Ep 562 | Chaos, Crisis, and the Power of Stoic Leadership

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Today, I want to talk about something that every business leader will eventually face. And that's a moment when your name, your business, your reputation, when it gets challenged. A deal goes sideways. A client is furious. They don't just tell you, they tell everyone about how upset they are. Your business or your team hears all about it. Your database hears about it. You feel exposed. And now everyone's looking at you as a leader and they're asking, what are you going to do? Let's talk about how to lead in that moment using something that's rather ancient but incredibly useful. And that's Stoic philosophy. Stoicism, probably something you've heard a lot about over the past couple years because it's been all the rage. But maybe have not completely understood. So, let's say you're running a 15-person sales agent real estate team. And you've built your brand on relationships. It's built on repeat business, referrals, personal reputa— personal reputation. And then one day it happens. A past client posts some sort of long, angry rant on Facebook. And they tag you and they accuse your organization of negligence. Now, the story is exaggerated, but parts of it are maybe a little true. They suggest you only care about money. And mutual friends and other clients are going to see it. They're going to see this post. Now, your people, your agents are texting you, "What should we say? Do we reply? Are we going to lose business over this?" One agent suggests going public to defend the team. Another says that you ought to fire back in the comments. You're flooded with emotion. There's anger, there's panic. There's embarrassment. And you want to act right now. But you're, but you're about to make it worse. Unless, of course, you lead like a Stoic. Now, what do the Stoics teach us? First thing they teach us is to control what you can. Some things are up to us and some are not. You cannot control the client's post. You can't control how people feel, but you can control your response and your tone and most importantly, your integrity. You can't stop the storm, but you can be the calm inside it. So, number 1, control what you can. Number 2 comes from Marcus Aurelius. Perception shapes reality. Perception shapes reality. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. So this isn't just a PR problem, it's an opportunity. It's, it's an opportunity to lead better, to improve systems, to clarify your values. So, I would reframe it, reframe the scenario to, "This isn't happening to me, it's happening for me." Remember, perception shapes reality. Number 3, don't react, respond. Don't react, respond. This is from Seneca. "We suffer more in imagination than in reality." Emotion says respond immediately, post something now. Wisdom, however, says pause, investigate, own what's real, and ignore what's noise. So what do you now do? You, you know, some of the Stoic principles, you get the idea that you should slow down, focus on what you can control, look at this as maybe an opportunity. It's happening for you versus happening to you. You're not going to react. You're going to respond, which means pausing and investigating. Now, what do you do when this happens to you? Number 1, based on these principles, step back. Don't reply yet. Go for a walk. Give yourself some space to feel, but, but, but not to act. Emotional responses almost always damage what, what takes years to sometimes build. So, number 1, or step 1, take a step back. Step 2, get the truth. You know, call the agent that was involved, pull the file. What actually happened? You know, did we miscommunicate? Were expectations maybe set poorly? Did we miss a chance to recover? I would look for ownership here, not blame. And then step 3, respond like a leader. How does a leader respond? Reach out to the client directly. No drama, no defensiveness. Apologize if necessary. Explain where things broke down and what you're going to, going to do to fix it. Then turn around and talk to your team. Here's what happened. Here's what we learned. Here's how we're going to grow. Turn the chaos into a case study for growth. So again, step 1, Take a step back. Step 2, get the truth. Step 3, respond like a leader. Now let me give you a quick story, okay? A top agent once lost a major referral partner after, after a deal fell apart. The client trashed her name in, in a local Facebook group. Instead of defending herself online, she wrote a handwritten note to the client owning her part. And then she went quiet. 6 months later, the same client referred her to someone else because, and I quote, "She handled it with class when she could have gone on the attack." See, sometimes your silence speaks louder than your defense. And that played out in this story. So reputation isn't built in peace, it's built in fire. And when chaos hits your business, you don't need to move fast, you need to move wisely. You need to control your response, reframe the problem, lead with reason. To me, that's a pretty darn good summary of Stoicism. And, and that's what separates, I think, the good entrepreneurs from the great ones. So I ask our No Days Off Nation here today, when your reputation is challenged, do you react to defend your ego or do you respond to protect your future? It's a really great, great question to contemplate. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.