Building Strength, Overcoming Challenges, and Finding Success with Brandon Mancine

You're listening to the PT Profit podcast, episode number 287, Building Strength, Overcoming Challenges and Finding Success with Brandon Mancini. Are you ready? Let's get started.

Hi, I'm Beverly Simpson, former fitness manager turned online personal training business owner. And this podcast is where smart fitness professionals, including trainers and clinicians, discover how to increase client performance in movement, package and position their products and services and get out of their own way so that they can increase their revenue to live a life that they love without sleazy sales. Welcome to the PT Profit Podcast.

Welcome back to the PT Profit Podcast. I am once again introing this episode, filling in for Beverly. She got the opportunity to interview Brandon Mancini, a personal trainer and Coach with over 20 years of experience who shares his journey in the fitness industry and his passion for helping parents and business owners prioritize their health. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on the basics and building strength to improve overall health and longevity. Brandon also discusses the impact of his own accident on his perspective and approach to fitness. He highlights the principles of success, including having a clear vision, being honest with oneself, and prioritizing what truly matters. This is a truly inspirational episode. So if you find that you resonate with it, please tag at B. Simpson Fitness on Instagram or wherever you share on social and give the podcast a five star rating on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Leave us a review. We really appreciate it. If you have a guest that you'd like to see on on the show, reach out to info bitness.com or connect with me directly@chris bitness.com thanks for listening. Enjoy this episode.

What's up Brandon? Thank you so much for joining me on the show today. How are you doing?

Very well Beverly, thank you for having me. Very happy to be here.

I'm super excited to dive into our conversation today. So for those of you who are tuning in and have not been introduced to the pleasure of your work, can you please share with us a little bit about who you are, who you serve and how you got there?

Yeah, absolutely. So I am a man, husband, father, business owner, coach, doing my trying my damnedest to be better at all of those. I been personal trainer slash coach, you know, for over 20 years now. I don't really like to get caught up in in labels too much, but that kind of summarizes what I do. Majority of that time spent in in big box gyms. Branched out on my own in 2014. Been doing actually online coaching since 2009. So when I was working in these big box gyms I would be moved around the country to help, you know, when I got into management, you know, build up personal training departments, teach trainers how to run their business better. And I, when I would move from one city to another, you know, you, you do your best. I don't know if you've ever done that or others out there who have. You do your best to hand off those clients, but sometimes clients don't want to be handed off. And you know, this is around the time when Skype was first becoming a thing. So been doing online coaching for, you know, a long time now. Always, you know, when I first got into it in like 2001, it's when functional training was becoming really popular, you know, and everybody was standing on top of Bosto balls and using all different kind of crazy tools. And I was really fortunate to, to at that time work with some guys who, you know a guy, Ahmed Ragheeb, who won silver in Sydney in Olympic lifting in the, in 2000 and gold in the Worlds, you know, two years later, Guy named Todd Hamer, who, if anybody who reads elite fts, he's been featured on there a lot and has been strength edition coach for, you know, some, some major schools. And they would tell me like, okay, if somebody wants to stand on top of a baseball, great, help them do that. But squat, hinge, push, pull, like these basics get them stronger at that because that is what it's going to make them a better athlete. And when they practice those movement patterns in their 20s, 30s and 40s, they're going to be able to get up and down off the toilet by themselves in their 70s, 80s, 90s. Right? So we're talking about what's been referred to recently as functional lifespan, right? Not just how long do you live, but how vibrant do you live for how long you live. Right? And, and also being more injury resilient, not, not just less prone to injury, but able to recover, recover from those injuries better. And you know, that's something I got to prove myself a few years ago after, after an accident. So it's, it, it, you know, it rings true.

Okay, so so many different directions that I, and questions are coming up for me. So number one, if I also ask anything that is off limits, just let me know. Sometimes I can be nosy.

So I was an infantry Marine right out of high school. You're not going to offend me or you can try and, and I'm an open book, so ask away.

Okay. Okay, great. So my, you know, after being in the, in the industry for over two decades, you know, 2001, that's OG, right? In my opinion, I didn't come into the space until 2009, so that's why I'm like, oh my gosh, it's amazing. How have. You know. So now that you've been in and you've served a whole bunch of demographics from B2C business to consumer, as well as coaches. So I'm curious for you, where are you the happiest when it comes to serving people in the fitness industry? Are you still in the world of, you know, building businesses with coaches or you still. Or are you helping the general population in, you know, live a functional, healthy lifestyle?

Helping where, where I find it, I, where I find myself working most is helping parents and business owners really get their, their health back because you sacrifice so much in building those businesses. You know, my wife and I own a few businesses ourselves outside of fitness and we, I'm 46. I. So we're. I'm a, an old dad, right. So I have a four year old son, a two year old daughter, and I've trained plenty, plenty of parents in the years before I became a parent myself. And I think I was pretty good at. Without having lived through that, having empathy, empathized with, you know, as busy as I like to keep myself with the struggles that they go through for time. But, but there is nothing that can teach you that like having a kid or two. Right? So helping people figure out like how, how do I fit it in, right? How do I make sure I'm prioritizing myself and in for no other reason than modeling how important that is for children to live that way as they grow. We have a gym at the house and my kids, my son and my daughter see me and my wife work out consistently sometimes we have, you know, a local gym we go to if we want to get outside of this space because we work here, live here, worked out here. Right. So it's good to do that too. But yeah, helping business owners and busy parents really hack away the unessentials, hack away the bullshit and figure out how do I make this work, how do I build myself to be the best version I can be so I can serve my family, my business, my kids, my community.

Amazing. And as a parent myself, I have a six year old and an eight year old and I understand it is the hardest job you'll ever love that no one teaches you how to do.

Nope.

Crazy to me, but it's intense. No, I'd love for you to share a little bit if you wouldn't. Mind you said you had an accident. What happened in your accident and what transpired and what, what, how did that serve you in your business?

So it was 2017, November 2017. So I been 40 for three months, right. I turned 40 that July. And November 19, 2017, I was squatting 405 for some singles. And then I did a workout called Power Elizabeth, which if you're familiar with CrossFit, you know that workout coaching in a couple of different gyms in downtown San Antonio. And at 40, I was keeping up with the guys half my age, surpassing some of the guys half my age. And then November 20th, this was. We didn't have kids yet. We were living downtown. I was loading my dog to into my Jeep, taking her for chemo treatments, and intoxicated driver came along and hit me and pinned me between the front of his truck and the back of my Jeep. So November 19, squatting 405 Power Elizabeth, November 20, the accident, November 21, 2017. My workout was taking 10 steps with a walker before I, my leg felt like it was going to explode. So through that, you know, you just suddenly lose your, your ability to function. Right. And you are just become dependent on everybody else. So a couple things came out of it. First, let's get into. One of the nurses in the ICU was a member at one of the gyms that I coached at. So my physical ability was just kind of known on the floor. And there was a doctor who came in and she was. I had no broken bones. I still have the rear bumper from my Jeep that has my leg print in it. I'm, I'm trying to find. It's a side project, but I'm gonna get refinished and we're gonna put. This is why we train. And I'm gonna hang it up on the wall in my gym. But three severe bone bruises, severe crush injured, all the muscles in the leg, my right leg, and a tendon tear. So the, the doctor comes in and she said, Mr. Mancini, you, you know, there are some people who would have lost their leg. There's a few people this accident would have killed. Most people would have at least had some breaks to their, their, their leg. Because of your exercise history, because of your strength training history, you had, you fared this accident better than most people would and you recover better than most. But I, I want you to understand those days of the health and fitness level you had are behind you. And I, I just, I looked at her and I said, hey, who's in charge of my career? And this was a perfect encapsulation of what miscommunication can happen. Because the look on her face immediately told me she thought I was asking, where's the man in charge? It was not what I was asking. She said, I'm in charge of your care. Are you okay with that? I said, no, you're a consultant. I'm in charge of my care. I need you to understand that. I will squat 405 again. And it took me 16 months to get back to 405. During my, my rehab, I was all in. I was doing 20 minute ice baths two or three times a week. My supplement protocol was like 86 pills a day with fish oils, bromelain, boswellia, just all these different herbs that, and vitamins and minerals that would, would spur recovery. Doing three collagen shakes a day, red light therapy, all this good stuff. And when I would go to physical therapy, it was a great boost for my ego. The, the pts there nicknamed me Wolverine because they said they had never seen anybody recover so quickly. So I just, I love that. But, but the, the point behind all that is the works. It works for what it's intended to do. If you put yourself through some intentional self induced suffering, it means you can endure more and you can suffer less when life throws unintended suffering at you.

So, yeah, I mean, holy shit, for better word, I mean, you know, I, I just am. So I am, I'm blown away by the mental resilience of what that must have required in the face of, you know, the world essentially saying, you're not going to be able to do this, you know, or maybe not the world, but like people that are in charge of your, of your recovery.

So that, that's the thing is, you know, we hear it so much. Someone else I was talking to put it as, we're so willing to outsource our health, right? And we can't do that. This is the only thing we truly own. Right. And, and when you talk about the world, I want to address a concept there. So what is strength? Well, if we're to summarize it immediately, people think of physical strength, right? But you know, being a coach, it's when we're looking at strength training, squat, hinge, push, pull, like I was talking about earlier, it's the strength is the ability of a position or pattern to maintain its integrity under increasing load, increasing stress, right? So your squat, if your squat pattern looks the way it's supposed to, great, we put more weight on there, it keeps it great. It's maintaining Its integrity. When we hit a point where it break you, you have a butt wink. The spine rounds, whatever it is, you're not strong enough yet in that position for this stress you're trying to endure. So we talk about. You can overlay that to, you know, your beliefs, you know, political positions, your intellectual positions, your relationships. How much stress can they endure? And the circle of people that I had around me when I went through that was critical because my wife didn't leave my side for the whole week I was in the icu, except, like, you know, I had a craving for Chick Fil A, so she went and grabbed some Chick Fil A for me, right. Or whatever. And, you know, she was, she was working full time. This was again, before we had kids. She was like, no, I'm here. My clients, my circle of friends, like, just could not have. Could not have done it without them. When you think about building strength in your life, you know, people will talk. You'll hear people who've gone through the change, and they'll talk about a lifestyle change, what I like to call lifestyle evolution. We can talk about the difference there in a bit. They'll talk about how it's just flowed into every other aspect of the life. And it's true because you learn these fundamental principles that are true across all aspects of life, and it helps you deal with all those aspects better. So if I'm cutting out the essentials, I'm sorry, cutting out the unessentials in health and fitness and nutrition, I can see how it makes my life better and it makes it easier to cut away toxic relationships, to set boundaries and work and all that good stuff.

I mean, it, it, it's, it's. It blows my mind when I hear stories like that when we're talking about, you know, you're, you were talking about strength and you defined it in terms of, you know, the physical strength that we think of in the, in the main patterns. Right. I also think that there, there's just a. Also mental strength set and mental resilience that is also included that we just don't talk about that. People underestimate that we forget that that's also a muscle that we need to exercise. Is the message. Fortitude in, in resilience. Right. And that, and that. I, I think that it's one of the paradoxes I, I talk about a lot when it comes to this, this concept, this idea that it's both you give yourself grace and you also don't get yourself. Let yourself get off the hook to doing what it is that you say you're going to do, right?

You know, you're going to make mistakes, right? And you, you learn from them. You, what's the old stoic saying, right? I'm going to butcher it. But it's like scroll your successes in stone and write your losses in sand. Write your failures in sand, right? You write them down so you can learn from them, but then you let the wind and water wash them away. But your success is put them in stone so you can, you're reminded of things you, you've done well. And what you have the, the other saying, you, you've made it through 100 of your bad days.

Yeah. And I, you know these, these cliches that people toss around, you know, people complain about them, but I'm like, listen, they're cliche for a reason or a reason or a reason, right. And there are things that are, are, you know, I'm also just a firm believer and I operate my life from knowing that you are going to be served to the level, the level of challenges that you can face. And if you want to grow, it will require you to, to raise your ability to handle challenges because we're not exempt from them. It's just how fast can you move through them?

Yeah. And, and the more you learn to deal with them, the more you deal with them, the more you learn to deal with them and the easier they get and the more challenge you can take on. Again, the same principle we learn in strength training. And I'm trying to, you know, I am teaching that to my kids. That's something my son and I say back and forth to each other. He called me on it the other day. Whenever something's hard, I tell them, well, Mancinis do hard things. And then the other day he caught me, I said, oh man, this is already goes dead, man. See, you need to do our things. I was like, you're right. Yes, yes, we do. Let's go.

So funny. So I'm, I'm also curious, you know, when I, I, I say this to my coach too, by the way. I've asked her this. I'm like, is it hard for you to be with people who seem like they're drowning in knee deep water? But what I really mean is that, oh, that's good. When you, you know, after going through something like that after, or, and you know, anytime someone comes to, through the other side of their hard days, how do you find empathy and compassion when for the people that you are spending your time with, when it feels like, hey, Just stand up right. Like it's okay, we're going to get through this. Like, do you ever find it hard to find empathy there? And how do you help people get out of the mud?

I mean, when I was younger, sure, again, right out of high school, I went into the marines. I was a machine gunner by trade, worked in special operations with FAST company. And that's, you know, in that environment it's, you don't have time for the. So on those days when I was drowning in knee deep water or someone else was get the up, let's go, like we've got to do and that, you know, we're early in my training career, that attitude helped with certain demographics. But you know, again, as I was working in with a team of trainers with diverse backgrounds and would, would start working, I remember hearing people, younger trainers tell parents, well look, you either want it or you don't. Like man, they're, they're here, they want it. And you know, that woman's got four kids. I don't have kids, but I know that's got to be. And I would talk to the trainer who does and they're like, yeah, anybody who says that to a parent is a, and not helping that person. So yeah, the first thing you got to do is when I sit down with somebody in a consultation, it's not me selling them, training or coaching or whatever. It's me finding out if we're a good fit for me to be service of service to them. Right. Because if, if, for example, if somebody wants to do a stage competition, a bodybuilding show, I could probably help them. But honestly, I don't get it. Like I don't care about getting up on stage in underwear. I understand that it's difficult to do and some people view it as an accomplishment, but it's not something I really care about. Right. I like obstacle course races, I like, you know, combat sports. I boxed when I was younger. You know, that's, that's my thing. So if I sit down with somebody and we talk about their challenges and, and I can say this is something I understand, this is something I've worked through, then I can, you know, I can empathize with their specific situation. If it's not something I can connect with, but it is something that challenges them. As long as I've been in this industry, I've got connections and I will steer them to someone that I think is right for them. You know, be it another coach or you know, sometimes it's, it's a therapist because that's you know, physical health and mental health are symbiotic. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not a therapist as much as sometimes clients like to think that we are. No, not.

Yeah, listen, I have that, too. In business. Right. Growing and, you know, this firsthand. Growing a business is going to literally, you know, put the mirror up and force you to look at some things that maybe you didn't want to look at or think you needed to look at.

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, would you. You know, and. And since recovering. Right. And in recovering of that experience of that accident and coming from their Marines, like, was there a sense of resiliency in terms of, like, there's probably, like, what else? Like, I can overcome anything. Like, how did that. How has that continued to impact you both in the. The, you know, humility side of it as well as the, like. No, I. I feel like Wolverine, Superman.

You know, it's great to connect with those. Those characters when you need some inspiration. But there's also. I keep going back to stoicism in this conversation. You know, memento mori and carpe diem. Like, so we're. We're not here forever, but we're here today. Right. So we want to make the most of this day, be present in the moment, get the most that we can out of this moment. So if I'm with my wife and kids, that's engaging with them, and I'm look, by no means perfect at any of this. So, you know, we're talking ideals here. But, you know, there is, you know, none of us are perfect. But doing my best to be present in those moments and engage with them and get the most that I can out of those moments is the same way I approach my exercise and be present in that moment. Know, stay in the pattern, do the work that I'm. I'm here to do so that I can achieve the goals that I want to achieve when I'm in my business, be present in that business so I can take that business, serve my customers. And then the time that I'm away, that business, you know, feeds me and my family. It's. Yeah. Again, it. It just comes back to those. Those same principles, principles of success overlaid to whatever aspect of your life it is that you're. You're in at that moment. And that's, you know, that's integrity, that's consistency of character. And again, not perfect at any of this, but as I said at the beginning, doing my damnedest to be better at each of these roles.

Yeah. So you mentioned the principles of success. Can you unpack that? How do you define the principles of success?

Yeah, sure. So clear vision, right? So what is it that you want? And I, again, this is one of those things I think it's best to write out. You can have a conceptualized idea of it, but write it out, work through it. You know, you can type it out to work through it, but then I think it's best to physically write it down and have it up somewhere. Clear vision of what you want. And I think it's good to have a one to five year plan of that, but then also have like that, that lifetime plan. What are you willing to give up to get there? And this is something, you know, I used to, with clients, have them write their eulogy. Have you ever done that? Yeah, that's a good one to do. I've done it a couple of times. But I got to be honest, the last time I did it, it just felt a little bit, you know, I've done it three times myself. The last time was kind of a little bit different. Talking to a friend a few months ago now, he brought up the idea of writing a breakup letter with yourself. And so not just because the eulogy kind of has an end thing to it. Nothing else can change but the breakup letters. You know, these are the things that, when I was in management, you know, we used to say, manage up or manage out, right? If somebody's got a bad attitude, hey, I want you here. This has to leave. If you leave with it, hey, that's okay, because. But I'd like you to stay. But we need this. Leave. Manage up, manage up. That's what the breakup letter does for yourself. What are the things that I'm doing? They're not feeding this vision that I have, this goal that I have. Then set a plan to, to get to that goal, right? So we've got the vision, we got the things that we're cutting out. We're hacking away the unessentials. We get a plan to get there that has process, goals to make sure we're on course, right? And then you come back to your schedule and you put in those daily tasks that are adaptable. Because again, if we're business owners or, or have a job, you're a parent, it comes back to what I call. I voice it two ways, depending on who I'm speaking to. I think your audience can handle either version. It's the chaos sandwich or the sandwich, right? I wake up and I have my morning routine and I have my evening routine before I go to bed. And those are the two slices of bread. And what's in between there is the chaos or the shit that I got to deal with that day, right? So it's an adaptable plan. I've got my workouts planned. But if something pops up and has to get slid, that gets slid. I've got my, my appointments and my business stuff planned. If something comes up with important with the family and it has to get slid, that has to get slid. But I check those boxes off at the end of the day, I review it. What need, what got accomplished, what needs to get slid to another time slot. So have that vision, have that goal, have that life term vision, have that, you know, shorter term goal of, of, you know, what you're working on, have a plan to get there, have a, you know, time bound objectives that are process goals in there and then have those daily tasks that you're ticking off every day to keep you on track to hit those objectives, to hit that goal, to keep you in line with your vision.

Yeah, cool. I wouldn't change it. That's, that's essentially what I, you know, I, I essentially do the same thing. And I love that you talk about the flexibility, right? Because I think a lot of people get this twisted, right? Is that it's one of those like, you know, are you breaking your word to yourself? And if you are, then you have to look at it. It's either you need, you've, you set most important tasks that are not achievable and you need to change that or you need to set. Stop breaking your word to yourself.

Yes, ma'. Am. You nailed it.

You know, because that's, that's, that's it. I mean it's amazing what happens when you just do what you say you're going to do.

Right? Things, magic things start to happen.

Just do it, right?

And when you, and when you hack out the things that you shouldn't do, right. So having a to do list and having that not to do this. Yeah, the, For a lot of people it's the endless scrolling.

So now what I'm curious about for you, you know, especially when we talk about principles, the principles are the principles, right. So how have you been able to stay, stay consistent and stay engaged in the monotony? Sometimes, you know, a lot of times people will say, oh, I'm so bored, right. Or I, I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over again. And I'm like, well, yeah, that probably means you're close to a breakthrough or you can stay. So for you how do you stay engaged?

Believe in the work. Life is not social media. It's not Instagram. Right. Those. That's the highlight reel. And it's. It's good to share that stuff. But the knocking out the. Again, it's. It's a basic principle of exercise, knocking out the basics consistently in and out, where you don't see a change in the day, in the week, maybe in the month, but, you know, it's getting you closer to that goal. Coming back and revisiting the vision, you know, are my actions in line with my vision? It would be really easy to just, you know, eat pizza every day, play video games. I used to have a T shirt that said 1988 Nintendo World Championship Semifinalist when I worked in big box gyms. That was in my email signature, because it's true. But if I just sit around and played video games and ate, you know, junk food all day, it's. It'd be great in the short term. And then life hits you. Right. So it's.

Yeah, I. I was. It's November 2nd and yesterday I ate nothing but candy. I mean, not nothing, but like, I ate a lot of candy because, you know, post Halloween and I just felt like garbage.

Yeah. So. So doing that occasionally is. Yeah, it lets you. It reminds you why, man, this is. It's different. You know, likening life to a roller coaster that, you know, most of the time on the roller coaster, it's. Right. It's the boring up the hill and then you crest that hill when you get to do something exciting for a couple of seconds and then you get to that next touch. Right. So remembering that, that, that, that's the. That's the important stuff to get done and it's the. The little things and, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. I love it. Okay. And that's so true. It is. It is a roller coaster where you're spending most of the time on the way up and all that anticipation and fear of what's going to happen and for two seconds. So it is a roller coaster and it's fun. Roller coasters are fun.

That. Yeah. The downhill and the turns and the loops and all that stuff's a blast. A little bit scary, but it's a blast.

Yeah. Well, you know, I'm curious, too. For you in your career, what are some of the most common things as you started to see the industry shift and change and twist on this roller coaster live, what are some of the most common things that you think new coaches and new trainers tend to. To, you know, what are some of the common traps that they get into that you wish you could just push pause on for them, give them some insight when they're first coming into the industry now.

Well, I'll tell you one of the, one of the things I always, the question that comes up, like, how do you identify a good culture? What's the right things to do? So I'll tell where do I start in health and fitness. So speaking mostly to clients, but I think this works for new trainers is run, don't walk, run from anybody who's touting innovation, right? If they're saying, I, I have this new innovative approach, the, that works has been working for eons. There may be some new ways to tweak and apply the, as you put it, the og Right. But the, you know, my hashtag is get strong and do stuff. And I, I liken that to like the everyday man's version of strength and conditioning, right. That, that we have to get strong and then we have to practice what we want to be good at, right? So if somebody's talking about new methods of, oh, there's the video going around like, this is the way to eviscerate fat better than anything I've ever seen. Okay, whatever. No, you be mindful about nutrition. You know, you, you have a solid strength program that fits, you know, injury, any injuries, limitations you have. And then you put in practice for the skills you want to get good at, whether that's pick up basketball, ballroom dancing, pickleball, whatever, whatever it is. So, and have that again. I'll just come back to have the vision that you want your life to look like and then build your team to help you get there. So that, that's same again. Those same principles will apply for a coach who wants to build their business or a person who wants to, to get healthy.

You know, practice. One of the things that I always say is that people, it's not practice makes, you know, perfect. We've kind of realized that that's not true. It's also that practice doesn't make progress. Practice makes permanent. And you're either practicing what you want or what you don't want. But make no mistake, you're practicing something.

Yes. Bingo.

You know, so that's like you're practicing something. Just make sure it's intentional.

That's, you know, I, I made a post a, a while ago that was, quote, getting old sucks, stated by the person who falls asleep in front of their TV every night munching on Doritos. Right? And then, you know, in the comment section, I Talked about, like, if you do it right, getting old is awesome. And it's. It's one of the best things that can happen to you because what's the alternative? You pass. Right. So, yeah, what you practice in all aspects of your life, in your work ethic, in your. Your lifestyle, in your relationships, what you practice is what you make permanent.

Yes. That's it. And you're practicing something, so.

Yes, ma'. Am.

That's. I mean, that's how I live my life, or at least try to. And I'm 42. 41. Sometimes I forget how old I am.

Yeah, I started doing that a few years ago. Yes. I forgot my birthday. When I turned 43, my wife walked in with the birthday cake, and I was like, whose birthday is it? Oh, yeah. So you're not. You're not there yet. But, yeah, that happened.

I'm not there yet. I know the day. But definitely, like, wait, what's the year? The years start to blur together.

They do.

In the best way. In the best way.

You look great. I would not have guessed in your 40s, so I would have guessed late 20s, early 30s. So what are you doing? It's working.

Lighting is amazing.

Lighting is amazing. All right, all right. Maybe I need you to work my lighting next. Oh, my gosh.

It's hysterical. It's hysterical.

Yeah. I always. I always say I'm not old, but the people that I went to high school with are.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. See, people fall asleep to themselves all the time. Especially parents. Especially parents.

Yes.

And so this is why I think it's. You know, the work for them is just so. Is so important. It's really important. All the strength that we've talked about, the strength in the mental resilience as well as physical. You know, I. I am curious. This happens to me, and so I'm curious your perspective on what ha. If. If this happens to you and how you deal with it and how you coach people through it. Because I'll just share that. You know, my daughter is 6, and she's going through something right now that is very challenging. And it's been. She's got unexplained leg pain. I'll just. I'll say that. And we are in the depths of trying to figure out what's wrong. Okay. And like, in the trenches, X rays, blood works, white blood cells. Like, we are literally doing everything we possibly can to find out what is wrong with Abby. And so on Sunday, I'm, like, driving around the er, like, going from ER to ER Essentially, urgent care to urgent care. We finally get to the er, right? And I'm in this moment of, like, oh, my gosh. I promised myself I would not do this. I promised myself that I would do anything, you know, I would do anything to make sure this, you know, to maintain health. If you just give me Abby's health, I'll do anything. I'll prioritize myself. I'll do, you know, you start, like, negotiating, right? It's one of the stages of grief. You start negotiating like, I'll do anything if you just xyz, right? And then you start going, oh, man, I promised myself I'd never do this. I promised myself. I, I always said I would. I would, I would keep my word to myself, and I would, I would probably. I would do what I said, right? And then something happens. Like, for you, your accident. For me, Abby's health feels like it's on the line. She's not, by the way. She's fine. We fix it, right?

Well, we're very happy to hear that.

We're working on it. We know that there's something wrong, but, like, at the time, I'm negotiating with myself, God, higher power, whatever you want to say, right? I'm like, I, I promise, I promise I will, I'll work out every single day if you just give me Abby's help. Does this happen to you in terms of, like, ah, you start to, like, have these moments of, like, oh, I wish that I, I, I thought.

I think that's, you know, prioritize understanding where the priorities lie. So, for example, whenever, again, whenever I sit down in a consult with somebody and we're figuring out what if we're a good fit, One of the last things I'll ask is, what is your commitment level to these goals, to these physical goals that you've set? And if somebody tells me there are 10, first thing it says, okay, great. Glad to hear that. So what we're going to do is I need you to quit your job. You're not going to talk to family or friends. I'm going to put a tent in my backyard, and we're going to, you know, cut away a section of the yard where you're going to grow your food, and. And then they go, oh, hold on. You know, okay, you're not a 10, I'm not a 10. What I want to see is an 8 or a 9 because it's important to you so that you can serve your family better, you can serve your business better, you can be more present in your life. But the example I give is when my daughter was three months old, she got RSV and so she was in the hospital for like 36, 48 hours, something like that. I can't remember. But you know, my son was 2 years old at the time. We live in San Antonio. My in laws came up from Houston to take care of him. My wife stayed with my daughter the whole time she was in the hospital. I don't know if you ever went through that with your child, but they, you know, the breathing treatments they do are like every half hour. And you know, my wife was breastfeeding her at this point and so she just stayed with her. And then the breathing treatments would happen and Freya would scream because she had no concept of what was happening. It was miserable. She couldn't breathe. And then she was, you know, back to breastfeeding and then back and forth. And so I'm, you know, driving back and forth, making sure my wife and my daughter are taken care of. Do they need anything, come back to the house, make sure the family is here. I would occasionally get to pass out on the floor in the hospital. But imagine if in the middle of that I said, hey, babe, you got this. Cool. I have a workout plan today, so I'm going to go get that taken care of in obviously not, right? My fitness plan is not a top priority, right? It's not the top priority. It is up there, right? It is like a eight and a half, nine. But wife and kids are obviously ahead of that and, but my fitness plan helps me serve them. My, my businesses are, are just as important. So they're probably, you know, one of those may slide the other depending on what the schedule looks like, what can be slid. Right. So it's understanding, being honest with yourself. I, you know, I made a, a post about this a couple weeks ago about like one of the critical things we don't talk about when starting a health and fitness journey is you have to be honest with yourself and your support system, right? About what it is you want, what you're working for towards and what you're willing to give up. And if you're not honest about that, if you tell yourself, if you tell yourself in that negotiation, whatever it is, I will do this every day as a top priority. And then something comes along that is, you know, is a higher priority, then you've lied to yourself and, and then that is it.

We've broken your word and that's no good. You can't break your word. You can't break your word.

Exactly.

It's like. It's one of those paradoxes. Or you just. I just. What I like to do for myself, I'll. I'll share is that I like to just. It's not about being perfect. You just keep restoring integrity and looking at it and being brutally and ruthlessly and relentlessly honest with yourself. And it's what my mentor likes to call living on the razor's edge, which is you care about everything and nothing at the same time. So you're caring about that. You're ruthless and honest without going down this shame spiral. You just, you just keep restoring. And 1% better keep restoring.

I like that.

Restoring your word. You just keep restoring.

Yeah. Because you're going to fall off. That raises that. You're going to make mistakes.

Yeah.

Recognize it. What do you learn? Yeah.

And then you. As long as you can just live out of the emotional state of, like, attaching the shame. Because we're human beings living a human experience. Right. And so I just want to alchemize that I, you know, stay emotionally resilient all the time. And as a parent, you need that for your kids.

Yes. Because again, another thing, they're watching and they're. And they're going to learn. And that the example I gave earlier, my son called me on dad Mancini's do hard things. Yes, son. Yes, we do.

You know, it's so funny. Yeah. Like, it's, it's funny because my daughter Abby, you know, she. To know hers, to love her, but you know that saying, you know, you get what you get and you don't get upset. It's one of the things that the kids say all the time. Right. So I've rephrased it. I tell my kids, you get what you get. You can get it. You can get upset. You might just have to accept. And so now Abby will, like, correct her teachers. No, that's not what you say. That's not what my mom says. My mom says this. And so now all the teachers are like, oh, yeah, we've adapted your way. And I'm like, oh, nice. Abby changing lives and in her elementary school.

It's great to hear that. When, when. Yeah, when we pick, when we pick the kids up and they, they'll often say, you know, Gavin, he, you know, I. Whenever he would fall or get hurt, we would do the. Take a breath, buddy. All right? Work through it. And so now the teacher told me last week, any, you know, he's such a sweet, sweet boy. Anytime, you know, one of the, one of the kids falls, he goes up and he goes, take a breath. My daddy always says, take a breath. It helps take a breath.

So it's, yeah, honestly, it is. It's. We said it earlier and it's just important. Parents need, Parents are responsible for raising the next generation. And no one teaches you it.

No. And they're watching every minute. They catch everything. Yeah, they will, they will do what you do before they do what you say. For sure.

Aristotle said, give me the, Give me the boy before he turns 7 and I'll show you, man. But now, you know, science has told us that 25, the brain develops up until 25, but a lot of the fundamental things that we're doing from zero to seven matter.

Yeah. So you read Puddling of the American Mind?

I have not read it, no.

But I, they talk a lot about the, the age 25 in that book. Yeah. Great book.

Okay, great. Well, I, I, I just am really obsessed with a lot of brain science stuff, so I go down a lot of brain science. It's fairly new that they're talking about age development now till 25.

Yeah.

But anyway, okay, so this has been super amazing. Thank you for pouring into me, pouring into my community, and I want to be respectful of your time. So for those of you who want to go deeper with you, to learn more from you, to study with you, where are some of the best places I should send them?

Sure. Instagram. I have two handles on Instagram coach Brandon Mancini. All one word. BMF coach Brandon Mancini Fitness is, is my company. So BMF coach. You can go to brandedmancini.com or bmfcoaching.com easier to spell. Takes you to the same place. The website is being revamped right now. Hopefully by the time this upload episode comes out, it will be launched. We know how technology goes sometimes, but yeah, if you're looking to get in touch with me, Instagram's probably the easiest way. But the website will be up and we'll be launching some, some programs on there too.

I can't wait. And hopefully you're a big takeaway as you're listening to this is that even coaches need coaches. I would never expect anybody to do as I say and do more as I do. So if you're, if you want someone to invest in you, invest in yourself as well. So be sure we'll be sure to link all of that up inside of the show notes.

Thank you so much.

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