Shifting Your Identity with Adam Kiddoo

You're listening to the PT Profit podcast, episode number 108. Today I'm sitting down with Adam to do and we're talking all about how to shift your identity. Are you ready? Let's get started. Hi, I'm Beverly Simpson, former fitness manager turned online personal training business owner. And this podcast is where smart fitness professionals, including trainers and clinicians, discover how to increase client performance in movement, package and position their products and services and get out of their own way so that they can increase their revenue to live a life that they love without sleazy sales. Welcome to the PT Profit Podcast. What's up, coach? Thank you so much for pushing play on another episode of the PT Profit Podcast. I'm your host, Beverly Simpson, and today I'm sitting down with one of my friends and former coaches, Adam Kadu. I was first introduced to his work through a mutual mentor of ours. I was in Jim Porton's program and he was a coach there when I was in the program. And so it is a pleasure and a privilege to have him on the show today. He was responsible for helping me really shift my perspective in the way that I think about things in many ways and also help me see things just from a different lens. And today we really got to talk about developing our sense, what our identity is and how it actually is impacting us. We also talked a lot about how to tap into your heart and become that heart centered, driven entrepreneur and be able to really tap into your heart energy and really tap into service which is ultimately going to help you with your sales process. And we dive deep into, into this inside of this episode. Adam powerfully shares a little bit about his story inside of this episode. So I don't want to spoil it for you. So without further ado, let's go ahead and roll that interview. What's up, Adam? Thanks so much for joining me on the show today.

How are you doing?

Great.

I'm doing great. It's honored to be here.

Honestly, I'm super excited to dive into this conversation. I can't believe how long we've known each other and I'm sure that we're going to get into it, but it's just, it's really come full circle and I'm really excited. So thank you so much for being here.

Me too, for sure.

So let's just go ahead, dive in. Would you mind sharing with the audience a little bit about who you are, who you serve and how you got there?

Yeah, absolutely. So I would, I like to say I'm a wildly Passionate entrepreneur. I've always had a big heart, just always wanted to help people. I mean there was even times in high school I can remember, you know, kids that had mental challenges, you know, being picked on and things like that. I'm always the guy that's just like, you know, put it into that stuff. My, my friends were always ornery, they're trying to get in fights, they're fighting with each other and all this stuff. And I'm always the peacemaker. I just want people to live their best lives and to be happy and you know, just take care of themselves and love themselves and love the world. And I've really kind of like taken on this for myself. And I help entrepreneurs primarily with what was the biggest challenge for me early on. And that's mastering the art of sales. Not just sales, because we could all, you know, take some courses on NLP training and you know, being able to use push tactics and guilt and shame and all that stuff to get sales. But that's not in alignment with my energy and my heart and you know, and being, you know, I'm very sensitive to energy. If I'm doing anything that's outside of my scope, that doesn't feel good for me, I just, I'm just not going to do it. And so I help other people, huge hearted people to get out of their own way, to get out of their head, get into their hearts and lead with love. That's essentially what I do in the standpoint. And I've been through so much over the last, I'd say five, six years of running a business. I started my own business in 2012 and there's been this consistent growth of letting go of who I thought I needed to be and what I thought the world needed for me and what I wanted to look like and all that. And I just let go and I start trusting myself more and more and more. And that's when sales close, that's when business grows, that's when things are fun and expansive. But I was getting it mixed up the other way around for the longest time. And so that's what I help other entrepreneurs and business people as well is to start leading with their heart and sell from a more heart aligned approach.

I love that. Okay, so there's so many different things, so many different ways that we can go. So I'll just start with one of the things that you said in terms of, you know, you, you were talking about who I need to be and you were talking about, you know, really get understanding yourself and self love and talking about how that was really important in your journey. And I feel like for a lot of people who are more, you know, very. We talked about energy on this podcast, too, but very, you know, dominant in their male energy in terms of driven and in terms of systems and processes and reverse engine, it can be really hard to tap into that. So can you talk a little bit about why and how you found that to be a important and then be a little bit of your process and how you really carry someone through tapping into it Maybe when they're really, you know, what's the word? But when they're really removed from it.

Yeah. Or disconnected. Or disconnected. Yeah. So I love that in such a great question, especially for those who love science and, you know, studying the body and things like that. It's such. It's such a gift to be able to, you know, use the left side of your brain to analyze information, break things down. I have this theory, this is a fun theory that I like to share is, you know, on the Myers Briggs personality type Test, you're either a thinker or you're a feeler. I have this theory that at the root of all of us, we are all feelers. We've either been trained or we've had certain instances in our childhood to where we turned on our thinking mind. We're like, I need to be safe. I need to think. I need to use my brain. I need to use my smarts. And also, society plays a lot, puts a lot of emphasis on the smarts, which not. Not necessarily a bad thing. Right. But what happens is we kind of get stuck up in this to where we need a playbook. We need the steps, we need the process. We need to know, you know, exactly what to do. And without that, we're kind of lost. And so in business early on, I was tapping into a lot of my left brain and my pushing this and my masculine energy, like you said. I love that you brought that up. And I realized that that's not my strength. My strength is my senses, my higher senses, feeling into things and really kind of like visualizing and playing things out and see how it feels when I'm visualizing it. And so when I started playing on this side a little bit and tapping into more of a balance of the masculine energy versus the feminine energy, you know, because I've obviously got to be able to plan, I've got to be able to organize. I've got to be able to take information and dissect it and put it together, but I also need to Be able to come alive energetically, to connect deeper with people. Otherwise, I'm just telling the same things that everybody else is telling. And I'm kind of fitting in and falling into the trap that most people fall into in business and entrepreneurship and in life. And that's just being a repeater, repeating the same old stuff. And people have heard it and all that stuff. It's nothing new and different. And when I start to trust myself, things open up more and more. So for me, it was yet again, just a huge component of letting go in order to start to trust myself. Because it's like I would get these, like, just feelings, I need to do this, but they were scary, so I didn't want to do. My logical brain kicks in. It's like, no, we're not going to do that. We're going to do this. Business wasn't working. Life wasn't working. The relationship with my wife wasn't working. I mean, a lot of frustration. My health, my health was bad. 40 pounds overweight, a lot of this stuff. And because I was putting so much emphasis on thinking, thinking, thinking, I need to figure this out, figure this out, figure this out. And even life, I wanted to figure life out. And I came to this realization. It's like, what if there's really nothing to figure out? What if it's more about the experience? And yes, yes, using your brain, but also trusting yourself and your intuition and your heart to lead you in the right direction. And when it feels good, there's something about that, right? And if it feels bad, just as long as it's not that, it's. It feels bad because there's fear there, right? We must move through the fear in order to grow. If it feels bad, if it feels out of alignment, if it feels icky and slimy and sleazy, whatever it is, it's probably not for you. It's probably not the path. So that's, that's where I work from more times than not. So if that answers your questions.

Yeah, it does, for sure. So I, you know, and I do want to. I do want to talk, and I will get there, but I am, I am curious, you know, can you share, if you don't mind, would you share a little bit of, like, how you were feeling? Like, what was coming up? Like, what were some of the things that were coming up for you before you made this shift? Like, you mentioned that you were 40 pounds overweight and business wasn't working. Like, is it one of those situations where you were like, I'm doing all the right things and it's just not working.

Yeah, I mean, contrast builds a lot of clarity for sure. So I mean, there's a lot of mistakes that just, just weren't going to work out. But it really was. The way my brain was working is I would, I felt like I needed to have the complete plan and then I'll go, right? I need to see steps one through 100 and then I'll go. But even if you did have the perfect plan, you take a couple steps in, you get feedback, it's going to, you're going to be able to course correct and shift. So the plan is probably going to fly out the window anyways. And so I was wanting that certainty and that comfort and knowing that I'm not going to waste time, this is going to work. I'm not going to look like a fool, I'm not going to make a fool of myself. And my brain would not allow me to get past a certain number of steps before it would come back and be like, that's not going to work. So there was a lot of inaction, there was a lot of thinking, there was a lot of trying to figure it out. And then I just got to a standpoint where I don't know what it was. I think there was a book I read that was talking more about just like, you know, higher levels of energies and even, you know, as woo woo as it sounds just like angels. And you know, there's a lot of people that can experience and even see things sometimes. And I kind of remember as a kid growing up that I just was like, I felt misplaced and I felt weird and you know, I felt like there was something wrong with me because I could sense energy. And there was even times the energy would hit me real hard and I'm like, what in the world? Like, what is this? What's going on? And I also have memories about just kind of like getting these moments or these intuition hits or these daydreams that felt so real that I knew there was something there. But I just, as a kid, I couldn't quite figure it out. So then I just started, you know, at this point, I'd been meditating more and more and more to slow my monkey mind down because it was highly overactive, which was burning me out. I literally had to take naps each and every day because I would overthink and overthink and overthink. I'd burn myself out. So come lunchtime or two o', clock, I'm like wrecked, I'm done. For the day, anyways. And I started kind of getting these senses, these feelings, and even vision. Sometimes. Like, for instance, I would have this, like, vision of a book, and I'm like, you know, okay, I better go look at that book. And I would open the book up to a page, and there'd be something on that page, whether it be an old Tony Robbins book or whatever, that gave me a process to help walk through something that was tripping me up. And that's happened more times than not. I even have went to a bookstore before, and I was like, I want to start trusting my intuition more. I'm going to use my intuition to find a book. And I went and I literally just navigating. I wasn't looking at the books, and I just pointed at a book. The book was called Intuition. I mean, you can't make. Yeah, you can't. You can't make this stuff up. And yes, that could possibly be a coincidence. Right? But I'm. I'm saying there's not a lot of coincidences in this world, or else we'd be, you know, there's not a lot of randomness in this world. Or else, you know, leprechauns with pots of gold will be just showing up randomly here and there. It's just, like, conspiring for you, but you must be aware to see what's. What's there for you. And I know this is a wild, weird, expansive conversation, but that's what's helped me tremendously. I went from being, you know, over $20,000 in debt to trying so hard to make my business work a certain way using certain processes, and it was not working. And then I let go of the wheel, and I started trusting myself more and more and more. And opportunities started showing up to where I got invited to be a coach for somebody, and then I got invited to be a coach for somebody else. I did not want to be a coach for entrepreneurs. That wasn't my thing. I wanted my laptop, lifestyle, and my passive income. And I wanted to create some courses and not have to talk to people, which would have made me miserable. Right. So that was my thinking. Mind thinking that that's how people build businesses, the passive income. But the world opened up to me to where literally the steps were all aligning for me. I just needed to let go and trust them. And now I love where I'm at in business. The relationship with my wife is phenomenal. We got a baby boy and another one on the way here in a few months.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Just loving it. So, and that's, that's because I opened up and I let go.

So you know, I love that. Right. You know, I'll share too. For me, I think too it always comes back to intention. And when I'm working with people, I'm always checking in with the intention. For me, when I hear someone say I just want a passive product, to your point, I really want to ask, well, what's causing you to say that? For me, every time I check in with I want a passive program, it probably means, oh, I'm too burnt out and I've got too much on my plate. So I'm looking for a way to get my time back because that's not really what fuels me. What really fuels me is kind connecting with my people. So I need to know what the root cause is of what it is that's causing you to say that. Right. And so some people, to your point, they'll be like, I just want a buy button on my website because they're afraid of having the conversation with someone to get them to take the next step and say yes to themselves.

Yes.

Right?

100. 100%. Yeah.

And so I definitely want to talk about that in terms of how you've been able to make that shift. But before then, I'm just curious, you know, when you're working with your people, what's the process that you carry them through to help them go from like someone like me who is super left. Now Adam has worked with me for a long time. I have had the pleasure of working with Adam. He literally got to see me probably at my ground zero of like my life is over. Right. So Adam has seen me go through this journey. So I'm curious and has worked with me personally. So I'm curious how you have been able to get someone like me who is super left brain. Like if I do not give me this common core math, there are no number bonds. Okay, I need two plus two is four. Right. How do you really get into someone who's so blocked and I would say their heart is almost got like a wall on it. Now for the record, I just want to clarify and that doesn't make you cold hearted or mean. It just means that you don't have access to that heart energy yet. You know, maybe you are like me and hear the like follow your sense and asking yourself what does that even mean?

Yeah, I love the, I love that you added that in, that that brings a whole new context to the conversation because that was, that was me. You know, I'd been hurt numerous times before. And it was just like, I want to open up, I want to connect deeper with people. That's all I really want is just to connect and solve problems. But I was closed off. And also at one standpoint, I was, I was living with the mask, I was portraying myself, that I got it all figured out and you know, you know, come, you know, do business with me. And on inside I'm second guessing myself and overthinking and all this stuff. And the way I was just presenting myself, I even looked at some older videos of me, I was talking real loud and I was trying to convince people and this is what you guys need to do. And all this stuff, I'm like, who is that guy? That is not me, that is an insecure me, you know, trying to say, hey, look, look at me, I know what I'm doing. Come, come by. It was all rooted in fear, it was all rooted in doubt, it was all rooted in scarcity. And when you work from a place of fear, doubt and scarcity, you're bound to get scarce results. And so to answer your question, and yet again, I love that you threw that in there because that's part of the work is to, for one to slow down, right? Because even the overthinkers sometimes, you know, we're all wired a little bit different. We're all the same, but we're all different. And so sometimes people are very sequential thinkers, right? And so they must have some sort of a plan, a process to get them going. But it takes courage, it takes faith, it takes working into the knowing to take the steps. When you don't have the complete plan, it's like, look, I get to step three. I don't know where I'm at and I know there's probably 10, 15, 20 steps on this thing. I'm just going to go. So yes, you can get in sequence, you can get in motion, but you must have this, this, this area of trust in yourself. And it looks different for a lot of people. And so when I work with people who are more rooted in their left brain and their thinking, one of the things I like to do is to help them, like I said, quiet their mind. And there's certain little things that I teach and coach on to give people a process to basically interrupt their thinking. And here's a beautiful thing is I have trained myself anytime, and I won't say anytime, I don't have this perfect. And sometimes I get my stuff too. I'm human. But a majority of the times if I have A negative thought that's going to take me somewhere in spiral and how's this going to work out? And you know, is this possible? And blah, blah, blah, blah. I feel it, I am aware of it. I know it is going to take me somewhere that is not serving me. So in that moment I can catch it, I have awareness. And it is simply at that moment because I caught it. It's simply a reminder to bring myself back to the present moment. Because we have the resources, we've done the work, we've studied and we've mapped things out, we've done the process and we've got school and all this stuff. But when we only try to work from remembering what we've taught before, that leaves no room for magic. But when you can trust that you have what you need and you can show up and you can present yourself and not work so much from the premise of fear, a fear of judgment and fear of making a mistake and fear of looking foolish and all that stuff, but trusting yourself and knowing that you're doing your life's work and what comes through you, and I'll say comes through you from a standpoint of energy, right? Because I'm sure each and every one of us, even if we're the most left brain person that can't really feel a lot because we've shut down that side, you know, we've put the wall up, like Beverly said, we still have energy coming through us. And when we can get our, our egos, our 3D minds out of the way more and more and more and just trust that whatever comes through us is what's meant to come through us, that's when inspiration comes. That's when genius comes. That's when you have some earth shattering moments to where you're able to help your clients and your students and, you know, family or whoever at a much greater scale. Because we're not just calling from the same playbook that worked at one standpoint. I mean, that's, that's how the world works. It's like what worked as a parent 20, 30, 40 years ago. We're living in a different world today. And if we're constantly pulling from our past, we're not really creating anything new.

So I love that. So I'm also, you know, do you ever work with. Since you probably track a lot of overthinkers, right, do you ever, you know, what would you say to someone who's like, maybe new to this and they're asking you, well, how can you tell if this is something that is, you know, inspired and from my intuition, or it's from my overthinking mind. Right. How do you help people really differentiate the difference between what's inspired and what's not?

Yeah, there's only one way to know, and that's to go. No, all joking aside, I mean, there's only one way to know, and that's to test and to try things out. And I haven't went deep down the rabbit hole in this, even though it keeps kind of pulling at my attention, is we all have different ways of sensing things. So there's like clairvoyant, clairaudience. Some people will actually hear messages. I don't hear things. I do. And I know for the most part, it's not intuition. But when I kind of have these flashes, I know exactly where these flashes are in my mind. I know exactly how they feel. And so I am kind of a blend of clairvoyant, which is images, and clairescence, which is feeling. And so I am big into feeling. If I see an image and it just kind of, like bland and, you know, not so exciting and doesn't really, you know, get my stomach going a little bit in a good way, then I. Then I don't really pay a lot of attention to it. But there's moments I just have these flashes towards. Literally, it's a flash I'm doing something else, and I'm like, okay, I know enough to know enough to follow that. And the times that I do get into stress and, you know, and possibly overthinking and things, it's when I'm not open to these nudges. It's like I'm trying to control, I'm trying to create, I'm trying to do it all myself. But when I can let go and start following these nudges, as weird as it sounds, sometimes there's even times where it's just like I have this urge, this constant flash. Clean up, tidy up. Then I'll start tidying up, and then I'll get another flash of something else. So I just start following those, and it's a beautiful thing. So try it out. I mean, if you. If you. And there's times, too, you know. I have a friend by the name of Jim Conger. Jen's my buddy. She's also a coach for James Wedmore and his Business by Design program. She shared a story where she was driving down the interstate and she just kept hearing this voice, slow down, slow down. I'm getting chills saying this. Slow down, slow down. And then it was like, slow down. She's like, what in the hell is this? Like, she wasn't paying attention to it, thought it was her mind. So she pulled over and not three seconds later, there was a huge wreck right in front of her. She was like, no doubt in my mind that was the end for me. You know, there's no mistaking that. Like, there's no, there's no analytical side of her mind that's analyzing and saying, okay, this car is doing this. It's going to, you know, it was a. It was a message, if you will. It was, it was a different energy that she was tapping into and she, you know, scared the crap out of her. And that's what happens most of the time. It's like, you know, my. Something's calling me, pulling me to do xyz, but that's not in alignment with what I told my parents. I'm going to do what society thinks I should do and what, you know, what the plan is. So it's something to pay attention to and to test out, to feel into a little bit and, you know, and just, you know, all, everything I'm saying right now, you know, don't believe a word I'm saying. Try it on for yourself. Like a jacket. You don't know if it fully fits and if that jacket's for you until you try it on. So I just say, try it on.

Yeah, I love that. And I do love that you actually, you know, really started to get into it because I'll tell you that that was one of my as, as a, you know, super analytical, like, I'm a plant. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a recover, covering over thinker because I am an action taker, but I would say, you know, I don't tend to overanalyze in the sense that that would put me in like a paralysis by analysis. But it does come from a place of like, I gotta get this right.

Yeah, right.

I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right. I gotta figure it out. And so for me, and I haven't shared yet on my podcast, but I will. I think it, I think I will. It'll come out first. But for me, I started well, you can't just.

Come on.

I'm gonn. Is that is the, you know, I just closed the launch, right? And every time I go through any type of process, I always had, you know, there's always going to be lessons and there's always going to be successes. And for me, one of the biggest successes and lessons and breakthroughs I'll share is that I started to really just pay attention to the core questions you ask yourself, yourself over and over and over again. And for me it was what am I missing? What am I missing? What am I missing? And I had this moment of like, what if you're not missing anything, nothing's missing. And instead you shift the question to how can I see a different perspective? What's the different perspective? What's the different perspective? And when you start asking yourself different questions, you're going to get different answers, period. And so, and it's just amazing what opens up for you. Nothing changes on the outside, but everything's changing on the inside. And I just think that as left brain, brain thinkers and as business owners, we tend to discredit that or think that that doesn't matter when it's actually everything. It is everything.

Yes. Yeah.

In my opinion.

Yeah. Because I mean, you know, even if we're following a mentor's blueprint or a process or whatever, that mentor has different energy, he different, you know, positioning and marketing and messaging and all that stuff. So we must be able to, to navigate and to get feedback and to course correct as we go in order to expand into our promotion or whatever we're doing or whatever we're doing in life. And if we're just blindly following somebody else's process, then we're only following in their footsteps. We really have no opportunity to, you know, gain our own lessons and all that stuff. We're just blindly, you know, following somebody else. But there's so many lessons, like Beverly said for sure, that are gnawing for our attention. And there's the parable too, that's like, you know, when your life's trying to get your attention, it's going to throw a rock, little pebble first and then a rock and then it's going to throw a stone and sooner or later it's going to keep trying to get your attention. It's going to throw a boulder at you. Right. And I don't want to, I don't want them boulders coming at me. So I'm paying attention, I'm open to seeing what I possibly am not seeing in which yet again sounds wacky and even have conversations with my wife, you know, she's, she's an attorney, very left brained and I open up to the idea, you know, help her open up to the idea of there's possibly things going on that we can't see. And she's like, no, no, there's not like it's not Possible. She's like, no, it's not possible. I'm like, all right, okay, all right, I'll let, I'll let you be with that and see how that, see how that works out for you. But I am. I mean, there's. There's all sorts of sensory data coming at us every single moment. I mean, if you think about it, there's information from the computer and you know, WI fi and you know, I mean, there's literally money from bank wiring, like going right by our ears right now. Like, there's information everywhere. And it's foolish to think like every, all the information just is, is dead. As soon as you say something, the words fall dead, right? There's no subconscious, there's no, no nothing. But it's all being stored. It's all going somewhere. It's all energy. And I was actually just reading and this goes a little, little yet again on the woo woo side is we all are powerful, powerful, powerful beings. I talk a lot about personal power inside my heart centered selling mastery program. We are very powerful. And Beverly said one of my favorite words earlier too. She said intention, right? And so when we can place our attention and our focus on something, our attention and intention, that is basically stored energy. But when we can use our will, and not just necessarily our willpower and our pushing through and our forcing and things like that, but our strength, our inner strength, our will to put that intention in motion, to put energy behind it, that's when we can create and that's when life gets exciting. It doesn't necessarily have to be that we're doing everything that everybody else is doing. We can blaze our own trail and there's things that are vying for our attention each and every day that yet again, like the boulder, like the rock, it's going to get your attention one way or the other. And it could get your attention later on down life and say, damn it, I turned a blind eye to that my whole fricking life. It's something I wanted to do. But my ego mind, my analytical mind said, no, there's no way. You're not doing that. I'm, I'm xyz. I'm, you know, a doctor. I'm a, I'm a physical therapist. I'm whatever. I'm not doing xyz, right? And so we can get into this battle with ourselves. And that causes a lot of discord, a lot of discomfort, a lot of pain, a lot of disconnect. But when you can, you can, you can use the best of both worlds. When you consider yourself more in the 50, 50 of your masculine and feminine energy and start to trust and start to work from knowing the world opens up for you. And yet again, don't believe what I say. Try it on for yourself.

Yeah, you know what? Also I'm going to say to two things based on what you were talking about is that too, you know, to always be checking in with, like, even with this work, as you're starting to, you know, peel back the layers of your. Of you and uncover your heart a little bit, is that wherever you go, there you are. So if you're always trying to get it right in your processing and on the left brain, right. Even in this work, you can recognize like, there is no right. Like you need, as you said a couple of times, feel into it. Try it on. Yeah, right. And one of the other things that you said, which I think is really important, which was. Has been a big shift for me and has been one of the ways that I've been able to tap into a little bit more of this, you know, sense that you. You call it is remembering and recognizing that nothing is by accident and everything is either happening, is not happening to you, it's happening for you. Right. And whether or not you believe in that or believe in fate. Right. It's not really about that. It becomes more of you getting to ask yourself powerful questions and things like, all right, if this is happening for me, what's the lesson? And then you get to shift perspective in how you are listening and taking in what's happening.

Yeah. Yeah.

And now, you know, that's one of the ways like you gave. You shared that powerful story from. From Jen, that I think for me that that's been one of the ways that I've been like, being able to hear, not necessarily hear things. Sometimes it's just like you get inspired to do something. Oh, I should listen to that podcast.

Yeah. Yep.

You know, that's your sense. Just things that you're just doing on autopilot all the time. I think that is one of the things that people don't realize, aside from the monkey brain, which. Can you clarify what that is? But we're just on autopilot all the time.

Yes, 100%. And it's almost like there's two parts of us that are vying for or what we want to create. One wants to stay congruent and in alignment with our past, our past experiences, our beliefs, our stories. But the other one has this sense, this knowing that there's more for us. And the key Is if we are on autopilot, if we are not present and we are constantly thinking about the future and pulling from the past, we are not present. And if we are not present, we can't really create fully. We can yet again repeat that we can't create. And so the trick being, which isn't really a trick at all. And I would dare to say it's a kind of a cheat code for life is to be and stay present. When you're quiet in this moment, when you're using your higher senses. Yes, we have all the five senses. And yet again, the conversation with my wife, it's. It's kind of. To me, it would be almost, what's the word I'm looking forth, negligent to believe that that's our only five senses, right? There's no other senses. That's it. That's it. That's what the science book says. That's it. It's like, okay, well, how come people are able to. Yeah, just like Jen, like, how can you, how can you describe that? How was she able to have this sense that something bad was about to happen when there's no proof, there's no concept, there's no hearing, seeing, feeling anything that something bad is going to happen, Right? And you see the countless examples. It's like, you know, a mother, you know, is sitting there with their kids and then all of a sudden she just knows that they're about to fall or something and she catches them. Like, what is that? Right? There's. There was no moment in time where that happened before. She's not pulling from the past. She's sensing something, she felt something and she needed to look right at that moment. So there's much more happening than meets the eye and, or the nose and the mouth and the feeling. There's so much more than that. And it is. It's one of those things that we could e, turn our nose up at it and say, this is a weird conversation. This is wacky, this is woo woo. Or we can get curious and be open to it. And you might find that there's things that are on your heart that you want to create that have been gnawing at your attention for the longest time. And I'm a big advocate. I work with a shaman by the name of Don Xavier and he has helped me to see the importance of keeping the idea, the concept of death close. And I was even doing this and it's just something I've done for the longest time. Call it sadistic or whatever, but I will fast forward to the end of my day sometime and I'm going to look back in that moment and I'm going to have some very, very, very, very, very tough questions to answer. And if I look back in that moment and I'm like, you dummy, you know, you could have done this. And I have this feeling to do this. I always wanted to write a book. I always wanted to do this. I always wanted to help people in this way. I always wanted to, you know, yada, yada, yada, we can consume ourselves in the last days. And I'm telling you, that's not one way that I want to go out. And I would dare to say whatever you're experiencing in your last moments here, you're probably going to have to, you know, fulfill some karma on that if we, if we want to, you know, you know, have that conversation or believe that conversation. But there's things in that last moment to where it's going to be very heavy if we're not following these nudges now. And that's exactly. And call it a sense, call it just a trick of the mind, whatever, but I know for a fact I'm going to be at the end of my ropes one day, looking back, and I want to be comfortable in them last days being like, you did it, man. You played full out, you played a good game, you lived, you loved, you cared for a lot of people, you helped a lot of people, you put yourself aside. And this is a big component of heart centered selling is. We want to put so much emphasis on me, how I look, my money, my success, my name in the light. But it's not about you, it's not about me, it's not about Beverly, it's about all of us. And if you think about it and really break this down, this is the way I think often too, is if I stay put in my comfort zone today, worrying about me, worrying about what I look like, then that one person that I'm here to help today stay stuck. If that one person stays stuck and I miss the opportunity to help them, then the people that they're here to help stay stuck as well. And if I change one person's life, I'm not just changing one person's life, I'm changing the world. Because that person's going to go out, they're going to be, you know, in a different head space, you know, different, different approach to life where they're going to connect deeper with their family or their kids or their people at their work or whatever, which is Going to have a ripple effect that goes on not only in the short term, but forever. And we have that power to create change, to influence change. But a lot of times we get so wrapped up in me and how do I look and you know, I need to make money and I need to close some sales. But if I'm leading from a heart, leading from my heart, from a heart centered standpoint, being of service, showing up powerfully and standing for my value, I'm changing the world, all have that.

I'm really glad that you're bringing this up because I think it is a great entry point into what I want to talk about next. Which I feel like a lot of people who are heart centered or who and have fear around. I mean, I do want to talk about fear too. My gosh, there's so many things.

I love the fear conversation.

Yeah. But the. Because you know, you talk about feeling into it and then people are like, oh, I'm afraid, but. And I think that that could, you know, we could end on that. But I am curious about how you help people who are heart centered but have feelings around. Like, yeah, I just want to help people. So I don't want to ask them for money. So how can I just, you know, give, give, give, give, give and then have feelings around like. But I'm going to take from them if I'm asking for money. So how do you navigate that? I'm curious.

Yeah. So conversations around money are huge in the sales world because we've all been taught all the old adages, money is the root of all evil and you should give and never ask. And there's been stories in my past where I was at my grandparents house and I can't remember the roles, but my mom either brought some beer and some food to the family gathering and her sister wanted to pay her back. And my mom was like, no, no, no, no, no, it's a gift, it's a gift. You know, I don't want any money. And her sister was like, no, you're taking the money. My mom's like, no, I'm not taking the money. Yes, you're taking. And it really like escalated. And so in my mind I'm like, whoa, it's bad to receive. And you need to like stand in your ground and not be able to receive. Right. But if I give, give, give, give, give. I'm gonna run out, I'm gonna run out, I'm gonna run out, I'm gonna burn out, my cup is gonna be empty. So there's a phenomenal book that I give to each and every one of my heart centered selling mastery students when they first enroll. It's called the Power of Receiving. That book changed so much for me because it is. I have a huge heart and I want to give, but there's yin and there's yang, there's yin and there's out. In order to give more, in order to build a team and do Facebook ads and really amplify and help more people, I must be willing to. I must choose to receive. And I could put all the stigma on it, and it's bad and all this stuff, and, you know, I'm greedy, yada, yada, yada, but nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it. So in that standpoint, I can just see how, look, the more I bring in, the more I can give. Ultimately, it's the more I give that drives me. But I can't give what I don't have. I can't reach people. If I'm, you know, just. Just coaching people for free and, you know, and doing that, you know, hopefully the word of mouth will spread. But people don't always value free. So I'm putting myself in a predicament. I want to help more people. I must be able to receive. And so, yes, there's. There's a conversation around fear as well, right? It's. It's constantly this battle of letting go of our ego and how I look, you know, if I'm charging money, if I'm asking for money, you know, because there's always people that come out of the woodworks and they're like, you should give this away for free. And like, I would, I would love to, but you wouldn't be seeing this and I wouldn't be delivering this because I'd be, you know, shoveling dog poo somewhere, trying to. Trying to get by. Right? So I'm honoring my work, I'm honoring my value. And in order to do so, I must balance the energy. And it's. It's the same thing. Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, masculine energy, receiving, receiving, receiving feminine energy. So to balance the two is where I focus my attention on where I'm playing from.

And do you find that people that you work with tend to struggle with it?

Oh, yeah, 100%. Yep. They want to give, they want to give, they want to give, they want to give. And here's the thing as well is nine times out of 10, these people, they are good at what they do. They can change lives. They, you know, the services that they provide are freaking life changing because we care deeply. But if we're not willing to, you know, have people invest and literally, as money in exchange and investment in coaching with me is an exchange of energy. There's the ancient law of reciprocity. And if the reciprocity is tipped one way, then that person is naturally going to end up feeling resented. I mean, I used to weigh under charge and then I'd be mad at my clients the whole time, which is not fair to them or to me. Right. So then it gets to a standpoint yet again of, you know, continuing to step up into my value. And now the way I see money, the way I see charging, asking is the more people investing, the more they pay attention. So if I'm going to say, hey, look, we got six months coaching and I'm going to charge you 500 bucks for that, they're probably going to miss some calls. They're going to show up, and sometimes they're on these calls and their mind is elsewhere. They paid 10,000 bucks, 15,000, 20,000 bucks for that. They're going to freaking show up. And when they show up, that's going to produce more transformation in their lives, in the lives of others. So I'm doing myself and others a disservice by giving stuff away. I truly see it. It's that because I've been in programs too, numerous times, people are like, yeah, you can just have this program, like all intention. I'm going to go through this and never crack it.

I love that. Yeah, I love that. I love that. But I think there is a nuance to this conversation. So I'm curious, your perspective on it is that I think that when we are talking about perceived value and measuring value against an investment, investment, it is subjective in the sense that it's not for us to determine what is accessible to people. And you've got, you know, 75% of Americans who are still living paycheck to paycheck. Right. So how do you navigate, you know, deciding for you what and for your people, you know, what their levels of accessibility are while they're coming from a. A giving heart.

Got it. And by levels of accessibility, you mean the investment price or.

Yeah, like. I mean, like, in terms of, like there are people, like. I'll give you. Let me give you a tangible example. I've got someone right now in my program. I love her, and for her, the investment was like, you know, astronomical. Because she's, you know, compared to. Because she's not in the States. Right. And so when I talk to her. And when we, when we're having a conversation and I can see send. Right here's an example sense, right when I'm having a conversation with her, I could tell that the energetic exchange from an extended payment plan that I was going to give to her, she was still going to show up for herself because she had skin in the game for her.

Right.

And so I do know and feel that there are people out there that they will show up for themselves if they have the, you know, if they've got skin in the game. That's what we're talking about, that energy exchange. So as you're navigating these conversations with people when they're like, I just want to give to someone and I know they can't afford it, like what are some of the way, you know, how do you manage that kind of example?

Got it. Yeah. So, so one small entryway is a test and it's kind of funny and I've never done this, but my mentor, James Wedmore, he'll offer a scholarship to his program and the scholarship consists of that person reading a book, writing a five page report. Like they're gonna have to message him to support and you know, the support will tell them all that, read a book that they choose, write a five page report and he says 95 plus times percent of the time they don't do it right. So that's going to show the level of investment right then and right there. I mean if they can't invest in, you know, writing a book report, they don't want this bad enough. So that's, that's one, one way, another way this could get into tactical a little bit is like you said, an extended payment plan. You can make it as easy as possible on people and there's still going to be certain price points to where, hey, look, I, you know, because I have a what, what we would call an ascension model. You know, I have a, you know, my Heart Center Selling mastery program. Then I have a next level coaching intensive. Six months coaching intensive. It's a higher investment. It's not for everybody, but people have the opportunity at a lower investment to get in. Heart Center Selling Mastery. Underneath that, I'm still pouring my heart and soul out on my podcast and so they could get the information there as well. So I would, yeah, definitely love to be able to help everybody and anybody. But yet again, there's this delicate balance of giving something away to where people are just not going to value it. Or is there a way where I can create something that's more accessible to more people. But right now, where my business is, it's just not going to shift my attention and divide my attention and focus in order to do that. But with the free training, the three parts video series training that I'm doing, you can watch that training and you can be freaking rocking it with sales to get yourself set up to where the next time this offer comes around, you can get in there. So there's definitely ways and that's, that's what's on my heart is to make this training game changing enough to where people can start seeing results so they can see it works and they want more and they can afford to get in the, in the program.

So, and I love that you brought that up, I really do. Because it just, just it, it is signals to me and it reminds me and hopefully you who are listening is that don't forget, especially if you're dealing with, you know, struggling with sales, but don't forget that, you know, it's not free. All of that Instagram work that you're doing, all of that podcast stuff that you're doing that was not free in terms of your mic cost money, this cost, your computer costs money, your recording equipment costs money, and your time investment that you're pouring into a free resource. This is a perfect example and demonstration of how we take for granted the stuff that is just automatically put out in front of us. Which is why there needs to be that energy exchange.

Yeah. And I'm a firm believer of the goodwill that I do put out in the marketplace with my podcast and just helping people. And you know, early on in my business, I was doing free coaching calls. Sometimes just like free coaching calls, I got to a standpoint to where I got busy and I wanted to start charging for those one off coaching calls if people decided not to enroll in my one on one coaching, which I'm not really doing one on one coaching right now. However, that was something that, you know, I was giving, giving, giving and whatever you give from a place of an open heart. Not giving to get. Early on, I was giving to get, I was giving to get, I was giving to get. The energy felt icky. And that's why I talk about, you know, when we're, when we're selling, a lot of times we feel icky, we feel pushy, we feel slimy, we feel sleazy because we're doing something with the end in mind of like, I need to get people to buy. I'm playing at a higher level to where I'm going to show up, I'm going to change some lives and the buying is going to become inevitable from how I play the game. And so the goodwill that I put out in the marketplace with an open heart, coming from a pure place of helping people, it's always, always, always going to circle back to me. I don't have to worry about it. No longer get into fear about money and, you know, and, you know, scarcity and meeting people to buy and all this stuff. Because I know working from knowing, not my analytical mind that says X plus X equals X or whatever, but not analytically seeing that. Okay, if I, then I'm going to get the return. If I do this post, then I'm going to get this. If I do this, then I'm going to get this. It's. If I do this, I freaking know good stuff's coming back to me. And it always does when I'm coming from a place of an open heart.

I love that. So, you know, last question and because I want to be mindful of your time, but, you know, we talked a little bit about fear and I'd love for you to just. Are there any, you know, left brain of me? Are there any, you know, things or, I don't know, rituals or things that you do when you feel that sense of fear? Because fear is your friend. It's never going away. It's in our habits. And you know that, you know, your lizard brain and you know that it's literally there designed for your survival. So what are some of the strategies that you help people tap into when they're navigating their fear signals?

I love this. So I love, you know, I love this fear conversation because it was my reality. It was my, it was my perception for the longest time. And it took me so much heart and effort and letting go to navigate that. And I had a quote and I would love for you guys listening to write this down. This changed my life. I wrote this on my whiteboard and it was on my whiteboard for years. Fear is getting out into the future without the resources you have available to you right now. So I'll say that again. Fear is getting out into the future without the resources you have available to you right now. So what does that mean when we get into fear? Unless there's a tiger chasing us, then fear is fear. And it's a good thing. When we get out into fear, we are getting out into the futures in our minds without our resources, without our hearts, without our smarts, without our past experiences, without our sense of humor. So we're playing an unfair game, putting ourselves in the future without all of our resources. So if you're going to think about the future, I would turn it away from worrying and more into simulating how you want that situation to go. And in doing so, your mind follows those prompts. Your mind, or excuse me, your actions, your behavior will follow how you see things in your mind all the time. And so when you continue and consistently get out into the future, because that's where fear is, make sure you take your heart with you. Make sure you take your sense with you. Make sure you take your knowing with you. And I felt like there was something else. Can you ask me that question one more time? Because I feel like there's something else there. Yeah.

How you navigate the fear signals, like, how do you help people move through, like, fear, the fear and do it anyway and really kind of move through it? Because we know fear is never going to go. And I love that quote that you gave, by the way. Yeah, but I know. Yeah, okay. I know that fear is never going to go. How do you move through it? Move through that uncomfortability. Now these are, these are, you know, don't you know you're listening as a fitness professional, so you are used to getting through those thresholds of like, pain and moving through it, but when we're talking about something that's a little bit more vulnerable, it's, it has a different sensation.

Yes, absolutely. And you said it again. You're, you're, you're seeding me very well. Sensation. This whole, you know, we talk about energy, if we break it down into its finest form, it's, it's vibration, right? It's electricity, it's vibration. So there is actually a vibrational scale. If we are working from fear, it is pretty much a disempowering place to work from. Unless we are, you know, have the fight or flight and we are, you know, fighting the tiger and things like that, then it is an empowering place to work from. However, one step up from that, this was my way of being for a whole year. Is courage. One step up from fear is courage. And so when. So in 2014, I fell into a huge funk. I would dare to say I was depressed. I wasn't clinically diagnosed or anything like that, but it was the hardest time of my life. I couldn't move. It was hard to get out of bed. And when I was sitting down at my computer every day I'm like, what the hell am I doing? I was mounting more and more debt. I was in fear, I was, you know, it was wild. And I started seeing and I really kind of like internalized all of this because I went from when I first started. I first started my career with a 25 year old ad agency, traditional ad agency, selling radio and TV and newspaper. And actually we created a online digital marketing program that I was excited about. But when it came to selling, I had some past experiences with selling that were rooted deep in me. And I had to adopt an alter ego in order to get my butt off of my chair and to go meet and greet people and to make phone calls and things like that. So I got going and once I put myself in a position to connect with people, I was me. I was fine. Sales were easy, but it was the art of getting going. And so when it comes to fear, I have trained myself now going through what I went through in 2014, one of the things that was really weighing me down is like, I thought I owed a ton of money to my accountant and to the irs and it was going to be insurmountable. It was like, it was like 3,000 bucks at a certain standpoint, which was a lot of money back then. And it was mind messing me every day. And then there was one day I finally had enough. I had enough. And I'd been working to kind of like keep myself in a peak state. I would literally like, you know, talk about sports. I'm an athlete. I would try to pump myself up each and every day. I would do mirror work. I'd have these affirmations and sayings that I would say to myself to feel good because my body was, My vibe was so low in a depressed state. And I would go down the halls and act like I was like slapping hands out of the tunnel, like, you know, running into the sports arena and just like really feeling it. And I would sit down on my computer and, you know, off the start, it would last like five minutes and then I'm down in the dumps again. Then we last 15 minutes and the next day, you know, last a little bit longer. So I was managing my state. But the big aha moment was for me is when I finally called my accountant. When I, when I became courageous, ways of being identity, faced my fear, called my accountant, and he was just like, yeah, that's good. We'll just get you on a payment plan and you can even chip away at this. It's no big deal, right? It's not that big a deal. I'm like, cool, awesome. So much weight came off my back. Then I was just like. And I'm getting chills here. It's always a good sign. Then I had this aha moment. It's like, look, I could have. And I'm not a violent person, but I will say I could have smacked fear in the mouth a lot earlier, right? So now I've trained myself. If there's anything that's like a conversation with my wife or with my team or something that's not working right, or it's usually conversations that are, you know, the most vulnerable parts, right? If there's something that's starting to bog me down and weigh me down a little bit, I'm going to go smack it in its mouth before it overrides me and bogs me down. Because I have contrast of knowing I'm not going back to where I was, right? And I use that to my advantage, right? I'm like, I see that if I start, you know, closing off and, you know, and closing my heart and things like that, no, no, no, I'm not going back there. But now, anytime I'm feeling fear, feeling the visceral reactions to fear, one, I know that once I do smack it in the mouse or kiss it on the nose, we'll just say, then it's going to resolve, it's going to go away. And there's this parable too, about, there was this village that there was this monster that used to come down every single night, every single night. And the townspeople would just have to go in their houses and hide, and they were always afraid of this monster. And then one day this. This guy came and he was like, would you like me to take care of your problem? And everybody's like, yes, please do. So that monster came out and that guy walked right up to that monster, right up to it. And each step he took towards the monster, the monster got smaller, smaller, smaller to where he finally picked the monster up, put it in his little jar, brought it back for all the townspeople to see. That's usually the same way with fear. In looking at it, it seems so big and insurmountable, and we even try to avoid. Avoid it, which is wasted personal power, it's wasted energy. But when we can look it in the eye, when we can walk up to it and be courageous, that's going to set you on a whole new trajectory. Because now you have experiences to pull from that you are courageous. And now these conversations and things that you're doing and stepping up and putting yourself out online or whatever that you're applying, avoiding becomes a lot easier because you have case studies and examples of. I'm the type of person who does this. This is part of your new identity, your new way of being is to be courageous and also move up the vibrational scale. Because if we are being courageous, that still insinuates that there's fear there. When we can, you know, work for more of an open hearted, expansive place from love, joy, caring about people. The fear really doesn't bother you. And even if it does, chances are you're getting into your analytical mind and getting out to the future and not being present right here and right now. So that's, that's the way I handle it and that's the way I coach my students on it, is to look at an eye and to prove to themselves that I'm the type of person that doesn't let these things affect me anymore. It's a thing of the past.

What a powerful way to end the podcast. That is brilliant, Adam. Thank you so much for pouring into us. I really appreciate it. So for those of you who want to learn more about your heart centered work, where can I send them?

Yeah, absolutely. So I'm a big fan of Instagram. I hang out on the Grams sometimes and just do some story behind the scenes. I do some funny stuff here and there and I got a, I got a cute, popular little 20 month old that a lot of people are like, you need to post more of him. I'm like, what? You don't want to hear from me?

Like what to do?

So you definitely hit me up at Instagram. That's Adam Kadou and that's K I D D O o. So that's two Ds and two Os and also I'm kicking off a three part video series where I'm going to have a deeper conversation about heart centered selling from a standpoint of being in that personal power. Also being able to use heartfelt language and persuasion patterns to be able to bypass people's mental filters to connect deeper. Because everybody has their walls up and so much information online, if you're talking at people and trying to force them and push them to do something, people are getting way, way, way more sensitive to that. So when you're able to speak their language and connect deeper using certain patterns, then that's going to help your, you know, sales and your connection and enrollment. And also I talk about certain, you know, simple strategies just to book more clients and get people hyped up and excited to work with you and buy from you. So you can actually go to AdamKadu.com forward/fit fit. I made that specifically for this this show here. So Adam Kadoo to get signed up for that. And that's kicking off October 14th. Other than that, I'm always doing free trainings and things like that. So if you do go to that Adamkadu fit and you've passed the October 14, we're going to be rocking with that for three weeks. But there's always more to come. So there's probably going to be a wait list page at that standpoint if you don't get signed up in time there. But love for you to join me.

So cool, cool, cool. We'll definitely link all that up and your podcast. So. So I'm super pumped and excited for you. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today.

Yeah, this is awesome when you ask some very great questions. So thanks for making it easy.

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