In this recorded talk, Bridget (Bridgeen) introduces a free live Zoom meditation series and then narrates Ajahn Brahm’s parable “Opening the Door of Your Heart,” which features seven monks in a cave confronted by bandits. The head monk is asked to choose one monk to sacrifice; he cannot decide because his love for each monk—including himself—is equal and unconditional. Bridget uses the story to illustrate the importance of loving oneself as much as loving others, emphasizing forgiveness, self‑compassion, and the danger of cultural tendencies toward self‑sacrifice. She speculates that the bandits, moved by the head monk’s teaching, become monks themselves. The talk ends with a call for audience comments and participation in upcoming meditation sessions.
Chapters
Hi, it's Bridget. I'm back again with another wee story from Ajahn Brahm for you. Tonight's story is a really special story. It's all about learning how to love ourselves. But before I get into that, I'll just explain. I'm in my pajamas. I'm just out of the shower. I've been working all day on Zoom, Eventbrite, Facebook, my website, trying to get everything ready for our meditations next week. Starting on Monday, every morning at 8:00 AM and every evening at 8:00 PM, I will be offering a free live meditation via Zoom. And you do have to register if you're interested, just hop over to my website and, um, it's www.immeasurableminds.co.uk. So I would love you to join me. Just click on the classes page there and register. And, um, I'll see you on Monday morning live. This is recorded, so, and it's free. So I hope you enjoy this story as well. This week's story is called Opening the Door of Your Heart by Ajahn Brahm. Several centuries ago, 7 monks were in a cave somewhere in Asia, meditating on unconditional love. Now pay attention because I'm going to be asking you I'm gonna ask some questions halfway through this story, so listen in. There was the head monk, his brother, his best friend. The 4th monk was the head monk's enemy. They just could not get along. The 5th monk was a very old monk, so advanced in years that he was expected to die at any time. The 6th monk was sick, so ill That he too could die at any time. And the last monk, the 7th, was the useless monk. He always snored when he was supposed to be meditating. He couldn't remember his chanting, and if he did, he would chant off-key. He couldn't even keep his robes on properly. But the others tolerated him, and thanked them for teaching him patience— teaching them patience. One day, a gang of bandits discovered the cave. It was so remote, so well hidden, that they wanted to take it over as their own base, so they decided to kill all the monks. The head monk, fortunately, was a very persuasive speaker. He managed— don't ask me how— to persuade the gang of bandits to let all the monks go except for one, who would be killed as a warning to the other monks not to let anyone know the location of the cave. That was the best deal the head monk could wrangle from the bandits. The head monk was left alone for a few minutes to make the awful decision of who should be sacrificed so the others could go free. When I tell this story, I pause here to ask my audience, Well, who do you think the head monk chose? I remind them there was the head monk, the brother, the best friend, the enemy, the old monk, and the 6th monk, both close to death, and the useless monk. Who do you think he chose? Some suggest the enemy. No, I say. His brother? Wrong. The useless monk always gets a mention. How uncharitable we are. Once I've had my bit of fun, I reveal the answer. The head monk was unable to choose. His love for his brother was exactly the same No more and no less than his love for his best friend, which was exactly the same as his love for his enemy, for the old monk, the sick monk, and even the dear old useless monk. He had perfected the meaning of unconditional love. He too was expressing to his fellow monks, the door of my heart will always be open to you, whatever you do, Whoever you are. The door of the head monk's heart was wide open to all with unconditional, non-discriminating, free-flowing love. And most poignantly, his love for others was equal to his love for himself. The door of his heart was open to himself as well. That's why he couldn't choose between himself and others. I remind the Judeo-Christians in my audience That their books say to love thy neighbour as thyself? Not more than yourself, not less than yourself, but equal to yourself? It means to regard others as one would regard oneself, and oneself as one would regard others. So why is it that most of my audience thought that the head monk would choose himself to die? And I have to say, it's not in the book, but When I read this and I ask my audience here in Belfast, they say the same thing. Most people say he chose himself, he sacrificed himself. Why is it in our culture that we're always sacrificing ourselves for others and this is held to be good? Why is it that we're more demanding, more critical, and more punishing of ourselves than of anyone else? It is for one and the same reason: we have not yet learned how to love ourselves. If you find it difficult to say to another, the door of my heart is open to you, whatever you do, then that difficulty is trifling compared with the difficulty you will face in saying to yourself, me, the one I've been so close to, For as long as I can remember myself, the door of my heart is open to me as well, to all of me, no matter what I have done. Come in. That's what I mean by loving ourselves. It's called forgiveness. It is stepping free from the prison of guilt. It is being at peace with oneself. And if you do find the courage to say those words to yourself, honestly, in the privacy of your inner world, then you will rise up to meet sublime love. One day we all have to say those words, or ones similar, with honesty, without playing games. When we do, it is as if part of ourselves that had been rejected, living outside in the cold for so long, has now come home. We feel unified, whole, and free to be happy. Only when we love ourselves in such a way can we know what it really means to love another, no more and no less. And please remember, you do not have to be perfect, without fault, to give yourself such love. If you wait for perfection, It never arrives. We must open the door of our heart to ourselves, whatever we have done. Once inside, then we are perfect. People often ask me what happened to those 7 monks when the head monk told the bandits that he was unable to choose. The story as I heard it many years ago Didn't say. It stopped where I have finished, but I know what happened next. I figured out what must have ensued. When the head monk explained to the bandits why he couldn't choose between himself and another and described the meaning of love and forgiveness as I have just done for you, then all the bandits were so impressed and inspired that not only did they let the monks live, But they became monks themselves. How good is that? Thank you very much. See you tomorrow night. Let me know what you thought. I love your comments. It means a lot. Thanks a million.
