In this No Days Off podcast episode, host Brian Gubernick explores the nature of fear, contrasting it with genuine danger. He describes fear as a "vividly orchestrated story" our imagination creates around perceived threats—such as marriage, phone calls, or flying—that are statistically safe. While real danger can trigger protective fear, most everyday fears are self‑generated narratives that paralyze action. Recognizing ourselves as the authors of these stories enables us to rewrite them. Gubernick outlines three practical strategies: (1) study those who have gone before you to see that the feared path is often traversable; (2) cultivate a crystal‑clear vision and mission that fuels perseverance; and (3) embrace love—especially self‑love and self‑esteem—as the opposite of fear, which reduces rejection anxiety and bolsters courage. He concludes with reflective questions prompting listeners to identify current fears, analyze their underlying stories, and apply the three tactics to rewrite those narratives, encouraging daily action toward improvement.
Chapters
Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into today's topic. Today I'm going to be discussing fear. Now let's start by comparison— comparing, I'm sorry, or discussing fear versus danger. See, fear is our reaction to a perceived danger, and it's actually a made-up feeling. It's what I would call an amazing gift of our imagination. Most people's response to a perceived danger may sound something like, I'm afraid of getting married, or I'm afraid of making this phone call, or I'm terrified of flying on this airplane. While the wedding in this scenario, the phone call, the plane itself, none of them are actually dangerous, statistically speaking, they're— none of them are dangerous. It's the stories that we create around these 3 things that actually causes us to become fearful. Now, danger, on the other hand, is in fact a real situation, and in these real situations, it's natural to feel worried or scared or threatened. I mean, in these cases, fear is actually what may keep us alive. So in a moment, a moment of panic or fear, um, it makes us— fear itself makes us quickly think about all the scenarios and assess the scenarios, assess the situation, and probably keep us from taking unnecessary or reckless risks. So fear actually may keep us alive. But it's important to recognize it depends— or what's so important with respect to fear, it's what fear we actually listen to. The ones that, that will serve us well and protect us from real danger and all of the other ones, the ones that will keep you from, from taking action, the ones that paralyze you from taking the next logical step. Fear is, is a, is a vividly orchestrated story, and it's one we create in our own minds, and we obsess over it. We obsess over these fears. We continue to feed the stories, and it keeps us Fear keeps us from starting something new. It keeps us from achieving a goal. If I go back to that example, the person that's terrified of flying on a plane, they've actually curated an entire story in their head complete with every possible thing that could go wrong from the moment he or she steps on the plane. And as you could probably imagine, the story does not have a good outcome. This story may become so real in this person's mind that they may never actually take a plane for the rest of their life. This is a real thing. Fear has paralyzed some people. Fear has literally caused people to never step foot on a plane or anything of that nature ever again. And it's the story, it's what they've curated, this vividly orchestrated story in their own mind that they obsess over. That continues to feed the stories. The cycle is crazy, it's dangerous, and it keeps them from ever stepping foot on that plane again. And in this particular example, we're talking plane, but what if it's starting something new? What if it's achieving a goal? So when we fully understand that fears are really— I mean, merely just stories that we create— we can begin to think of ourselves as authors of these stories. So when we understand that we are the authors of these stories, we can start to create an entirely different storyline, and we can really start to face our fears head-on, because now, now we are in complete control of how we perceive the world. By changing the way we write these stories, we will be able to conquer our fears. Furthermore, when you push past fear, and many of us have probably had some fear or multiple fears in our lives, and we've had to push past these fears, and, and, and, and you get to the end result, whatever it may be, or you achieve that massive goal, when you look back, the experience you just had was an incredible one. So how do we rewrite these stories? What steps can we take to rewrite these stories around fear? I have a few thoughts on this, things that I've implemented in my world because I've certainly had fear around, around different things, different business ventures, different paths, different perceived risks that were not really risks at all, but I concocted a story in my head. I've had this. I'm sure we all have had some degree of it, and I think there's ways to rewrite these stories. First thing that comes to mind for me Study those that have come before you. In many scenarios, we concoct these fears and, and, and we tell us ourselves these stories. We create these stories, but the reality is we're not the first, nor will we be the last to embark on whatever journey or set whatever goal or go down a particular path. Whatever it is you're assessing or considering that you're fearful around, you You're not the first one to do it. Sure, maybe there's one or two things you could find, but it's not all that often. People have come before you. Models exist. Experiences exist. I think we have to study those that have come before us to learn that, to learn their experiences, to draw from their experiences, and to realize that maybe, just maybe, the story we're telling ourselves is not an accurate one. And we're fearful over something that is much more achievable or attainable than we believe it to be. The second thing that comes to mind for me as it pertains to rewriting stories that create fear, I think you have to have a very, very clear vision on your life, your objectives, your business, whatever it may be. You've got to have a very clear vision as to where you want to go, and you've got to be wholeheartedly committed to that vision. I know this comes up in quite a few podcasts, right? Like the, the ability to push through, the ability to persevere. We've talked about it many a times. It all comes down to, in many cases, just having a strong enough mission and a very clear understanding of that mission, of that vision that prompts you to overcome anything and everything that could be thrown, thrown in your way. The last thing I think about as it pertains to rewriting these stories that cause fear, think about the opposite of fear. And I know many will say the opposite of fear is actually courage, and there's truth to that, but I think the opposite of fear is love. And I think it's important that we have more love in our lives than fear, especially self-love and, and self-esteem. I've just seen it. I've just experienced it. The more you like yourself, the less you fear failure and reject— rejection in particular. The more you like yourself, the more likely you are to reach out and take the risks that will lead to, to success and happiness. The more you like yourself, the easier, in my opinion, it is for you to summon the courage to face whatever scary situation is in front of you. So the focusing question for you: are you experiencing fear right now? Do you have fear in any, any place of your, your life, any lane within your life, in your business, in your relationships, even in your health, whatever it may be? Is there a fear? Do you have some fears? And if so, If you objectively do your best to objectively analyze those fears, can you see maybe that the fear may not exist? Maybe it's the story that you've concocted. Maybe it's the vividly orchestrated story that you created in your own mind, and maybe that you've obsessed over, and you've continued to feed the stories, and the fear is really just a false reality. If you do have that feeling, then you likely have to rewrite the stories. And the focusing question then is, if I've recognized I have fear, what steps can I be taking to rewrite the stories that are currently in my head? I mentioned studying those that have come before you. I mentioned having a very clear vision. And I mentioned love, self-love, self-esteem. Maybe it's one of those 3 things to include in rewriting and to influence rewriting of your story. Or maybe you have a different idea. In order to rewrite the story that's backing your fear right now. Whatever the case may be, let's focus on it and see if we could overcome our fears today. That's all we have for today, the No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]
