Brian Gubernick breaks down how likability drives success, citing Jennifer Hyman and John Maxwell on why being liked matters as much as being respected. The framework: listen more, use people's names, avoid gossip, watch your body language, and make others feel important.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Let's get into it. Today I want to talk about improving your likability, improving your likeability, and how in doing so it actually improves your life. I was reading an article, or reading an interview I should say, of the CEO of a company called Rent the Runway. Her name is Jennifer Hyman, and Jennifer attributed her business success to two words. The two words she said were the words that describe why she's successful: be likable. She made this statement to some graduates from Stanford's MBA program. And her strategy about being warm, engaging, actively listening, it's what she says helped her sell her ideas. And it's what led her to, to, to being that CEO that she was. So no matter the type of business I think that you're in, uh, you're in the people business, whether it's sales, you know, whether it's tech, no matter what it is you're doing, You are in the people business. You have to build relationships in some capacity in order to thrive in business, in order to sell your service or your product. You've got to be capable of building relationships, and being likable is a very, very key component of this. John Maxwell, leadership guru John Maxwell, said, and I'm going to quote this, if you are respected and not liked, then your influence will be limited and short-lived. People will not fully trust you and will only follow you at a distance. In fact, they will circle around like vultures waiting for you to fail. Your team will also have a high rate of turnover because no one enjoys working for an unlikable leader. Eventually, you will burn out since no one is close enough for you to be able to share their care. The remedy: let people see your heart. Convince them that you care about their lives. John Maxwell knows a thing or two. And I think what he's saying here is let's be a bit more likable. So I think you get the point. We've got to be a little bit more likable in order to thrive in both, in both business and life. So how do you become more likable? Okay, here's some, here's some steps. Here's some things to be thinking around if you want to improve your likability. First, make a strong first impression. You have about 5, 10, maybe 15 seconds at most for someone to form a first impression about you. First impressions are very lasting. So if your first impression is less than great, it's going to take a while to change the perception an individual may have of you. So be, be cognizant, be aware of the first impression you're making when it comes to likability. Next, talk nicely about other people. Talk nicely. Maybe a different way to say this, don't gossip. Don't be known as a gossiper. People that do not gossip, that talk nicely about other people, they are perceived as very likable individuals. Next thing, this is one we've talked about here at No Days Off quite a bit. Uh, in May, uh, so, so about 6, 7 months ago, I think we had a topic around effective listening. Um, episode 155, not too long ago, was about becoming a better communicator, which of course involves listening. But this next one is, if you want to become more likable, improve your listening skills. I think the best way to improve your listening skills is to talk less and just listen with intent. Meaning that you should lean in and you ask follow-up questions and you make eye contact. Show that you care. Talk a little less and listen a little more. I already mentioned it, but when it comes to listening skills, the next thing you could do to become more likable is be inquisitive. Ask questions, ask follow-up questions, learn about the person that you're engaging with. Everybody likes to talk about themselves. Everybody likes to tell their story and wants to be heard. If you want to be more likable, ask more questions and engage at a deeper level. As you're doing so, as you're doing so, and you want to be more likable, check your body language. Be aware of your gestures, the expressions you're maybe using, maybe the tone of your voice. Look people in the eye. Let them know that you in fact care. Maybe nod, smile. Your body language is more important than I think most of us realize, especially when it comes to likability. The last few, stay positive. People prefer to be around happy, positive people. Think about the positive people in your world. You probably associate liking them. You know, their likability probably improves or increases. If you find that they're more positive and happy. Some other, some final, you know, things to share. Uh, humor always increases likability. Funny people that, that have, that have a good sense of humor, um, that make people laugh, they tend to have that likability trait. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian, uh, but you have to be willing to at least laugh at yourself. Use people's names. This is a simple one. When you engage with people, use their names. We all like the sound of our own name. Using names shows that you know and value the person that you're talking to, that you're talking with. And then lastly, and I think all of these things we just shared kind of encompass this, make others feel important. If you want to be more likable, make others feel important. And again, that's probably a combination of all the things we just described. Listening more, asking more questions, your body language, your tonality, you know, your positive attitude, using humor. These things all lead to making people feel a bit more important. So the focusing question for you today in terms of likability, where do you have room for improvement? Where's your opportunity to improve in the list I just gave you? And how will that impact your likability? Remember, people, uh, all of us, we're all in the people business. We all have to create more relationships. It goes without saying, the more likable you are, the easier creating relationships tends to be. And we're in the people business. Okay? So where's your opportunity for improvement and what steps can you take today to in fact become more likable. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
