How to Be Polarizing and Kind

You're listening to the PT Profit podcast, episode number 191. Today we're unpacking how to be polarizing and kind at the same time. Are you ready? Let's get started.

Hi, I'm Beverly Simpson, former fitness manager turned online personal training business owner. And this podcast is where smart fitness professionals, including trainers and clinicians, discover how to increase client performance and movement, package and position their products and services services and get out of their own way so that they can increase their revenue to live a life that they love without sleazy sales. Welcome to the PT Profit Podcast.

What's up coach? Thank you so much for pushing play on another episode of the PT Profit Podcast. So I've actually been getting into the habit of recording episodes early on Sunday mornings and I just finished wrapping up episode number 189 and I just. I'm in the flow, I'm in the mood and my kids are still sleeping. So let's go ahead and dive into another episode today. So if this is the first time that you're hanging out with me, welcome. I'm super pumped that you're here. I'm diving into a lot of topics that have been coming up for my Jumpstart clients and for my accelerator clients. And one of the things that we always talk about, especially in accelerator, is the importance of carrying people through a messaging process, especially if you want to automate revenue inside of your business and stop turning dollar for now. Listen, if you're listening to this episode and you haven't joined us yet, inside of our new upcoming free training, Simple Selling, this is literally different than I did last year and honestly, I have not done this training in over a year. So I'm really excited to bring it to you to really help you start automating money inside of your business and stop trading dollar for hour and reduce the hustle in your days that I know that you're already doing and help you really systemize and generate the revenue that you want to generate to really help you set up and be ready to maximize your profit margins as you go into Q1. Because the truth is right now, if we are not preparing for Q1, there are people out there right now who are. And so you're running the risk of being behind and I do not want that to happen. And so the truth is, if you're not prepared for Q1 or getting prepared for Q1 right now, you're running the risk of being left behind. And that is the last thing I want my high achieving smart coaches like you doing. So after listening to this episode, or right now, if you're listening on Apple swipe up, be sure to register for the free training. It is completely free and it's really going to help you get organized for the rest of Q4 and prepare you for Q1. So go ahead and join us inside of Simple Selling. It's so weird. I haven't. I haven't talked about Simple Selling in over a year. So it's, it's kind of bringing me back. And I did have that moment of like, are we going to do it? Are we not going to do it? But no, we're going to do it. And so today we're going to be diving into being polarizing and kind. And it actually is piggybacking off of the episode I did last week, which was on growing your audience. And part of what I said, and it was just, it was, it was set off the cuff. But it's really important to really dive into this because it is something that I teach, which is being polarizing. And so people get twisted about this because what happens is that they think that being polarizing means that we have to be right and make other people wrong. And that's not what we're doing when we're being polarizing. You can be polarizing and kind. And we're going to talk about how to do that inside of this episode. And this is something I heard from Jessica and this is something I've shared with my clients. It's a perfect metaphor, is that you can be pro chocolate ice cream without being anti vanilla. We're not trying to make the opposite opinion wrong or bad. That's not the point. The point is drawing the line in the sand. Doubling down on what your message is, what your vehicle is and what your processes, and owning that and knowing that it's the fastest, most efficient way to do whatever it is that you. That that is going to help your client. So let's talk about how to do this. Let's talk about it in terms of how do we be polarizing? Okay. And what does that actually mean? Right. So there is the law of polarity, which means that you cannot have one without the other. This is why so much of what we do is nuanced. So much conflicted information. And this is why people get confused and then why they get, why they struggle. I can't remember who it was. I think it was Ben Carpenter. I saw his TikTok or Instagram that it was like splicing pieces of content together that was demonstrating. No wonder people are confused. Don't eat vegetables, don't eat meat, don't eat dairy, don't eat. Do. Don't do this, don't. Don't run on the treadmill, don't lift weights. You know, no wonder people are confused. So what's really important when it comes to being polarizing is to remember that all roads lead to Rome. And honestly, this is something. And I was sharing this a little bit in the podcast that I did last week, but it's important to remember and I have to fight this. And I think that I know for me personally is that as a high achiever, one of my neural pathways in my brain, what I do is I need to be right. I'm always looking for the right way. I'm always looking for the best way. I'm always looking for right, right, right. Even when I'm coming up with and thinking and building out messaging processes and strategies and how I help people really craft these irresistible offers, and I craft my own irresistible offers. What tends to cause me stress or cause me panic is that I'm like, is that. Is that I'm always looking for the right thing. And I'll lay awake and if I just get it right, then I'll unlock the code. But that's not what this is about. This is not what optimizing health is about. This is not what optimizing your business is about. And optimizing your wealth, when you really look at true wealth, and I'm not just talking about money, I'm talking about affluence in your life, which is a concept I learned from Mel Abrahams, who also was a guest on this show, which, by the way, if you have not listened to that episode, we'll link it in the show notes because it was so good. And it's worth revisiting because it's about affluence in your life and living a full, true life. And what wealthy people seem to have recognized and realized is that it's not just one income stream. There's lots of different income streams, lots of different ways to build an affluent life. Now, I bring this up because for me, I get so narrowly focused. I build one bridge and it has to be the right way. And then I unconsciously and accidentally get dogmatic. I don't mean to. I know better, but it's my nature. It's my neural pathway in my brain for me as a high achiever, to double down on the right way, the best way. And if you're anything like me, it's easy to do. That especially as a high performer. So, honestly, you really need to gut check yourself. And this is something for me too. And this is something I continue to learn and I continue to refine. Being polarizing doesn't mean you're making other people wrong. Okay, so then, well, how do you do that? How do you do that? Well, let's take a look at the customer journey and why this is powerful and. And why specificity is that laser beam. I always think of specificity as the laser pointer in the echo chamber of noise in the building, the audience space. There are actually four areas that you could be really specific inside of your business. Number one, it is the specificity in the problem that you solve. The more specific, the more connected to the subconscious you will become. The second is the specificity in how you solve the problem. It is the process. It is your method, it is your cues. It is unique to you because of you. And then it's the solution, the specific solution that and solution that you provide. And then the fourth one is the specificity in who. Who this is for. Do you need to be specific in all four? No. Maybe. I don't know. It depends. Guest test and assess. Can you be too specific? Sure. If there's only 10 people that this offer that you're pouring your heart and soul into is for, then chances are it's probably too specific. I'm going to encourage you to get more specific and be more specific, because most people are general. So here's the thing. When you are getting really specific in this way in these four categories, you will naturally push people away. And I was, I paused because I was looking for a better word than push because you're not actively trying to push people, but people will, in their own way, make an empowering decision as to whether or not your message is for them. Oh, I'm not a. I'm not a health and wellness professional, so this isn't for me. So people will slide into my DMs and say, hey, I'm. You know, I'm for safety or I'm for beauty. Will this help me? I know you work with health professionals, and I'm like, yes, of course it's going to help you. I'll show you how to take a workout protocol and make that harness demand. So that might not pertain to you, but the principles will pertain to you. So that's me being specific. But I'm not saying if you teach safety, you're bad or wrong or awful. That's not what I'm saying. Now, is There information out on the Internet that is actually harming people. Yeah, there is, of course. And if you are the type of person who wants to call that out and you want to be confrontational in that way, then by all means you go, do you. I get that most people are scared, however, to draw a line in the sand because they don't want to offend people and hurt people's feelings. And frankly. And I also want to clarify that the people who are out there calling out misinformation in the Internet, they don't want to hurt people's feelings either. Not saying that people are in. You know, while I think there are people that intentionally hurt others, the people I'm talking about are not intentionally hurting other people. They're trying to stop spreading misinformation. The reason I just bring this up is because a lot of people, the more aggressive, the more confrontational that that that shows up. It will tend to. To put people on the defense a little bit more. And people, when they feel defensive, they will attack you. So what? I' not that that's wrong or bad. It's just that you need to know you and your temperament and how aggressive you want to be and what you can and can't handle. And honestly, this comes down to your conviction. It comes down to your temperament and your conviction. So what I mean by that is, if someone was screaming at me right now, walking down the street, they were walking down my street, and they saw me, and they were like, oh, my gosh, Beverly, you have the ugliest green hair I've ever seen. You. You' so awful. And then started attacking me for my green hair. I would look at that person and I would think, oh, shame that poor person, because I'm. I know I don't have green hair. I would not internalize it and personalize it and think I'm so ugly and awful because I don't have green hair. And I know it. So that's what I mean. Number one, be polarizing by being convicted. If someone comes at me at the Internet and says, oh, you're so awful, like, I would never listen to you because you only have 200 followers like they did, which I shared in the last episode. I look at that and I just brush it off. And I said, well, you know, you're looking at my followers, not my bank account. I didn't say that to them, but I thought that that's how I can show up for myself, because I'm convicted, knowing that this is what I'm here to do. This is what I'm here to teach and this is how I can help people. And so when you show up from that place, in that specific place, you will naturally call in the people that you here to serve and empower others to move on, say no, decide it's not for them. Now, sometimes I look out into this space and I will see others, unfortunately be critical of others in an effort to, you know, sometimes put other people down or call them stupid and, you know, whatever, say all those things. And I'm just going to go ahead and say that it's important to remember that like attracts like. So what that means is that you will call in the type of people based on how you are showing up. So if you're aggressive, trying to make other people wrong, hurting people's feelings, then it would not surprise me if those people come into your space and now there's a portent conversation to be had. Because sometimes people, you know, there's a difference between impact versus, you know, intention versus impact. And there are going to be times where your impact, your, the words that you have shared and said are going to impact people differently than you potentially intended. That can be a very nuanced conversation. So I get that in terms of the burden of responsibility. And if we take it to the extreme, what I mean is that, listen, yeah, you, if you killed someone, you're going to be held to the consequences of what that happened. That's not like, oh, that person, it's their fault that they got killed. No, absolutely not. So in those moments when that happens or if that happens and your impact, the words that you share have a different impact than you intended, then deal with it in that moment. Just get very clear on your intention and operate from a place of conviction. And when you do that, if the impact falls on someone in a way that was not intended but that isn't harmful and that you, that and you can handle that fallout in the way that Brene Brown will tell you to handle it, then, then that's what kills me, and I've noticed this in me and then also in other high performers is that the people who are really, truly helping people and really are making an impact and changing the way that we, that we share our voice, that we, you know, speak for people that, you know, be advocates, be allies and make a difference are oftentimes the people who are afraid to hurt others and then don't speak up, up and it's their voice that needs to be heard the most. And honestly, this is something I've battled with a lot. Especially because sometimes I change my mind and then I'll get into all these stories about, you know, what it means to change my mind. You know, I learned. I learned something. And I think that this is why being kind is so important and just being honest and transparent about what you're learning, what you're going through. This, not only are you, are you being true to who you are, you're also. This will numb. This will help avoid copying anybody else because you're literally sharing your context. The principles of biomechanics, the principles of business and marketing, they don't change. What makes it different is the compelling case of you. It. What makes it different is. And what makes it more compelling is the uniqueness of you and you layering in your context, your cues, how you show up, the process you name and carry people through. And you're allowed to change your mind. I literally was just watching a video today, I swear, of my mentor and the 10 tool tips that he uses in 2012. And I was laughing because it's just those are like, those nine out of ten of those tools don't even exist anymore. And it comes down to trying to be right, for always trying to be right, then chances are we are missing the mark of helping the people who need our help now. And so for me, how to be polarizing and kind is, number one, get rooted in your truth and in the truth that you are operating from now and, and give yourself the space and permission to know that you're allowed to grow and change your mind and then just communicate it. Ultimately, it comes down to communicate communication. And then number two, draw a line in the sand and be okay with the fallout. So it comes down to, you know, getting rooted in your intention, your impact, and knowing that there are going to be consequences or, or outcomes, rather, consequences can be a harsh word, but they're going to be outcomes to the, to what you believe in, to what you stand for and be okay with. Be okay with those outcomes. Outcomes. And the more okay you are with it, the better. And it doesn't mean you're a bad wrong person, by the way. And then number three, just keep sharing it over and over and over and over again. And don't worry about being right and you don't need to make other people wrong. Just keep showing up for the people who need to hear your message. It's a short episode today, so those are the three main ways that you can be polarizing and kind at the same time. If this episode was helpful for you, be a huge favor to me if you give us a five star review and share with us your biggest takeaway in a review on Apple Screenshot this episode and tag me. And if you haven't joined us inside Simple Selling yet, now's the time. I'll catch you on the next episode.

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