In this episode of the No Days Off Podcast, host Brian Gubernick explores why active listening matters and offers concrete strategies for becoming a better listener. He begins by acknowledging his own need for improvement and gives a shout‑out to a young listener, setting a personal tone. Gubernick then outlines five core benefits of good listening: stronger relationships, clearer communication, new insights, conflict resolution, and enhanced empathy. He moves into practical steps: (1) give full attention by removing distractions and maintaining eye contact; (2) avoid interrupting to show respect; (3) ask open‑ended and powerful questions that demonstrate engagement; (4) reflect back or summarize what the speaker said to confirm understanding; and (5) continuously practice these habits. Throughout, he intersperses personal anecdotes about his own challenges and invites listeners to take immediate action—choosing one habit to implement that morning. The episode closes with a motivational reminder that each day is an opportunity to improve.
Chapters
Thank you for joining me today. It's Brian Gubernick, and welcome to the No Days Off Podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Today we're going to be discussing how to become a better listener, one that I certainly need some work on. So today's topic will be fun. Because it's not one that I would say I'm an expert in by any stretch. Some of these topics selfishly force me to reflect, do a little work, do some research, and hold me accountable to doing better. And today is definitely one of those— how to be a better listener. Before we jump into the importance of listening and the steps that we can take to be better listeners, since the topic is in fact listening, I want to recognize one of our special listeners. See, we have lots of listeners and I can't call everybody out, but this particular person I want to give a shout out to. This past weekend, she let me know that she's listening to most every one of our episodes, and that's special because this person, Bana, a friend of Katie and Avery's, my daughter, my daughters, Bana's 12, and she's listening to what we have to say here. So I'd like to think Bona's got a good jump start with this No Days Off movement, and I think she's got an incredibly bright future. So Bona, thanks for listening. Really, really appreciate it, and I hope you're enjoying it. Let's talk about today's topic though, how to become a better listener. Now first, why is it even important to listen? Why is it important to be a good listener? Now, I know that sounds a little silly to ask. I think we, we understand conceptually why we should be listening, why we should be, be more actively listening. But let's just run through a list and set the stage. Okay, number 1, being a good listener allows us to build stronger relationships. I mean, it's an essential component, right, of building strong relationships. If you don't listen, then odds are you have weaker relationships. So actively listening shows the other side of the conversation, that you value their opinion, and that would lead to deeper relationships. Number 2, active listening or being a good listener actually improves communication. I think that's a pretty obvious one, but if you're listening, you can better understand what the other person's saying. Number 3, for me, I know this is absolutely certain. When you are a better listener, you gain new insights. In other words, when you're quiet and you're really, really paying close attention, you will find or you will hear certain things that you'd otherwise miss if you were instead thinking about what you were going to say next. Number 4, it helps to listen if in fact you want to resolve conflicts. Naturally, when there's disagreement or conflict, being a good listener can help de-escalate the situation. And then lastly, number 5, being a good listener will enhance empathy. So listening to others can help you better understand feelings and emotions and, and, and makes you more supportive and understanding. And so these are really good reasons to be a better listener. Now, how do we go about doing that? That's the real question today. How do we go about doing that? The obvious thing, number one, is to simply give your full attention. Now, what does that mean, give your full attention? Sure, it means make eye contact, pay attention. But for me, it means eliminating distractions, avoiding distractions, things like getting rid of my phone before I'm about to have a conversation, or taking— even taking my watch off before I'm about to have a conversation. Because we all know the second you look at your watch, it shows that you lack empathy, or maybe you lack care. So I try to get those distractions out of the way. This is something I'm working on. And maintaining eye contact, you know, not gazing any place else or maybe looking past them at someone walking by, giving full attention. The next thing that I certainly need to work on, and I'm guessing there's a few of you out there that need to work on this as well, avoiding interruption. See, interrupting someone when they're speaking is disrespectful, just call it what it is. And it can really make them feel like you're not hearing them. They feel unheard. And so we can all be a bit more patient in waiting for individuals to finish speaking before we respond. And this is a big focus for me right now. Another thing we could be doing, asking questions. Questions show that you're engaged. They help you clarify. They help you dig a little deeper. Right? They show that you care. Open-ended questions allow you to gather more information, right? Allow you to engage. And so for me, I know questions that I like to use, use when I'm truly listening and I'm engaged, I will say things like, "Tell me more." Not really a question, but a statement. "Tell me more," or "What made you feel that way?" or "How would you approach that differently if you could do it all over again?" Right? Those things create dialogue, a back and forth. So asking more questions, asking more powerful questions, and if you want to learn how to ask powerful questions, go back to one of our episodes just a few weeks ago. But asking some powerful questions increases the conversation flow, improves the conversation, I should say, and displays that you're more actively listening. Last idea for you, something that I'm working on as well, reflecting reflecting back on what I'm hearing, meaning that when someone makes a statement, I sometimes can restate it in my own words to make sure that I'm in fact understanding. So if I hear something, I could turn around and summarize it. So, "What I'm hearing you say is," or, "If I'm understanding you correctly, here's what I think you said." Saying these things, again, clarifying, seeking clarification, and engaging in that way improves your ability and your display of listening. Okay, it improves your ability to listen and it displays that you're in fact caring and aiming to listen. So just some ideas for you. Again, I think this is a really important topic. Many of us have too many one-way conversations, and becoming a better listener would deepen a lot of relationships and help us gain much greater understanding around a variety of things going on in conversations going on in our world. So the focusing question for you today, of the things that we cover, or maybe you have something else in mind, what can you start doing right now? What can you start doing this morning after you listen to this episode to be more purposeful in listening? What can you do? Is it eliminate distraction? Is it asking better questions? Is it avoiding interruption? Or is it something we didn't even talk about, but this conversation today, because you're listening to what I'm saying, this conversation today sparked another idea? What can you be doing to become a better listener today and deepen some of the relationships, deepen some of the conversations that you'll in fact be having? That's all I have for you today. Again, the No Days Off Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.
