Brian Gubernick walks through a 10-question emotional intelligence quiz based on Daniel Goleman's four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Scores of 8-10 indicate high EI, which often predicts success better than IQ. Three concrete moves: identify your weakest answer and improve it, pause before reacting in conversations, and ask someone you trust for specific feedback.
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Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. I want you to think about the smartest person that you know. Now I want you to think about the person who's the best at working with people maybe leading teams, maybe just calming a tense room. They are usually not the same person. That gap, the distance between, or the gap between the smartest person you know and the person who's best at working with people or leading teams, that gap is explained by emotional intelligence. Today, we are going to run a quick quiz, a 10-question quiz. Just like we did when we did a 9-question quiz a couple weeks ago around wealth, which you should go back and revisit that No Days Off episode if you didn't take the 9-question quiz on wealth. Today we're doing a 10-question quiz to help you assess your own emotional intelligence, EI. No overthinking, no long tests, just a self-check that you can score yourself on right here and right now. Now, before we dive in, let's make sure we define emotional intelligence first. EI, emotional intelligence, is your ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions, and also recognize, influence, and respond to the emotions of others. There are 4 core domains according to Daniel Goleman's model on, uh, of EI, of emotional intelligence. 4 core domains. Domain number 1, self-awareness. Do I understand what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling this? Core domain number 2, self-management. Can I regulate those emotions productively? Number 3 is social awareness. Do I pick up on others' emotions and needs? And then number 4 is relationship management. Can I use all of this to lead and and influence and just build better connections. Now, why does all this matter? In business and in life, EI is oftentimes a bigger predictor of success than IQ. Deals are won, teams are led, conflicts are resolved, not by the smartest person all the time, but by the most emotionally intelligent. All right, let's get to the quiz, okay? Just like we did with the wealth quiz, What I want you to do is give yourself a 1, the number 1, for every yes, and give yourself a 0 for the answer no. So 1 for a yes, 0 for a no. Be honest. I think that's the only way this works, if you tell yourself the truth. Okay, so we're going to go through the 10 questions, 1 for yes, 0 for no. Question 1: When I feel upset, can I usually identify the exact emotion behind it? Be it anger, fear, frustration, disappointment. So when I feel upset, can I usually identify the exact emotion behind it? 1 for yes, 0 for no. Number 2, do I recognize how my mood affects the people around me? Number 3, when I'm triggered, can I pause before reacting? 1 for yes, 0 for no, and be honest. When I'm triggered, can I pause before reacting? Question 4: Do I regularly ask for feedback on how I come across to others? Question 5: In conversations, do I pay attention to body language, tone, and what's not being said? 1 for yes, 2 for no. I'm sorry, 1 for yes, 0 for no. Number 6, when someone frustrates me, do I try to understand what they might be feeling before I respond? When someone frustrates me, do I try to understand what they might be feeling before I respond? Number 7, do I adapt my communication style depending on who I'm talking to? Number 8, intense situations. Do people often look to me to set the tone or calm things down? 1 for yes, 0 for no. Be honest. I'll read that one, one more time. In tense situations, do people often look to me to set the tone or calm things down? Number 9, do I actively try to strengthen relationships, not just complete transactions. Do I actively try to strengthen relationships, not just complete transactions? And then question 10: Do I reflect on tough interactions afterward to see what I could have done better? Remember, be honest. Now you should have a bunch of ones and a bunch of zeros, maybe more ones than zeros, maybe more zeros than ones. Add them all up. Okay, add them all up. If your total score is 0 to 4, call it what it is, you have lower emotional intelligence right now. You may be blind to your emotional patterns and their impact. You have some work to do. Don't feel bad, right? You've got some work to do if you're a 0 to 4. This is an awareness exercise, so now we can take action. If you scored 5 to 7, so you sum up all your scores, it's 5 to 7, you have moderate emotional intelligence. You're, you're probably aware, but you're inconsistent. There's definitely some room for you to sharpen. If you scored an 8 to 10, 8, 9, or 10, you have high emotional intelligence. You're likely skilled at both self-control and relationship building. There's probably still room for improvement here though. It's really hard to go 10 out of 10 on this. If you went 10 out of 10, text me. I'd love to, I'd love to know who you are. But even if you're an 8 or a 9, that means there's 1 or 2 areas where there's more opportunity. But if you're an 8 to 10, you have a pretty high level of emotional intelligence. Now, I think there's some application and some lessons here just to be thinking around. I think the first is that self-awareness is the foundation to all of this concept of emotional intelligence. If you don't see your own patterns, then you obviously cannot change them. I think the second application and/or lesson here is that we probably all have to work on pausing a bit before reacting. The ability to insert even a few seconds of pause is the superpower of those with high emotional intelligence. And then lastly, I would say that other awareness is leverage. Like, if you can read the room and adapt, you can lead more effectively. You can probably sell more effectively. You could build trust faster. So awareness of others is, is absolutely some leverage. Now I want to give you some action items. You've taken this quiz. I gave you a couple lessons. Here's some action items for you. I want first for you to pick your weakest answer from the quiz. That's your starting point. Now, if you have a number of zeros, obviously they're not all equal, right? Like some areas you may be a very, very like blatant zero. Haven't even thought about this question before. That's maybe your weakest answer from the quiz. So that's your starting point. So let's start there. The next thing I want you to do is practice the pause. This week in at least one conversation, catch yourself before reacting and then choose your response. And then number 3 action item, seek some feedback. I want you to ask one person that you trust, "Hey, what's one way I could communicate better?" And then listen without defending. So again, your action items, pick your weakest answer from the quiz. That's your starting point. In other words, go solve for how you're going to get better with that one specific low point on your quiz. Number 2, start practicing the pause a little bit more. Find yourself in one conversation this week and pause before reacting. And then number 3, ask a person you trust, what's, what's one way I could communicate better? And then listen to their response. I think emotional intelligence is the skill behind every great leader, at least every great leader that I've interacted with. I think it's also the skill behind every great salesperson and every great teammate. You don't have to be the smartest in the room, but, but, but if you're the most emotionally intelligent, you'll probably be the one who leads it. The quiz tells you kind of where you stand. The action items show you where to go. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
