Ep 695 | A Better Way to Practice Gratitude This Thanksgiving

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Every year at Thanksgiving, my family has had this tradition where you go around the table and say what you're thankful for. I'm going to guess that many of our listeners share that same, that same routine, that same ritual. And I was thinking about it for our family this year. I'd like to do something different. I want to practice gratitude in a deeper way, something that's deeper than the, dare I call it generic, what are you thankful for question that, that we share at our table and that we all get asked quite a bit around this time of year. Gratitude matters. So don't, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to get away from gratitude, but the way that that question sometimes approaches it, you might get a little bit more shallow an answer than, than gratitude deserves, or you might fire off the same few answers that you use every year. And the exercise in answering that question, that exercise becomes rather routine. So I was thinking around how can we do things differently this year in my family. And in the course of doing that, thought, you know what, I had to share these, these prompts with, with our audience here at the No Days Off Nation. Because I think these prompts— I have 9 different gratitude prompts— I think that they'll, they'll get you to think a little bit differently. Because they're not as surface level. They're a little bit deeper. They're a little bit more reflective. And I think that, that these, these prompts, whether you use one of them or all 9 of them, I think they're gonna force you to maybe look at your, your year a little differently. And so let's run through these prompts. The first thing though I'm gonna encourage you to do is think about these 9 prompts for yourself. Right? As if you're journaling or reflecting at the very least on your past year. And then based on what you go through here, maybe you take this to the dinner table on, on Thursday, on Thursday night. If you're listening to this, this is a special Thanksgiving episode, so it should be on Thursday that you're hearing this. But I think that this applies, you know, any day of the week. So some, some questions I started working on and thinking around that I've been jotting down. Number 1: Who helped you become a better version of yourself this year? See, I think this question pulls you into awareness of the people that shaped you. Not, not necessarily the obvious big players, though we certainly could mention them, but the ones who showed up maybe in the, the key moments throughout this past year. A coach, a co-worker, a peer, a friend, anybody who maybe gave you some tough truth? Who helped you become a better version of yourself this year? Number 2, what is something difficult that you're now grateful for? What is something difficult that you're now grateful for? Here at No Days Off, we talk about it quite a bit. We grow from the struggle, not necessarily from the success. But in order to grow from any sort of struggle or obstacle, we've got to revisit it. So I think this question kind of reframes that hardship a bit as a gift. Gratitude isn't just for the good things, right? Gratitude is for those things that made you who you are right now. So what's something difficult that you're now grateful for? Number 3, What is one moment from this year that you wish you could relive? What's a moment from this year that you wish you could relive? See, this pulls you into, into your memory, makes you remember those moments of joy, brings you back, right? So it creates this presence. This is kind of this gratitude through nostalgia. It reminds you what actually lights you up. And it also, at least for me, makes me recognize how many good moments maybe slip by without proper recognition. So I'm reflecting on this. What's one moment from this year you wish you could relive? Number 4, who at your, at your table or in your life deserves appreciation, but probably doesn't hear it enough? Who at your table or in your life deserves appreciation but probably doesn't hear it enough? See, we're quick to love a lot of people privately, but we're usually pretty slow to tell them publicly. So I think this question exposes the gratitude that you've been carrying but maybe haven't been expressing. And someone in your life probably needs to hear those words. And maybe you've been, maybe you've been holding them back. So hopefully this prompts that, that conversation. Number 5, what's something small you overlooked this year that mattered more than you realized? What's something small you overlooked this year that mattered more than you realized? This is gratitude for those small moments, those micro moments. Maybe it's the morning routine that kept you sane. Maybe it's the smile of your kid that changed your mood. Maybe it was a walk or a funny joke or a song. When you start noticing these small things, you start kind of appreciating life a bit differently. You're a bit more awake, a bit more awake. Number 6: What did you almost lose this year and are grateful that you didn't? What did you almost lose this past year and you're grateful that you didn't? This is a— I think it's a little bit deeper question than the others, probably something you got to give a little bit more thought. But was there something in your world that was at risk? Maybe it was a relationship. Or an opportunity or your health. See, reflecting on what you almost lost creates immediate gratitude, immediate gratitude for, for what you still have. Number 7, and just a couple more here. Number 7, what surprised you in a good way this year? What surprised you in a good way this year? Remember, life has a tendency to throw some curveballs at you. Some of them are pretty, pretty difficult to deal with, maybe brutal at times, but some are actually gifts. A door may be open for you, or someone you didn't expect arrived in your life. Maybe the project that you thought was at a standstill, standstill, took off. Gratitude really lives, um, well, lives from time to time in the un— in the unexpected. So what surprised you in a good way this year? Number 8: What's one thing you take for granted that someone else in the world would pray for? What's one thing you take for granted that someone else in the world would pray for? This one is kind of an extension of something I heard author Sahil Bloom, uh, mention when he, when he made a statement. I shared it on this podcast a couple times when he made a statement something like It's interesting that the things that give us, you know, difficulty or pain today are things we actually may have prayed for at one time in our lives. You know, the challenging work or family or whatever it is you have right now, these are things that at one point in your life you were praying for. So what's one thing you take for granted that someone else in the world would pray for? Maybe it's your home or your job or your health or your safety. Maybe it's your freedom. I think this does a great job reanchoring perspective. And then lastly, number 9, who did you become this year that you're proud of? Who did you become this year that you're proud of? I think all these matter, but I really think this one matters a lot because we're great. At least I'm great. I think if you're part of the No Days Off Nation, you, you can relate. We're great at criticizing ourselves and we're terrible at acknowledging growth. I think that self-respect is a form of gratitude. Gratitude for your own discipline, your own effort, gratitude for your evolution. So 9 questions, and I, I encourage you to go back and listen to them again. 9 questions that I want to challenge you to ask yourself this Thanksgiving holiday. Now, as I mentioned at the start, if you want to change up some of the conversation or the routine that you have at the Thanksgiving table, maybe one or two of these questions would be great to ask everybody sitting around you. You don't have to do these prompts alone. They can become something entirely different when you use them at the Thanksgiving table. So instead of going around with the same predictable answer, Pick, pick one or two of these questions and you'll probably unlock some memories or some stories, maybe some laughter, maybe even some tears, though I don't know if we're going for that. These questions I think can really create connection or deepen connection, and that, that's the whole point of gratitude. So your action item: take a few minutes today and think around these 9 prompts. Maybe it's more than a few minutes, but work on these. And then maybe choose one or two of them for your Thanksgiving dinner. That's it. That's your action item. And of course, go eat a lot of turkey and enjoy your time with the family. I would like to give you, our listeners, our No Days Off Nation, I want to give some gratitude there. Thank you all for for plugging in, for listening to all that we have to talk about here, for sharing our podcast and being along this ride. You know, it's been almost 700 episodes now. And as much as I enjoy working on content and putting it down for my own good, 'cause it makes me better, I really do enjoy that every once in a while, one of these episodes resonates with one of you. And, and I'm thankful that you're listening and sharing and deploying our strategies and implementing all that we talk about. That's all I have for you today. The No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.