How To Sell Without Selling

If you've been posting every single day and you haven't gotten one client or one sale in the last 90 days, then I'm willing to bet we need to take a closer look at our relationship with selling. Are you ready? Let's get started.

Hi, I'm Beverly Simpson, former fitness manager turned online personal training business owner. And this podcast is where smart fitness professionals, including trainers and clinicians, discover how to increase client performance in movement, package and position their products and services, and get out of their own way so that they can increase their revenue to live a life that they love without sleazy sales. Welcome to the PT Profit Podcast.

What's up coach? Thank you so much for pushing play on another episode of the PT Profit Podcast. I'm your host, Beverly Simpson, and today you're listening to episode number 88 and we're going to be talking all about how to sell without selling. So like you heard in the beginning of this episode, if you have been posting every single day with some of the most heartfelt content that you are pouring hours into, but nobody is paying attention to it, no one is liking it, no one is commenting on it, no one is sharing it, and worse, you haven't generated a single sale, a single client from your social media efforts in the last 90 days, then I am willing to bet that we need to take a closer look at our relationship with sales selling. Because here is what I often see happen with so many really smart successful coaches is that oftentimes, especially if they've been around the block for a while or they've been doing this for quite some time, what I see happen are coaches who are only selling within a four to seven day or even ten day window. And then what I often see happen is that they will apologetically sell. So they will give their best information, their best workout, their best how to writing out meal plans for people and apologetically selling. Or they're posting once and they're mentioning, oh hey, I'm taking clients one time in 30 days. Or they just put a buy button on their website and just hope that people are going to come and fill out an application and then become a client. But then what happens is that people will start to feel stressed or panic that if they don't launch every day. And by the way, if you're curious to what a launch is, all a launch is is a presentation of an offer with the deadline. So they start to feel like if I don't launch every single day, I'm not going to make any money. And the pressure to Pay their bills, just builds inside of them. Or they start to feel like if I don't make $100,000 in this one launch, then I'm not going to be able to pay my bills. Or worse, people will start to feel like maybe I need to go get a job, maybe I need to go get back into the gym. And this really intense, this energy of trying to get it right, trying to get it perfect, gets in the way of unlocking ultimate success for you inside of your business. So in today's podcast, I'm about to break down how to master the art and science of non selling so that you can get that freedom that you want, so that you can be using the content that you are pouring your heart into every single day on your social media platforms, whether it's podcast or YouTube or Instagram or Facebook, to start generating revenue today, within even the next seven days. Because the truth of the matter is, if we don't master this art of selling and we don't start to shift our perspective and the way that we feel about selling in general, then we're running the risk of potentially having to go back and get a job. Or we have to run the risk of deciding which bill to pay, which not bill to pay. And then we start to just live in this desperate energy of feeling like we are begging, hustling. And if you're anything like me, feeling like you just have to work harder. So one of the first things that I really want us to take a look at is what our relationship is to selling. Because most of the time when I bring this up or I even start to talk about selling, here's what often happens. People will have a visceral reaction. I don't want to be sleazy. Or I feel like I'm bugging people when I'm talking about my offers. Or they start to feel like, oh my gosh, I'm annoying people, I'm aggravating people every time I talk about what it is that I do. And I get it. I mean, it's not your fault. Let's just think about this for a second. There is a reason that we start to feel like this. Because when we are having an experience around selling or a presentation of an offer, oftentimes people will fall into one of four categories. So let's just go ahead and break that down. Okay? Number one, and this is the one. This is oftentimes the person that you know gets. Gets the sleazy car salesman gets looped into this person because we've all had this experience where we go into the room, the space, and we just leave the experience feeling really awful. And maybe we can't even. And your clients can't even really describe specifically what has happened to make them feel feel awful, but we've just left the experience feeling like, ugh, this is just awful. I hate this. Right? Or we've all been on that webinar where it's just been filled with 45 minutes of about me fluff content. And then there's this, like, weird, awkward transition of buy my stuff. And then you get put on the defense because they say something like, I wonder why it's so important. I wonder why your Starbucks lattes are more important than your business. Don't you have a family to feed? I mean, one of my clients screenshotted me one of the things that someone had said to them, and I literally laughed out loud. I could see in the messaging what that person was trying to do. And we're going to talk about some of the things and ways that we can buffer that. But there is a reason why people feel that way about selling. So you've got that aggressive seller. We'll call that person the aggressive seller. Or maybe you fall into the category of apologetic seller. So apologetic selling, this is when someone is feeling guilty, bad, don't want to be pulled, pushy, and so they're not really presenting their offer. Okay, so let me give you a metaphor that is sort of related, but not related. So I know it's funny because my sister and I were on the phone this weekend and we were talking about it, but have you ever had that experience where you are making plans to go out with your friends? Or maybe you're having that experience where you're making plans to go out with your neighbors or whatever the case may be? And you get. You know that you're. You know that you are gonna go out on this event with this certain friend, and maybe you forget, or forget's not a strong word. But maybe you didn't consider because you haven't been seeing another friend, you hadn't been seeing him. It's kind of been out of mind, out of sight, out of mind. And it doesn't mean you don't love that friend. Or maybe this has happened to you, and it doesn't mean that your friend doesn't love you. It just wasn't at the forefront of their mind. Because remember, our brains and the way that we process information, 95% of what we do is on automation. So sometimes we're not necessarily top of Mind. Or for example, let's say someone, this happens to me all the time. But let's say someone texts you at 2am in the morning and you wake up and you see the text and you don't respond right away because it's so early in the morning. And then you're like, all right, I'll get back to it. And then you're all of a sudden your day goes by and you didn't see the text and you didn't respond to the text and you think, oh yeah, I'm gonna do that. Or maybe you've had that experience where you sat on someone's training or webinar and you've had the best of intentions to go ahead and purchase it. But then you look to your right and your daughter is filling the toilet with toilet paper and wondering why it's not flushing, right? And so then you get distracted. Or maybe the pasta is boiling and you have to go turn off the, the stove and then you get distracted or you, you, it's just not on the top of your mind and so you don't follow through with your action. So what happens to people who that are in that apologetic selling the same thing or similar things will often happen. Maybe you're not on top of mind, but it doesn't mean that they're not going to consider it. There have been studies out there that have shown that people need eight touch points before making a decision. And there's also been studies that people have made a decision before they actually consciously make the decision, but they need those reminders, they need those touch points to take the action. And so what happens if you're in that apologetic selling category? You're running the risk or I would even be saying that chances are you're leaving money on the table. I'm willing to bet that you are leaving people behind, your people behind. And then the third category is the teacher. This is the person now, this was me. So you're not alone. And this still tends to be me. If this is my tendency, this is what I tend to go to. But then you've got the teacher seller. Now how many times have you heard from the well meaning gurus you need to just add value. You need to just keep giving your best work out there for free because information is abundant and all of those types of statements. So then what happens is that people will give their best work away 100 action steps and then what happens is they pour their best workout in, they crush their person or they give them a pretty much almost give Them a meal, math. And one of two things happen. Either a person completely ghosts them because they're just so overwhelmed that the, that with what. That they, with what they need to do and how to do it, that they feel like they can't even get started or they're, they feel hopeless, like it's never gonna happen for them. And then they see, then you never hear from them again. Or you get the people that are like, thank you so much, so much. That was so awesome. I love that. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna do what you said and then I will, I'll come back to you. I'll let you know how it goes. Is it okay if I DM you and pick your brain and let you know what my progress is? And this is oftentimes when people, you know, a lot of like the edutainment will come in here, people will be like, you know, you'll be so captivating and people will love your presentations, but you're not getting any conversions, you're not getting any sales. So then we've got the fourth category. The fourth chaotic category is the person who's mastered the art and science of non selling. Have you ever looked out into this space and you've just been so excited to. To purchase someone's program or you've been so excited for the doors to open or, or you have just been so excited about going on vacation or you just been like, you cannot wait for the new iPhone to come out or you've looked down into the space and you just seem like, wow, this person had their cart open for or enrollment open for four days and they made 10 million. What's it going to take for me to do that? This person posts three posts on their Instagram and makes $10,000 in. In one on one clients. And have you ever left asking yourself, what is it that they're doing that I'm missing? Why does it feel like success is reserved for the. And maybe you're even left feeling like it's not possible for me or it's going to take a lot of time. So listen, my experience, and I just don't think I've actually ever shared this or said this before, but my first experience really with selling was actually Mary Kay. So back when I was in college, like my undergrad college, I mean we're talking friends, like 20 years ago, I dabbled my hand in, you know, Mary, Mary Kay makeup cosmetics. And now if any of you are out there laughing, and you might be laughing because you're like, wait, you do even wear makeup? I do when I'm filming. Or you're like, wait, don't you? You. My sister, when we were in Florida, she laughed because she watched me put body lotion on my face. So you're like, wait, you did. But anyways, so I. And this back in the day. Oh, my gosh, I feel like I sound so old. But this was back in the day where we did. Where Facebook MLM marketing had not come into play yet. People weren't even on Facebook yet. Like, you were literally going into Target and meeting people and being like, hey, do you want to do a Mary Kay party? I'd love to do that for you. And then inviting people into here. I'm laughing because I just cannot believe I did that. But I'd be like, inviting people into my house that I didn't know. And it was just really cringey. But the other part that was really cringey was that I started to feel like I was, you know, it was either doing that or feeling like I had to sell to my friends all the time. And that was weird. It put. It changed the dynamic. Felt like it was changing the dynamic of selling with your friends or selling to your friend, you know? But then fast forward 13 years and I got into the gym and I started to realize and start to really take a look at the relationship with selling. I had made all those stories about being sleazy and feeling like I was pulling the wool over my friend's eyes, but I'm just feeling like I was feeling, you know, had this weird relationship with my friends. Like, oh, my gosh, I'm. I'm cheating them. I'm not selling to them. I'm selling to them. And it was just really cringey. But then when I got into the gym and I started to really look at my relationship with selling, I realized the truth of the matter is that we're selling all the. The time. Think about it. Every time you ask your friend for a referral, like, you get stuck. Maybe you're. You. You. You notice that your friend has glowing skin, so you ask them what their. Their. Their face wash regimen is, or you're like, oh, man, I'm noticing my friend is crushing it with their Facebook ads. Who are they using? We're always looking for the fastest, easiest way to get the answer. Get the transformation of the solution that we're looking for. So could you imagine, just for a second, I want you to just imagine the last book you read that really transformed your life or maybe A course you took or a program that you're in, or a podcast that you listen to? Could you imagine if that person woke up that morning and said, I don't want to be sleazy, so I'm just not going to write that book. I don't want to sell. I'm just not going to write that book. Or maybe that person didn't do any work to get that book out in front of you and you just never got to see it. You didn't even know that it existed. That would be a bummer, right? And could you imagine if we were still using those, those suitcase cell phones instead of our cell phones that we have today, which are pretty much little mini computers that we could carry around everywhere and anywhere with us, for better, for worse. But could you imagine if those people stayed in the apologetic selling category, or they stayed in the I'll just put a buy button on my website and hope someone finds me category? No, of course not. So the biggest takeaway that we want to remember when we are dealing with our relationship with selling is to remember that selling is a service. Every single thing that you have purchased that you are sitting on, that you are using in your business, in your life, for your children, to be with your friends, that was a transaction that had an investment of revenue, that had an investment of either time or money. And so if we really don't take a look our relationship with selling, then where are you going to be a year from now if we can't look at increasing? Because where are we going to be a year from now inside of your business, if we're still feeling uncomfortable about selling? So the number one thing that we want to do is really shift our perspective and look at the relationship that you have to selling. So it's important to remember that selling is a service. So let's just get into the first steps of how to sell without selling and really mastering that art and science of selling. Because if we don't do that, we're going to run the risk of continuing to not put our offers out there, leaving our clients on the table who really need our transformations, go back to getting a job that we don't want and waste all of our time inside of our business doing activities that are actually not moving the dial forward. And that will keep you currently where you're at, either struggling or not growing. So the first thing that we want to do is really just identify where you are in terms of the four types of sellers or selling relationships that we went over in this podcast on a scale of 1 to 10, would you say that you have mastered the art and science of non selling? Meaning you put a post on the Instagram, you don't even think about it, you do a couple of stories and then all of a sudden your schedule is flooded with one on one discovery calls or your, your people are purchasing your 28 day transformation. Okay, that's number one. The second or, or that's, that's, that's 10. Or you on the side of the spectrum where you're a one and you like literally no one even knows that you personal trainer or that you're a fitness professional and that you even have any, any anything to offer. So first just identify where you're at and then we can go from there. And then the next thing that we want to do, once we know where we are with our relationship with selling, we can start moving the dial towards getting into that mastering the art of science of non selling. And when you can do that, your content is going to do all of the work for you. So I'm gonna go ahead and give you two of my biggest tips that I tell people to ensure that they stay out of that pushy, that discourage that uncomfortable category of the aggressive seller. And the first tip is to practice active listening. It's the number one skill that most people miss. Most people think that they are practicing listening when in reality they're just thinking about what they're going to say next. Especially when we have done hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of, of discovery calls. I did a podcast episode on Beginner's luck explained right. There is a paradox, there is a double edged sword to experience because on the one hand we're going to get better with our skill set. But on the other hand our brain is literally designed to automate and to take the path of least resistance. And so where people start to assume, assume that they already know what the person is going through with the other, what the person is saying. So what happens is they've perhaps they've memorized this script and they don't listen. So active listening is going to be a key component to connecting to your person. The second thing that you really want to master is empathy. When you can empathize with someone that has told you something that is going to help them feel loved. Because when a person feels seen or heard, they will also feel loved. So when you can empathize and demonstrate that you one, have heard what they've said, but two also really understand and can empathize where they're coming from, that will automatically take you out of the aggressive selling category because even if someone doesn't connect with you or they don't resonate with you, they're not gonna feel like you're attacking them because you're not telling them how they feel or what they think. You are listening and you are empathizing, but you still might not necessarily resonate with everyone. And that is a good thing. We don't want to train or work with everyone. We want to work smarter and more efficient and have more time to do the things that you love like get more certifications, hang out with your family and work with the few people who know that you're for them. That is when you will make more money because you've mastered the art and science of non selling but work more efficiently okay, so thanks so much for hanging out with me today inside of this podcast. Listen, it would be a huge favor to me if you liked it, to go ahead and leave us a review, share this with your friends so that we can help more people. So that would be a huge favor to me. And also if you really like this episode and you want to dive deeper into how you master the art and science of non selling with your content and generate revenue on your social media platforms without feeling sleazy, then I want you to join me inside of a training that I put together for you called Simple Selling. 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