How To Manage Trolls

You're listening to the PT Profit podcast, episode number 70. Today we're talking all about how to manage trolls. Are you ready? Let's get started.

Hi, I'm Beverly Simpson, former fitness manager turned online personal training business owner. And this podcast is where smart fitness professionals, including trainers and clinicians, discover how.

To increase client performance in movement, package.

And position their products and services, and.

Get out of their own way so that they can increase their revenue to live a life that they love without sleazy sales. Welcome to the PT Profit Podcast.

What's up, coach? Thank you so much for pushing play on another episode of the PT Profit Podcast. I'm your host, Beverly Simpson, and today it's just you and me hanging out, and we're talking all about this nuanced and crucial conversation about managing troll behavior. The reason why I call this a nuanced conversation is because it's a little subjective in terms of what is troll behavior, how do we determine what specifically is troll behavior? And so many people have different perspectives on this. And so I'm going to share with you today how I navigate this conversation, what I teach my clients and what I teach my members in the PT Profit formula. Because this is one of the things that I love about diversity, which is that I'm not looking for confirmation bias. I don't want to hang out with people that all look and think like me and act and behave like me. I want to have a diverse community with different opinions where we can respect and love each other. And I think, especially right now with this continued sense of group takedown and cancel culture, that we're losing a little bit of this aspect of diversity and the true definition of diversity. And I know that that is what I want to cultivate inside of my community, which actually you're going to hear a little bit more about on Thursday's episode, which I'm super excited to get to. This is part of the reason why I teach polarizing content, because it's not polarizing to be right. It's not polarizing for the sake of your ego. It's polarizing to make a stand for something. And just by the nature of making a stand and making a case for what you believe in, it will naturally be polarizing because the opposite already exists. So this means that there are going to be people that disagree with you. And that is a good thing, because if you speak to everyone, you speak to no one. However, that still means that we are responsible for the impact of our language, the impact of our actions. For example, if I cause Harm, I'm responsible for the consequences of that action. And so I encourage my clients and also my. And also you. I'm going to encourage you to make sure that you're checking in with your intention and that you are okay with the impact, because you can't control how someone else is going to respond. You can only check in with your intention and only check in with you and your behavior. And so I'm so passionate about helping really smart, educated coaches realize the impact they make on other coaches, on other people, that I'm willing to put it all out there. So much so that if a Beachbody coach came to me and said, I can't believe you're such a jerk and you are not promoting my Shakeology, I'd be like, that's okay, I can live with that. I can live with that. Because creating polarizing content, it's not about being right. If you're creating content to be right, then what we're really doing is writing from the ego. And it's not about being right. It's about ending suffering. And so at the end of the day, you have to get really clear and really honest with yourself about, A, your intentions, B, the impact that you want to make. And then C, let's have a conversation about the impact and what happened and then determine what is troll behavior for you. Because to me, when I see a troll and what I define troll behavior is when someone personally attacks me and intentionally tries to hurt me based on information that they disagree with, based on content that they disagree with, that is troll behavior to me. And, and when someone does that, I'm not going to engage. Now, when someone disagrees with me, that's not necessarily troll behavior, but people will disagree with me and they will disagree with you, and that's a good thing. And so it really depends on how the conversation is initiated as to whether or not I'm going to engage. So, for example, if something that I intended to happen doesn't, typically people will have these disagreement conversations with me in private, in the dm or if it's public and I see the comment and I can sense that it's a conversation that requires a private conversation, I will have it. But make no mistake, that is not. Disagreeing with someone and wanting to have a conversation with you or with that person isn't troll behavior. Troll behavior is when people come at you personally, attack you, physically attack you, try and take you down, go after your nature because of something you said. And friends, that doesn't happen often. And if it does, I Just ignore it. I block move on when I'm personally attacked, and that's what I would encourage you to do. But if we really want to get serious and we really want to think about it, because troll behavior, when someone's really hateful and really coming at you, it doesn't happen unless you are calling that in, right? Like attracts like. You can be polarizing and be kind. So if you're sitting here listening to this podcast right now and thinking, no, Beverly, that's not true. Troll behavior happens all the time, and I'm always trolled, then from a loving place, I would encourage you to just take a look on the inside. Meaning if all you're seeing is troll behavior, what are you putting out there? Now, before you get it that twisted, let me just clarify. That doesn't mean that you are deserving it or that troll behavior means that you're bringing. Again, this is not a shame spiral. This is not saying you're causing it. That is not what I'm saying. I'm just encouraging you. If all you're seeing is troll and hateful and people are personally attacking you, just take a close look at your content and ask yourself, am I being polarizing and being kind? Because like does attract like. But the truth. And I say that, and I give that disclaimer, because the truth of what I feel people really are afraid of is people disagreeing with you. It's not the troll behavior. It's people disagreeing with you, and more specifically, your colleagues disagreeing with you. And that's scary. But here's just a couple of things that I want you to know and understand when you're dealing with this, is that you're going to be judged 100% of the time, literally 100% of the time, by your colleagues, by your. By your clients. 100% of the time you're being judged, whether they love you or they disagree with you or they want to troll you. So the real question to ask yourself is, if you know you're going to be judged 100% of the time, isn't it more important to do what you love rather than to hide and worry about what your colleagues are going to think of you when you can't control it anyway? And this goes back to what I was saying earlier and why I think it's just so important, is because. And I'm always checking in with my intention and with my impact friends, I'm not going to lie to you. I have had the best of intentions and my impact was terrible. Sometimes I cringe at some of the things that I have said and done, but I was doing the best that I could with what I had at the time. And if you're listening to this podcast, chances are the same is true for you. But I was just speaking to a client about it this morning. You're not going to know until you try, until you test it out. Nobody learns how to swim without getting wet. You have to get in the pool. And this is a little bit of what I meant in terms of looking inward, looking at in your content. What I'm really saying is check in with your intention. Are you putting content out to purposely hurt people? I don't think that that's true. That if you're listening to this podcast that you do that. I'm not saying that, but there are people out there that do. That's troll behavior. Troll behavior is going to attract troll behavior. But disagreeing with you isn't necessarily troll behavior, which is what I think people are really scared of. And that's okay. I can disagree with you and still love you and still support you. And something to acknowledge, too, is that you can't please everyone. You're not trying to get everyone to get on board with your message. And that's a good thing, because it's not about being right. It's about making a difference in other people's lives. So I've blabbed on about now for a little while about the difference between the nuances between intention and impact. And I think the biggest takeaway here for you in this first half of the conversation is to just always check in with your intention. That's going to be the number one thing that I'm going to tell you when it comes to managing troll, or number one thing I'll say to managing troll behavior, number one, is to just identify what troll behavior actually is to you. Because disagreeing with you doesn't necessarily mean that it's troll behavior. But you have to identify what troll behavior is to you. For me, troll, but for me, troll behavior is when someone is purposely trying to hurt me, discredit me, take me down on a personal level, personal, professional level, physical level. Hate. Purposely hateful in a way that is not constructive criticism or for something for me to ponder in any way, that is a troll behavior that I'm going to block. Another that is now that is specifically troll behavior. That is hateful. The intention behind it is hateful, and I'm going to block that. The second thing I'll tell you, when it comes to managing troll behavior, Is number one looking inward or number two looking inward and checking in with your intention and all that to mean all.

That to say that what is the.

Intention behind what you're putting out there? Are you putting out content that is intended to be hateful, that's trying to be right? Because like attracts like. And in that same vein of checking in with your intention is recognizing and being okay with being responsible for your impact. I stand by what I put out every day. And if I change my mind, I'll stand by that. Now, the third thing in which I've kind of talked about, but let's talk about how we specifically manage disagreement, because it's not necessarily the hate that we're afraid of. We're afraid of someone disagreeing with us. And so here's what I'm checking in with when I am looking at people who disagree with me, because you can have, like I've said, a conversation with someone when they are, when they disagree, disagree with you and want to have a conversation about it. So now the first thing I'm going to be looking for in these disagreement conversations, I'm going to be looking for how emotionally heated is this conversation? Because that's the other thing that's really important. When we are having a conversation or a discussion about opinions and thoughts, we have to stick to facts in terms of what you know, what are the facts, what is actually happening and true, and then talk about the thought around the facts, but not from an, an emotional state. If someone is too emotionally attached to the way that they think the outcome of what happened, that sometimes will not warrant a conversation that is clear. It sometimes when it's something is very emotionally charged, it runs the risk of personally attacking troll behavior. So that's the first thing I want to do is I want to look and assess and go with my intuition on how emotionally charged is this disagreement. And I'll give it some time to cool off to have the conversation before we go in. The second thing I want to do is check in with how is this conversation being held? Is someone personally reaching out to me in dm? Are they wanting to have a private conversation to talk about the impact, how is this situation being managed? And if they're just trying to publicly embarrass me or humiliate me or call me out, then it's running the risk of droll behavior, of purposely trying to attack. And that will not be, I will not engage in that. And I would and I encourage my clients and my, my members to not engage in that because in this Work friends. When. If you're trying to build a business, you're going to have people that disagree with you. It's a good thing. If you, if you don't want to rock the boat and if you don't want to make a case for, for, for what you stand for and for what you believe in, then you're running the risk of two things. Number one, you're running the risk of being speaking into an echo chamber of noise and not cutting through to stand out in the marketplace. The second risk that you run is that you, when you speak so generally and not specific, you run the risk of leaving your client on the table, meaning your client doesn't recognize or realize that you're for them because you're not speaking to their problems, they don't see you as a solution. And the last way to manage the trolls is to get support, get in a community, go lean on your coach. Because it's not always easy. You're putting your heart out on the table, and it's not always easy to have someone disagree with you, come at you. It's not easy. So when you're surrounded by, it takes courage. And the fact that you're here building a business and putting yourself out there, it is courageous. This is why I stand for diversity and why I can love and support you even if we disagree. And it's because what you're doing is courageous. And if you're here listening to this podcast, I know you're here to end suffering for your client in a way that is, that is evidence based, that is science based, which is rare, and the world needs you. I know it sounds so dramatic, but it's true. There are people right now that need your voice. One of the things that we talked about on Thursday, and I don't want to give too much away, but we talked about how when someone is heard, when someone is seen, that they feel loved. And so by you making a case for them, by you standing for them and not being general, they get to be seen, they get to be heard, and therefore loved. So your work is so important and it is courageous what you are doing. So for me, when I get afraid, and then the last thing I'll say when I'm afraid, you know, that's why having a support system is really important. And the last thing I'll say when I feel afraid or worried about judgment and managing trolls is I wake up every morning and I ask myself, who can I serve? Who needs to hear from me today? And operating from that place, you will stand out, you will create polarizing pieces and you will be able to handle what comes all right, friends, it feels a little heavy, but growing requires uncomfortability and having uncomfortable conversations. And if you're anything like what my clients are going through right now, then you're you might be feeling it. This might be hard, this might be a hard time and it might be scary to make a case. But your clients need you. So I'm here for you. This community is safe for you. So get out there today. Who can you serve? Thanks so much for pressing play and I will catch you on the next episode.

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