Ep 643 | How to Leverage the 5 Love Languages to Grow Your Business (REPLAY)

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Today I want to talk about how to leverage the 5 love languages to get better at business. You've probably heard of the 5 love languages It's a concept that was developed by a guy named Dr. Gary Chapman, and he wrote a book around this, and the intent of the book was to describe the 5 ways that people give and receive love. So the idea here was that understanding your own as well as others' love languages could help improve communication and deepen relationships. So the 5 love languages, as you may recall, Number 1, words of affirmation, which was about expressing affection through spoken words or through praise. Number 2 was acts of service. So showing love through action, through helpful actions like doing chores or errands or helping in another way. Number 3 was receiving gifts, which was giving thoughtful gifts to show that the person is valued and thought of. Number 4 is quality time. So giving someone your undivided attention. And then lastly, number 5 was physical touch, which was just more physical affection like hugs, handholding, whatever it may be. So the 5 love languages— the idea here again is if you understand your love language and you understand the love language of others, then you can become a better communicator and you ultimately could deepen relationships. Now, we should absolutely understand the love languages for purposes of deepening our meaningful relationships. But I also think there's an opportunity, believe it or not, to understand the love languages of a prospect or a client, a sales prospect or a sales client. You have to use the love languages in a pretty unique way to connect with clients or prospects in sales. But at the end of the day, if you do use it properly, you could better understand your clients or your prospects' preferences. And as a result, what happens? You build trust. And when you build trust, odds are you're going to be doing— there's a higher likelihood of doing business together, not just in one particular transaction or sale, but maybe in future sales, as well as receiving referrals from, from the sphere of influence that, that particular prospect or client also has. So you can use the 5 Love Languages in a unique way to deepen relationships with clients. How could this work for you? I think as it pertains to words of affirmation, if you, if you knew that a client of yours or prospect of yours, um, words of affirmation was their, their love language, then you could recognize and you could praise these individuals for their achievements or for the business decisions they make. Maybe giving them compliments or positive reinforcement helps you build rapport. It makes your client feel valued. When you highlight specific qualities or accomplishments, they'll appreciate that. So, if you had an understanding that words of affirmation was a driver for a prospect, odds are you can build greater rapport if you leverage that, if you lean into it. Same goes for acts of service. For those clients that may display acts of service as their love language, as a person trying to win that business or serve that business, I could show my commitment to this client by going the extra mile. This would be acts of service. I could offer tailored support. I can handle details that maybe they find tedious. I could follow up or make certain I follow up on requests rather promptly. Maybe to look at this a little bit differently, if the love language of somebody was acts of service and I did the opposite, I didn't offer tailored support, I didn't handle the details, especially the stuff they found tedious, I wasn't prompt in my response, odds are we're going to fall out of business together. So, maybe it's sending an additional report that they didn't ask for. Maybe it's addressing concerns before they interrupt— before before they arise. This would be acts of service in a business relationship. How about receiving gifts? This is an interesting one. See, some clients will feel appreciated when you provide thoughtful, personalized gestures. Maybe it's just a small token. Maybe it's a branded item you give them, or a handwritten thank you card, or something that's relevant to their interests because you were listening to them and you went out and and bought that, that thing that resonates with them. If you make it thoughtful and align it with their preferences rather than just some sort of promotional item, the response you get is one of a person feeling appreciated. Quality time, another interesting one. The end of the day, what are we really talking about as it pertains to clients and prospects? This is just a function of focused, undivided attention or time with a client. So, scheduling face-to-face meetings or set up video calls that allow a deeper connection versus just a phone call. A phone call, yes, takes your time, but if it could be in person, that quality time or perceived quality time might have a deeper impact. Actively listening to their needs without distractions. Like, if I'm gonna meet with somebody who's got Quality Time as a love language, that's probably one I'm gonna leave the phone in the car. I might even take my watch off so I never look at it, which indicates that maybe I'm not as focused on the conversation as I need to be. So, I've got to give quality time because when you do that, people feel respected, people feel valued. And then lastly, physical touch. This one's a little bit trickier in the client relationship. It goes without saying, it's pretty tough in a professional setting. But I would say at the very least, you can create a warm or inviting atmosphere by just being more personable and approachable. So maybe it's, you know, a friendly handshake, or maybe it's smiling, or just maintaining positive open body language. This conveys some degree of connection. So when you observe your client's reactions to these approaches, um, it could help you kind of adjust your, your style to match their needs. And this allows to develop rapport that might resonate, you know, a bit more personally. Now, in kind of wrapping this concept up, I think it's important, like, yes, we understand now the 5 Love Languages, and yes, if our clients have these Love Languages, here, here are ways that we can go lean into those respective things. But I think a good question might be, okay, cool. How would I determine the love language of a sales prospect or a client? Like, what would I do to determine this? And of course, it's a bit different than when you're looking, when you're talking with somebody or meeting with somebody or someone you know on a personal level. In this particular environment, you're really looking for subtle cues rather than the direct answers you would get from a significant other. Uh, here's what goes through my mind. Number 1, observe how they communicate. If they're frequently praising or complimenting others, they may value words of affirmation themselves. People have a tendency to, to display their love language by leveraging that in their natural communication with others. So if they frequently praise or compliment others, they're probably words of affirmation. If they focus on getting things done efficiently or really appreciate when you handle logistics, they very well could be acts of service. If they give you gifts or mention gifts they've received, guess what? They might be receiving gifts as a love language. If they really seem to enjoy in-depth, like, uninterrupted meetings, or they really like just extended conversations, quality time may be the one that resonates with them. And then lastly, if they appreciate physical cues like handshakes, or maybe they lean in closely when they talk, physical touch may be that love language, or at least an equivalent sense of warmth. So observe how they communicate. Number 2, pay attention to their complaints or praise. If they mention feeling neglected when communications are short, that might be a quality time issue. If they praise how others are so helpful, Maybe they're acts of service. If they talk about or comment on thoughtful gestures they've received in relationships past, guess what? Could be gifts. And if they express appreciation for encouragement or express appreciation for specific feedback, no surprise, it's probably words of affirmation. Lastly, I think we could just ask questions. That's what we always do in business and in sales. Ask questions in a business context. For example, if the opportunity comes up for you to ask, what's the most meaningful way someone supported you in business? Or how do you prefer to stay connected or updated? Or what's one of the best gestures you've received from a business partner? Their answers here can really hint at a preferred approach. For building rapport if you pay close attention, if you're very much listening to what it is they're sharing. Now, you're going to have to experiment with different approaches and you're going to have to pay very close attention to the responses. So, try these things all out. Try offering verbal praise, give small thoughtful gestures, right? Have positive open body language, give them additional support, see how they react. And then, once you identify You know, or once you analyze the reaction and you're able to identify which of the love languages maybe it best aligns with, or the reaction's best aligned with, now you know what to double down on. So on that note, it's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]