Ep 749 | Take the Stone Out of Your Shoe

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. There's an old idea that is tied to Norse culture. Now, what do I know about Norse culture? Not much, but I've been watching this show this TV show called Vikings. I am way too many seasons and episodes into this to even admit, but I've been watching it. I've been learning more about Norse culture. And there's a phrase, and that phrase is, "Always take stones out of your shoe." Always take stones out of your shoe. Nothing all that crazy or novel, but take stones out of your shoe, meaning not later, not when you reach your destination, not when your foot's bleeding, but Take the stones out of your shoe immediately. I know it's kind of funny to go deep on this particular phrase, but I've just been thinking about it. And I've been applying it over the past 2 weeks since I last heard it. See, a stone doesn't stop me from walking. There are times I get stones in my shoes, little pebbles in my shoes when I'm running. Doesn't necessarily stop me from walking or running. It does, however, make every step worse after a period of time if I don't do something about it soon. And it's probably why this phrase resonates with me because I have a literal application for it, a physical application for it. But it applies so much, so much further beyond just walking or, or running. Because when you think about it, That's exactly how most breakdowns in life tend to happen. They don't happen from massive trauma. They actually happen from small, you know, little, little ignored sort of friction. And so, I want to talk about this a little bit in terms of how it shows up in health and in relationships and in your leadership because I think in all 3 of those areas, the rule is the same, and that is pain tolerated actually can become damage. Now, going back to the Vikings, right? The Vikings weren't soft people. I would not describe them as soft. They believed in endurance. They also believed though in maintenance. Taking the stone out of the shoe wasn't weakness. It was more of a discipline or maintenance. See, they understood something that we have a tendency, I think, to forget, and that's that suffering through avoidable pain isn't strength. It's more negligence than anything else. So you remove friction early so you can go farther. And I think that, that principle still applies. It certainly applies in relationships. I think this is where people mess this up more than most any other place. See, most relationship problems don't start big. They start as a comment that maybe stung a bit or an expectation that wasn't met. Maybe it's a boundary that wasn't enforced or was ignored. Maybe it's just something you let go to keep the peace. See, those examples, those are stones in your shoe. And instead of addressing it, we will tell ourselves things like, well, it's not worth it, or, you know, I don't want the conflict, or I'll just deal with it later. But every interaction after that has a bit of friction to it. Maybe the tone changes, maybe not every time, but it starts to change. The patience begins to shorten. That's resentment that's building, starts to grow. And I think that that unspoken resentment is really just delayed conflict. So if we could go back, taking the stone out would mean saying the thing early or addressing the discomfort while it's still minor, while it's still small, maybe choosing the short-term awkwardness so as to avoid that long-term damage. My experience, healthy relationships are not usually going to be conflict-free. They're more so friction-aware. Now, that's in relationships. How about health? Health breakdowns almost never come out of nowhere. In other words, health breakdowns tend to, tend to whisper before they are hollering, before they're screaming. Poor sleep, low energy, ongoing injury, nagging pain, mood swings, ignoring recovery, bad nutrition that you can get away with. Those are all stones. And I think what's ironic here is that modern culture praises toughness, like push through and grind and handle it. But if you've done any sort of endurance training, you know better. Just like the Vikings, just like the Norse culture, the goal isn't to tolerate pain, it's to preserve the body. These are different things. Ignoring these small warning signs doesn't make you disciplined, contrary to what maybe Instagram wants you to believe. Ignoring small warning signs makes the eventual setback that will occur makes it even bigger. And in health, the stone always collects interest. That's how I've seen it play— seen it play out. Now, let's apply this to leadership. Leadership failure rarely comes from one catastrophic decision. It comes from tolerated friction. The value that is bent once, the team member who's mostly okay or mostly fine, the process that everyone knows is broken but we don't deal with it, the feedback that we keep postponing. Those stones will slow the entire organization. And culture is not going to collapse overnight. Instead, it's just going to erode. Strong leaders don't just set vision, in my opinion. They remove friction. That's part of their job. So, they'll deal with the small misalignments and the early performance drift or the minor behavior issues. These are all stones, but they're dealing with them upfront and removing them from the shoe. Because if the leader's not going to take the stone out, the team is going to limp and limp indefinitely. And at least in a team environment, eventually someone's going to get injured. So what's the real lesson here? Aside from go watch this show Vikings if you're into this sort of thing. What's the real lesson? Well, the lesson here is that wisdom isn't dramatic. It's, it's sometimes it's just really practical. Don't be tougher than necessary. Maybe just be more attentive. In my opinion, strength is not ignoring pain. It's, you know, strength is, is refusing to carry that unnecessary pain indefinitely, carry it forward. That's how I think you go farther in relationships, in health, and in leadership. You refuse to carry unnecessary pain. Now, if you want to apply this immediately, here's what I think you ought to do. I think that this week you ought to identify one stone you already know about because I guarantee you there's one there. Something that's current. What's going on right now? What's that one stone in the shoe? Maybe just ask yourself, what am I tolerating that I shouldn't be? And then action item number 2, decide to remove it this week. Have the conversation, address the behavior, fix the process, whatever it is. And then action item number 3, as you close out this exercise, adopt a new filter. What do I mean? Before you ignore discomfort, ask, "Hey, is this strengthening me or damaging me?" If it's damaged, then get the rock out of the shoe. See, the Vikings didn't survive because they ignored pain. They survived because they respected pain. So, always take stones out of your shoe because the journey is long and unnecessary friction is really, really expensive. That's all I have for you today, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.