In this solo episode of the No Days Off Podcast, host Brian Gubernick introduces listeners to the five most common regrets expressed by people near the end of their lives, as documented by hospice worker Bronnie Ware. He outlines each regret—(1) not having the courage to live a life true to oneself, (2) working too hard, (3) not expressing feelings, (4) losing touch with friends, and (5) not allowing oneself to be happier—while interweaving reflective questions that invite the audience to examine their own lives. Throughout, Brian emphasizes the practical relevance of these insights for the No Days Off community, urging listeners to take small, immediate actions (e.g., reaching out to a friend, reassessing work‑life balance, expressing emotions) to align daily choices with a more meaningful, authentic life. The episode concludes with a motivational reminder that each day offers an opportunity to improve and act on these reflections.
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What's going on? Thank you for joining me. It's Brian Gubernick and welcome to the No Days Off Podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get into it today. Today we're going to be discussing what I think is a bit meatier a topic, maybe a more emotional topic. Than we oftentimes cover. I know we get into some topics each day that are heavy, heavier, and probably contemplate some deep thinking. But I think of all episodes we've done thus far, this one probably creates the most deep thinking of them all. Today we're going to be talking about the top 5 regrets of the dying. A woman named, I think it's Bronnie, B-R-O-N-N-I-E, Bronnie Ware, shared these insights of the top 5 regrets of the dying. She shared them in a blog post that she did in 2008 or '09. And in that post, she had explained that she had the opportunity in her course of work, her line of work, to interact with individuals that, that were at a certain age and, and death was imminent. I believe it was hospice or some other type of care that put her in the room with many that were just around the corner from hanging up the cleats. And she wrote a post around what she had learned from those that were dying. And I believe she actually put a book out in, I want to say, 2011. Might be worth looking her up and actually seeing the full blog post. But Bronnie outlined the top 5 regrets, and I'd like to share them with you today because, well, I think this is a great outline for things that we at No Days Off, those participating in the No Days Off movement, things that we should be thinking around. In other words, what we learn, what steps can we take from maybe what Bronnie shares here. So, the 5 most common regrets shared by people nearing death. Were number 1, "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life others expected of me." Let me read that one more time. "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." That's very powerful. That's a heck of a regret coming right out the gate on this list of 5. And I believe Bronnie has shared that it in fact was the number one most shared regret, that individuals just did not feel that they lived a life true to themselves. In order— in other words, they made all sorts of sacrifices for a variety of reasons and didn't honor who they truly were, didn't live a life for themselves, and instead maybe did things that others expected of them. Where might this apply in your life? Does it apply in your life? Are you living true to yourself? Are you controlling and dictating the direction of your world, or are you being influenced or even controlled? Something to reflect on. Number 2 of the 5— top 5 regrets of the dying. Number 2: I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I'll let that one sit there for a minute. You know, in Bronnie's book, she makes a statement or she shares some notes around this about how individuals, you know, they all kind of got lost in their work worlds and they worked and they worked and they worked, then they looked up one day and they were older. They weren't able to do the things that they once were able to do. Their kids had moved out and they wish they had more time back. So I ask everybody today, how do you feel around your work schedule? If one of the top 5 regrets of the dying is, "I wish I hadn't worked so hard," I don't know, would you be saying the same sort of thing on your deathbed? It's a very, very straightforward, difficult question to address, but it's something we should be thinking about. Number 3, I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. That is one of the top 5 regrets of the dying. Individuals wished that they had shared more around their feelings, maybe had opened themselves up to deeper relationship, deeper conversation. What can we be doing today that, that allows us to express our feelings a bit more? Who could we be expressing these feelings to? Who do I need to have that conversation with maybe that I've been avoiding? Number 4 of the top 5 regrets of the dying: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. We all get caught up, we all get busy, we all, you know, have to focus on certain things in our world, and oftentimes we have to sacrifice things. And one of the first things that gets sacrificed is time in our social worlds, time with our friends, time with these relationships that matter. And I think oftentimes we think we can come back to them, and many do, many do, but clearly many don't, hence why it's a regret of the dying. So, question for you, are you as close with your friends today as you wish you were, or as you wish you could be? What can you do differently? What friend of yours do you owe a call to? What friend of yours should you set a dinner with? What friend haven't you reached out to that you've been thinking about every day and saying, "Man, I need to call so-and-so," and you just don't do it? Could you do that today? Something to consider. And last of the top 5 regrets of the dying, "I wish that I had let myself be happier." "I wish that I'd let myself be happier." I think there's many different ways to interpret that one, but I think the obvious one here is people look back across their lives and think, "Gosh, I coulda, I coulda been happier." And I think they've determined on their deathbed that happiness was a choice. So I wish that I let myself be happier. Are you hard on yourself right now? Are you letting yourself enjoy all aspects of life? Are you working on your happy— happiness? Are you thinking about what makes me happy and how can I do more of that? What makes you happy right now that you don't do enough of, and how could you spend more time doing it? So that's all I have for you today. No, no lessons of mine. I just think looking at this, this list and contemplating, you know, how we'd answer these questions or how we'd, how we'd think around these things if in fact we were on our deathbed, or dare I even say, like, if you had to share what you regretted today up into this point in your life, what would you be sharing and what changes or what corrections could you be making? I just want you thinking today. And if we could take action for a minute or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or whatever it may be around any of these subjects today, well, hell, we didn't take the day off and we improved. That's all I have for you today. Thank you so much for listening. Remember, every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's go get after it. Thank you. 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