In this solo episode of the No Days Off podcast, host Brian Gubernick answers a listener’s question about feeling completely unmotivated and stuck in a dark, apathetic state. He shares his own experience of prolonged burnout, describing periods where his “engine was running but the spark was gone.” Brian emphasizes that the crucial factor is how one responds to those moments. He cites Brené Brown’s advice on vulnerability, urging listeners to name and acknowledge the feeling rather than mask it. He warns against self‑labeling (lazy, broken) and reframes the experience as a sign of hurt or burnout. Drawing on David Goggins, he introduces the “callous the mind” principle: act despite lack of motivation, building mental scar tissue. The core strategy he proposes is to create tiny, achievable wins—making the bed, showering, moving for a few minutes—to rebuild self‑trust and momentum. Consistency and small victories replace the need for grand plans. Brian also notes that if the lack of desire persists and may be depression, seeking professional help is essential. The episode ends with a motivational reminder that every day is an opportunity to get better, encouraging listeners to act even when they don’t feel like it.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Just the other day, I got a message directly from one of our listeners here at No Days Off, and the, the question that was being asked by this, by this individual kind of hit me hard because I've actually been in this spot before, contrary to what maybe she thought or others might believe. This person asked, what do you do when you have no desire to do anything at all? When everything feels horrible and you know you should keep pushing through but it's been going on for a long time and you don't know how to get out of it. I want to talk about my response to this question or these, the series of questions in today's episode, because I think there's probably a lot of people there, you know, in the same position right now. And if you are, then this episode's for you. I have been in this position for, uh, before. I have experienced exactly what is being described in this question. I've been in spots where I had no desire to do anything at all. I've been in spots where things feel horrible and you know you're supposed to keep pushing, but it's been going on for a long time and you don't know how to get out of it and you want to, you know, potentially tap out. There were stretches for me, maybe weeks, maybe months, where I felt completely flat. Like my engine was running, but the spark was kind of gone. Where I kept doing things, but I was doing them kind of numb. And there have been dark, darker moments than that too, believe it or not, where I didn't even want to try. Which is interesting that maybe many of you here, you know, for many of you to hear me say, because, you know, here at No Days Off, I don't usually talk about these moments, but Yeah, I've been in spots where I didn't want to try. When the thought of getting up and pushing forward, even that made me physically tired. You know, in hindsight, as I look back on those moments, that didn't make me weak. It made me human. Of course, I didn't feel that way in the moment. But as I reflect, it was like, no, I mean, I'm a human being and I was having an experience. And you very well may be too. Here's what I've figured is the truth. It's not so much that moment that matters. It's how you respond in those moments. It's how you respond in those moments that are actually— that, that will actually define everything. You know, Brené Brown, uh, kind of known as the, the queen of vulnerability, she talks about the power of vulnerability quite a bit. And in times like this, the first brave thing you can do is name it. Don't mask it with, "Hey, I'm just tired," or, "Hey, I'm busy." Say it to someone. Say it to yourself. I'm in a dark place right now. I don't want to do anything right now. I think that's step 1, believe it or not. That honesty is step 1. That awareness is step 1. And then from there, We can resist the shame spiral because when we don't want to do anything, we often start labeling ourselves. I'm lazy. I'm broken. I'm failing. I don't think you're any of those things. I think you're just probably hurting. You're probably burned out. You may be a little empty, you know, running on E. You might even be grieving a version of yourself you thought you were supposed to be. Now, I can't help but think about David Goggins around some of this too. I mentioned Brené Brown, but I think there's a Goggins component. That voice that Goggins describes that says something like, "No one's coming to save you. No one is coming to save you. You don't feel like doing it? Do it anyway." Feel nothing, move anyway. Goggins calls it the, the callous the mind principle. Callous the mind principle. When everything sucks and you still go for that run, you still make that call, you still show up for that one thing because you're building scar tissue over your excuses. So you don't wait for motivation, you train your mind and your body to act without it. That's how you start to regain control. But I want you to, I want you to listen closely to this. This isn't about going into, you know, what Goggins might describe as beast mode. I don't need you to go into beast mode every day. I think it's just about doing the next thing. Just one, just, just the one next thing. Because the idea here is to create some small wins and to create some self-trust. When you feel lost, you can't go after the big win, but you got to chase a tiny win. Maybe that's making your bed. Maybe it's taking a shower, drinking water, moving your body for 5 to 10 minutes. You're not doing those things because they'll fix everything. You're doing them to remind yourself that I still keep promises to me. That starts to rebuild that trust, that self-trust. And when self-trust comes back, so does momentum. So to restate this, I don't need big wins. I need tiny wins, just the next one thing in front of you. Just go win that. Keep promises to yourself. That rebuilds this trust and it builds momentum. You don't need clarity right now, in my opinion, you just need some consistency. You don't need a 5-year plan right now. You need a win before noon today. And then just start, just go. I think it's important to remember, you know, if you are in fact going through this, you're not the only one who's ever felt this way. I mean, I already explained I've been here and I know there's plenty here at the No Days Off Nation that are members of the No Days Off Nation that have been there before. Some of the strongest people I know. People that I admire, you admire, they've been exactly where this person happens to be that asked me the question. They didn't wait though to feel better. They worked their way back to the light. I think one more thing, if this feeling has lasted too long, if it's not just apathy, but maybe something deeper, like depression, I think you got to talk to someone. I am certainly not the expert here. But a therapist or a friend that knows what they're talking about. Don't be the hero who's dying on the hill alone. I think courage is asking for help. So, just know you are not alone if you're in this position. So, when you have no desire to do anything, I think you do one thing anyway. Again, you get out of bed, you go for a walk, you tell the truth. You don't have to feel good to do good. You don't have to feel strong to be strong. I think you just have to move and you don't stop because you're not done because you've got more in you. So no action item necessarily today, but I just want you to know that if you find yourself, if you find yourself in this dark spot, when you don't have a desire to do anything at all, when things start to feel difficult, horrible, and you know you're supposed to keep pushing through, but it's just been going on for a long time and you don't know how to get out of it. I'm gonna push back on you. I think you do know, and it starts with recognizing that it's okay, that you're human, that everybody's been here. How you respond in these moments will define everything. Label what it is that you have going on. Don't mask it with like, I'm busy or I'm tired. Just say, hey, I'm in a dark place right now. I don't feel like doing anything. Let's get clear. Let's bring awareness that you're not lazy, you're not broken, you're not failing, you're just hurting. But then remember, we could talk around all the feelings here, but there is this part of me that says, hey, no one's coming to save you. If you don't feel like doing it, do it anyway. Do it anyway. Callus the mind. Create some small wins. And as you create those small, tiny wins, you start to regain that self-trust. And then you start keeping promises to yourself. You don't need that 5-year plan. Just get a victory before, before the day's up, before noon, before the morning's over. When you have no desire to do anything, do one thing anyway. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
