Stop the Self-Sabotage - You're Holding The Hose!! - Reality Check!

Let's stop it right here. Look at this little girl. She's playing, she's laughing, she's having fun. It's a tough world out there, but she has her protection. She has her hose. She can protect herself. Now, it's a lot like life and love. In the beginning, it's exciting, it's adventurous, but it can also be a little dangerous if we're not careful. So we're taught to always make sure that we protect ourselves, to have our hoes in order to keep the predators away, especially when it comes to relationships. Protect your heart at all costs. Don't let them see the real you yet. If you act too interested, they'll pull away. Don't share too much, they'll use it against you. We're just protecting ourselves. And it feels like it works because we aren't getting abandoned or rejected or even hurt. But here's the thing, those same tools that we use to protect ourselves may have quietly become the very things that sabotage our lives and relationships. You see, she doesn't realize she's the one holding the hose. She's soaking herself, but she thinks it's happening to her. But it's not. It's happening through her. She's holding the hose, just like it happens in life. We want to protect ourselves, so we pull away when things get close, fearing vulnerability or rejection. We overthink and assume the worst instead of communicating openly and possibly getting our needs met. We avoid honest conversations, leading to resentment and emotional distance. We constantly test and push people away, which in fact creates the disconnection that we're hoping to avoid. What began as protection becomes armor. What began as boundaries becomes isolation. What began as independence becomes that disconnection. We play small. We avoid closeness. We procrastinate. We overthink. We unintentionally make sure that things never quite work out, and then we blame We justify, or we call it fate. And it makes sense, because our intentions were sincere, and when we were young, it did in fact work. Just like we were taught, it did keep the predators at a distance, and it helped us feel safe. But now it's hurting us. We flinch at anything that feels close. We push away people who care. We don't trust anything that feels stable because we don't believe or understand it. We're not used to it, and we suspect that it's fake. The chaos now feels more familiar. We've gotten used to it. We've turned the hose inward, and it feels normal now. We don't even realize we're doing it to ourselves. We've built walls. We avoid risk. We don't speak up. We stay guarded. Emma! Emma! You're holding the hose! At some point, we have to realize that we're the ones holding the hose. What once protected us is no longer serving us. We're allowed to grow beyond it. We're allowed to live without hurting ourselves in the process. We can stop soaking ourselves in fear, in avoidance, in self-doubt. We're not under attack anymore. Sure, we've made some mistakes, but we've learned the lessons. We've developed the life skills. We have awareness now. We have agency. We don't need to live in fear of the same kind of abandonment that we developed as children. We're adults now. We'll be okay. But I get it. It's not easy because you've been doing it so long it has become a part of who you are. So maybe you need some help. If you're ready to identify your patterns, heal your wounds, and take down the walls, walls, come and see us at Discover You. These are live events on Zoom. They're affordable, they're effective, and we do our best to have some fun. Let's figure out who you are and what you're doing to self-sabotage and start healing. Are you ready to put down the hose?