presents a framework he calls the "5 Peaks of Life," which maps how the amount of time we spend in five major life domains changes with age. He identifies the age ranges when time with friends (≈18‑mid‑20s), children (≈35‑40s), a significant other (≈65‑70), coworkers (≈20‑60), and alone (≈70+) peaks, and he offers concrete, actionable recommendations for each stage—such as investing in deep friendships early, being fully present with children during their dependent years, intentionally nurturing a partnership as children leave the nest, building meaningful work relationships while setting boundaries, and embracing purposeful solitude in later years. Throughout, Gubernick emphasizes the finite nature of time, the importance of intentionality to avoid end‑of‑life regret, and invites listeners to assess which peak they are currently in and make a specific change that week to maximize that phase.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. If you've been listening to the No Days Off podcast for some time, or if you've seen me present, or you've known me personally for some time, You know how serious I take time. I really believe that our time on this planet is finite and we must maximize our time throughout our life, right? Like, I refuse to have regrets at the very end of my life saying, "I wish I would have done this," or, "I wish I would have done that." Instead, I like to bring awareness to the various points in life and how much time may be left in different areas, and then take action, do something about it. Well, today I want to talk about the 5 peaks of life and how we can spend our time a bit wiser at every one of these stages. You've all probably thought about your time with friends and family and even time alone with yourself, and you probably inherently know that time in those respective areas It changes as you age. Your time with friends, for example, peaks at a certain time, and your time with your kids peaks at a different time. Your time alone skyrockets at a certain age. Well, today we're going to break down these 5 key time peaks in life, and then we're going to talk about how to make the most of each one, or at least my ideas or my thoughts around how to make the most of each one. I think this is a really, really important concept and one that we should really understand, especially as it pertains to our social interactions and how they change as we age. So the first peak, peak number one, we're gonna describe as time with friends. And time with friends actually peaks at the age of 18. It stays relatively high into your early and mid-20s, but then it starts to decline. So your late teens and your early 20s It's when we spend the most time with friends. And as careers and families and responsibilities grow, this number of course declines, and it declines pretty sharply before it starts to pick back up again in the later stages of life. So, if we know that our time with friends peaks at age 18 into our 20s, my recommendation or my action step, if that was my age right now, and I know some of our listeners are pretty early in life, relatively speaking, I would be investing in deep friendships. I'd be prioritizing quality over quantity. Now, for those a little bit later in life, I'd want to make sure I stay connected. I want to schedule regular calls or regular visits to maintain friendships over time. And then, of course, as it pertains to time with friends, I've got to adapt to change. I have to adapt to change. Friendships are going to evolve. So, I've got to embrace new ways of staying connected. We've all seen the Harvard study about happiness. And the number one thing cited in those that are happiest, relationships, social connection. So, your time peaks with friends at the age of 18, they call it mid-20s. So, lay some framework or groundwork there. Now, if you're well past that, it doesn't mean you can't go back and prioritize quality a little bit more and make sure you're staying connected. So, peak number 1 is your time with friends. Peak number 2 is time with children. This actually peaks at age 35. So, if you're my age, 46, yes, I still get a lot of time with my kids, but the reality is 11 years ago, when my daughters were very little, of course, I had an incredible amount of time with them. Your time with children peaks in your 30s and your 40s. Because those are your most active parenting years. It's when the children need you the most. They need your attention the most before they start to become independent. So, if this is the window in time in which you're operating, I have to encourage you to make sure you're fully present. Set boundaries with work to make sure that you're ensuring, you know, quality time with the kids. Make sure the memories count. Plan your experiences accordingly and then get mentally prepared for the shift that is going to happen because this phase is not going to last forever. So cherish it while, while it does. And there's some awareness here and you can feel bad about it or you can take action. And that's what a lot of this conversation is about. So peak number 2 was your time with your kids. Now peak number 3 is your time with your significant other. It actually peaks around ages 65 to 70. It peaks because the kids move out. It also peaks because your career starts to wind down for many of us, and couples start to spend significantly more time together. So if you're starting to enter that phase of life, I would consider figuring out ways to make sure you reignite the relationship. Like, make time for shared adventures and shared hobbies. I'd also really urge you to communicate openly. Use this phase of life to deepen emotional connection. And then, of course, you're at this planning phase, planning retirement, right? So, ensure that your goals are aligned, that you have shared interests beyond just work and kids. And I think for a lot of people, that's really challenging, but if we start thinking about it in advance, knowing that our time with our partner is going to peak in our, in our 60s, especially once the kids— I mean, once the kids are out, maybe that's in our 50s, but especially as we get to winding down our career and we see more of each other, knowing that that phase is going to come, we should plan accordingly. Peak number 4 is time with your coworkers. Now, time with coworkers really peaks from the age of, call it, 20 to 60, which is a really long phase of time. I think when you look at the chart, it's, it's really like, uh, coworker time, I think peaks in your maybe early 30s and then starts to gradually move down, but it's very gradual until you get to, you know, mid-50s and your 60s, which goes without saying is maybe in your retirement age. So it peaks because most of our waking hours from 20 to 60 are are spent working. I mean, working years are spent with your colleagues, and sometimes, or oftentimes, that's more than your family or friends. I mean, for me right now, I don't think it is more than time with family if I count weekends, but I've got, I've got work family I'm with 40, 50 hours a week for sure. So what do you do knowing that your time with co-workers is, is peaking during that phase? Build meaningful work relationships. You got— you have to do it. That's where you're spending your time. So make sure you have a strong network and it benefits your personal growth and your career success, but also set boundaries. Don't let work relationships take over your, your personal life. We have to be pretty sensitive to that. And then of course, kind of the theme over the past few days, make sure you pursue work that energizes you. If you're going to spend decades working, make sure it aligns with your values. And then peak number 5, the final peak we're going to discuss, is your time alone. And time alone, when you look at the chart, peaks after the age of 65. Actually, I think it peaks at the age of 70, and then, and then maybe even climbs from there. I think it, you know, depending on how long you, you live. But the charts will show like early 70s is when it really starts to peak, and it remains pretty high until until you expire, right? So if we know that, right, as retirement and aging sets in and time alone starts to dramatically increase, this can either be an empowering time or it could be an isolating one. It just depends on how you approach it. So my thoughts around this, and I'm not at this phase, but when I think around, okay, what can I do now that I have this knowledge around when my time alone is likely to peak, is embrace the solitude. You know, use the alone time to focus on personal growth and on hobbies and self-care, but stay socially connected, right? Like, if you know you're at risk of being alone, be more purposeful in staying socially connected. Maintain strong ties with family, with friends, so you avoid loneliness. I said time alone. That doesn't necessarily have to be loneliness. And of course, prioritize health and prioritize purpose. Right? Like, make sure you're doing purpose-driven activities that let— keep your life fulfilling. So, to recap, time with friends is going to peak at 18 through your early 20s. Make sure you're nurturing deep relationships. Time with the kids peaks at age 35 and goes into your 40s. Be present for the— for them. Time with your partner is going to peak around 65. Invest in that relationship. Time with coworkers is going to dominate all of your working years, so find purpose in your work. And then time alone, which is going to peak in your later years. Make sure it's fulfilling and not lonely. You can't control time, but you can control how you use it. So be intentional with each phase so you don't look back with any regret. My focusing question for you today, or the focusing action, I want you to look at your life right now. Which peak are you in? Which peak are you in given what I just outlined? What's one change you can make this week to maximize that phase, maximize that, that time period. Make sense? Cool. I think again, when I, when I, when I talk around time, I do it not to make anyone feel bad, but to bring awareness to this conversation. Because again, the last thing we want to do is get towards the end and have regret saying things like, I wish I would have lived a life true to myself. Well, I refuse to have that regret, and I think you should too. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
