How to Ask More Powerful Questions and Have Better Conversations

Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off podcast, where we believe every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get right into it. Today I'm going to be discussing questions, or the power of questions, or frankly, how to ask better questions. See, we can all agree that the more powerful the question we ask, the better the response we're gonna get, the more powerful the response we're gonna get. So the better the question we ask of a peer, of an employee, of a, of a significant other, of our children, the better the question, the better the response, the more powerful the conversation that's gonna be had. See, how you start a question, the word used to start a question, will actually dictate or direct how powerful that question actually ends up being. So let me explain. I want you to picture a triangle, and that triangle is gonna be chopped into 4 levels. On the base level of that triangle lives the word why, W-H-Y. The next level up, the next layer up from there, we're gonna insert the word what, W-H-A-T. The next layer up from there, we're going to insert the word "how," and then the very pinnacle of that triangle, we're going to insert the word "who." So it starts at the base of "why," goes to "what," goes to "how," and then goes to "who." See, we'll start at that base level. Any question that starts with the word "why" is the weakest form of question that one can ask. Think about questions that start with the word why. Why were you late? Why did you not make your sales calls? Why did you hit your sister? What kind of answers do we get to questions that start with the word why? You're likely probably getting answers that are excuses or incomplete, or frankly, they may even be a lie. So pause for a moment and think, how many times a day do I start a question that I want to ask with the word why, and what kind of response do I actually get to that question? Now the next level up, the next order of question in terms of power, are questions that start with the word what. Okay? What can you do to make certain you're on time tomorrow? What stood in your way of making your sales calls today? What could you do differently instead of hitting your sister? Right? So you can see a more powerful question is going to yield a more powerful response. We'll move to the next level up from there, which frankly is somewhat interchangeable with the word what, but how. How questions are some of the most powerful questions that we can ask. How do you believe the highest performers in, in our industry behave? How will you make certain that you make your sales calls for 120 minutes tomorrow? Or how does a good girl behave? Again, if you're speaking to your children, right? You can see when I ask a question like how, we'll start thinking about models, we'll start thinking about systems. That is a heck of a lot more powerful than asking questions like why, which just prompts individuals, people to come up with an excuse or maybe even a lie. Well, the most powerful question we could ask, and not necessarily one we can always get to, But the most powerful question that we can ask actually starts with the word who, right? Who questions are the most powerful, and if the action steps are generated by the who question are followed, you may be able to elicit the greatest, most positive response. So for example, who can hold you accountable to being on time? Or maybe if you're a salesperson, who are you letting down when you fail to lead generate? Rather powerful. You can't always get to who, but when you can, you can get a really, really powerful response. So the focusing question for everybody today, in the spirit of taking no days off: what sort of questions can I be asking instead of why-generated questions? How can I be asking those questions, right? As you approach your day today and you have lots of different conversations, I want you to catch yourself. I want to challenge you. Catch yourself starting a question with why, and instead insert a what or a how or maybe even a who, and watch how much more powerful the conversations you have will be. Sound good? Awesome. That's all I have for you today. Remember, No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and keep in mind, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's go get after it.