In this solo episode of the No Days Off podcast, host Brian Gubernick reflects on a recent conversation with his daughters, noticing their negative self‑talk about school and activities. He argues that the internal dialogue we maintain is an "operating system" that shapes our expectations, effort, and results in every area of life—business, health, relationships, and personal growth. Brian explains that this inner voice is not random; it is formed early by parents, coaches, peers, and media, and is continuously reinforced by daily inputs. He outlines the causal chain: self‑talk sets expectations, expectations drive effort, and effort produces outcomes, likening the process to the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS) that filters experiences to match dominant thoughts. High achievers, he notes, use self‑talk as a coach rather than a critic, which sustains resilience, focus, and energy. To help listeners gain control, Brian proposes a 48‑hour experiment: capture every negative or limiting thought in a notebook or phone app, then write a constructive, growth‑oriented reframe beside it. Even a modest 10 % shift in self‑talk, he claims, can noticeably boost energy and actions. He frames the exercise as a reprogramming of the mind, essential for anyone seeking better results in business or life, and ends with a motivational reminder that each day offers a new chance to improve.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So my, my daughters just started school, you know, a week or two ago. I, I know we talked about it here at the podcast as I was sharing an episode not too long ago about the the questions I ask them before they start school each year and how I record it. It's a really cool exercise. Be sure to go back to that episode if you don't know what I'm talking about. It seems to be one of, one of the favorites that we've had here at No Days Off. But in the course of the past week or two, you know, as I'm chatting with my daughters around all that they have going on at school and dance and all the things that they do, I noticed one of my kids kind of talking down to herself a little bit. Saying, "I'm not good at this," or, "I'm never gonna get better at that." And man, I really don't like talk like that. Why is that? Because I firmly believe that what you tell yourself matters. There's this voice in your head that talks to you all day long. You probably know that voice. And I'm telling my daughters this. There's this chatter in your head all day long. It's telling you, what you can do, but it's also telling you what you can't. And it's telling you how you should feel about that. Sometimes that voice in your head is your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes it could be your biggest critic. Here's the thing though, you believe it. You believe that voice almost every single time. Today, we're talking about why what you tell yourself matters, where that voice is coming from, how it shapes your energy and actions, and why if you want bigger results in business and in life, you need to take control of that conversation. This is kind of a more advanced conversation than what I've been having with my younger kids. And I don't necessarily know if I made a breakthrough just yet, but we're working on it. Here's what this means, what you tell yourself matters. Here's what it means. I'm not talking about fluffy affirmations here, by the way. I'm talking about the literal, literal operating system running your decisions. When you say to yourself things like, "I'm terrible at presentations," you actually start making choices that avoid public speaking that reinforce that belief. When you say, "I'm someone who figures something, who figures things out," you actually start leaning into challenges and finding solutions. Your internal dialogue sets the boundaries of your behavior. I hope you heard that one. Your internal dialogue sets the boundaries of your behavior. The words you use with yourself are the rules that you end up living by. Now, this voice, it's shaped and it's influenced. This inner voice isn't random. It's actually been shaped since you were a kid. It was shaped by your kids and your parents, your coaches, your friends, the environment that you live in. It's influenced daily by what you consume, what you're listening to, what you're reading, the people you spend time with, the media, books, magazines, whatever it is you have in front of you. It's influencing this voice. If you're constantly around people who say, "Oh, the market's impossible right now," well, guess what? Your brain starts running that script on repeat. If you feed it stories of resilience and of achievement, well, your brain builds those patterns instead. So, you may not control your starting point, but you do control your inputs from this moment. This moment forward. This matters. I think this stuff matters so much. And maybe that's older me talking. I don't know if younger me fully embraced this, but older me, more experienced me, certainly gets it. Your internal dialogue sets your expectations. Expectations drive effort. Effort shapes results. That internal dialogue sets your expectations. Your expectations drive effort. And the effort is what shapes results. So, if you believe you're capable of learning anything, then you'll take on projects that others avoid. And if you tell yourself you're unlucky or you're stuck, well, then you stop looking for opportunities. This is not magic. I would say it's mechanics. Your brain is constantly scanning the environment for what matches your most dominant thoughts. You know, we could talk about the RAS another time, R.A.S. But that's what I'm talking about here. Tell yourself you're resourceful and you'll spot resources you've been ignoring. Tell yourself you're hopeless and your brain will end up proving you right. This has such an impact on all that we do. When you think around success, high achievers talk to themselves like a coach, not a critic. They're asking, what's the next best step? Instead of Why do I always screw up? In achievement, the story you tell yourself determines how long you stay in the game after setbacks. With energy, positive self-talk isn't about ignoring problems. It's about directing your energy towards solutions. And then with focus, the right internal narrative keeps your attention locked on the goal, even when the distractions compete for it. It's going to sound like a strange analogy, but think of it like training a dog. If you constantly reward certain behaviors in your mind, they'll repeat. If you keep reinforcing the wrong ones, then those, those thoughts are going to become your defaults. Now, I think that our listeners here at No Days Off should really care about this, maybe more than you realize. This show, this podcast, is built for people who want to get better. Better in business and life and health, relationships, entrepreneurship. You know, you know the routine. You can work harder, you can get more skills, you could build better systems, but if the voice in your head is constantly undercutting you, then you're playing— you're really playing an uphill, uh, battle every single day. Now, when you control your self-talk You stop sabotaging your own potential. You align your thoughts and your energy and your actions towards the same goal, and that's when the results really start to compound. So for the next 48 hours, I want you to run this experiment for me. I want you to carry a small notebook or, or even use your, your, your phone's notes app. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative or limiting in your head, Write it down. Some of you might have pretty big lists, and frankly, sometimes I probably do too, depending on my energy and mood that week. But I want you to, you know, jot down in your notes app or in a notebook every time you catch yourself saying something negative or something limiting in your head. Write it down. Then next to it, write the constructive version that you want to believe. So for example, You say something like, I'm terrible at negotiating. You hear that in your head, immediately write that down. I'm terrible at negotiating. And then I want you to write next to it, I'm learning to get better at negotiating every time I do it. This is not, to me, this is not about pretending. I think this is programming or reprogramming. And if you could start flipping even 10% of your self-talk this week, you're going to feel a shift in your energy. And as a result, your actions are going to follow. You know, I've been thinking about this one a lot recently. You could probably tell in the way maybe some emotion is showing up in this, in this conversation. A lot of it is— a lot of what's driving this is not just the conversation I've been having with my daughters, though every time I hear this sort of thing, like, you know, it does weigh on me, and I want to make sure that as a parent I'm leading them in the right direction. But What also is driving this is I'm having a lot of conversation with professionals in business and different industries, and the world is a challenging place. It always is a challenging place, but for many, it's feeling more challenging right now. And I think it's really easy to fall into the trap of negative self-talk, and we got to stop it. Like, I can talk to somebody about the systems and and the processes and the things you need to do to improve in your business. But again, if your mind is not right, if you're not thinking that I am capable, I can make this happen, I believe in myself, and you're saying the opposite, there's no process or system that's going to fix that. So again, run the exercise, catch yourself, start to make small changes. You don't got to change it, you don't have to change everything. If I can get 10% out of you, you know, thinking differently It's a massive win and you will notice it in your energy and your approach. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
