Ep 519 | Are You Complaining About What You Once Prayed For?

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Last week, I had the very fortunate opportunity to interview author Sahil Bloom. I've been talking about Sahil a lot as of late because I think the book that he wrote, uh, The Five Types of Wealth, is a really, really awesome book. I want to encourage everybody to go and read that one, pick that one up and read it. But I had a chance to interview Sahil in front of a number of my partners on, uh, just, just a few days ago actually, and he had so many great things to say. I mean, it was one of the best interviews I've been able to partake in. And my job was really to just get out of his way, right? This guy had so many great thoughts. I just had to ask a question and move over and let him do his thing. And lots of what he said really resonated with our group. And I'll probably cover some of those things here in the not too distant future. But there was one thing specifically that he had said, and I hadn't heard him talk around it before. And it really got me thinking. As a matter of fact, this past weekend, uh, I had a, a long, super long run. It was actually a race that took me 8 hours. Doesn't sound like much of a race, took me about 8 hours. So I had a lot of thinking time. And, uh, I, I did this, this run without any headphones or anything. And so yeah, I had a lot of time in my head. And I'll tell you, a good portion of that time I was thinking around this quote and kind of processing it for my own life. So Hill said, too many of us are complaining about the things the younger version of ourselves once prayed for. Too many of us are complaining about the things the younger version of ourselves once prayed for. When I heard him say that, and when I replayed the interview I did and I heard him say it again because I got to, you know, think about it a little bit more, I flinched. I flinched a little for sure, because it's true. I think in today's episode, what we need to do is unpack that truth and maybe give you a framework, or at least a framework that I've been thinking around to shift from maybe, maybe some frustration to gratitude without, without losing your drive. So I think there'll be some real talk here, some self-awareness, and maybe some motivation. Let's go through some examples. So, and Sahil did this when we talked. He said, you once prayed to buy that house, and now it's the house that you complain about being too small. You once prayed to, to get that car, and now you complain about that car and you want to trade it in. You used to pray for a loaded calendar, a full calendar. Now you complain you're too busy. You used to dream about running a business. Now you stress over hiring and over payroll. You wanted kids. You prayed for kids. And Sahil used this as his exact example. You wanted kids and now You're snapping when they don't want to go to bed or when they don't want to, or they don't want to listen to whatever it is you're sharing. I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel tired or frustrated. I mean, I know I'm tired and frustrated a lot, but we, we probably owe it to our past selves. You know, the selves that, that hustled and sacrificed and stayed up dreaming. We owe it to those individuals to remember This is the life that we had hoped for. I think we fall into this trap, right? Like, we normalize our blessings. At least I know I do. I think human nature adapts quickly. What once felt extraordinary starts to become routine. I also think that this comparison culture that we live in makes us chase what's next without really appreciating what is. You climb one mountain, instead of celebrating the view, you're already eyeing the next peak. Now that's ambition, right? And I'm not mad about that, but unchecked, it becomes discontent. It's kind of that Gap and Gain conversation that I know we've had here in the past, where you hike out, you know, to the horizon and you spend, you know, hours and hours and miles and miles hiking to the horizon and and, and you, of course, you never get there, right? You can't get to the horizon and you're disappointed. But if you just turn around and look at all the ground you cover, well, now you recognize you should be pretty darn happy about how far you've come. I think, I think about that a lot here, and maybe this is a different way to frame up that gap and gain conversation where, again, So many of us are complaining about the things that our younger version of ourselves once prayed for. Gratitude doesn't mean settling. I think it means remembering. So, Sahil's core message, and I've seen him, you know, ever since the interview, I, of course, I looked it up a little bit. I know he's, he's talked about this in his newsletter and some social posts, but his core message is, you know, are you allowing the things you once prayed for to become the things you complain about? And it's, it's not really about guilt. It's about perspective. For me, you know, I can remember a time when I was, I was broke. I had, I had zero deals in the pipeline. And, and I remember just wanting, you know, a certain very small amount of money in my bank account. And I really, like, at that time, when I'm thinking about that time in my life, uh Man, I was just— I was praying for that. I was dreaming of that. Like, that would give me some peace of mind. I would finally have some space. And I remember that feeling. And now in my world, you know, it's not quite like that. You know, it's, it's, it's still not necessarily where I, where I desire it to be, but I'm not stressing over finances like I once was. A younger version of me would, would have killed for a smaller amount than I've accumulated today. Yet what I've accumulated today, I still don't think, you know, is where I want to be. It's just a really interesting thing we got to think around, right? I of course think I should be further along, but I got to recognize that a younger version of me, you know, probably would, would be, would have killed for this problem. And so that's where I come back to, it's not about guilt, it's about perspective. It's probably about some gratitude. I think there's a way to reframe this. I think there's something that, that we can do about this right now. I think we could pick something we're frustrated about, pick anything in your world. At least this is what I was doing on my run, right? I was describing, I was thinking around this during my run. I thought about something I was frustrated about. And then I asked myself, would my younger self be proud or disappointed by this complaint, by this frustration? So think about something you're frustrated about or you're complaining about right now, and then ask, would your younger self be proud or disappointed by this complaint? Odds are your younger self would be proud of what you're complaining about right now. Maybe if you're journaling today, maybe a journal prompt for you would be, what in my life today is something I used to dream about? Maybe it's a different way to reframe this. What in my life today is something I used to dream about? You know, I've got two teenage girls, or almost teenage, you know, 14 and 12, and it's hard, man. And there are some days where I'm like, my wife and me were like, man, this is, this is, this is not exactly what we thought it would be. But there was a point in our lives together where we were dreaming about raising our family and having these, these kids in our world. We used to dream about these things. We used to pray for this. So, you know, maybe complaining about it today isn't the right thing. At the very least, take 30 seconds today and maybe every day to say thank you. Out loud for one thing that, that you, that you now have. I think you can want more and still appreciate what you have. I think you can chase growth and still stay grounded in gratitude. I think there's a balance there, and I think it's, I think it's a perspective. I think that's what keeps you powerful, that balance, that perspective. Again, you could want more and still appreciate what you have, and you could chase growth and still stay grounded in ingratitude. So if this hits home for you today, I want you to not just think around your own world and maybe those things that you once prayed for that you might be complaining about. I want you to share this message with someone who's, who's caught in the grind. Maybe remind them they're living the life they once prayed for. And let's not forget how far we've come. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.