In this vlog, Callie Anderson and her Korean partner Hongchelo recount their first Korean‑style wedding, which they held despite already being legally married. They discuss why they chose to have a ceremony—family pressure and cultural expectations—and contrast Korean wedding customs with those in the United States. Key differences highlighted include the family‑centric nature of Korean weddings, the practice of giving cash instead of gifts (and Callie's spreadsheet tracking contributions), the extensive pre‑wedding photoshoot with multiple dresses, makeup, and even drinking soju, and the use of livestream to include overseas relatives. They describe traditional elements such as wearing hanbok, the chest‑nut‑catching ritual (which they interpreted as a sign of having three daughters), and the belief that rain brings good luck. Emotional moments are shared, like Callie's mother walking her down the aisle, her father's absence, and the bilingual announcements. They also note budgeting concerns, the extravagance versus cost‑effectiveness, and the fact that they later held a second, more American‑style wedding in Seoul. The episode ends with a teaser for the next video about that second ceremony.
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We've been married for 3 years, together for 12, and today we're going to talk about our Korean-style wedding. Actually, we didn't really want to have a wedding ceremony because we were already legally married.
And I thought it's just a little bit of waste of time, and it costs usually like crazy amount of money. We would like to use that money towards something like an experience or travel or something like that. Yeah, I wanted that money to go towards our honeymoon, but then my mom keep pushing. They really want me to have a ceremony in Changwon with the family members and their friends and colleagues and stuff. So we decided, why not? Yeah. It could be a good experience for her too.
And it was. Actually, that was probably one of the first culture shocks with the wedding. To me, it seems like in Korea, it's not just for the bride and the groom. It's for the whole family. Because I think in the US, maybe we're a little bit more selfish when it comes to that. It's like, whatever the bride wants. In here, it seems like the whole family is kind of involved.
Think about my parents. Over 30 years, they went to all the friends' sons' or daughters' weddings. And then they paid lots of money. They want to like try and get some money for us too. And also, it's kind of like, oh, my eldest son is getting married. And they want to show their friends. Maybe a little show-off too, you know?
Actually, I didn't know some of the people at our wedding.
Me neither.
I had attended weddings before in Korea, so I knew that you don't really give gifts, you give money. In the US, there is a gift table, so it's not just like everyone is expected to pay cash. Usually we have a gift registry, so we know what the bride and groom want for their house, and then people buy off that list. But yeah, I was really surprised. I don't know if this is normal, but you kept an Excel spreadsheet with like who attended the wedding and how much money they gave.
Yes, because I don't want to be like a person who forgot to give them money. I don't want to be a mean person, you know, cheapskate. Yeah, like I usually try to send more money than what I received.
It's a little tricky. I think it's hard to navigate the money part.
I didn't really care about the money we getting, but I was very careful about the money we're spending on the wedding. I just like rent, uh, whatever random tux the hotel gave me for free.
It looks good.
Thank you. We really trying to budget the ceremony.
For me, our Korean wedding was very extravagant still, and I think my family who was there would agree. So I think we got good bang for our buck. In the US, we have an engagement photo shoot, but not in a wedding dress. But yeah, I wore 3 dresses. Lots of outfit changes. I had my own personal hairstylist, my own makeup artist. Your friend took our photos. I was really kind of nervous. I know it might sound weird because I'm always filming for YouTube, but I'm kind of camera shy. And he made the shoot so fun. And even though it was such a long day, I had a blast. I would get married again just for the photoshoot.
I liked it because we changed spot a lot. Because we were filming at the pojang , and then we were crossing the street.
That was fun. I actually legit drank soju during our photoshoot. And I was kind of worried, not just about like the photoshoot itself, but afterwards. Because Korean Photoshop, it looks good. But I just wanted to still look like myself. I didn't want too much Photoshop. Yeah, I mean, they definitely touched things up, but we still look like ourselves, so I was happy with that.
They make me a little taller. I was happy with that.
It was kind of funny because when we got those back, of course I was so excited, so I posted them on my social media, and all of my friends commented on it, and they were like, oh my gosh, congratulations! Wait, you got married? Because at that point I hadn't invited anyone to the wedding. And everyone was like, "Oh my gosh, what? When did this happen?" It's because I'm in the wedding dress. That's not typical in the US. It's more like showing off the ring. We do a lot of like these poses.
Because in Korea, you usually take a photoshoot. You gotta make the invitation and then the photo frame to decorate the venue. Like, some guy didn't even propose even at that point too. Wow.
Yeah, the timelines are so different in the US versus Korea. How was it seeing me in a wedding dress for the first time?
She was amazing.
Fun fact, during that photoshoot, one of those dresses that I wore, that was my favorite wedding dress. Even more so than the one I wore during the ceremony.
That's because it's 10 times more expensive than the one you're wearing.
Oh, okay, okay.
I think one cultural difference is also in Korea, to invite people, we call it like a wedding invitation gathering. I just think it's a little bit of a waste of time and money. If people are caring, you will come to the wedding. If not, you will send a message like, "Congrats." So if those gatherings decide your relationship, I don't think it's a healthy relationship. So I did only 2 because those people are coming from Seoul to Changwon. So I was like, "I appreciate you coming all the way to Changwon." I guess in the US, the closest thing to that would be—
well, there's nothing really close to it. It's Korean culture for sure.
What was the wedding like? For you?
I was very skeptical at first because I've attended a lot of Korean weddings and they just seem very fast, very inefficient. There's no party afterwards. To be completely honest, I thought maybe they weren't super intimate, but at the end of the day, I had a really great experience. I liked that everything was very easy. So usually when I think of American weddings, it's very stressful, but in Korea, I actually didn't have to worry about anything at all that day. I know your mother and you both put in work before to make it run so smoothly. The other thing that I liked is just seeing kind of the merging of our cultures in our families. My mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, my grandma, they all came from the US. My mom and my grandma wore hanboks. My sister gave a speech. My friend Dahye was the announcer. And she spoke in Korean and in English, so she had a really hard job.
I think a lot of the participants, like especially the older people there, maybe were shocked actually because we did it like untraditionally, some of the parts. I mean, usually the moms walk down the aisle and like light up, but then your grandma did it with my mom. That was kind of cute.
And my mom walked me down the aisle. I mean, that's different in the US as well, but my dad wasn't able to make it just because it's obviously obviously so far away. I was getting my hair and makeup done, and I talked to my dad on the phone. He started tearing up. I could hear him getting choked up when he was talking, and then I just started crying. And the makeup ladies were like, no, no, don't cry! I was like, I gotta go, Dad, bye. Of course, like, I missed my dad there a lot, and he probably would have walked me down the aisle if he had been there, but it was cool having my mom walking down the aisle as well. So the wedding day, in the morning I of course got my hair and makeup done. Really happy with how they did it. I went and sat in the bridal room, and one thing that really surprised me about Korean weddings is that you see the bride before she walks down the aisle. That's like a big no in the US. I think in the US that is the part of the wedding that everybody is most excited for though, is the moment when the groom sees his bride for the first time. It's usually a very emotional part of weddings in the US. The grooms will cry. In the beginning, I tried to have it like that, but then it was just like, we gotta take a photo. I said, okay, I'll compromise.
They're gonna kick us out after 30 minutes, you know, so we gotta take photo beforehand.
So yeah, you saw me before, and then it was just, you're on, no practice. But I was so nervous and I could hear your entrance.
That was weird. I was in the very dark room. And then the lights are going crazy. And then they opened up the automatic door. And then I'm like, walk down the aisle.
And then I entered. That was it. So then the ceremony was starting. We did not say vows. We had actually said our vows in private before. I felt like I could be a little bit more vulnerable and sincere in private.
Usually in the Korean wedding, somebody else is singing for us. Since my dad is playing saxophone, I was like, you playing saxophone and then I will sing.
Hongchelo! Follow him on YouTube. His dad is a really good saxophone player. So yeah, we'll link his YouTube.
You didn't know I was gonna sing?
I didn't. We were in Changwon for something, trying on the dresses, something like that. And you suddenly ditched us. You were like, "Oh no, I'm not gonna go." For 1 month, my dad and I practiced separately.
We gotta at least do 1 rehearsal, so that's why we came.
It definitely was everybody's favorite part of the wedding. Actually, one detail we didn't talk about is we were live streaming the whole ceremony because a lot of my friends and family from back home couldn't attend. My grandpa stayed up until like midnight to watch the wedding on livestream. My mom and grandma, they've never been bowed to, so they both had the waterworks coming when you bowed to them. That was the end of the ceremony, but then we put on the very traditional hanbok. And then the family threw chestnuts and we had to catch it with the train of our dress, and we caught 3 chestnuts. So we're gonna have 3 daughters apparently.
At least we'll have daughters, not sons. I have a younger brother, so knowing my mom, like raising 2 sons, I don't know. Yeah.
And then it was buffet time. We just went around and said hello to everybody. It rained that day. In the US, it's good luck if it rains on your wedding day, and it poured.
I think it's in Korea too like that.
Is it?
Yeah.
One similarity.
Yeah.
I was really touched because we had friends coming from Seoul, from Vietnam, from Hong Kong.
I love you guys.
Yes, we love you. So we thought we weren't going to have any weddings, and actually this wedding we're talking about was just our first wedding.
We ended up did two weddings.
Should we have a third?
No.
Actually, I think the second wedding was really fun and interesting, but it was a lot more work.
More work? For who?
We will talk about that in the next episode though.
So we did an American-style wedding in Seoul.
So stay tuned for the next one, and we will see you then. Thank you for watching.
