Men's need for control stems from childhood abandonment fears, not conscious choice. A man's nervous system drives him to avoid failure because weakness feels like unworthiness, risking abandonment. He suppresses emotions and clings to control to stay safe and maintain belonging.
He's not consciously choosing control. His nervous system actually demands it. He has abandonment wounds that he doesn't understand and never will unless he seeks the awareness. He cannot fail because that will tell everyone around him that he's weak, and if he's weak, he's not worthy, and if he isn't worthy, he will be left behind. He doesn't want to be abandoned like he felt as a child. So he adapts. He's not going to admit weakness. He needs to stay safe, and he wants to belong, so he doesn't show too much, he doesn't need too much, and he doesn't feel too much, because control is what has kept men and society safe for all of time.
