Ep 679 | The Myth of Balance and the Power of Counterbalance

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. One book that we have not discussed all that much here at No Days Off, which is a mistake on my part because I think it's, it's one of the best books ever written and I am a little biased when I tell you the book. It is called The One Thing. And why am I biased? Well, that's because my mentors and buddies Gary Keller and Jay Papasan wrote The One Thing, and, and many of our audience have probably read it. However, I bet it's been a little while since you've revisited that book. And by the way, if you haven't read it, it's definitely one to grab. It made a massive difference in my life. And one area in which it made a massive difference was in this understanding of this, this lie that we're sold about balance. And I think this is an important topic for our No Days Off Nation because we have so many hard-charging entrepreneurs that are constantly trying to figure out a way to balance all that they do in their office and work and career as well as, you know, thrive at home. I think people love to talk about this work-life balance idea. It is definitely one of those buzzwords that sounds almost enlightened. Like if you just manage your calendar better, you can give equal attention to everything and everyone, I should say, that matters. The truth though, as Gary and Jay say, The truth is that balance is just a myth. You can't give everything equal energy at once. And if you attempt to do this, you're probably going to end up doing everything halfway. Gary and Jay saying the one thing, extraordinary results required focused imbalance. Extraordinary results require focused imbalance. In other words, you can't build something meaningful without leaning hard into it for a period of time. But that doesn't mean neglect. It means you have to counterbalance. Life is a, a pendulum. It's not a scale. If you picture your life like a pendulum, you can imagine that Recognize it's this pendulum. It's not a scale. A scale aims for stillness. A scale aims for this perfect equilibrium. But a pendulum is in constant motion. It's swinging back and forth and it's never staying still for very long. That's the idea of counterbalance. So when you're chasing a, a big goal like scaling a business, or training for some endurance race, or launching a new product, the pendulum will swing deep into that side. And, and that's okay. That's how growth works. Now, the key is not to freeze the pendulum in, in one position. It's to make sure you swing it back before something breaks. The problem isn't imbalance, it's unconscious imbalance. Going all in on one area and, and pretending the others don't matter, that's, that's the problem. And when I think about this concept, I like to equate it to, you know, my work and my, and my family. If I want to have massive success in work, I do have to go all in from time to time and run in the red. I will have massive success when I run in the red. So say I go into my office and and I, you know, I tell my family, hey, the next 3, 4 days I'm going to be working my ass off and you're not going to see me much. Guess what? I can do that and everything would be okay at home. And I might be able to extend that by a couple days and everything would be good at home. But if I did that for a couple weeks, we would have some real challenges in the Gubernick household. Now, same goes on the other side of that pendulum, right, as it swings to life. I can go away with my family for vacation, which is the ultimate family time where I'm all in with them. And I could do that for a week. I could even maybe do it for 2 weeks. But when I start getting right now at this season of my life, when in career, when I start getting into kind of week 3 or 4, guess what? I'm running in the red for too long on the life side and things start happening negatively on the business side. Now, I'm having massive family success, but I stayed in the red for too long. So, the idea here isn't to look for stillness. Instead, it's to swing the pendulum and just know the timing and be conscious around this imbalance. When I was early in my career, again, I thought success meant giving equal time to everything. Equal time recruiting or sales or management or family or fitness. I was spread thin. And as a result, I was constantly frustrated and was not making the progress that I desired. And then I started to embrace this idea of counterbalance. If we were in some sort of growth sprint at work, you know, be it new clients or new partnership launches or whatever it may be, I knew my pendulum was going to swing deep into work. But that meant as soon as that sprint ended, I had to intentionally swing it back, which meant time with my family. Or early mornings, you know, off the phone, dinners without distraction. That was an awareness exercise. That wasn't guilt. That shift wasn't guilt. It was awareness. In health, you know, I talk around these ultra races. Well, when I train for some of these ultra races, everything in my life starts to bend around that race, sometimes for weeks and months. My sleep, my nutrition, my travel. But the second that race ends, I counterbalance to the best of my ability, meaning I have to recover. I have to start kind of lifting weights a little bit more instead of running all the time. I've got to eat without necessarily counting everything or watching everything going into my mouth. I give energy back to the parts of my life that waited while I chased that race, while I chased that mountain. And that's how I believe I'm able to sustain some degree of performance. If I ran in the red for too long on one side or the other, my training and my performance would suffer. Gary and Jay make a really astute or brilliant distinction with respect to time. They say you counterbalance differently in work and in life. In other words, work can handle these long stretches of imbalance. You can focus for weeks or months on a big project and the business isn't going to collapse. But in your personal life, Imbalance has got to be corrected quickly. Your kids, your spouse, your health, it can't wait months for attention. So, the rhythm may look like long swings for work and then short frequent swings for life. I think if you ignore that rhythm, you're going to end up paying the price. And that price is going to look like burnout or broken relationships or declining health. So, how do you then, if you understand this concept, how do you put it to practice? How do you make counterbalancing work for you? I think first you got to get clear on your season. In other words, what deserves my focused imbalance right now? And name, name that, that area, that, that season, right? Don't feel guilty about it, just name it. And then number 2, schedule the swing back. So if you know you're in a, say, 3-month business push, plan a week away with your family afterward. Plan 2 weeks away with your family afterward. If you're in a heavy training block when it comes to fitness, schedule active recovery when it ends. I think number 3, and this has been critical for me, communicate the imbalance. Tell your team or tell your family, "Hey, you know, the next few weeks are going to be really intense for me, but I assure you I'm coming back to you." I know those aren't the easiest conversations all the time, but it's necessary because that clarity is going to reduce the resentment and it builds trust. And then lastly, number 4, I think you got to reassess often. Call it every week, you know, every weekend. Ask yourself, you know, where have I overinvested? You know, what's being neglected? What needs attention this week? I think that awareness is what keeps that pendulum swing healthy. Now, there is a cost, I would say, of staying stuck, What do I mean? See, the danger isn't imbalance, it's getting stuck in one position for too long. If your pendulum stays on work for years, you're gonna succeed in business, but you're gonna completely lose connection with your family. An example of this would be the individual that achieves all of this amazing success in business, but has a totally destroyed home life, disconnection with family. Now, on the other side, if you stay in comfort, you might feel peaceful, but you never reach your potential. So, counterbalancing is how you make sure progress in one area doesn't end up destroying the others. You are not trying to live in the middle because the middle is, is where nothing ever is going to happen for you. You're trying to live with awareness. So, as we wrap up, I want you to recognize again that you'll never be in perfect balance. And, and by the way, you shouldn't want to be. I think when you study those that have had massive success, when they've— they study those that have done some extraordinary things, there's always a, a bit of off balance. The difference is most of them know it, they own it, and they counterbalance intentionally. So in summary, don't chase balance, you know, chase awareness. Because this, this idea around no days off isn't about a constant grind, it's about constant intention and constant awareness. So I would ask myself as my action item this week, this week, ask these questions: What's been getting too much of my time and energy lately? What's been neglected? And then lastly, how can I counterbalance this week even in the smallest way? Maybe it's a call to your parents, or maybe it's a workout you've skipped, or maybe it's an afternoon with your kids, or maybe it's just finally protecting a block of, of deep work time. Just swing that pendulum with purpose, and I think that's how you sustain greatness without losing yourself along the way. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]