How to Be a Leader (Even If You Aren't One Yet)

Hey, everybody, My name is Ryan Daniel Moran. Today we're going to talk about how to be a leader or become a leader, even if you aren't one right now. Leadership is a skill. Just like business acumen or investing or speaking. These are all things that can be developed. Some people are born more natural leaders and others aren't. But it's a skill that can be developed. And we're going to talk about that in this video. I'm the founder of capitalism.com so the context that I'm coming from is speaking to entrepreneurs and business leaders. But the principles are the same. No matter who you want to lead, whether it's lead your family or lead your church, or lead a company or lead a troop, whatever it is, these are the principles that are going to determine whether or not you become an effective leader. So I can tell you, I don't think that I was a natural born leader. I had to develop certain skills over several years and a lifelong pursuit of becoming an effective leader. But ultimately, leadership is getting other people to rally behind what it is that you are doing. Right? So we're going to go into some tactical things that you can do in a second. But part of the context of leadership is being able to get everyone on the same page behind what it is that you're trying to accomplish. And that comes from being able to cast a vision, being able to cast some sort of purpose behind what the heck we're all doing anyway. Whether it's a company, you have to be able to cast a vision for why people want to give up their time or other opportunities to come with you. By the way, a lot of entrepreneurs think that you just have to pay them more. Sometimes that's the case, but most of the time people want to be a part of something. They want to have a reason for what it is that they're doing. There's actually been psychological studies behind paying people high wages that were completely purposeless. So that meant, I think the test was they dug holes at the end of the day, they filled them back up and they gave them above average wage and they had really high turnover. Why? Because people aren't really persuaded by those types of things. They're persuaded by things like purpose. So the foundation of any of this, like, you won't be able to use any of these strategies if you are not able to see and communicate some sort of vision that attracts the type of people that you want to be leading. Right. To be following you. It's just like in politics, right? In politics, people want to Be led by someone that has a vision for something. That's why you vote for the people that you vote for or don't vote for the people you don't vote for. Because the vision that they are casting is not the world that you want to live in. So you're not going to go to the polls and vote for them. Right? So that is. I'm not even calling it rule number one. It's just the general context. We can't even start if you don't have some reason for people to follow you, for you to be the leader. And the way you become that in the first place is by casting some sort of vision that is not just you. But I'm going in this direction and we're going there. And this is what life looks like. And this is why you should come on board and follow me. Right? Jesus did this, right? Talking about the kingdom of heaven and what this was and what was being ushered into the world. And he had 12 really passionate followers, a lot more than that. But, you know, he was a leader of that group of 13 men, including himself, which ultimately went on to change the world. And in order for you to have any sort of impact, you must be able to lead by casting a vision. What we're going to do now is head over to the whiteboard and. And go through some four very practical things that you can do to develop this skill of leadership. Once you have the context of being able to cast a vision that people want to rally behind. Because it's really not about you, it's about them, it's about other people. And in order for people to rally behind something, they have to know what's in it for them. And they do that by rallying behind a mission or a vision of something. So let's go into practically what you can do in order to develop this as a skill. And the first is to take responsibility. Now, I don't mean this how it seems on the surface. I don't mean to take responsibility for other people. In fact, part of leadership is going to be allowing other people to take responsibility for the results in their lives. But in order to do that, you must set the precedent of being able to do that for yourself. What I mean by taking responsibility is to take responsibility, take ownership of the overall results and context of your life, knowing that you are the only solution that you've got to be able to create the change that you want to see in your world. It's gotta be you. Waiting for someone else is blaming, putting the responsibility on someone Else is giving them your power. Taking the ownership of your body, your life, your finances, and knowing it is you is the first step to being an effective leader and the reason for that. And by the way, this, of course, there are outside circumstances that were not your fault, or you didn't choose where you were born or all the cards that you were dealt. But taking responsibility for some context for how you got to where you are, positive or negative, is the first step. Because if you want to be an effective leader, you have to be able to let other people take responsibility for their actions, take responsibility for their results, and they have to see that reflected in you. You can't really empower another person to help lead your charge or to be impactful in your company or, or to be a good boy scout or to do anything that you're trying to do if you can't give them the ability to fail or succeed on their own merit. And in order for that to happen, you've got to be able to succeed or fail on your own merit. So owning that and taking responsibility for what that is for you so that you can then encourage others to do that. The opposite of this is taking on everyone's responsibilities, because that's actually no responsibility at all. For example, a big shift that I had to make as a leader in a company was I took all the responsibility for the results that were in my business. And then when someone on the team didn't hold up to their end of the agreement.

I said, well, I'll take it on, I'll fix it, I'll finish it. And so I took responsibility for their results. That is not leadership. That is not true taking of responsibility. What I had to do there to fix that was to say, okay, this system.

This culture is my fault. I will take responsibility for fixing this. The first step for me to be able to do that is to be to communicate exactly what their responsibilities are and stay out of their way and tell them that they're responsible for their own results. And here are my results that I will get. And if this isn't a fit, someone needs to go. So that is an example of taking responsibility versus being a victim in a, in a bigger series of events. Number two.

Make.

Decisions.

I don't mean to be overly simplistic, but most people are bad at decisions. I know for, for, for, for me and for a lot of people I know we're, we're kind of trained to be people pleasers. Don't rock the boat, make other people happy. The result of decisions is that you Run the risk of disappointing someone else. But by making a decision, any decision, I would say in most cases, a bad decision is more progress than no decision, because you have momentum, you can adjust along the way. And if you see it as a failure, well, you can correct it with just another decision. So, for example, a coach told me once I had just moved from Cleveland, Ohio, to Austin, Texas, and I was feeling a little bit guilty because I had young nephews and I had some ailing grandparents. And I was thinking about, did I make a wrong decision? Should I move back? And this person said to me, you can move back anytime. And if you decide to move back, that's not failure. It's just another decision. Decisions move us forward. Now here's an example of, like, really bad leadership. Honey, where do you want to eat tonight? I don't know. Where do you want to eat? Someplace new.

What about this place? No, I don't want to go there.

How about this place? No, I don't want to go there. Can't you just pick something? I'm trying to, but you're not helping me at all. Oh, why are you always like this? And now we're in a nothing fight. How many times has this happened? So I thought we were just trying to decide what dinner was, but the truth is it would be better for you to come to the table with, I want to go eat here. Do you want to come? That's leadership. That is a clear decision.

People want to follow.

Motion. No motion happens until a decision is made. So you saying, guys, this is where we're going. That's you casting that vision, even if it's what you're having for dinner. Right. That is leadership. That is saying what is or what's going to be and letting other people decide how they would like to operate. You also have a hard time doing that if you can't take responsibility. So decisions practicing. I'm going this way. What do you want to do today? I want to go for a walk. That is people wanting to step up and follow people want to step up and follow people who are in motion. What are you doing this year? My primary goal is to lose £15. You want to join me in my challenge? So just being clear and making decisions, even if they're the wrong ones, makes people want to line up and follow you. And when you take responsibility for deciding what you want your life to look like, it's a lot easier to make decisions. But if you're always people pleasing, it's the opposite of responsibility. Not letting people have Their own experience, not having responsibility, that not letting them not take responsibility. Well, then we can't really make decisions. So take responsibility and then make decisions based on where it is that we want to go. Starts to get people in alignment behind you. So let's just say you're at a church function, for example, and it's a kind of a leaderless. No one's really facilitating this study that you're doing or this volunteer project that you're doing. And you know that you've got to step into some sort of a leadership position. All right, first step, what's not going well? I'm going to address this. I'm taking responsibility for this. I'm going to step up as a leader. Hey, everybody, look, this isn't going so well. So I've decided to do this thing, and here's how I'm going to do it. I could really use three people on this to help correct this. You are now immediately the leader in that situation. People want to be led. So in a leaderless situation, by you stepping up and making that decision, people will get in line behind you. Now, if we're looking at this from a negotiation or a persuasion perspective, and there's already a leader, you can start to usurp them by taking responsibility for what you do. Control and then making decisions from that place. Or stop speaking up when that. When there is something that you disagree with and making a different decision. And that different decision can simply be. I really think the company needs to do this. And I recognize that you're my boss and you can tell me what to do, but if you tell me to do this way on the side, I'm going to go in this direction because I really think this is what we should do. Respect, Right? That is how we can create leadership, even if we aren't the primary person in control. And what you'll notice is that by doing so, you over time become the leader in that sphere, because the people who agree with you will get behind that vision. It is all about setting a clear expectation, taking responsibility, going in that direction. And people get up and line up behind that. That is how leadership begins. The third thing to do, boy, this is hard when you're beginning, is to say no. Now, this is not simply like an allocation of resources thing. This is actually an idea of boundaries. Leaders set boundaries. People pleasers. People are always saying yes, I'll jump in on yes. Are very rarely leaders.

Boundaries have to exist in order for there to be any respect or leadership that is recognized. So when someone says hey, can you do this for me? By 5 o', clock, making the decision to say no, I can't handle this right now. I've decided that this is more important.

That's jarring.

But that other person now has to adjust. And sticking to the boundary of no, that is not how I operate. Or someone saying, hey, can we go do this for dinner? No, we're not doing that tonight. I'll consider that for another night. But we're going in this direction.

There's an immediate, oh, guy's got what he wants, girl knows what she's doing.

No is a way of protecting decisions and responsibility. No is the way that you defend the leadership that you are starting to have. No is a way of setting context for how people are going to try and pull you in their direction. No is a way of showing that you are valuable enough to be a leader.

This is also a way for you to deflect or define when other people try to give you their responsibility and when you can create this type of a boundary, like working with an employee or a team member, for example, when you take responsibility, give them their responsibility, you make decisions for how it's going to be and how the company is going to be led and also let them start to make decisions about how they are going to fulfill their responsibilities and they try to shift something over to you. You saying, no, that's not we agreed what we agreed on. No, that's not how we operate here. No, that's not what we do in my classroom. No, that's not how we do it here. And also let and empower them to say no to the distractions that will keep them from meeting their responsibilities. Now we are becoming an effective leader. Being able to say no to the things that take you out of alignment with the vision that you are building is how you keep everyone on board and let the people who aren't a fit fall out of the way, which creates an even tighter culture around what it is that you are building. Learn to say no even on little micro things. If you don't say no, it shows a lack of respect or value for yourself. And people pick up on that psychologically. And it's hard to lead other people when they don't perceive you as having self respect. All right, number four.

This is probably the hardest of them all. That's why they're in order.

Communicate.

What you.

Want.

It is not enough for you to know what you want. It's not enough for you to be clear on what you want. You have to be able to communicate your expectations or what you want and be willing to say no when other people aren't okay meeting those expectations. So part of this is you cast the vision, you own your own responsibility, make decisions on how we're going to go. Say no to the distractions and the people who want to take you off course, and constantly communicating to the rest of the chain, to everyone down what it is that we are doing and what you want their responsibilities to be in this empire that we are doing. This is very, very true in relationships. Being clear on the relationship I want to have, making decisions about that, saying no when something's not okay, and then clearly communicating actually what I want out of this is this. What I really want in this relationship is this. And I'm okay if you don't want the same thing.

When it is a leadership in a. In a company, it is very clearly communicating what you want out of this exchange, out of their role, what you want to be freed up to do, how you want to operate, because that is how you can actually get the support and get the people who are on board with that same thing. A lot of us are afraid to disappoint other people, and so we end up giving them what we think they want. And so we play this dance constantly of, I think he wants this, I think she wants this. And we play this back and forth, somebody saying, this is what I want and leaving it on the table. And so all of this gets the right people on board lined up behind the central vision of where you're taking the group and allows you to effectively lead towards that vision. And you can't do that unless you know where you're going. You take ownership for it. You make decisions about where you're going, say no to the distractions, and communicate to everyone else what your expectations are and your desires are. That's how you become an effective leader. And it takes a lot of practice. My name is Ryan Daniel Moran. I work with business owners and entrepreneurs to build businesses and invest the profits so that they can experience the change that they want to have in their lives. If you want to get plugged into more videos and more content like this, subscribe to the channel and subscribe to our podcast. You can find it just by searching capitalism.com or my name. Wherever you listen to podcasts. If you're a business leader, we have a monthly program called the 1%, which is all about what's working right now within the capitalism.com community, what we're investing in, case studies about what's working right now and how our students are applying a lot of these strategies in to order order to grow more effective and profitable companies. And you can find more about that at capitalism. Com. Thanks for watching and I'll talk to you soon.